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Hi there
I wondered if you could interpret a dream for me please.
A few nights ago I dreamt about my ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend. In real life our relationship involved a lot of psychological abuse and this ended around 18 months ago. He got with his now girlfriend around a week after we split up and I am now happily engaged to a man who is more gentle, kind and romantic than I could ever have dreamed of. We have been living together for 6 months.
In the dream I was in my ex's house which I used to live in. His girlfriend Andrea was there with me and we seemed to be sleeping in Bunk beds in a room I have never seen before. We were talking and I cannot remember the conversation but I remember feeling uncomfortable, as if I was trying to ingratiate myself with her. She asked me where I was going to put my cot for the baby (?!) and I pointed to a space on the wall.
The dream changed so that I was in their kitchen with my parents (who hated my ex and would not go into his house). I was very hungry so I took a box of cereal from the cupboard and opened it to eat some. i then realised that it was theirs and I shouldn't have any without asking so went to find them.
While looking for them I walked into a room and saw my grandmother (who has been dead for 5 years and never met my ex) sitting in a chair. I asked her if she was ok and she said she was. I plumped her pillows for her and went to keep looking for my ex.
I walked into the living room and they were sitting on asofa in front of a tv and a brand new gas fire. My ex was playing with a little blonde girl, around two years old, who was sitting on his knee. I assumed she was their child and started trying to get him to give her to me so I could cuddle her and play with her. This went on for a while and I asked about the cereal but they wouldn't let me have any. I was looking around the living room thinking that all the furniture was new and then I woke up.
After I woke I could vividly remember the dream but the most predominant memory was that of the little girl and how much I wanted to hold her.
Last night I had a vaguely similar dream.
My parents and I were living in a very dingy small basement flat. my cousin and his mother pulled up outside in a flashy looking jeep. I felt very inadequate because our flat looked so horrible. I got into the jeep and we went driving. My memory of the dream gets very hazy here but I remember driving through some city streets in the jeep and stopping, again this was a very dingy area with lots of grafitti and litter. There was a little girl, again about 2 years old in a car seat beside me in the back of the jeep. My cousin, my aunt and I were sitting in the jeep talking and when I looked around the child had opened the door and run down the street. She was running out in front of cars so I ran after her and dived on her, taking her in my arms and rescuing her.
When we got back to the jeep I couldn't figure out if the child belonged to my brother or my cousin (the male in the dream seemed to keep changing between one and the other). Someone took the child from my arms and everyone was just walking down the street as normal. I kept trying to get to the child to take her and cuddle her but people kept holding me back and not allowing it. i remeber feeling really desperate and upset at this point.
Randomly, at the end of the dream I had a very itchy big toe on my right foot. It bothered me for a while so I looked at it. it was red, itchy and spotty and the nail was flaky and loose. I pulled it and it came off in my hand. There was a nice fresh new nail under it. This is when I woke up.
Once again, after I had the dream, the strongest memory was the feeling of longing for the little girl. Wanting to hold her and keep her safe and to make her giggle. This left me feeling really sad that I hadn't been able to reach her.
Apologies for going on so long but these dreams have left me a little upset and confused and I wanted to give you as much detail as possible. I would really appreciate it if you could interpret these for me beacuse I am having difficulty working out what they mean and they have unsettled me somewhat.
Thank you very much.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23 London

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

Re: help

Rachel,
Please read my post from today about Dream Interpretations. Thanks.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Re: Re: help

I completely understand. The website looks really busy and obviously things aren't much fun in America at the moment. My sympathy gos out to everyone involved.

If you do get the chance to have a look at this dream for me at any stage in the future I would very much appreciate it.

Thnaks again.

Rachel xx

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23 London

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

Re: Re: Re: help

Rachel,
Thanks for your understanding and second post. Your dream is very long and detailed and will require a lot of attention for a proper interpretation. I promise to work on it today and give an interpretation before the holiday weekend is up. Thanks so much for your patience.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Re: help

Hello again Gerard. Sorry to bug you but I just wondered if you had a chance to figure out this dream for me?

Re: help

Rachel,
I am so sorry. I had completely overlooked your dream I will work on it today and in the morning and will have an interpretation tomorrow. Again, my apologies.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Re: help

Rachel,
I began looking at your dreams with an eye on the relationship between you and your ex and how your parents played into the scheme of things. But after reading the two dreams I believe the dream is trying to communicate a desire for that little girl within you, and perhaps your life when you were a little girl. Are you still trying to win approval from your parents? There may also be some traumatic experience when you were younger that you still need to be rescued from.

