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Dream Analysis/Interpretation by Dream Analyst Gerald Gifford
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Re: Recent Dream

Gerald,

Thank you for taking the time to elucidate the formation of this site/board. Much of what you divulged I managed to discover by poking around the sites to the utmost of my ability prior to posting. Its a habit (good/bad?) of mine to obsess-over-the-source, so to speak.

The fact that the site was sponsored by your company, and that you were transparent about who you are, was the reason I was willing to post here at all. There was an honesty and such-ness to the presentation which piqued my curiosity. It is the same directness and confidence in the message which others with "the glow," as I call it, seem to possess. You look at their eyes, listen to the soft yet firmness of their words and the unhurried but measured cadence of their speech, and you can just tell. Alan Watts, Jack Kornfield, Mingyur Rinpoche, etc. People who seem glad always, and are un-apologetically direct.

The information you presented was sound, and lined up with my own research. As well as my own experience.

Jung has constantly reoccurred as a figure in my life. High-school through last-year, he would be re-presented at different stages of my development and by people with varying proficiencies, all of which I respected in different ways. I am eternally grateful to those who gave of themselves and added to my experience, as I truly believe it has led to a fuller more complete life.

Something Terrance McKenna said when he interviewed Ram Dass in Prague, was (paraphrased, the ol' memory ain't eidetic, unfortunately) "of all the people who could have had the psychedelic experience and expand, it happened to me, and I find that fascinating." Whatever winds up happening in life, I'm thrilled I got to have the experience I did, from the people I have.

At any rate, thank you again for sharing your time to peer at my unconscious. It is most appreciated.

Respectfully,

I_B

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34 & M & MD

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes 5/4/2020

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Synchronicity

Re: Recent Dream

Iam bot,
I have interpreted the first two dreams and although I sense themes related to feminine energies in both it was he grade school dreams that left me to believe indeed there are early life issues related to proper required {or lack of} emotion nourishment that are lacking in your life. The question I have has to do with the relationship with your mother. But also childhood in general. The issues related to early life are now becoming an obstacle in living a balanced life emotionally. The 5th grade dream speaks to indoctrination which would be early life programming. This is what controls you, governs your adult life. The adults that get the injections were the original children. You as a child governed by the 'injections' as an adult. I'll post my interpretation of the first two dreams so you can get an idea of the associations in those dreams in their own but different images say the same thing as the 5th grade dream. let me know your thoughts after reading what I have provided. That usually provides new insights since all personal info helps with what your conscious life is dealing with emotionally.

First Dream
Lately, I have dreamt of an old house in the woods. There is a woman there, I know her, but I don't; she is not a person from my life, specifically, and she wants me to stay. Her boyfriend lets me come and go, but I do not know him, or want to. The house seems disheveled and disorganized. I'm eager to leave the house, but my car is blocked in when I try to go. I'm able to 3-point-park my way out of the spot, but it is tight. Additionally, it always feels like I have left something of mine in the house.


The house is you and being old points to past emotional experiences or/and experiences from your past that have left a mark. Having left a mark would indicate strong emotional experiences that either influence or govern your psyche which is where the woods or forest would come into play.
Woods often symbolize unconscious energies which, in association with the old house {past emotional experiences} could point to the strong influence the experiences possess in your adult life. You are unconsciously driven in your attitudes, how you think and feel and are strongly influenced by these experiences. Woods or forest also are symbols for transitional phases in life. Are you in transition in some aspect of your life? Apply this to the other possibilities I have noted.

The woman known but not known and not specifically a person in your life may represent anima aspects that you are unaware of {in the dark, your unconscious}. I look at a generic female figure in a man’s dream as strong emotional energies. Wanting to stay points to the strength of these energies and the past experiences that produced them.

Her boyfriend represents energies that persist in your unconscious which in your adult life are repetitive. Repetitive in your life, emotionally. You may tend to do the same thing over and again without realizing you are doing it. The underlying unconscious governing forces/energies cause you to be this way. Not wanting to know him would point to repressing or ignoring the energies/experiences.

A disheveled and disorganized house is you. Not your whole life but some aspect of your life. You are eager to get away from this way of thinking or acting, or from literal repetitive actions in your waking life. This could cause anxieties in your life.

Cars point to directions in life you wish/need to go. This aspect is blocked in by the emotional energies. Three point parking is going in a forward direction but then needing to back up to get out of the situation. This is again you in your actions in association with the emotional energies. Being tight may point to being in a precarious situation {look to repetitive experiences in your waking life}.





