Again, thank you, Jerry.

You wrote: I see this dream addressing self esteem issues you have lived with all your life and trying to escape from the emotional injuries that caused them. I also sense the dream is addressing these issues by your inner exploration. Marijuana is an escape from reality, emotionally.
- I agree with all three statements above.

You wrote: The question that enters my mind is the relationship with Michael. Was he a source of your buying pot and/or shared in its use. Or is there something else the two of you share?

- Yes, Michael and I smoked pot together. On some occasions, he procured it for me. My first use of marijuana was at about 12 years old. One of my girlfriends obtained some through her brother. I continued to use it sporadically until I was about 17 years old, which is when I found spirituality and felt deeply guided to walk away from the marijuana. Michael and I shared many things - the same family, many of the same pains. He was 5 years older than me. He had enlisted in the Coast Guard when he was 18. I looked up to him for that, derived inspiration from him, saw it as a way out of big city life. Micheal, though, ended up being separated from the Coast Guard on a medical condition - his knees. But he continued to play basketball after, and I have never heard of other knee complaints. I have come to wonder/suspect that he actually was not prepared to meet life in the military due to emotional wounding - and, so, may have found a way out. I could be wrong about that, but I imagine he might have faced similar feelings of unpreparedness that I encountered days after my enlistment. A part of me was so afraid that I almost wanted to go back home. But I rose above the fear, holding fast to my commitment to find a way forward, and pressed through to assert my independence. Once I left the Reception Battalion and was received at my Basic Training Unit, they made me the Platoon Guide - which was the beginning of a what became a very successful career for me. Michael was my favorite brother. I felt that he "saw me" and cared for me, even if it was not always said aloud in words. I admired his intelligence. We shared many deep conversations, that more than scratched the surface of life. I did a lot of bicycle riding with him and another male friend (who was my boyfriend for a time) also name Michael, when I was 16-17 years old. I came to love my bicycle, did not go anywhere without it. We traveled many, many (MANY) miles together bicycling. I loved the experience of feeling the physical power of my legs/body, being able to propel myself for great distances, the rhythm of moving in and through traffic and various obstacles on my path. I loved the challenge of climbing hills to receive the reward of coasting/gliding on the way back down. It gave me a sense of my ability, my strength, my freedom. I also used to love watching Michael play basketball. He was good! Agile, quick, accurate. I became very good at basketball myself - a real powerhouse on the court when I was in high school. There were poor memories, too, like the time he called me a witch and pinned me against a wall with his fist around my neck and spat on my face. My siblings and I did not fight often, but when we did, it could be powerfully hurtful.

You wrote: Escape from reality/emotional prisoner
- Agree. Marijuana is a way to escape reality. One loses touch with themself when under the influence. I was weeping about this the other night, subsequent to another dream preceding this one (not posted here). Sad as it is, I am glad it was there to serve the purpose it did for me at a time in my life when I could not find another way to manage the pain. I cannot now argue with what was (though, in my anger, in the past, I did), but I can now grieve for my losses and deepen my compassion for my self.

You wrote: Experiences during this time of childhood
-More and more, I believe that writing my life IS the way for me to go back through it, from my heart - remembering, feeling, bringing love and healing. Writing that, my heart swells and tears run from eyes. The writing is needed.

You wrote: the cost to your self esteem
- I did not know this when young. I see it, now.

You wrote: extensive emotional pain from ages 1 to 16 {1/16 pound}
- Yes. Extensive.

-A good way to describe what results when a child is forced into a state of non-being - when they and their feelings are not recognized and validated in early life. At this moment, I am remembering a book written by a man named Dave Pelzer, 'A Child Called It.' I read it when I was still in the Army and I rained tears because I knew the spaces of self he described. Different experiences, same result.

You wrote: shadow qualities ‘looking down’ on you
- Yes! That is what I felt from her! I could not place the affect of her image. That is it.

You wrote: possessing a strong influence on your emotions/negative persona
- I can see this in me. I have seen/known of myself for some time now that because I felt so 'less than' (others) in early life, I developed a countenance which I carried through life that said, I am 'more than,' or 'better than.' It's a suit of armor that protects what is hurt inside. I think it comes off in layers. When the pain is deep, one must pretend they are 'other than' who and what is really there, for the pain can sometimes be unbearable.