The first dream seems to be focusing on the past relationship with your ex. And although it may be going over emotions from that past experience {do you still have feelings for him?} in the end I see a desire for approval from your parents, if not also from yourself. The childhood experiences have left you with a need for approval, something that was perhaps lacking when you were a child. When we look at our adult lives and wonder why we are as we are we can often look back at childhood and see many of the reasons.

What makes me believe there are unresolved childhood issues at play is your strong impressions after waking from bothe dreams with the feeling of longing for the little girl. That little girl is you. It also may be alluding to any leftover feelings for your ex. If things were perfect perhaps the two of you could have had a little blond headed girl.

Were you blond as a little girl?

Since dreams focus both on the current waking aspects of life and also the deeper issues that are left unresolved, I believe the dreams are doing both. But the main issue may be longing for that little girl and that need to be held. Look at your relationship with your parents, look back at your childhood, and see what is there, perhaps a lack of acceptance and approval from your parenst as there should have been. Let me know your thoughts and perhaps we can learn more about what the dreams are trying to communicate.

I again want to aplogize for overlooking your dream request. As in all things in my life I give great importance to being prompt and thoughtful to my duties and responsibilities. I came up short in that endeavor when I overlooked your request.

Thanks,
Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Re: help

Hi again. Thanks for your response. you did not fall short at all. You have hit very close to home an I was really surprised by your response.

I do not have feelings for my ex any more. The break up did affect me really badly but I am now far happier with my fiance than I ever could have been with my ex. I have a normal life now and feel happier and more loved than I have ever been.

What really interested me in your answer is the talk about my parents. I am the youngest of four siblings and I have grown up in a very loving environment. My parents couldn't have treated me better. However, since being a teenager I have had some mental issues, including depression. I went through some counselling and the issue which kept coming up was my inferiority complex and intense guilt issues as well as a real feeling of wanting to make my parents proud.

Also I have vague memories of abuse as a child possibly from my uncle. These memories never fully emerge and I have often thought they are fake memories I have constructed to excuse my mental problems. This upset me a lot while I was having counselling because I tried so hard to remember what happened but the thoughts just would not come. Eventually I realised that it didn't matter whether the memory was real or not so I decided to stop worrying about it and just get on with my life. I have not thought much about this in at least a year.

Finally, I know my parents are proud of me now. They absolutely love my fiance because he is a proper gentleman and he makes me happy. I am living 500 miles away from them now and miss them loads but they are happy that I am finally growing up and leaing an independant life.

By the way, I have always been a brunette and was never blonde as a child.

Thank you for putting up with my waffling again and I do really appreciate you looking at this for me.

Any more thoughts on this?

Re: help

Rachel,
Thanks for your response to my interpretation. It verifies my intuitive sense that there was something from your childhood that still lurked within your psyche. When I first looked at your dreams I began to think about the past relationship with your ex-boyfriend as a central theme of the dreams. But then something kicked in and I realized that was perhaps something deeper. The blond little girl was the turning symbol that gave me that impression.

Since you were not blond as a child {often such expressions of color represent the true physical aspects of the dreamer} then the blond child may symbolize the inherent need to be that happy child. Blond would be a symbol for 'golden'
- a promise of something good and life-enhancing, happy, joyful, as a prosporeous childhood should be.

The first dream apparently was a mixture of your past relationship with your ex boyfriend and a reference to your past abuse by a relative. The combination is probably due to the related abusive nature of both experienes. In the unconscious dream there is a desire to find closure on past negative experiences. It is the mind's way of helping to work through issues that have yet been put in their proper place. As it is often said, 'you feel better after a good night's sleep'. This is not just a phsyical rejuvination but also psychological.

The second dream seemed to focus more on the childhood experiences. The reason why you can not recall the abusive memories may be that you were so young that the mind was not developed enough for such memeories. Research has shown that the earliest memories begin at the age of three and a half. The abuse, even though not recognized as such at an early age, remained in the depths of the pysche. As you mature and form principles of proper behavior such memories can rekindle themselves even though they were not formulated at an age where they remained as a complete memory. The impressions are still there but the complete memory is not.

The good thing is you have put all that behind you and have moved on. The only problem you may encounter with such past experiences may come in later life, mid-life stage, where the natural desire to look back is so strong. If your life at that stage is unhappy and disoriented then it may be a problem. But if your life continues to have that 'golden' oulook, it will remain something in the past and not be a problem.

Good luck with your new relationship. And a hope that the little girl has found the love and acceptance she needs.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

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