Second Dream
I'm back in the Navy. When I was in the Navy, I was an icon of preparedness. I mustered 15 minutes early, without fail (if you're not early, you're late), and I was extremely meticulous over both my barrack cleanliness, and my seabag when my squadron would go on detachments. However, in the dream, I find out about being on the ship the night before I have to. I'm away from my barracks so I cannot properly pack my seabag. I arrive on the ship without my equipment, or with a lot less of it than I would need. I arrive late. I am dreading being on the ship again, it feels like I will be bored to tears. I am not looking forward to being so bored.

Dream Analyzed
Back in the Navy symbolizes your need for organization, discipline and structure in your life {as you state}. The muster part is bringing together energies which may point to collective energies that govern your psyche {energies from your old house dream}. The number 15 would be symbolic of the physical life {1+5=6 which is symbolic of the physical self}. Being early is from the beginning which again points to early life programming. Not early is being late is a Navy expression but could also point to early life associations as well. Look also to replacement values in this statement {compensation-doing the opposite}. Look at early life to determine which fits. It is from here you now act out the need to be early, disciplined and organized.

Barracks may suggest restrictive aspects. Cleanliness would point to emotional negative energies. Perhaps your need to be ‘early’ puts restrictions on other important aspects in life. The seabag is a sailor’s trunk which indicates issues and feelings that you have not dealt with. There is a disconnection because of these issues {there is a thing called detachment disorder}.

The ship may be an important symbol. A ship is a feminine symbol and could represent the mother, or some ‘other’ woman {more than one when it comes to relationships} or women in general. It is a vessel {emotions-attitudes-belief system} you ‘attach’ your being to. Night is a common symbol for the unconscious, Before there were unconscious energies there were conscious experiences. Before you have to is earlier than before, you are compelled to act, think in a specific way. Programmed from early life and acted out in adult life.

Away from your barracks. Barracks are also buildings and buildings are symbolic of the dreamer {like a house}. The seabag is again issues in your life and not able to pack the seabag may indicate not accessing unconscious emotional energies {repressing or ignoring them}. I see this as pointing to governing emotional energies you are either unaware of or ignore due to the emotional pain.

Arriving at your ship without your equipment suggests you are lacking certain early life aspects required to be whole in adult life. If not lacking totally then not having enough of it {would this fit your childhood in relationship with parents/family/community?}. Arriving late may indicate feelings of being unready, unworthy, or unsupported in your current circumstances. The first would be what caused the latter.

Dreading to be on the ship again may point to interactions with persons or aspects related to the ship {feminine symbol}. Pain is involved {tears} with a release of emotions being necessary {what the dream is focused on for healing the issues}. Being bored is being disinterested and due to the experiences you are dealing with they may cause a disinterest or uninterested in things that normally you would be. Early life relationships may be the cause for such disinterest.

Summary
As I stated in my opening statement I can only read the outline of emotional energies and what we have thus far points to a detachment from ordinary feelings due to a lack of early life programming {my assessment}. A common image in the two dreams are feminine energies {woman in first dream, ship in this one}. My first impulse is for you to look at the mother relationship and then relationships with women in your adult life. I’ll look at the next dream to see if there are other indications that fit with this theme.

Look forward to your response.
Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: Recent Dream

I'd say I've been "in transition" since 2015, in one form or another. Basing out and establishing myself hasn't been something I've been able to do. Mainly as a result of constant in-and-out of relationships. One in particular has been a bit of a quandary for me for the past three years. I recently moved from one place to another, one job to another. The job followed the move, not the other way around.

With regard to early childhood conditioning, I have looked closely at that myself, and I do believe there is some merit to it. Insofar as my relationship to my mother, I've always loved her, and she is a terrific Mom. On the other hand, I haven't RESPECTED her. Not in the sense that I didn't treat her with respect, or respect her station as my Mother, but the way you might respect the opinion of a peer, for example. She was always passionate about her viewpoints or the direction she would want me to go, but rarely did I see eye-to-eye with any of them, and she could not help me see. Thus the lack of respect.

Other early childhood things: it was a reoccurring theme that worth was determined by external factors:

-You're not a good student unless you're given high marks
-You aren't good at sports unless you win
-Coming in 1st place in whatever you do is good
-Knowing the RIGHT answer is good - the implication being that there IS always a right answer and that things aren't nuanced
-Only God/Jesus can grant salvation, and God/Jesus were built up as external authority figures (as conveyed in a Catholic upbringing), vs something you can tap into within yourself
-Your career is a large part of your worth, and you need to know, early, what that is
-You NEED a job, because you won't make money on your own

These are things which, logically and emotionally, I'm now able to see the untruth of. They are also not things my parents slapped me in a room and tried to beat into me, it was just the way they were raised. My parents were excellent. Still are. However, a lot of good people do unhelpful things and impose unhelpful solutions on others in the pursuit of "what is right."

