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Fighting Demons, dying, and God.

I had a very vivid dream last night, to help understand the content I will give background on me. I grew up in Houston for most of my life, and moved to Colorado 3 years ago, I was slowly degrading mentally and physically and was on a lot of drugs, and doing things that would not be accepted by most people. Such as sorts of criminal activity. I lived with a couple of friends on my own but eventually had to move back in with my Mom to Houston. I've been here about 3 weeks, and I've been making a lot of changes in my life these past couple of months. I actually got kicked out of my moms by my step dad for not having a job. The dream involved all friends i've reconnected with since I came to Houston. My best friend actually ended up being murdered about 2 months ago, and I’ve been watching over and being there for his ex girlfriend seeing as I was his closest friend. All the friends involved in the story named know him, he was named Ben. (edit : Bens ex was named Rayna. Jawon and Javonte are 2 close friends to us, Blake has been my friend since I was young and recently went over to his place with Rayna. Ben was also murdered by getting shot in the head of that has any significance)

Working at zumies, start stealing things on solo shift and get fired? Or quit? Just remember leaving to go. I’m at Blake’s house and I was watching videos online with Bens mom and Jawon. I see a video of me and Rayna and I look at bens mom and she says you’re trying to distract her and I start crying and saying how Ben is my brother. We go upstairs and play games and what not and talk until I was listening to music which is controlled by free masons to cause people to kill each other and hate God. My stepdad gets mad at me and tells me about how I need to do better and work more and listen more and he grounds me from everything. I go to my room to and was on my phone and go to hang out with Jawon and Reyna again. Javonte comes out of no where after discussing him and starts shooting. I jump over the counter and duck behind something and then pop up and jump over another counter but get shot in the back twiceand butt. I ran outside and Pray to god and watch videos of a civil war unfolding. Javonte laughs and then ends my life. I wake up at night and run across the street by myself from the position I died at and jump a fence running and make it. But then there’s a demon and it’s shaped like a llama dog goat. I run at it yelling this is for God or something of the sorts and it runs away then back to me. I grab it by the face and it face turns into an alligator it says, why would I ever hurt humans they’ve been good to me. But I felt it was up to something nefarious and I try to end it. I blank out to coming back to Blake’s house through the back after being scolded or remembering my scolding from earlier. I try to sneak in but end up just going out the fence and I had a durag on and I throw it into the neighbors yard. My step dad comes out yelling and asking if I threw drugs and I pleaded and said no it was just a durag and he says we’ll see then first go inside and I said I swear to god and he said which and I said the father, the Holy Spirit. He trips on something and said you’re not allowed to say that did you just see? (Synchronicity of sorts) then he looks on his head and there’s a red dot. Javonte starts firing from a car or cop car and I go to try to run but get shot in the head. My friend is posting on his Snapchat and Instagram a video of me seizing up as I die from the bullet wound and make noises. He put a laughing face but then the gunman comes and kills him. I’m facedown in the ground thinking of life and everything that happens and say is this what death is like. A dream devoid of moving or sensation but the realization of all?

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20, Houston, Texas.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} No

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Google

Re: Fighting Demons, dying, and God.

Holden,I will analyze your dream tomorrow {Wednesday}.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: Fighting Demons, dying, and God.

Holden,
I am working on your dream. A long dream that takes time. My usual method of analyzing dreams is to interpret the images and actions within the sentences to get an analysis of a dream. Yours is a bit more complicated and although I have come to some conclusions about the dream there are deeper issues that need more work. I'll provide what I have from my analysis thus far and finish tomorrow including a summary of my analysis. In the meanwhile you might want to read my page Concepts For Analyzing Dreams. It will provide insights to how I analyze dreams.