You wrote: -existing in life with negative esteem issues
- I must continue to work on this. My analyst and I were talking about this yesterday, through my tears, as I related how that even when I did accomplish things, I could not take in good feelings/accolades from others - could not really see myself as 'deserving.' Hence, when the masculine tells me in the recent dream that I am a very remarkable young woman, I wept, really being able to feel that genuine compliment for the first time. Affirmation of being is so important.

You wrote: other repressed issues closely related to past experiences
- I am now on a dedicated path to discovering more uncharted territory in myself

You wrote: current self examining inner self
- I missed this It fits. It was as though she was looking closely to see, 'what is going on here?'

You wrote: learning your esteem/personality issues stem from past experiences
-Yes. So, another case of both/and: the masculine image(s) which caused the pain 'and' those helpful qualities that can guide and give me the strength for my inner journey

I think I have many helpers. For whatever reason, right now, at this point in my journey, I am seeing how much help has been there all along. Pitfalls were that I was earlier looking for others to heal me (shamanistic methods, energy workers), escaping to spirituality, etc., and I was stuck in the victim role, too. Many stages I have come through. I know now that this is "my" journey, one that only I can take. There will be help along the way, but "I" must continue to do the inner work.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53, USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes, 01/02/2020

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Just coming back to add some thoughts on the two black ladies in the dream. Shortly after walking away from writing here last night, I was seeing the image of these two black ladies in my mind's eye and here is what came to me... As a white person, it has been my experience that many blacks, upon meeting me, are not sure of me, because I am white. I have often felt that some are wary, on guard, concerned a racist attitude 'may' exist inside of me. When this happens, I can see the lack of trust in their eyes, a defensiveness, an attitude that is judgmental of me (based on a history of racial pain), before they even get to know me. The image of the ladies in the dream gave me a similar feeling.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53, USA

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Kristi,
Thanks for the info about Michael. It gives credence to the 'Jungian' concept that siblings in a dream have a literal application {as well as a symbolic application addressing inner 'related' masculine aspects}. There are so many connectors between you and Michael it would be natural for him to be a part of your dreams. From my Dream Dictionary for brother {Jungian based}:
To see your brother in your dream symbolizes some aspect of your relationship with him.

Let me note also the basketball exercise. That is what I do three times a week, 45 minutes each session, for my workout. Don't play against anyone just myself shooting, jumping and running. It is a great exercise using all the muscles. I am as agile as anytime in my life, which at age 69 is important. It all showed in my last physical examine a couple of weeks ago when my doctor said I was in excellent health. Here is a 5 minute Youtube video of my playing from late last year Basketball Routine 2019 . I have been doing this routine for 11 years.

As for the pot. That too was a connection to Michael. And probably the choice of military service as an escape. Being a boomer of course I know the experience of smoking pot and would not turn down a toke even today. Not something everyone should do and not something I would recommend for a first time user unless with someone who is very experienced {just in case paranoia takes control}. So many positive uses with pot {medical}, I used marijuana salve for shingles when selling/buying houses in 2018 and under great stress. It pretty cured the condition within a week. I wouldn't use it to escape reality since for me reality is being in an objective state of mind in a world that is more fantasy than reality for most.

My primary concept about life is based on childhood experiences. Common sense tells us what we learn as children is most important. What most don't realize is how those experiences {primarily negative} become unconscious stimulus later in life. Many of us are living life looking for love in all the wrong places. That was my story until I discovered Jung and began my inner journey {1992}. When it is realized what the controlling emotional energies are one can begin to take control so the energies no longer control. The inner journey is a psychological journey. Creativity is a great release for such energies as you noted in the book you read. Sharing what others experience through art, poetry, books, self expression in so many ways.

The Shadow is an archetypal energy and when depicted in dreams it usually represents a breakthrough. A black woman/man {especially a woman} is normal shadow figure in dreams {I had such a dream during a time of great realizations about my abilities to interpret dreams}. I don't usually dwell on archetypal images unless I see important connections the dreamer will understand. Jung did the opposite and Jungian psychologists today still do. I try to be as simple in my analysis of dreams so the dreamer will understand. Jung was very deep and I always recommend reading Campbell before taking on Jung.

Existing with negative esteem issues. Having worked on my own self using Jung I know from experience it is a continuous effort even after you have it all worked out and taken control of the negative energies. Things still come up that have been forgotten. Being on guard so the energies are keep behind bars so they can never escape in a time of weakness.