I went to school in an area where I was the minority. I was a calm, smart, reasonable kid, and for this I was picked on by my peer groups. Derided by them to the extent that I was afraid of being considered stupid for having a different opinion than the rest of them. That, coupled with only being considered "smart" if my grades were high (a lot of grades focused on "behavior" and were basically arbitrary), made me develop something of a complex wherein I didn't think I was good at much of anything unless everyone else told me I was.

The very first relationship I ever had, I grappled with a newfound confidence I had vs a strong relationship which suffered because of it. Ever since that relationship, throwing myself into something longterm has been very difficult. I was married from 2013-2016, and in the last couple of years I was pushing her away. It wasn't perfect, it was probably hasty getting into it as I did, but my own issues pervaded the situation. Ever since then I have been working to overcome them, but that has created a dilemma for me which is "is this a relationship I SHOULD be sustaining, is this a relationship I WANT to be in vs. are these my problems causing strife where it doesn't need to exist; am I being too selfish, or is my mind muddled, etc." and a lot of that has revolved around me being unsatisfied or uninspired, sexually. I have met women I've been strongly drawn towards, but they have either rejected me, I wasn't able to bring myself to continue pursuit, or I didn't feel worthy. On the other hand, I've had partners where things on the surface are perfect, and they're wonderful/attractive people by any objective definition, but I haven't been excited for the passionate side of the relationship. It has put me in a position where I always doubt my own feelings, and I don't want to be a BAD GUY, so I put myself through more in relationships, I think, than most.

Curious to see what else you see in the remaining dreams.

I_B

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34 & M & MD

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} 5/6/2020

Re: Recent Dream

I’ll look at the other dreams Sunday {work day tomorrow, 10 hours in Orlando}. In this post I will address your response and will provide a better detailed response Sunday when I will have more time to put together what you provided and my analysis.

Looking at your response, the dreams and my analysis my sense the dreams are addressing energies from your early childhood {old house} and related to the feminine {your mother} seems to be subject matter of these dreams. Surmising it is your mother would be from the dream language and my analysis, ‘ A ship is a feminine symbol and could represent the mother, or some ‘other’ woman {more than one when it comes to relationships} or women in general. ‘. And the result being in and out of relationships something that came through in the first dream with the dream language. Look at the various relationships and see what, or what not, they had in common that would fit with your mother relationship. My mention of opposites when {Look also to replacement values in this statement {compensation-doing the opposite} so look at women who are opposites to your mother.

My analysis: Her boyfriend represents energies that persist in your unconscious which in your adult life are repetitive. Repetitive in your life, emotionally. You may tend to do the same thing over and again without realizing you are doing it. The underlying unconscious governing forces/energies cause you to be this way. Not wanting to know him would point to repressing or ignoring the energies/experiences.

From one relationship to another as a result of the relationship with your mother. And one job to another. Your lack of respect for your mother may have produced emotional energies to do with respect for your own inner feminine which would cause a need for multiple relationships/jobs {I had a similar issue but it was due to the non relationship with my father}. Your response “it was just the way they were raised” is exactly how strong emotional energies guide if not control later adult life. ‘Coming in first place’’ was their attitude and that went against your world view {why you have that view would be something to explore in future dreams}. That may be what the dream language and its application was pointing to, ‘Arriving late may indicate feelings of being unready, unworthy, or unsupported in your current circumstances. The first would be what caused the latter.’

From your response and what went against your true self was your parents emphasis on external factors {are you an introvert personality?}. Feelings of self worth are likely related to the constant exposure to your parents insistence of coming in first place. Winning was their value system but yours was and is different. That is where the conflict lies and trying and needing to reconcile that is where the real conflict is now.

If you can provide more info about the relationships and how they contrast to your early life, especially with your mother, that may help in determining in what ways they go together. One has to do with the other. Are you seeking ‘your mother’ in the relationships or opposites to who she was? And what are your values if not always being first, a winner?

I need time more to concentrate on your response than I have at the moment. As usual my outline of the emotional energies seem to be correct {not self grads on my part but a fact that when analyzing dreams using Jung an experienced analyst will usually do well}. A cursory look at the other dreams seem to be pointing to something deeper that may need exploration. “Dream #3, about the demon hordes, I shared with my girlfriend” could be pointing to deep seeded issues beyond just a mother relationship.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: Recent Dream

Iam bot,
Will look at other dreams after this post. But a couple of questions on this response you posted. You stated about your marriage you were working to overcome your own issues that pervaded the situation. Can you elaborate on what the issues were/are? Being aware of such issues is a step in reconciling them, when you understand where they began or what prompted them. Are you aware of why you were unsatisfied or uninspired sexually? Assuming it was due to your own issues are there reasons you can think of that would cause that to be true? Mother issues are a possibility but penning what aspect of such a relationship would affect you sexually is important.

