Hey Gerard,

Well, now the dream about my ex-girlfriend seems to have been altered. In last night's dreams, I dreamt of meeting a girl who was far too young to be dating--she was a minor. However, she approached me and wanted to talk. Her father was angry that she was talking to me. I believe we were on some sort of cruise ship.

I can't remember it very clearly, but I believe I did something intentional to hurt this girl later on. I can recall thinking she was very naive, and yet I felt bad that I was giving her the cold shoulder.

Do you think this has anything to do with discussing the dream about my ex-girlfriend? I think it must. Why would it have changed?

Alan

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23, Pennsylvania

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Alan,
Unless you have had an experience in real life to do with a younger girl {you did not mention one so I take it you have not} I think this dream is probably addessing your own feminine aspects. The possible experience could have to do with a TV show, or something else, if such an experience did occur.

As for your own feminine aspects and your dream, a minor girl would symbolize some feminine aspect about you that is not yet fully developed. An example: a male who is not able to express his emotions, something a male with fully developed feminine aspects would be able to do. The father would symbolize your controlling masculine aspect {often a reason why men can't show their emotions}. Unconsciously this aspect rejects your undeveloped feminine self, it supports your ego-self {which is greatly influenced by your peers, buddies, male friends who may also be masculine dominated personalities}. The conscious ego will often oppose unconscious aspects that it feels threatens the ego-centered self.

The fact you feel as if you did something intentional for me re-inforces the possibility of the ego threaten self, and the reason for the dream, and the message of the dream. Dreams are about the psychological aspect more than anything else and that wise Self, something that resides in the unconscious, will direct your attention to any part of you that is out-of-balance. This is a function of dreams, to help you resolve not only your everyday waking conflicts but also those deeper conflicts, those that influence who you are and how you think and act.

So if my assumptions about this dream are correct, the message of the dream to you is that there is an undeveloped part of you, a feminine aspect {see Anima/Animussee my example}. This aspect is not functioning properly {too young, a minor}, or has not been developed properly. And there is a reason for
that, which is a subject for another time.

Another part of the dream message is that the masculine aspect within you is threatened by the conscious recognition of this previously unrecognized
and un-respected feminine aspect. This is common. If you grow up in an environment where no one is able to show their emotions, most likely you too will have this problem. This is ego personality development.
And this defective aspect is masculine associated.
Women are better able to show their emotions. Thus the ego {controlling angry father} will oppose any unconscious threat to its authority {father}
If you showed your emotions too easily then this may suggest your feminine aspect is overly developed, or defective {a father who cries a lot could be a stimulus for such behavior in a man}.

Why did you have this seemingly opposing dream?
Pobably because you have given mental energy to the subject and are exploring a once dormant aspect. If today you hear a song you really liked 10 years ago, something that has been dormant will once again find energy and invade your thoughts. Same with your experiences and dreams. Once you took the time to post a dream at Myths-Dreams-Symbols you automatically awoke a part of you that has been silent. An overly-masculine guy {which there are too many of} wouldn't post a dream, prbably cares less about dreams. Once you start to give thought to it, it acquires psychic energy, and you may dream about it, especially if it relates to something that already has a lot of psychic energy.

I intentionally try to design my pages {I am the webmaster of MDS as well as the resident dream sage} so the visitor unconsciously enters another state of being, I want
the ego to share with the deeper self. The color black helps to do that. In Western philosophies black is often associated with death and thinking of death puts you into another realm of being, thought wise. That's my intention. When you get to the Dream Forum and actually post a dream for interpretation {that is not something anyone does often, few people ever do} you have already challenged the ego. You already had ego issues and that fits with my challenge. That is probably a stimulus for this dream which is in conflict with your first dream. The first dream sems to be addressing actual waking life experiences where this dream is addressing inner life experiences.

A lot to digest. If you have questions or comments feel free to ask. There may be waking issues this dream is addressing that may be uncovered with more information.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

To be honest with you, I cry a lot for a guy--at least three or four times a week. The other night I watched "The Five People you Meet in Heaven" and I bawled my eyes out. Further, I'm wrapping up a Masters Degree in Counseling, so I wouldn't say that I am the most masculine, Rambo-like of men.

Perhaps it is that my anima is defective, and I am trying to harden myself up a bit. Could this be why I was so harsh and abandoning toward the young girl in my dream? Part of me felt drawn to her--to want to defend her and make her feel I loved her. The other part said, "This girl is too young and naive--ignore her!" If anything, I am too emotional a guy--I am an INFP, and I tried for the longest time to be rational (the dreams became real stormy during that time) and so I have embraced my intuitive/emotional side instead. However, doing this has made me feel I have better accept the fact I will not accomplish as much in life as your regular, hard working type. My work is internal--it doesn't produce material items to show for myself. I read a lot, study a lot of things, pray and meditate. I relate well to the parable of the rich farmer who worked hard all of his life and stock piled up material goods, only to die so that he couldn't enjoy them. I have decided to work on myself instead.

One other thought came to mind when I tried to analyze the dream myself. My ex-girlfriend was very naive and intellectually underdeveloped. She was too easily blown around by other peoples ideas--I never felt safe with her because of that--I was always worried that I couldn't trust her. She didn't have a stable set of personas--she was always trying on new roles.

Perhaps the father in my dream represents God, or some higher aspect of myself. I wanted so badly to have that relationship because I have had so few. However, I knew that my ex was too weak to make things last. The father may have been saying, "This is not what I want for you--you know this won't work." In that case, my dream would have been an affirmation that the relationship just wasn't going to work--that it is better that I am not in it anymore. In the dream, I got to act out my rejection of the relationship--however it still hurt knowing that I dissapointed her--I did care for her, even if "we" couldn't work out.

What do you think?

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23, Pennsylvania

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Alan,
Thanks for the response. The Dream Forum is a learning place and when everyone participates we all learn. Your dream is a teaching tool.

It seems I got it backwards {sometimes I am that way}. You are the opposite. Either way the dream is most likley is addressing inner issues. The minor is you, in what way what needs to be determined.

As for the angry father being God. A possibility. Are you overly religious? God is not something that is literal in dreams. He is symbolic of your own higher Self. And so is a father. If God were in the dream I would look to that as a better possibility. But an angry father is something different.

I'll read what you have posted indepth and give my thoughts later tonight or tomorrow. The more information I have about a dreamer the better the possibilty I can provide an accurate interpretation. Somtimes going backwards helps you get going forward.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

I'm looking forward to what you come up with!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23, Pennsylvania

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male