I keep having these dreams, that seem to be centered around women leading the way and my mother. I do not understand how a man lets the feminine part of himself lead, and although I've read so much on the subject it seems a bit beyond my grasp. I somehow have a feeling that my conscious perception of women is clouding up what the reality is.

In this first dream I am in my home country with my wife, we are getting very intimate, my step father bursts in and makes her go away, saying that he doesn't want her close to me. My wife turns into my mother, and she leaves me sadly, and I am torn. My step father decides that he is going to take me to see a man far in the mountains. We get to his house in a village overlooking the sea. My stepfather says this man is a has built causeways across the mightiest rivers. We get there and his house has 2 rooms, a bedroom and a kitchen that I cannot see. He is asleep. He is huge and black. He gets up and walks into the kitchen, which is the first time I realize that its there and offers me a drink. I cannot remember the rest.

The next dream right after this is short. I am in a riverbed with a girl I know from school. She is trying to reclaim some furniture that is in the river. We walk up and down the bank looking for a place to jump in. After some searching I see a place that looks relatively safe but I begin to doubt whether or not she can handle it. Then I begin to doubt myself, and suddenly she jumps in, and I have no choice but to jump in after her. We easily swim upriver and retrieve the furniture.

Well basically, I don't understand what's going on. Why am I continually having dreams of meeting super competent men, and being led by women and being torn away from my mother. Also I have a lot of dreams about people including myself being asleep. I know it may be a sign of not wanting to face reality. Also I have not lived with my wife in 7 months because we are going through this horrible US immigration process, so I have been living alone. I also dearly want to start a business but I am anxious about my ability to handle it. These are the major things in my life, so I know the dreams have something to do with it.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 26 Orlando FL

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I feel like the first dream is similar to the one I posted below

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The first is I am hearing a dead aunt (she is not dead in real life) calling out to her daughter (my cousin) Her voice is coming from a mountain. A Brown mountain that is steep. I begin runnng up the mountain at a steady pace, only to see a gilr run past me with ease. I don't linger on it but halfway to the summit I reach a village. Only some of the local people in the village have reached the summit. A very plump man in his 30s comes to me and says that I need rock climbing gear and some experience to reach the summit. I can't just free climb the mountain because there is a mote? around the mountain's peak that isn't deep enough to prevent me from dying if I fell. I re-examined the peak and realized how treacherous it really is. Then he tells me I need to get one of these and shows me a white circle with a hole in the middle, that is has 3 even segements. I believed that I would need it to hold on to while I was climbing.
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You told me that my masculine aspects need to be hardened? They need balance. Does that mean I need to be more assertive ans agressive? Less emotional? That's the insight I'm failing to grasp, what exactly do I need to work on? What constitutes letting the femainine lead? Is it less doubt and more action like the girl who jumps into the river?

Thanks Gerard I hope you can help me a bit.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 26 Orlando FL

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Scotty,
Being compassionate, caring, intuitive, creative, understanding, closer to nature etc. are some of the positive aspects of the feminine traits in a man. But there are negative aspects also. If your anima is controlling instead of being a balanced part of your life, then it is a negative influence. If your mother was a controlling type person and this is a part of your feminine traits then it is a negative. It all depends upon the individual and their life's evolution, inherited traits, personality, and even the chemistry of the body as to how the symbolic reference applies.
The symbolic reference to the feminine in the waking life may represent the relationship between females in your waking life. This relationship may influence your own psyche thus providing you with quailities that are inherit in that relationship, or influencing your relationhsip with that female person.

In your first dream there seems to be a need or desire to become initimate {to get to know or get in touch with} those feminine qualities. But your masculine self will not let this happen.
Example
If you have a need or desire to be less assertive or a more understanding person {feminine characteristics} in your personality or actions but have a difficult time doing so, then this is the masculine self denying the feminine. If you have a desire to become more initimate with your wife but for some selfish or other reasons you can not, this is the same influence of the masculine over the feminine. Or there may just be a lack of an ability to be in touch with those feminine aspects because of influences or experiences in life, especially earlier life.

The cause of this inability to be in touch with your feminine side could be many. A contolling mother or a bad relationship with your mother {in your dream your wife turns into your mother} may be the cause. Or there may have been an abusive relationship between your mother and father and see you your mother as a victim. This is where the personal life is not visible in dreams and can only be understood by the dreamer. I can see a faulty relationship somewhere with the feminine but teh actual relationship can only be known by the dreaamer. I can guess or have strong suspicions but the rest is often not available to be understood.