Some personal context. I had issues with relationships all through my adult life. Married to three intelligent, wonderful women I was unable to stay in them. I was always looking for something more and sex was my addiction. Wen I discovered Jungian psyche and began my inner journey {psychologically} I began to realize two important things. One I was doing the same thing as my father. Multiply relationships. And what I was looking for was the love and acceptance I never received from him. I tried up into my late 30s to get close to him {he abandoned my other and 4 children when I was 6 and never was any part of my life}. But he was so selfish and self centered it never was going to work. From my dream work I see a lot of the same or similar issues from childhood where either or both parents did not do a good job of parenting {or worse as in my case}. Realizing from Jungian psych that we are products of our early life environment I have learned my issues were directly related to my non relationship with my father. Doesn't take a lot to understand that, common sense psyche tells us childhood experiences/influences are the foundations to who we become in adulthood. Looking for love in all the wrong places, love never received as a child.

From the limited info I have from your childhood there does seem to be mother issues. You had 'good' parents but seems not as good as they should have been. I understand from the list of external factors what they expected from you. It must be internal factors that were lacking. Like showing love in a genuine way. Children sense what is genuine and what is not. Have you explored what the internal factors were/are? That is what your dreams are attempting to help you resolve.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: Recent Dream

Iam bot,
Your 'in school again' dream interpreted.

I am in school again. However, I always begin in medias res. It is brought to my attention, with naught but a couple of weeks remaining in the semester, that I have a class I have not attended at all, or done any of the work from. This baffles me, as I would not sign up for something, never do it, and be surprised by its existence only weeks before I need to complete it. This class is usually a literature course of some sort. I never ascertain whether the option to drop it is still there, or if not drop it, audit it, because I don't want my grade to suffer because I couldn't possibly do what I need to in time.

I am back in school again
-Being in school signifies feelings of inadequacy and childhood insecurities that have never been resolved. Being back in school suggests those issues remain unresolved

However, I always begin in medias res. It is brought to my attention, with naught but a couple of weeks remaining in the semester, that I have a class I have not attended at all, or done any of the work from.
-not sure what is meant by medias res, assume it has to do with a particular class. The phrase it self means ‘to start your story in the middle of things’.
-class you have not attended, or done any of the work from-not attending a class may symbolize your anxieties and fear of failing. More work is needed to resolve those issues

This baffles me, as I would not sign up for something, never do it, and be surprised by its existence only weeks before I need to complete it.
-unconsciously driven not to be a part of something you lack self confidence in. Feelings of being incomplete emotionally

This class is usually a literature course of some sort.
-what is real and what is perceived. This is how we live and see life. Consciously we perceive life that fits the personality requirements. Unconsciously we are in many ways quite different and driven by unconscious energies

I never ascertain whether the option to drop it is still there, or if not drop it, audit it, because I don't want my grade to suffer because I couldn't possibly do what I need to in time.
-not sure of yourself, a need to investigate why {the dream requirement} dues to pressures in early life to be a winner, unable to abide by those demands.

This dream is likely during a time in your life where such issues are at the forefront. Something during that period that stimulated the past and the issues related to the current experience. Unconscious energies are constantly showing themselves in everyday life and when there is an experience where emotional issues related to foundational conflicts it is common to dream about the issues {in the metaphorical language of dreams}.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: Recent Dream

Iam bot,
Here is my analysis of your 5ft grade dream.

#1 - I had this dream in 5th grade. The dream was that my school was an indoctrination center. I didn't have those words for it, then, but that is what was going on. They were forcing the students to take injections, and once you took the injection, they controlled your mind. "They," whoever that is. The adults is what I thought at the time, but now I know that in the dream it wasn't just adults who could force you were the ones who were behind it. Those adults had also gotten the injections.

Dreams not only reflect unconscious energies, they also reflect reality. At the age of 10 {5fth grade} you would not fully understand life. But you do know your environment, intuitively {as provided by nature}. You do not have the words for what you are experiencing in your family environment but unconsciously you know {again, a natural aspect of the psych}. The injections are your experiences from family, environment. Parents are the controlling agents. The adults. And just like yourself as an adult there is something behind the actions of your parents, as adults who had their own childhood experiences that formed who they became.

