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A break for freedom

Gerad,

As I'd mentioned on my previous post, I want to share this dream that ties in to the other under "Scottish Journeyman".

An older oriental man (like a spiritual teacher, loosely resembling a Buddist monk) is teaching myself and a group of students sitting at a table in a house. Next, there is a large man dressed in a military uniform - like in modern day Africa, holding a rifle pointed straight out from his chest. He says nothing. One memember of the group starts to scramble away and I get the hint that the military man is waiting silently for me to get the message to leave. He makes no eye contact but I sense that I had better leave or else. He is giving me a chance. I run for a fence and as I'm about to clear it, I am pulled back (by someone unknonwn). Then I see the ex from my last relationship. He had been driving my car but crashed it. There are tears streaming down his face.

Now our group is being held hostage in the house. The oriental teacher is on the phone but what he's saying is unclear. My ex and I are then in another area of the house but it has been cleard out of many items - the carpet is pulled up to be carted away, etc. We go behind a curtain and are intimate for a moment. Then, I am standing outside. A car load of people drive by and one flips me off. I feel that they are mad.

Gerard, I'm wondering if the people in the car are those elements of myself that are leaving due to a healing process going on. My ex seemed remorseful that he "crashed my car" (me), but my feeling has been that he needs to do some healing on his own now since I cannot trust his sincerity. He was very manipulative and controlling. "Being held hostage" was what I felt like emotionally since I have wanted to put the past behind me as he continued to hold on. I think this is symbolized by seeking to get over the fence but being pulled back. I am seemingly given the chance to break free but then pulled back and "held hostage". It was like a trick and actually, in real time, I did feel my ex's remorse one day, and then seen he had tried to call.

Ultimately, do you think that the house now cleared of most clutter and that I was with my animus intimately (even though symbolized by my ex) conveys that I am indeed healing? (I feel like I am). Are those person's driving by in the car aspects of myself that are angry because in merging/healing, I will no longer feed them (so to speak...elements as in anger, sadness, frustration, etc. Maybe they were the students at the table with the teacher and me, being rehabilitated...lol) Or maybe in driving away, they are those parts of me that refuse to heal and rebel even though I seek that. I would like to think that they are driving away in their own car instead of driving me. But do you feel that means I am in denial of ownership of my feelings even though I've processed so much? The feeling with my animus was lovely. I would like your interpretation for any other perspective I may not be seeing. Perhaps my "shadow" side is giving up as I have gone on and am trusting in my inner guidance as symbolized by the wise oriental teacher.

Sincerely, Shelly

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 40, California

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

Re: A break for freedom

Shelly,
Sorry about taking so long to get to you. I am in the middle of a busy project {social dragon} and it is taking all my energy to finish.

AS for your dream, and specifically the question about the people inthe car. Often when you see unknown people in a dream it is symbolic of your own aspects. But in certain instances it could be merely reflecting waking experiences, and using those experiences in some way to comment on your inner aspects. PeI think the best way to determine if it is addressing the deeper aspects is the "does it fit' test. Does the unknown people represent actual waking life experiences. Do you feel like flipping yourself off, are you mad about something you did or said? And what other symbolic references could 'flipping off' represent? We know from the dream it is just one aspect {one flips me off}.

In the first part of your dream there is mention of one part of the group {you?} that starts to scramble away. And the spiritual teacher is teaching you specifically, which would represent the total group, your total self. Perhaps the dream is addressing one particualr aspect that needs your attention.

There seems to be a conflict of the spiritual self and the man dressed in the military uniform. In the last part of the paragraph there is your ex. Perhaps the reference is to him, with the military part representing being dominated or controlled. The gun may be unleashed anger, something from th heart, something deep felt. Such anger would be in conflict with the spiritual aspect of a Buddhist monk, your inner spiritual self {Buddhist are disciplined not to let such anger control their actions}.

In real life experiences was it your husband who wrecked your life {your car}?. Is there still deep anger at him for his actions? Perhaps this is the conflict within, that one aspect represented by the one part of the group, the one member that starts to scramble away, the one that one part that flips you off, still. Perhaps the tears represent a need to forgive on your part, your persona {inner release of anger at him, and perhaps yourself for still letting him control your emotions}.

This may be what is being held hostage. Those experinces with your ex are gone, cleared out. And the anger that still lingers may need to be cleared out, pull the carpet out and expose the underlying emotions. Being intimate may mean being initmate with yourself, those masculine aspects that are still controlling. You may be mad at yourself for letting these emotions be so controlling. So much so you have a need to flip yourself off.

The answer to your question about the house is yes, I believe it is about the healing process. The feeling about your animus being lovely is what will occur when you do ultimately forgive and forget. Listen to the spiritual Self. This is the way to inner healing.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Re: Re: A break for freedom

Thank you Gerard,

And yes, like you, time is of the essence sometimes (I am on my lunch break). Thank you back for your devotion to us "psyche seekers" (as I read about your appreciation in your recent post).

Many things you bring up in your post are true. There has been a certain anger at myself for having let someone affect my life even though I felt it more strongly in the past (but guess it isn't all cleared out and the residual remains on the under belly). The best thing I've done is gone on toward my future and so those old thoughts/feelings rarely surface, except when I would see that my ex boyfriend still attempted to contact me. That is no doubt the feeling of being "held hostage" to my emotions because it did stir me up and bring up old issues that I had felt were done.

Never the less, I had a dream last night that was encouraging (I don't expect you to interpret this one). I was riding way up in the sky on something and the vista was breath-taking...the expanse of nature, the ocean, rivers and ground were beautiful.

A herd of horses were galloping down a river and one fell. From up above I wondered if the horse was dead but then realized he wasn't because he moved his head. He was still going to be able to get up. From there I rose up to some sort of platform but the dream gets a litlle murky here. As I can today, I've been striving to recollect the scenario. Maybe I will later but over all, it was a very positive dream.

Sincerely, Shelly

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 40, California

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

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