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Ex’s dream

Hi, I was married for 30 years and we split up 2 years ago...six months ago he decided he wants to get back together....I have not made a decision yet....this morning he said he had this dream last night....anyone have a clue what it means?

I’m posting what he wrote to me below:

I had a dream about you last night we ran into each other at a grocery store , you were telling me you were looking the one-bedroom apartment and you couldn't find any you said you had to talk to me and I said let me take care of a couple of things and we'll talk we ended up in one bedroom apartment sleeping together then I woke up

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59/F/NJ

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} No

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Re: Ex’s dream

Pixeltwistr,
My sense of the dream is your ex has found himself in an undesirable physical and emotional position and needs to reconcile opposing emotions. On one hand he seeks personal freedom but emotionally he is dependent on feminine intimacy {being unconsciously driven by inner emotional energies}. In his current position he finds himself alone in his own ego solitude which is counter to the inner emotional energies. In other words he is dependent on having a woman for emotional support and without it he is unable to be in control of his life. Likely he either was very dependent on his mother or, if she did not provide emotional nourishment as a child he needs to compensate for that as an adult {as an adult looking for what was lacking as a child}. He is alone and lost.

Look at his childhood and determine his relationship with his mother. Women in marriage are often substitutes for the mother either as counterparts to their real mother or as fulfilling what was not provided by their mother as a child. You are the substitute 'mother' and emotionally he is dependent on you as he was on his mother in childhood, or as a replacement for the emotional nourishment that should have been given by his mother.

Below is my interpretation of the images and actions from his dream {my norm in analyzing a dream}. Remember this is his dream and it is about his emotional energies. This page will provide insights in my concepts on analyzing dreams Concepts For Analyzing Dreams. In his dream you are representative of his emotional energies and the need to reconcile the opposing emotions he is experiencing in his life {at the time of the dream}. He is as interested in {or in need of} reconciling those emotions than he is in reconciling what was wrong in the marriage {which in itself is related to childhood/mother relationship}.

Interpretation of Images/Actions/Symbols

dream about ex spouse {female}
-undesirable emotional/physical experience
--ex represents his current life is bringing out similar feelings he felt during a past relationship

ran into each other
-confronting an emotional fear

at a grocery store
-emotional/physical need that you are currently lacking in your life

you were telling me you were looking the one-bedroom apartment
-you were telling me-revealing emotional energies

looking for
-seeking

one bedroom apartment
-ego solitude/a part of his psyche makeup

you couldn't find any
-self discovery

you said you had to talk to me
-inner communication with emotions

I said let me take care of a couple of things
-a need to take control of emotional/physical life

and we'll talk
-reconciling emotions

we ended up in one bedroom apartment
-realizing ego position {unconsciously}

sleeping together
-uniting opposing emotions


Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: Ex’s dream

Thank you so much...I understand some of what you said....I’ll need to reread it a few times to completely get it...
Our split was very sudden and unexpected and for the first year and a half he didn’t speak to me at all...even when I reached out to him.....I have my suspicions he may have been seeing someone else durring that time but he insists he wasn’t and I have no way of knowing for sure....just a feeling...
About six months ago his situation changed...I have no idea why at all ...all I know is he suddenly was broke and moving in with our daughter in NC, he lived in wa state at the time we split up.....so after he got to her place he started messaging me on Facebook which is kind of significant because he never was a computer person and when we split he didn’t even know how to turn one on let alone how to use fb so he must have really wanted to reach me.....so he starts telling me he wants me back but it wasn’t a question it was like I’m comming to get you....and I said no we had lots to talk about before I’d ever consider going back....he kept talking to me these past six months about once a week....then about 3 weeks ago my daughter suddenly decided she was moving to Georgia with a friend leaving the ex in NC alone....all along I have been telling him he has to come to jersey where I am if he wants to talk because he owes me that much effort....he said he was trying...he didn’t have a car yet etc....and when my daughter left he picked up and moved to Puerto Rico where his family is.....so I just kind of figured that was his answer to wether he was comming here or not but then he sends me this message describing this dream and I don’t know what he’s thinking....
I appreciate your help
Thank you

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59/F/NJ

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Re: Ex’s dream

Pixeltwistr,
Thanks for the response and added info. The info provides possible insights to his mind and thinking.

An important aspect about dreams is the dreamer's dream is about that person's emotional energies and any other known person is in relationship to the dreamer or/and aspects about that person the dreamer identifies with. The dream is not about that other person but is in relationship to the dreamer. Aspects of that person would be aspects of the dreamer, that person could/would represent the dreamer. With this you in the dream would not only be a literal application but likely represent his anima. You are him not only in a literal sense {one bedroom apartment, the two of you being alone} but metaphorically {which means the same as}.
Keep this in mind as I analyze/interpret the dream images/actions/symbols. There would be a literal application as well as symbolic.

I performed an in-depth analysis of the dream using the info you provided. But because it gets complicated I will only list the major points I believe the dream is addressing {in its primarily symbolic language}.