From the same dream the adult is you. To remember a dream from the fifth grade may indicate a memorable experience from that age. Not having the words for the indoctrination would reflect being unconscious of your indoctrination {are some if not most aspects of it}. What is going on is who you have become as an adult as a result of your childhood indoctrination. The injections are the emotional experiences that possess strong emotional energies. If you should have to name what dreams are about it is the emotions, emotional energies of the dreamer. It is not just the adults {parents} that controlled your mind but the emotional energies as an adult that still control your mind. The result of the injections/childhood experiences.

End of analysis of dream

As for your comments about the dream. “I was able to sleep entirely through my classes but still retain all of the information I was supposed to learn.” That is the power of the dream, sleeping with the attainment of knowledge you were supposed to learn from family and environment {and the archetypal energies you were born with}. Not having had all you required is why you retain the knowledge. The dream is in a way compensating for what is missing.

“In fact sleeping through class what what clued me in to there being entities that wanted to inject things into us for control.”
Sleeping through class is dreaming. Dreams are clues to what is out of out of balance psychologically. The entities are those things that are out of balance.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: Recent Dream

Iam bot,

Let me restate my abilities to analyze dreams. Lacking personal information about the dreamer I am only able to provide an outline of emotional energies from a dream. All dreams are focusing on both the foundational ground from which the life evolves as well as emotional energies that stem from recent experiences. I can not, lacking personal info, provide much about the recent experiences. If in a dream there is a quarrel with the boss an outline of the energies would be an expression of negative energies related to an authoritative person, from early life and probably in current life. Also the authoritative side of your personality. The authoritative aspect from early life and authoritative side of your personality I would be able to provide insights to. But the authoritative person in your current life I would not likely to do so. In short, I may be able to open your eyes to the childhood energies but the dream is also addressing current issues also. Only you can name what those are.

Dream
#2 - I had this dream in 9th grade. There was a pristine office building, but there were no people there. There did not seem to be anyone manning the cubicles, computers, or general office upkeep. It was empty but it was spotless, immaculate, even. I went deep into it, and when I got to the heart of the office building, it seemed to be a sort of research facility, and I knew, then, that there was something which was supposed to be there deep in the research facility.

However, when I arrived where I knew the deepest part of the building was, there was nothing there, and the pedestal it was supposed to be on seemed corrupted somehow.

On my way out of the building, suddenly it was no longer immaculate. It was overgrown with vines, living plants which were not friendly. The were oozing, they were aggressive, and I knew to stay away from them. I had to cut my way through them before I was able to get back to the lobby. And the lobby was like the rest of the building: covered in bile, vines, and it looked like you might imagine it would look with no people to tend to it. Only it was beyond filthy, it was alive with evil purpose. I woke up.
---------------------

As for this dream. Not needing to break it down I see this. Being from the time you were in the 9th grade and an adolescent I see the dream as probing life as you wish it were. The building is you and being pristine would be primordial energies you were born with {a need for love and nourishment during formative years}. We are all governed by the archetypal energies, they are there in all of us. An office building would be a work in progress. Your life at age 13 is empty of a lot of those requirements but you are also still in the stages of development where a positive mindset is prevalent. When you get to the depths there is an examination of the realities. There is nothing there, something important is lacking. On the way out {of childhood} you realize the truth. The outside is not pristine at all. You know there is something not right but at this age you may not {probably not} dwell on what it is.

I do sense also the dream is addressing issues related to actual experiences at that age. A lobby indicates that you are trying to make something known. This may point to an experience at this age you have forgotten or repressed. Evil denotes a repressed and/or forbidden aspect of yourself. Or an experience. Either way the dream is focusing on something negative when you were in the 9th grade. Look at family experiences first {overall feelings about childhood perhaps}.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: Recent Dream

Good afternoon, Gerald,

Thank you for your efforts in analyzing my dreams and presenting your interpretation. I apologize for my absence in response, my weekends are the time to stay connected to my people, and this one in particular required a goodly portion of my attention and energy. This response, also (editing having finished it) is something I've been chipping away at in five minutes increments throughout work, today. I'm a system administrator, though, so you know we have time in between programs loading (is my excuse, that is, hah).

Fun news: the universe gave me a *wink wink nudge nudge* moment. I'll share real quick before I dive into responses.

Sunday was beautiful. After I came back from the grocery store, with my tab of 94.49, which tickled me as it was yet another inversion/reflection popping up in my life, I had to deal with a confrontation with my roommate. The details are not important, suffice to say it could have been quite the tiff, but instead it resulted in my roommate looking at and speaking to me with a renewed respect and listening with rapt interest. Given the wonderful weather and amiable outcome between my friend and I, I thought to myself "I'd like to take a stroll, listen to Approaching Nirvana, find some nice shade and re-read The Art of Peace by M.Ueshiba."

