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anger in the library

Hi,

my dream started with going to the library, as I go inside I lightly bump into a lady and she rushes after me expecting me to say sorry to her. I do, but feel it wasn't necessary of her to rush after me and expect sorry.
Later as I look for books someone bumps into me, and now I expect this other person to say sorry to me.
I am not sure what happens later, but another girl starts saying angry words to me, and starts drawing on my face with black pen or texta. I am being ridiculed in front of other people. I go to find a bathroom and wash off the texta, it seems there was not much of it on my face as I expected.
Later it seemed the girl and others looking at what was happening leave. And I see myself coming inside the library again, or as I am inside looking for this girl. As I see her I walk towards her angry seeking revenge. I start hitting her face, and head against the floor, and cut off a little of her blond hair in front of other people.
I walk out of the library, I am not sure how I felt, but I get on my bike with my books perhaps and ride away.
Is this dream about revenge, am I seeking balance in my life, and who is this girl? Could it be me, or some other important female in my life?

thanks a lot
Magda

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23 Australia Melbourne

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} F

Re: anger in the library

Magda,
I did not receive a response to your last post and my interpretation. While I wish to help all who post dreams I can only do so properly if there is a follow-up to my interpretations.
Please provide me with your impressions to the dream you posted on June 9. That dream may provide insights to this dream and future dreams.
Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Re: Re: anger in the library

Thanks Gerard, I am sorry I wasn't aware of that.
It would be of great help.
I will write a response to my earlier dream now.
Thank you again
Magda

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23 Australia Melbourne

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} F

Re: anger in the library

Your dream probably fits with the conflicts within your family unit. But it is also directed at your inner life also. As you stated in your post to your first dream, you easily have your feelings hurt and take even little things to heart. I surmize that there are instances within your family where something is said or done and neither party wants to say 'I am sorry'.

The girl saying angry things to you most likely represents the anger you sometimes feel about not only the conflicts within your family but also within yourself. Unknown people of the same sex in a dream most often represents an aspect of yourself. The ridicule is probably part of the ritual between members of your family that you feel is directed toward you. Unconsciously you are probably ridiculing yourself. You wish to eliminate these conflicts {bathroom}, inner and outer. Most likely the conflicts within your family have become mere rituals and are not a genuine show of emotions that would be generated when there is honest disagreements. It has become part of the family's routine. The saddness is a result of the conflicts within, something that can be more dstructive than the outer conflicts if not resolved.

You want this part of your life to leave and you are looking for answers {library} as how to remedy the situation. You are looking for that person within yourself that fits the ideal model of how you wish life could be {without the conflicts}. You have stored up anger, as much at yourself as others. You are punishing yourself {hitting her in the face}, perhaps unconsciously, over these emotions. Your inner self is banging its head {thinking aspect} against the floor. The cutting of the 'blond' hair is a lose of any enjoyment in life.

Leaving the library with mixed emotions suggests you have not discovered the information that you are looking for. So you go about life as usual {the bike and the books} but still with an earnest desire to change your life {you still have the books when you leave}.

Summary

The girl in the dream is you, or more precisely an aspect of who your are. Part of who you are may involve feelings of revenge, not only at family members but those aspects within yourself that let you have these feelings of saddness. You are angry at your family and at the same time yourself for giving in to these emotions. This is probably the reason for feeling sad. It is your way of hiding your inner emotions.

The one thing that I find curious about the dream is there is no mention of a male figure, your father or your boyfriend. All the characters are female. This suggests two things. One is what you stated about your father. He is not active in your life thus the elimination of masculine participation. That would also lend itself to your feelings of sadness, a feminine aspect that needs balance to aleviate such emotions. Also you no longer talk to God, a masculine figure {unfortunately too masculine}. Although there are not any males in the dream there are masculine aspects {anger and revenge}. These are not the balancing masculine aspects needed in your life, just the oppsite. This may indicate that the lack of genuine masculine participation is part of the problem {a normal problem with many people}. It may also suggest that you are not finding that balance of masculine identity in your relationship with your boyfriend of 4 years {"I still feel like growing in this relationship"}.