-running into each other-opposing emotional energies

--grocery store-emotionally and mentally strained and needing emotional nourishment

--you were telling me-inner communication with his anima

-- looking for-looking for what is lacking

--one bedroom apartment- A bedroom represents aspects that are kept private and hidden as well as sexual nature and intimate relations.
----one-solitude or loneliness as well as originality {foundations for personality and attitudes}
----apartment-major aspect of the dreamer’s life. Also refers to financial or/and emotional state

--you couldn't find any-can’t find what is lacking in emotional/physical life

--you said you had to talk to me-a literal application as well inner communication with himself and his emotions

--I said let me take care of a couple of things-[he is working on two aspects of the emotional energies {current issues as well as childhood issues

--and we'll talk-a need to understand his inner issues {the function of dreams is to resolve emotional/physical issues}

-we ended up in one bedroom apartment sleeping together-his desire to reunite/reconcile
---Sleeping with someone in a non sexual manner represents avoiding some issue or situation that is being symbolized by the person
---sleeping also denotes peace of mind. He is seeking ways to better his situation and finding peace of mind.


Summary of interpreted images/actions
-opposing emotional energies
-emotionally and mentally strained and needing emotional nourishment
-inner communication with his anima {feminine energies/relationships}
-looking for what is lacking
-private and hidden aspects
-solitude or loneliness as well as originality
-major aspect of the dreamer’s life/financial or/and emotional state
-can’t find what is lacking in emotional/physical life
-literal talking with you as well inner communication with himself
-working on two aspects of the emotional energies-current issues as well as childhood issues
-a need to understand his inner issues to resolve emotional/physical issues
-desire to reunite/reconcile/current issues as well as childhood
-avoiding issued or situations symbolized by the person/literal person
-finding peace of mind

Summary
His current situation puts him in a position of needing emotional/physical/financial nourishment. The dream is attempting to sort through both the current issues as well as his childhood issues {with mother?}. The question is, does he want to reconcile with you because he genuinely cares for you or because of his current negative place in life? The childhood issues are secondary but will help in understanding his thinking.
Caution is needed. From personal experience I found myself in a similar situation at the end of my third marriage. I had similar issues from childhood but with my father. I attempted to reconcile the marriage without reconciling my inner issues and that was a no go. I finally reconciled my inner issues when I discovered Jungian psyche {and ended up in retirement by choice living alone but with 16 rescued cats}.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: Ex’s dream

Thank you so much!
This helped clear things up a bit more!

He had a good relationship with his mother howeve maybe that portion has something to do with the fact that she died suddenly about 15 years ago and his family never told him she was sick because they didn’t think it was serious so she died without him being there...

I have been very closed off and haven’t really let him know what I’m thinking one way or the other through all of this because my biggest question in my head was is he missing me after all this time because he misses me or because his situation has changed....

Thank you so much for taking the time to give me your insights!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59/F/NJ

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} No

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Google

Re: Ex’s dream

Pixeltwistr,
Yes, whether he wants to get back together because he cares or because of his dire position is question that needs to be answered. His actions leading to the divorce may shine light on that. What is really going on in his mind is what the dream is providing but because it is such a short dream there isn't much to go on. But even short dreams can reveal his true emotions. But it is just a part of the puzzle with future dreams revealing even more emotional contents

No doubt he is seeking help because he is dire straights financially and the dream will be dealing with that. His mother's death and the surrounding circumstances could be part of the emotional energies in the dream as well. It does depict a need for emotional nourishment which would likely be on reason to reunite. But that alone isn't telling whether it is just that or much more. Much more is probably the answer. My analysis of his solitude and loneliness are addressing his current situation but it is also likely addressing his 'original' emotional foundations. That is why it is important to understand his relationship with his mother. His attitude toward relationships and women would stem in great part due to the mother relationship {as it would be with a father relationship}. If he is acting out of unconscious stimulus that could reveal why he wanted a divorce as well as why he wants to get back together. Age is important and is not uncommon for marriages to fail in the 50s. It is a stage when reflection, both conscious and unconscious are common. The unconscious foundational energies drive the individual throughout life and when we get to the age when we realize death is a real event the life can change. Whatever is out of balance will come up as points of conflict and the need to achieve balance will be an unconscious drive that direct the unconscious. If he was seeing another woman it could be because there are unmet needs from his childhood. It would less about you and as much as an unconscious need for fulfillment. The other woman would be a 'test' substitute for those needs. If it was another woman the changes in his life 6 months earlier may have been because that relationship failed.

Logic is the antithetical to emotional actions. Going past the dream and his unconscious reasoning for his actions look at what has transpired since the changes 6 months ago. He is penniless and alone and needs emotional nourishment {that is in the dream}. Similar to my experiences I noted the first reaction was to reunite with my wife. It was less about reconciling the differences as it was reconciling the unconscious drives to find emotional nourishment and security. If that is his reasoning {conscious and/or unconscious} then it is not the right reasoning. Getting back together is an attempt to fill his conscious financial situation and not fulfilling the unconscious needs {of emotional nourishment}. And again, knowing his unconscious reasoning {from childhood foundations} would shine light {a very bright one} on which is which.

You are right to insist on taking in person and on your terms and if he can't meet those then that alone may be telling. Thus far he has asked others for help, family members and has yet to be independent. Time is on your side. Let him come to you and if he is really sincere in wanting to reunite hopefully you can determine his true motives. Understanding the unconscious energies related to his dependence on his mother {a good relationship} may help determine his motives. Getting him to talk about his relationship with his mother may provide insights. Does he need a mother or a wife?

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl


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