So I do, and it is as great as I think it would be, then, on a lark, I start to walk around the nearby Elementary School since its just a nice day, school is obviously closed, and I'm exploring. I find one of those take-a-book-leave-a-book things. I want kids one day, and I want them to have a strong foundation, so I think "why not, I'll take a look." I rummage through and, for lack of a better way to put it, "let my intuition guide my choices." Of the four books I pick (all of which are terrific), I found one in particular called "The Boy, The Mole, The Fox, and The Horse." Which is more or less The Art of Peace but with pictures and for children. Read it immediately, brought me to tears, shared a single page with my best friend, he immediately ordered a copy for his daughter.

Anyway to your posts!...

your parents insistence of coming in first place


I should clarify, my parents did not INSIST I come in first place. They would generally only celebrate the achievement when I did, and that applied to school as well as extracurriculars (you are rewarded for high marks, punished for low ones). Also of some import: I would only receive POINTS for the team when I did. I spent a lot of my childhood playing video games, and high scores were what indicated success. Anything which award a score was a good thing. My Father would, in what I believe to be an attempt to help, tell me other things like "if you lost weight you'd be a much faster swimmer." Which was true, and even at that time I didn't think he was wrong, but at that time I didn't understand how to properly do that and neither did he.

Success story: after high school I started a long undertaking to master nutrition for the sake of weight loss. And insofar as the general populace is concerned, I have. I've managed, without deprivation of any type of food, a fad diet, or any starvation-dieting, to get my bodyfat to a strong 12% (goal = 8-10%, but that'll require a bit more exertion). Protip: the bodybuilding community has known how to do it for a century.

Are you seeking ‘your mother’ in the relationships or opposites to who she was? And what are your values if not always being first


I'm not pursuing my mother, I'm pursuing women with the traits I've evaluated as a good partner. My mother happens to have a lot of those, and I always thought my mother was a pretty lady. My mother lacks the ability to understand me at the level I operate, intellectually, and she says as much all the time ("when you and your Dad get going I have no idea what you're talking about, I can't keep up"). I've always been drawn to the opposite of that, but never labeled it like that. My mother (and women with her traits) are full of love and WANT to understand me, this is important. What I've often found are the women which are drawn most to me, are very like my mother in that way. The women I am drawn to possess the ability to understand me, and in the past I'd lacked the confidence to pursue them and show who I am. This has led to a lot of unrequited romances in my life.

My values are freeing people from fear and protecting innocence from exploitation. Beyond that is just the nuts and bolts of "how." Being someone who can come in first, and excel beyond peers at everything he needs to do, will be someone who is exceptionally good at protecting my people from anything that might threaten them.

-Are they threatened by a big monster? I'll be a bigger, scarier monster.

-Are they threatened by a cunning fighter? I'll train until their art is only one of my options.

-Are they being lied to by a shrewd manipulator? I'll make sure my counter-machinations will be more Machiavellian than theirs.

-Is the Truth being obscured by conflation and confusion? I'll grasp as many theaters of discussion as I need to in order to connect the dots.

-Is the subject matter too complicated and nuanced for most people to understand? I'll read the research over and over until I see it in my sleep and can speak to it as well as the PhDs who wrote it.

I'm a firm believer that people, any people (with mental handicap exceptions), can do whatever they want so long as they tell themselves they can, and they sincerely want it enough. The more dangerous I've seen the world becoming, the sharper I've needed to hone myself. I used to think the idea of being better than people was what I wanted, but it really isn't. I couldn't care less if me and mine could live unmolested in peace.

You stated about your marriage you were working to overcome your own issues that pervaded the situation.

Are you aware of why you were unsatisfied or uninspired sexually?


A combination of factors. At times it is physical - someone is attractive but not my kind of attractive, something about their scent off-puts me, etc. Other times, I can't get excited for my encounter with the person; they don't stimulate me emotionally/intellectually. The issues pervading my marriage were tied to this.

Before I was able to get my hunger under control, both of these caveats to sexual fulfillment did not matter to me. IE - as long as I wasn't repulsed by someone, I could sleep with them, and even if I was not at all attracted, I would still allow some extent of promiscuity. It was very selfish and not right-action. However, it felt like something I needed/couldn't do without. In relationships, outside of them, people I had just met, people I'd look for online, it didn't matter, sex was sex and I was good at getting it via seduction.

It was a form of validating my desirability as a person. In the past I would excuse it as "I just like sex." I haven't done that for years now.