-Working at zumies-anxieties about your place in life
-start stealing things on solo shift-feeling unfulfilled related to emotional needs not being met
-get fired-an end to positive outlook

-Or quit-abandonment

-Just remember leaving to go-feelings of rejection related to past experiences

-I’m at Blake’s house-acknowledging some special quality that your best friend has
-I was watching videos online-current experiences connected to past experiences
-with Bens mom and Jawon-a part of you related to dead emotional energies/aspects about Jawon you identify with
-I see a video of me and Rayna-imprinted feminine energies related to your past
-I look at bens mom and she says you’re trying to distract her-unconscious aspects related to dead emotional energies that cause confusion in your life
-I start crying-emotional release
-saying how Ben is my brother-feeling dead inside

-We go upstairs and play games-unconscious escape from life issues
-talk until I was listening to music-unconscious aspects related to how you express yourself in a positive way
-controlled by free masons to cause people to kill each other-unconsciously energies you can not control
-and hate god-repressed aggression toward your father/stepfather

-My stepdad gets mad at me-literal application/unresolved issues with your father
-tells me about how I need to do better and work more and listen more and he grounds me from everything-literal application/giving attention to what causes you to do things in life

-I go to my room to and was on my phone and go to hang out with Jawon and Reyna again-an unconscious emotional aspect related to ‘synchronize’/conform with masculine and feminine energies

-Javonte comes out of no where after discussing him and starts shooting-unconscious masculine aspect that attempts to become conscious

-I jump over the counter and duck behind something and then pop up and jump over another counter-
-but get shot in the back twice and butt-
---someone is shooting you in the back may represent you are involved with some questionable people who may be harmful to your well-being
---To see your buttocks in your dream represent your instincts and urges

-I ran outside-conscious expression of inner emotional energies
-and Pray to god-communication with higher self
- and watch videos of a civil war unfolding-conscious life in extreme conflict
-----------------------------------------------------------------
-Javonte laughs and then ends my life-fears and insecurities that have changed you

-I wake up at night and run across the street by myself from the position I died at and jump a fence running and make it-a need to realize unconscious energies/tendencies and unconscious barriers and making changes

-But then there’s a demon-repressed emotional and possible physical pain
-and it’s shaped like a llama dog goat-causing a lack of physical strength and trust

-I run at it yelling this is for God or something of the sorts-expression of repressed anger at whole self
- and it runs away then back to me-due to repetitive actions/experiences

-I grab it by the face and it face turns into an alligator-moving between conscious self taking form of repressed energies
- it says, why would I ever hurt humans they’ve been good to me-unconscious energies taking on human characteristics

-But I felt it was up to something nefarious and I try to end it-repressing repulsive tendencies

-I blank out to coming back to Blake’s house through the back-unconscious rejected aspects
- after being scolded or remembering my scolding from earlier-being inhibited and prevented from fully expressing yourself

-I try to sneak in but end up just going out the fence-emotional energies penetrating unconscious barriers attempting to become conscious
- and I had a durag on and I throw it into the neighbors yard-getting rid repressed energies

-My step dad comes out yelling and asking if I threw drugs-unresolved issues with stepfather {literal}. Expression of repressed energies overcoming the numbing aspects of outer life
- and I pleaded and said no it was just a durag-application of unconscious energies
-and he says we’ll see then first go inside and I said I swear to god and he said which and I said the father, the Holy Spirit-unconscious/conscious energies that are plaguing your higher ability to stay on right path {to healing}

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: Fighting Demons, dying, and God.

Holden,
First off a reply to my analysis wild be greatly appreciated. It takes a lot of time to analyze a dream {especially a long dream which is often repetitive}. All my work is free. All I ask is a thoughtful reply and hopefully context with your reply.

Summary of my analysis
Despite this being a long dream there is a simple message. You have come to a stage/period of your life you want to make changes but you are finding it difficult to do because of two main factors. One is the current situation with your stepfather, a literal conscious experience. The second is much deeper. Having to overcome early life programming and a lack of proper parenting from both parents {but with more serious issues with your father}. The first and second are related {synchronized} in both father and stepfather have 'rejected' you. Your father never giving you proper love and acceptance and your stepfather adding to shared experiences with 'fathers' by kicking you out. The former can be resolved by finding your own place in life {away from stepfather}. The latter will require psychological counseling, the deeper issues with your father embedded in your unconscious and being controlling agents in living your life. Early life programming {with father/parents} is preventing you from being your true self and finding harmony in life. You are unconsciously driven by these energies and are hindering your search for peace and harmony. This is pretty much the message of the dream.

