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trauma

Hi Gerard.
I woke up with this dream today.
I was back in my college days with my friends. I was in a somewhat empty classrom . It was the beginning of the semester and I was not well prepared. I remember worrying about that.

Than I was on the streets walking with a huge bag.I saw a man that was familiar, I recognized him . He was my first elemantary school teacher. Wishing that he did not recognized me I walked back and forth. Then, I saw him again. He was crossing the street and walking towards me . there was a bank on the road and I thought maybe he was working there. he looked at my chest and tried to talk. I looked down on my chest to see if there was a name badge( how would he recognise me? I thought) there was no name badge. He said he wanted to talk to me and ask me if I would go with him. I shouted NO and walked away. OI was at the bridge talking to two old guys and in front of a bank. I was telling them that when I was a kid doctor did not ask me about it. I don't knwo what that was but I was referring to the sexual abuse I faced at the first year in elementary scholl. They were feeling bad about the situation
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the sexual abuse part really tooked place when I started going to school. But I really did not give that guy a much thought except for disgust. I really liked him as a teacher until he did that. But why now i am having this dream? perhaps, because the affair I got involved in was getting a lot stronger and deeper( at least that's what I think) His wife was away for a week and she is back. I feel abondened and lonely. At the same time I am not sure if I really want to be with him forever. But I still don't feel good about the conflicts and possibility of him lying. Could that be why I had this dream?
Thanks a million!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 28, NJ , USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

Re: trauma

yasemin,
Being back in time often represents experiences from that period of time that is still being confronted unconsciously if now consciously, in the present. There may have been a period of time that you felt an emptiness in your life, as in the classroom in your dream. Part of the dispair may come from not being prepared for what was to come during that period of time.


Walking the streets with a bag my represent what you are doing in your life today; the bag being baggage you still carry from past experiences. The man you recognize is probably a reference to your teacher, which as you state caused you physical abuse, and also a continuation of a pattern of behavior that still persists in your current waking life.


Explaination: What we do as adults is often a by-product of experiences earlier in life. The pattern of behavior may be an extension of something that has its roots in the earlier life experiences, as well as the abuse you experienced with the guy from school. Since you gave little thought to the physical abuse from the guy suggets perhaps your attitude at the time it happened was a result of earlier experiences, those which caused you to see the abuse as merely something disgusting. A pattern of behavior has taken root, and has consequences in your life today.


Banks are where we store our valuables. This masculine aspect in your dream may still have some control of certain valuable assets, assets which would symbolize valuable aspects of your personality, life and self. Not having a name tag may represent not being able to recognize these assets as being of value. This would be a result of earlier experiences in life that robbed you of certain principles or disciplines that would better provide stability and balance in your waking life in the present. The dream is trying to communicate this hidden masculine aspect {Dream: he looked at my chest and tried to talk. The dream takes liberities in using identities and aspects in more than one way}. Not wanting to be recognized is probably a desire you have not to recognize certain aspects about yourself, perhaps the not yet acknowledgement of past painful experiences that still linger in the present. But the unconscious, via the dream, recognizes these aspects and experiences, which suggests you need to acknowledge unresolved past experiences that help form who you are in the present. The bridge is the bridge between the unconscious and conscious. The old guys are old experiences, influences, of which has affected valuable aspects you need in life {again the bank symbol}.


The kid and doctor symbolism suggest you may have been expected to care for yourself, in some way or aspect, early in your life. No one else {the doctor representing those who should care for you and take care of your ills} asked about it. Perhaps there was no one, or not proper care provided youas a child from your parents. It also may addressing the abuse. Did you share that experience with someone at the time it happened?


I think perhaps the abused experience from that period in your life may not have been properly confronted and dealth with. But I also see possible earlier experiences in your life that would have prevented you from being able to do so. The two things together may have produced patterns of behavior that reside within you to this day, and are the cause of the emptiness in your life. You are involved with a married man, but you do not know if you want a committement. Is this something you have thoughts or emotions about, not wanting a committement? That may the pattern of behavior the dream is addressing and a need to discover why you do not or can not accept committements. The guy you are having an affair with probably has similiar qualities to that person or persons from earlier life. We tend to gravitate to people who resemble past experiences, often bad experiences.


Some women, and men, tend to enter to abusive or doomed from the beginning relationships, one after another, even though they know of the probable abuse to come or the failure that is sure to follow. This is because they are trying to correct past experiences from loved/trusted persons, but deny the bad qualities for whom they enter into relationships with. Your pattern of behavior may lie somewhere between childhood and the abuse youb recieved while in school. I think the dream is trying to address this pattern, because of the current events in your life involving the affair with the married man and perhaps something earlier in your life that started the whole process of the pattern.


Let me know your thoughts to my interpretation and perhaps we can discover more to what the dream message is.


Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Re: Re: trauma

Again, I am amazed with your analysis. Thanks so much for giving it a thought, and to every single aspect of my dream. You are correct about the parents situation, I really did not have many things taken care of when I was a child so I learned to deal with everything myself, acknowledging that my parents were not something that I wanted to become. I analyzed every situation to learn lessons and promise myself that I would not behave that way when I were a grown up and a parent.

In addition, no one on this earth knows about the experience with my teacher. I was very young to understand it for a while myself. It took me sometime to really define that experience; first I thought that I was being loved as a person. However, I realized later on that it was not the case. That soon confirmed low level of self worth feelings. I think I was feeling guilty for many things that were happening and really beleiving that I was "bad". Of course, now I am working on correcting that false belief that was once programmed into all my brain cells for years.

You are correct again to state that many situations lead to similar type of concequences in most of my relationships. Perhaps, that is the reason that I am so afraid of committing, thinking that I would be betrayed and no one can really love me for whatever I am . I conciously don't think that way however, I beleive unconciously that is the prevailing theme.

I am going to re-read your analysis and try to understand the things that I need to face. I don't know how to face them, besides remembering it. I don't think I am wise enough to understand the past experience impacts on my current life and the vicious cycles/patterns that I create. So, it may take some time.

my best,

Yasemin

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 28, NJ , USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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