I do sense also the dream is addressing issues related to actual experiences at that age. A lobby indicates that you are trying to make something known. This may point to an experience at this age you have forgotten or repressed. Evil denotes a repressed and/or forbidden aspect of yourself.


I've considered repression for myself, before. Not in this particular instance, in general, I've looked back and thought "is there anything that I came across which was so painful it was blotted from my memory?" I concluded that wasn't the case; my memory is very good, it always has been. I always enjoyed how people were excited and impressed when I could remember things they couldn't, or things in general, and made looking back at things a practice of mine from a young age.

That being said, though, there was something which happened when I was in the 9th grade, something that unnerved me very much, I did not know how to address, and that I ruminated on for several days. Immediately after it happened, my mother tried to chat with me about it, but she didn't know how to go about it, and it was very awkward. I shut the conversation down, and told myself "this isn't a big deal, people don't worry about this stuff."

Since at that time I thought dreams were simply a result of impressions made from the stuff you see and do ("I watched Ninja Turtles so I dream about Ninja Turtles" "I'm nervous about the championship swim meet tomorrow so I dream about having gone to that race and done poorly" etc), and had never considered that the dream would be, for lack of a better word, allegorical. Following that dream, I had had another shortly after which made a much bigger impression on me in 9th grade, but all I can remember now is descending a spiral staircase within a dark structure made of large stones -- not being forced, but doing so of my own volition. Shortly thereafter I underwent some changes in what I was able to do in my life. Without going into detail, I'll say new doors I wish, now, were not opened became open.

The event which happened wasn't violent/cruel towards me, but it forced me to grapple with something I wasn't prepared to. It was also something I believed I knew SOMETHING about, but as it turns out I didn't.

Your wording on exiting childhood, the fact that the evil came in the form of plants, and certain concerns I remember from my [even younger] childhood which was a big concern of mine, meshed with what my issues have been with regard to intimacy, are making a great deal more sense now. I do believe I understand, now, what this particular dream was telling me. Its appropriate to understand that, now, when my spiritual practice, alone, is enabling me to look at the issues in my life with courage and resolve.

Thank you for that insight. I'm especially curious what you make of the final dream.

Respectfully,

I_B

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34 & M & MD

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes - 5/7/2020

Re: Recent Dream

aim bot,
I misunderstood your list of external factors. But with what you state in this post there does seem to be mother issues that need examination. Specifically how this statement plays into your choice of women; "My mother lacks the ability to understand me at the level I operate, intellectually, and she says as much all the time ("when you and your Dad get going I have no idea what you're talking about, I can't keep up")."


You state, "I'm not pursuing my mother, I'm pursuing women with the traits I've evaluated as a good partner." In light of the above statement how does your impression of your mother affect your choice in relationships? And the unrequited romances you noted. Why so many? I suggest you look deeper into your childhood experiences involving your mother and other female adults to determine why you make choices that usually turn out bad. Is it the women or you?

Note: I went through three marriages {to three good women} as well as many other relationships. My need for that was grounded in my lack of a father-son relationship where my father was never there, never showed love or even attention. I was looking to fill the void by going through many relationships trying to compensate what i lacked from childhood. Also besides my father being a royal SOB he was also a 'womanizer' {truck driver who because of his short height had to prove himself}. I was following in his footsteps, utilizing 'learned' patterns learned as a child {but not in relationship with my son to whom I bestowed the fence business I started 42 years ago}. We all unconsciously possess learned patterns of behavior most which come from childhood. In conclusion I was unconsciously pursuing my father's pattern of behavior.
{This is where I differ from Jung. He saw later life experiences more important than childhood experiences in development of neurosis. Not that I can question his concepts, I come o my conclusions from personal experience, from early life as well as in working with dreams at my Dream Forum}.

This statement from your response puzzles me; "as long as I wasn't repulsed by someone, I could sleep with them". Repulsion is a strong statement and usually has a deep seeded reason for it. There seems to be a superficial response in your relationships, ie something about their scent off-puts me and, I can't get excited for my encounter with the person; they don't stimulate me emotionally/intellectually. Yet you engage in a relationship {I assume primarily sexual}. Were/are you in some way compensating in these actions?

Note: In my many relationships my primary desire was to please/satisfy my partner, the woman. That was likely a response to my father never being a provider when my mother needed it. I was compensating what I lacked from childhood, seeing how my father treated my mother and unconsciously needed to fulfill what he couldn't/wouldn't do.