A little context to my summary analysis above. Dreams have a language of symbol and metaphor {because man's earliest form of expression was in symbols, cave paintings, hieroglyphs, etc}. There are also literal applications {as noted in my interpretation of images/actions below. All the people in a dream have shared experiences or qualities related to you and your experiences. In short they are you and the actions are actions from/in your life. Your dreams are about you and your emotional energies and the function of dreams is to help resolve what is out of balance. Just as the body has the immune system to heal and protect, the psych{ology} has the dream. It is nature's mechanism.

There is good news about the negative dream. At age 20 you have your whole life ahead of you to resolve the issues. If not resolved your life will never find the harmony and happiness you seek because you are under control of the unconscious energies. Some say this is silly but it is real. Making changes involves more than changes in how you have been living/acting. It also involves making changes in how the unconscious energies have control. That will take psychological counseling, working through the issues by realizing what they are. Everyone has issues and most everyone would benefit from counseling. I found my path forward by understanding how I was imitating my father in so many negative ways and changing the energies from those experiences. The way forward is psychological.

Read my interpretation of the images and actions {I've provided them without the dream language}. See if they don't fit with your life. Having some limited info on your personal life helps but with just that I am able to provide an outline of the emotional energies. If I knew more about your personal life I would be able to provide where each fit on a more exact scale.


Interpretation of Images/Actions

anxieties about your place in life
feeling unfulfilled related to emotional needs not being met
an end to positive outlook

Abandonment {feelings of if not literal}

feelings of rejection

acknowledging shared qualities/rejected aspects
current experiences connected to past experiences
a part of you related to dead emotional energies
imprinted feminine energies related to your past
dead emotional energies that cause confusion in your life
emotional release
feeling dead inside

unconscious escape from life issues
Positive spin on how you express yourself
unconscious energies you can not control
repressed aggression toward your father/stepfather

literal application/unresolved issues with your father/stepfather
literal application/giving attention to what causes you to do things in life
{controlling emotional energies}

an unconscious emotional aspect related to ‘synchronize’/conformity with masculine and feminine energies
{foundational/early life programming with parents}

unconscious masculine aspect that attempts to become conscious

getting past fixed emotional energies
avoiding the unknown
repetitive actions/experiences
involved with some questionable people who may be harmful to your well-being
Conforming to your instincts and urges


conscious expression of inner emotional energies
communication with higher self/feeling preyed upon by father?
conscious life in extreme conflict

fears and insecurities that have changed you
a need to realize unconscious energies/tendencies and unconscious barriers in your desire to make changes

repressed emotional and possible physical pain
causing a lack of physical strength and trust


expression of repressed anger
due to repetitive actions/experiences

moving between conscious self taking form of repressed energies
unconscious energies taking on human characteristics
{conforming to unconscious drives in conscious life}

repressing repulsive tendencies

exhibiting rejected aspects
repressed emotional energies preventing you from fully expressing yourself

emotional energies penetrating unconscious barriers attempting to become conscious
getting rid repressed energies

unresolved issues with father/stepfather {literal}
expressing repressed energies overcoming the numbing aspects
application of unconscious energies
unconscious/conscious energies that are plaguing your ability to stay on right path

out of balance life due to unconscious energies {father/stepfather relationship?}

repeat of similar experiences

rational actions nullified by anger

anger driven by masculine authoritative energies
escaping emotional suffering

rejected aspects messaging from the unconscious

archived experiences of compulsive energies

making changes while not knowing results

covering up true emotions {putting a happy face on a distressful life}

essential aspects of your emotions have been cut off
faced with unconscious energies that control you
affecting whole life

Conscious display of what is unconscious

Realization of a life void of true emotions/questioning your life

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl


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