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A Decision I didn't want to make

(Background)
This year is my senior year in high school. I've had a crush on this guy for a while and we're in the same grade. We don't talk to each other. If we do it's mainly small talk that doesn't last long and we don't talk to each other frequently. Based off of his body language and how he acts, I feel like he likes me too. I've told him that I liked him in the past but he was talking to someone else. They weren't together but I backed off anyway. He never said he liked or didn't like me.

(Dream)
I was in a classroom with some familiar classmates and some of my friends. My best friend doesn't go to the same school as I do, but she was in my dream and I sat by her. We had an assignment to do and my crush sat behind us. I don't remember what was said prior to what he asked next but he wanted me to chose between him and my best friend. He said that if I chose him we could be together, if not we weren't going to be together. My initial thought was why is he being a douche for no reason at all. Hurt, frustrated, and confused, I chose my best friend. Thinking about it now, I don't think that my friendships were at stake. The only thing he said was that I would lose was the chance of us being together. My friend didn't say anything at all during the endeavor and she said nothing after as well. He moved away from us. I think he was just ask upset as I was because I heard sniffing. Towards the end of the class, I realized I either didn't fully read the instructions or misinterpreted them. I thought I was done but I wasn't. I didn't finish before I woke up.

(Minor details that are somewhat confusing/possibly out of place)
In the background at one point, my teacher was on the phone with the principal. He was mad that she didn't report a recent fight but she knew nothing. He told her to do her job angrily before hanging up. An old teacher came in at one point and complimented me I think regarding my looks.(Don't remember)

I think my dream is referencing my need to take action if I want to truly go down the path to be in a relationship with him and my reluctance to face my fears again because I already told him before and I have no clue what other steps to take. I do want to know why I was choosing between him and my best friend. What does my best friend represent? I also want to know if me misinterpreting the instructions to the assignment have anything to do with my understanding of the situation that occurred.
Thank you for you patience and help with my teenage dilemma.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 17, Female, Birmingham AL

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Never posted before

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Google

Re: A Decision I didn't want to make

Anonymous 08,
I'll work on your dream later today. If you read this post before I give my analysis take time to read my Concepts For Analyzing Dreams. It will provide insights to dreams as well as concepts I use when analyzing dreams {primarily Jungian}.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: A Decision I didn't want to make

Anonymous 08,
Will need another day to analyze your dream. Responsibilities kept me busy today {I caretaker 16 rescued cats} and needed to tend to those. Looking at the dream it is likely addressing emotional energies related to the guy you noted from school, that would be a current experience that is on your mind. But with all dreams there are other issues related to 'choices' between positive personal aspects {best friend} and self esteem aspects {your crush}. I'll know more after I analyze the whole dream.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: A Decision I didn't want to make

Anonymous 08,

This is my analysis. My service is free but I do ask for a response to my interpretation/analysis of your dream. Your response may provide more insights to the dream as well as unconscious energies that affect your life.


My sense of the dream is you have an inability to properly express your true emotions. Something is holding you back, not just in this situation with your crush but in general. There are deeper issues that prevent you from expressing your emotions. Those issues would go to foundations, early childhood experiences/influences.

Your use of the word crush suggest a feeling of love and admiration for someone, often someone you know you cannot have a relationship with. Look at the relationship with your father and see if this fits. That relationship may have influenced future choices in relationships.

Expanding on the meaning of the images/actions/symbols {the primary language of dreams is symbol and metaphor}.

Your best friend
Since you did not name your best friend I take this as a positive aspect of yourself, if and when you acknowledge/learn what holds you back from properly expressing yourself. If it was an actual person she would represent aspects you identify with in her. Is she able to better express herself than you? Or/and is she have better skills in making correct choices?

My best friend doesn't go to the same school as I do
This may address her ability to better address herself. Different molds {school} of early learning in life. Sitting by her provides balance.

Assignment with crush sitting behind you-a learning experience related to feelings of anxieties and insecurities. The crush being a male would suggest any insecurities you have may be related to early life experiences with a male of males {fathers are prime possibilities}

he wanted me to choose between him and my best friend-there are emotional energies driven by masculine aspects {your inner masculine self, your animus as well as actual male experiences} that require you make correct choices in life when it comes to relationships. A choice for what would balance your inability to express your emotions. Early life may have not provided you with the tools needed to do this {again look at father relationship}. Do you give in to an infatuation {crush} or do you go with the more important need to understand your true emotions {making choice not purely on emotions when it comes to relationships}

He said that if I chose him we could be together, if not we weren't going to be together-this would involve making correct choices. Understanding what emotional energies that drive you in your choices in life would bring about balance in future abilities in making choices. If you do not learn or understand what drives you {unconsciously} in making choices you may never have the ability to do so. The whole experience with your ‘crush is a learning experience about ‘doubts’. A need to overcome inner doubts due to past experiences that were implanted as a child.