Many helpers. Campbell called them helping hands of fate {some call them angels}. Fate is supposedly predetermined but I tend to believe fate is what you do in life and the residue from those actions. Not so much predetermined as it is karma, reaping what you sow. Only by changing inner attitudes can you change fate. Then the laws of nature provide hands to help you on your journey. If it exists, if it happens it is because nature allows to be so. God is nature, nature rules {nature is feminine, the great mother who provides true and needed nourishment}.

I'll look at you last posted dream Sunday. Today is workout day and including a 60 minute round trip drive to the Y and a much needed nap to recoup {difference between being young and older} the day is pretty well spent. I work on Saturdays and Sundays are downtime for me, a time to catch up on what I didn't achieve during the week {but no physical stuff}.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 69 Altoona, Fl

Jerry,

You appear to be in excellent shape for your age! That's truly wonderful.

I certainly agree that our dream images represent both literal and symbolic applications.

Yes, one's childhood experiences do follow them for life. And it is so true that many never embark on the inner journey of healing and integration. And people do search for love in all the wrong places. I believe it must must be found within, first and foremost. However, loving compassion from others can and does help to point the way.

Though you stick to a simple method of interpreting dreams, I find your analysis's rather exacting. I see that many folks who have posted here never come back with follow up information. My guess is that many may not be ready to see and/or openly discuss the issues their dreams are shedding light on. Nonetheless, each time you do help another look into their dream, you are sowing seeds of introspection and self inquiry, which can be the beginning of the journey for others - which is a gift.

Our healing/growth is definitely a continuing process. I have found myself visiting some issues repeatedly, bringing deeper healing/insights each time.

Finally, yes, it is the Great Mother which provides the nourishment so dearly needed in our world.

I look forward to what you share on my other dream.

Thanks again, Jerry,

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53, USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes, 01/02/2020

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Kristi,
Before I work on your dream a comment about those who fail to respond to my analysis.
I agree with you some do not respond because they are ready to open up to their true feelings. Some may also not understand {are unable to} the analysis for one reason or another. Or do not accept the interpretation because they believe dreams do not have a hidden message or dreams are important. I at one time thought perhaps I providing an incorrect analysis but from those who do respond {especially those like yourself who are willing to share} my analysis has been proven accurate. Of course the original analysis is merely an outline of the emotional energies and when provided personal information a more in dept analysis can be provided with even more accuracy. My interpretation of your last couple of dreams were much easier since I had a knowledge of the emotional energies and only needed to line those with the personal experiences.

And there are those who just do not respond or forget about their post. Kinda annoying since most dreams take a minimum of an hour to analysis in dept.

Let me state that I am not the only person who can analyze dreams with success. There are many who use Jung or concepts 'borrowed' from Jung that can interpret dreams with great success. I personally believe what Jung proposed about dreams are not only correct but verifiable. Most psychologists and publications will not state this but they are tuned more o the academic standards and are either blinded by the scholarly assessments or unable to get past the academics and tap into the intuitive psyche. Jung did that and was often criticized for looking at metaphysical possibilities {astrology, tarot, etc} which do have some basis for fact than most scholars will admit to. Of course as I have stated before metaphysics is not something natural but is natural phenomenon that is not understood or is refused to believable. It is true because nature made it that way or allows it to be a particular way.

A note about physical fitness {something you probably know having had a physical routine riding bicycles and other physical activity}. When I am able to get the attention of anyone who will listen I broadcast the need to be healthy. Not just physical fitness but also diet, stress and sleep. I believe the best way to convince someone of something is to be the good example. It isn't look at me how great I am but look at what you can achieve if you do have a healthy lifestyle. At 69 I am benefiting from the 40 years of fitness. Pay me now or pay me later. Later isn't that long in the future.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 69 Altoona, Fl

Jerry,

Analyzing a dream does take time. And I think intuitive psyche is very important when working with dreams. Unfortunately, so many are stuck in concrete assessments of life and the world. This is very true in the academic world, where Jung's work has been given little attention. Though, I have recently seen online that some institutions are offering degrees in Jungian Psychology and Archetypal Studies. So, some progress there.

Yes, I have observed your often indicating the need for physical health. And it is good, for enough cannot be said on how important it is for us, especially as we age.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53, USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} January 13, 2020

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