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Gay wedding and my personal separation

Last night I had a dream that my gay friend whom I was a bridesmaid for two years ago got married for the first time. I was again bridesmaid however the wedding was very different to her actual wedding in real life. I was asked to give a speech at which point I was feeling quite depressed having recently separated from my husband (which has happened in real life) and this was my first wedding since we separated. It was bringing up a lot of feelings. In vain I attempted to write the speech last minute on my phone as I forgot the night before but I was called up by my friend to present. I began speaking slowly into the microphone with long pauses between sentences. I was speaking as if drunk, unable to control the tyrant of depressing words coming out of my mouth. At this point I began walking around the guests long tables, still presenting my speech. I wondered so far I had reached the other side of the building where there were baskets of bread. Ladies in olden day bonnets and long dresses were marveling at the bread and one of the guests gave them some loaves. One of the ladies dropped one on the ground which she promptly picked up and replaced in the basket for other guests before grabbing a clean loaf. For some reason this was important in my dream. I was watching this all occur and slowly making my way back to the Wedding on the other side of the building, still giving my speech. When I rounded the corner of the building half of the guests had left, everyone was a bit disappointed in me for putting a downer on the wedding and the brides had changed into comfortable clothes.

What does this all mean? Something about feeling I'm not being heard?

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 26, F, Australia

Re: Gay wedding and my personal separation

Emma,
I'll look at your dream on Sunday {Florida USA time}. Although I am retired I have a full day working for family business today, my only day to work.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: Gay wedding and my personal separation

Emma,
My sense of the dream is you are having issues of feeling unwanted and possible abandonment partly because of your separation from your husband but with deeper implications as well. The dream is also be addressing foundations to underlying energies for these feelings of being unwanted/abandoned and a possible reason for any deep depression you are experiencing {is depression a recurring experience?}. The foundations would go to childhood and/or past relationships, in childhood the relationship with your father {or other authoritative male figures in your life when a child} being the primary substructure for unconscious energies. Were there issues of feeling unwanted as a child with your father? Are there past experiences where relationships ended and you had feelings of being unwanted? These early life/past experiences lay the ground for your attitudes later in life and can be responsible for deep depression especially if they were from childhood. Your statement in the dream post, "It was bringing up a lot of feelings" points to underlying emotions and point to the above analysis.

As for the images in the dream. Your gay friend would be symbolic but likely have real life associations to that person {qualities about her you identify with/like or dislike}. Gay, wedding and marriage are symbolic images for a union of opposites {two conditions which are opposite to each other}. Another would be the father relationship which causes conflict in your unconscious. The second is your current situation with the separation of your husband. These experiences are in opposite for the inherent need for feeling wanted. Feelings of being unwanted as a child are embedded in your unconscious and these emotions would come to the forefront with your current situation. Feelings of being unwanted/abandoned will always be an issue as long as the father relationship and/or past relationships remain unresolved. Dreams are nature's tool to help resolve such issues by providing the underlying reasons when you dream.

The bridesmaid image could be expressing your desire to be in a committed, loving relationship. The dream statement about being the bridesmaid when your friend got married for the first time would point to the first experience on your emotional need to feel wanted. It is not a literal depiction of the real marriage, it is symbolic and the dream states this with the "the wedding was very different to her actual real life wedding".

A speech is an expression of your inner most feelings and emotions. Tables represents social unity and family connections as well as issues of insecurity, issues you need to put on the table so to expose the unconscious energies. Being drunk represents not being in total control {as with depression and reasons for it}. Bonnets represent sheltered emotions and the bread emotional nourishment. The one loaf that was dropped on the ground is the 'grounding or foundations' for your emotions and a clean loaf points to the need for new approach/opportunity to receiving emotional nourishment {why it was important to you}.

Let me know your thoughts to my analysis. Additional info could provide more insights to the dream message.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl

Re: Gay wedding and my personal separation

Jerry,

Thank you for such a thorough reply! I found it very interesting reading your interpretation.

In regards to past experiences/relationships I am an only child, very close with both my parents in particular my father. They were/are very attentive parents. My parents are still together and I can't think of any past relationships in which I have felt abandoned or unwanted. I'd say I'm currently pretty happy, I haven't experienced any deep depression aside from when I separated from my husband over a year ago now.

The desire to be in a committed loving relationship resonates as there is a potential partner I've been talking to for the past six months now whom I am really enjoying talking to. He makes me feel wanted in a sense however we haven't officiated the relationship.

I really enjoyed your analysis of the bread, bonnets and speech. Logically that makes a lot of sense. I've been reading a lot on meditation and Buddhism lately so I wonder if my subconscious is becoming more active.

Thanks again,

Emma

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 26, F, Australia

Re: Gay wedding and my personal separation

Emma,
I apologize for not getting back to you sooner and I do appreciate your response. I have a lot of responsibilities being the caretaker of 16 cats I have rescued over the past 7 years. It is a constant chore and often leaves me with little time for working with dreams as I would like. When I was analyzing your dream I had to do so while giving time with several of the cats who were begging for my attention {like spoiled kids who think I am their personal assistant}. That sometimes diverts my attention from my interpreting a dream and if not fully able to concentrate I may miss the meaning of the symbols. Apparently that was the case in the unwanted associations with your father. I will go back and see what I can get from a second analysis. It will likely be this Sunday but I do want to see what I missed.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 70 Altoona, Fl


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