As your dream progresses your masculine aspects seems to take control. This may be what happens in your waking life. The step father may be some part of your masculine aspect that is different from your biological father, perhaps opposite to how you view your real father. Mountains are often things that we must overcome. And perhaps the reference to the man in the mountains refers to certain {but not all of course} masculine qualities you need to overcome. These masculine qualities could refer to your own psyche or to some male in your life, or a good chance of both. The village overlooking the sea may be those qualities within that are within the unconscious, not yet realized by the conscious mind {dreams make you aware of these qualities, or lack of them}. A causeway is a connection between conscious and unconscious {water is often the unconscious, as well as symbolic of the true self}.
Whne you do start to realize these aspects there are two choices, the bedroom and the unseeable kitchen. Going to the dream dictionary you can get a possible understanding as what these two rooms represent. They may represent something to you that may not apply to someone else.
The bedroom may have to do with sexual attitudes, or unconscious contents that are dislayed in dreams. A kitche may have to do with nourishment, or even to do with health issues. Since this room {symbolic of a part or aspect of youhugh and black}. It could also be a part of your shadow self {see shadow in left column}. Going into the kitchen to get a drink may represent the first time that you have become aware of these unconscious aspects. Perhaps not remembering the rest of the dream is a conscious attempt not to want to remember.

You can se from my analyzing this dream how much space and effort it taakes to interpret a dream. Since I on't have a lot of time and have other dreams I must look at I will try to surmize what I think may be the root of your dream messages. I wish I could spend more time with these dreams but unfortunately I have other responsibilities also.

The problem seems to be with the feminine, not being able to access or get close to this apsect. In your waking life you are having this trouble with your wife due to immigration issues. But there are probably deepr issues also that you need to address having to do with feminine qualities {in the context of not being able to get close to them}. Theere seems to be a need to utilize some aspect of your masculine self in a way that helps get you closer to this feminine quality. It may have to do both with your waking life and unconscious contents. As I said earlier I can only see the outline of the possible meaning to these symbols with the actual cause having to be left to you to understand.

Look at the relationship with your mother and compare it to your wife, as suggested in the first dream. Then look at the relationship with your step father and look at how it applies to you and your mother. Also compare your father and step father and see where that may have to do with your motehr and you. We know you are having problems over the separation with your wife. What could his compare yo with the relationship iwth your mother? The two may be connected, or may have similiar aspects but not related at all. Let me know your thoughts and perhaps I can better understand the relat6ionship. If you can give me a more detailed understanding of the relationship of all the members of your family I should be abloe to see more to the possibilities.

I apologize for not being able to give more time to all your dreams and give a better breakdown and assessment. It is the beginning of the week and unfortunately I have to work to feed myself and these starvinf felines that keep me company.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

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Gerard,

I did a lot of soulsearching at work today, there isn’t much to do so no biggie. I realized that as children we are so vulnerable and trusting. I did have a controlling assertive mother, and I was hurt by her, my stepfather and my father who was never there. During my teenage years my stepfather’s jealousy was the final blow that tore me and my mother apart. I hung tightly on to those defenses that I put up against the rejection I felt in my heart. I do not know my stepfather’s situation but my mother was rejected also as a little girl, to the point she felt that no one needed her. My heart collapses when I think of my mother in such pain because it’s the pain I felt growing up, so I cut off emotions and any signs of “weakness” to survive.I stopped expecting intimacy even though I craved it so much and still do. My grandmother whom I also grew up with, I’ve gotten kisses from her probably 12 times in my life. I couldn’t complain, talk about feelings, fail, or cry, crying got me hurt more. My grandmother can’t even say I love you. Nonetheless I am slowly learning that I cannot change the past, and I cannot blame them for who they are. It’s a family legacy of rejection, that I must break, and I hope to use every resource necessary to do so. I believe I can and I thank you for your insight into my life. I intend on working on my relationship with my mother, to continue to forgive and accept her. To allow myself to feel and to not let those feelings restrict my abilities. To work on my esteem and continue to monitor my dreams.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 26 Orlando FL

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Scotty,
Knowing that there are these negatives about yourself is the first step to improving your life. Too many people live their lives knowing their faults but never do anything about it. If you will take each step slowly and purposely you will eventually get to that place you wish to be. It takes courage and a lot of discipline. If there two things that the hero of myth exemplifies it is courage and discipline. And when the hero/heroine finally achieves these two goals, the boones and riches of life pour out and life is good.
Good luck and stay the course.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

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