The second thing about not having a male in your dream may be that these are inner aspects of emotions that you are trying to confront, emotions that are thought of as feminine {sadness}. In light of this I believe the dream is trying to communicate the dire need to get away, or in some way remedy those things that cause feelings of saddness in your life. If not they could lead to more troubling psychological abnormalities. You need to find ways to overcome this saddness. and that involves eliminating the conflicts.

You stated you have received counceling. I suggest you consider seeking counceling again. The emotional problems that you demonstrate within your dreams and you state occur in your waking life are probably too much for you to work through by yourself. These are deep seeded emotions which probably require a trained analyist to hlep you properly work through.
Also I suggest you start thinking about ways to eliminate the conflicts you confront with your family. At 23 you are old enough to find your own life. Sometimes we have to leave the old behind before the new can take over. Give real thought to where your relationship with your boyfriend is leading {you seem to have doubts}. Yo are stuck in emotional conflicts that can be destructive and make life much worse than it is now. You do not need to make a drastic decision all at once but need to start with one step at a time. But yo do need to start the process. Find a way to consult a councelor. That would be a good first step. And stay with it.

Let me know your thoughts to my interpretation. We can learn more from your response.
Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Re: Re: anger in the library

Gerard,
you were right about the conflicts in my family being reflected in the dream. I feel angry about getting upset, but I still live at home and it's hard to ignore these things. I want to help my familt but I also want to leave them because of these problems.
About my boyfriend, I love him dearly, and he has helped me a lot, especially with the sadness, he is my dearest friend and I tell him a lot. When I said I still feel like I am learning in the relationship, meaning that I can't just enjoy being with him, without taking things to heart, when someone or even him tells me something. When I get upset at home, I either try to deal with it, or tell him, and it's usually me who needs emotional help and support in the relationship, and I don't want that any more, I just want to enjoy life with him and I can't wait to do that. I could leave home, but I know it would upset my family, especially my mum at this moment, I don't think she's ready for that yet. One thing is that I am still studying and want to finish my uni course, two more years to go.
Another thing is my mum gets angry and upset about my relationship with my boyfriend because he is 11 years older than me, and she still hasn't dealt with that yet. She has met him though, and he's been to our house a number of times, and said he's a good person. But when she gets angry she will yell upsetting words to me, and I know I am not the daugther she wants, I seem to be leading a life she hasn't imagined for me.
About counselling, I have talked about my mother with the counsellor, it has helped in that I was able to open my heart to others. But I want to find ways to deal with problems by myself, going to counsellor again would mean "weakness" to me, or reminder of those "worser" times.
About my father, I usually don't dream about him.
Overall at times I feel like I am stuck in this family web and there's no way out. So yes this is probably the rage expresssed in the dream.
What about "when the girl started drawing on my face with texta, but when I went to the bathroom there was not much of the texta on my face", what does that mean?
I don't want just to walk away from the home, but my parents argue a lot, and I don't want my mum trying to blame me or upset me as well, I don't know what to do.
Last night I dreamt my mum, my brother and I, were going to the airport and going away to another country.
Anyway, thank you Gerard, I appreciate your help
Magda

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23 Australia Melbourne

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} F

Re: Re: Re: anger in the library

Magda,
Thanks for the detailed reply. It explains a lot about yourself and the dream.

You stated that your feel that you are not the daughter your mother wanted. What is really true is your mother is projecting her own inadequances upon you. She is not living the life she wished to live and when she gets angry she projects that onto you. She tried to shape your life in her image. Of course that doesn't work, you are you and not your mother.

About consulting a counselor. Weakness is not confronting the truth. To repress what is inside only delays the volcano that will eventually erupt. As you said, talking to someone helps. If not a counselor someone else who has a wise and open mind.

When you say textra do you mean makeup? It may refer to covering up your emotions. If there is not much on your face may indicate you are ready to open up to these emotions, and to others who will listen.

Your dream about your, brother and yourself going
away to another country. It probably has to do with escaping the world you live in. Your father is not with you so you probably wish you lived ina world that excludes him.
As far as not dreaming about your father. You probably do but as in the dream he is symbolized not by himself but by other masculine aspects that represent him, such as anger and revenge.

I can understand your reluctance to leave home. I hopep that you find some common ground that helps in your family situation. Do what your heart tells you to do. We sometimes have to sacrifice for the good of the unit. But do seek ways to temper your inner anger. It is destructive and will only lead to further problems.
Gerard






Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

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