My initial thought was why is he being a douche for no reason at all-an initial thought is intuitive thinking. This would go to the choices I noted above. Doubts exist due to early life programming. Learning to overcome early life emotional deficiencies by using common sense and going with and intuitive mind {which can be developed}

Hurt, frustrated, and confused, I chose my best friend-from your past there is hurt which has caused confusion. Because there is this imbalance you must learn what they are and to utilize your positive qualities to overcome what is lacking in masculine relationships.

My friend didn't say anything at all during the endeavor and she said nothing after as well-not able to make best choices in life due to unconscious energies. Your best side is not available because of negative past experiences in childhood. Your unconscious is silent. You need to understand and learn about the unconscious energies to overcome the obstacles that prevent you from properly expressing yourself and your emotions.

He moved away from us-not allowing the negative masculine aspects to assert control. Overcoming the negative energies from early life and not letting them control your emotions and decisions

I think he was just as upset as I was because I heard sniffing-there is disorder with your animus due to an imbalance in masculine relationships {he was upset}

Towards the end of the class, I realized I either didn't fully read the instructions or misinterpreted them-in the end you are unaware of the unconscious energies that influence/control you and decision making. The instructions are unconscious and because of the negative experiences in childhood there is a distorted view when it comes to masculine relationships.

I thought I was done but I wasn't-There is work to be done in understanding the unconscious energies as well as how to express your emotions {especially in relationships}

Jerry


Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: A Decision I didn't want to make

Wow.
I've always struggled with expressing myself and I didn't expect for it to manifest this way.

I'm not close to my father. He's not a bad person or anything, but I don't talk to him as often as I talk to my mom. If I talk to my dad it's usually a Good Morning/Evening, he'll ask me how my day was, and I'll ask him how work was. I don't talk to either of my parents often really, but I've had more personal conversations with my mom. If there's something I need to give to a parent or if there's something that requires a parent's attention, I have a habit of going to my mom first. I've been working on going to my dad more if there's something that needs to be done or if I need to ask for something, but I haven't fully broken that habit yet. I'm more dependent on my mom than my dad.

My dad has depression and I think that may have affected my relationship with him.

I would say that my best friend is better at expressing herself. I asked her and she claims that I'm better at making decisions than she is, but I would say that she is a lot more headstrong than I am.

I do unfortunately give into infatuation. I haven't been in a romantic relationship yet.

I'm still reading about the animus to get a better understanding.

I unfortunately can't currently think of any situations from my childhood that may have affected.

Thank you so much for this.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 17, Female, Birmingham AL

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Google

Re: A Decision I didn't want to make

Anonymous 08,
Thanks for the response. Not only is it a learning experience for those of us who study dreams, it also allows me to provide more about the dream and what can be done to help you understand it and yourself.

Your relationship with you father, and mother, have helped shape your personality. The father part comes through in the dream and that is likely because not that is a bad father in as much as the less than poor relationship you had with him in early life. As I stated previously we are all shaped by early life experiences/influences and a childhood where there is a lack of adequate expression of love is ingrained in the early psyche development of a child. Individuals manifest the inadequacy in personal ways but we are our childhood as adults. Self expression is important no only in social life but also internally. What holds you back is unconscious energies brought about by childhood life. Choices in life are influenced by what s learned by early life experiences. Infatuation is not unusual in itself but what or you are infatuated with may be associated with early childhood. The boy you have a crush on may be opposite from your dad or there may be commonality. It is not always the case but something to consider.

There is good news about the dream and your father relationship {and mother as well although not specifically in this dream}. Knowing the energies exist is a step in resolving what is out of balance. If you know the tendencies you can work to resolve them. It is not knowing that can lead one down the wrong path. Decisions are not always consciously driven. The unconscious energies influence all aspects of life. Dreams are windows to these energies. At this stage in life you are more focused on teen life, social environment and peer acceptance. But later in life the unconscious energies, if not resolved, can lead to wrong decisions. Your personality and personal attitudes are tied to early life and if you know what drives you decisions will tend be less emotional {as in infatuation} and more objective. In the dream your best friend represents a part of you that is lacking and what is to be incorporated into your personality. The dreams is as much about the deeper self as it is your infatuation and determination on which way to take the relationship. You were right with the question, "if me misinterpreting the instructions to the assignment have anything to do with my understanding of the situation that occurred." But as much about the deeper issues than your crush.

Take time to read some of my pages at Power of Dreams. My page The Importance of Dreams is a good starting point. Jungian psyche is quite 'deep' and I have attempted to make it more simple to understand {I am of average intelligence but with a keen intuitive mind}. Understanding the archetypes can be helpful as well. We are all born with inherent instincts and when this are lacking {as interpreted with your relationship with your father in this dream} then you are 'out of balance' psyche wise {psychology}. What is out balance is the focus in our dreams with the dream intent to bring balance to the psyche. It is a natural aspect, nature gave us the dream as a tool to resolve the what is out of balance. Just as the body has an immune system to heal and protect, the psyche has the dream.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl


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