Then there is this which demonstrates you know your actions were conscious. "It was very selfish and not right-action. However, it felt like something I needed/couldn't do without." Felt like something you needed/couldn't do without. Do you know the answer to why this is {needed/couldn't do without}? In my structured theory on psyche development we all act/react to life because of unconscious motivating energies. Beyond the archetypal energies we are born with what is learned in early life determines our primary personality, attitudes and mindset in later life. What I know about you personally is very limited {some misinterpreted} so I can only presume to know answers to why you have had a life very similar to mine but probably due to a different parent relationship {my knowledge about that being too limited to provide a true assessment}. It may not be entirely related to your mother relationship but doubtlessly some of it being so.

As stated we had shared likes, we both 'just liked sex'. But we engaged in relationships for other reasons {you haven't done that in a while} thus begging the question what are they? The underlying motivations is what I look for in any action. Some say it 'just is that way' but I know better {personal belief}. I have seen too many 'coincidences' of actions related to underlying childhood experiences {including my own} that fit with later life actions. And most explain the actions especially when you live by a belief system where the unconscious is more active in everyday life than realized. In using Jungian psyche I discovered my primary underlying motivations {which I have discussed} and was able to make corrections.

Dreams are a tool for self discovery. The question for you is what are your motivations? Look to childhood for answers and compare those experiences with your attitudes as an adult. We have discussed some of the possibilities but with so little knowledge of personal info I am limited in offering more than I have.

I'll look at your last dream and provide a response.

Jerry



Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: Recent Dream

Gerald,

I thought I would mention that last night I had another dream where there was an injection present. It was by an old, disgusting couple who had told me that they were going to make me a part of their relationship. I remember saying to them in the dream "I do not want any part of this" and they tell me that it isn't up to me, and that they have just the thing.

"Just the thing" happened to be another needle with some liquid in it. However, as they're inside of a fast food restaurant (in my dream I thought it was a McDonalds but could've been anything), they set one of the needles down on a table and go to order. They seem to be mincing over what it is they'd like to order. It is an old fat man and a old fat woman. I casually walk in, stop by the table they set the needle on, and take it.

As casually as I walk in, I then walk right back out, needle in tow. I think "I should examine this and figure out how they intended to control me with it." From there I go to a community center and interact with a number of young people. The needle is no longer present in the dream, and the couple doesn't make a re-appearance.

I'm not asking for an interpretation of this dream, because I think I know what it means. However, I'm still interested in what you would have to say about my initial 3rd dream. Just thought you'd find it interesting.

Respectfully,

Iam_bot

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34 & M & MD

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

Re: Recent Dream

Iam bot,
Here is my interpretation of the images and actions from your dream. Much of it is self explanatory {in line with what we have discussed}. I'll go back and look at past dreams you have posted and provide more insights as related to this dream. From this dream I do see emotional energies {we have discussed} as having control over your emotional life.
I'll provide more after examining them together.

Interpretation of images and actions
It was by an old, disgusting couple who had told me that they were going to make me a part of their relationship. I remember saying to them in the dream "I do not want any part of this" and they tell me that it isn't up to me, and that they have just the thing.
-Old disgusting couple-past emotional energie causing you to be someone you're not in association with relationships
-I do not want to be a part of this-denial/repressed emotions
-it isn’t up to you-uncontrolled unconscious energies
-they have just the thing-

"Just the thing" happened to be another needle with some liquid in it. However, as they're inside of a fast food restaurant (in my dream I thought it was a McDonalds but could've been anything), they set one of the needles down on a table and go to order. They seem to be mincing over what it is they'd like to order. It is an old fat man and a old fat woman. I casually walk in, stop by the table they set the needle on, and take it.
-another needle with some liquid in it-sexual engagement/painful emotional energies that need confronting
-inside fast food restaurant/McDonalds-introspection/catering to your emotions related to emotional nourishment/unhealthy actions related to emotional nourishment
-set one needle down on table and go to order- accommodating to emotional energies
-mincing over what it is they’d like to order-powerful feminine emotional energies
-old fat man and old fat lady-over indulgence /assertive to energies, passive to actions
-I casually walk in, stop by the table they set the needle on, and take it- spontaneously abiding by unconscious emotional energies

As casually as I walk in, I then walk right back out, needle in tow. I think "I should examine this and figure out how they intended to control me with it." From there I go to a community center and interact with a number of young people. The needle is no longer present in the dream, and the couple doesn't make a re-appearance.
-As casually as I walk in, I then walk right back out, needle in tow-inward emotional energies, outward direction in life abiding by inner energies
-I think "I should examine this and figure out how they intended to control me with it."-trapped by deliberate actions/controlled by emotional energies
-From there I go to a community center and interact with a number of young people-life evolving around relationships complying with early life learning

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl


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