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fingers and fire

Hi everyone,

I had a dream where I saw myself, my mother and brother.
My brother and mother were burning fire on matchsticks, and they were trying to get close to me with those matchsticks burning my fingers with fire.

At first I tried to be brave, even though I wanted to run away, and was very angry I tried to put up with it, with them doing this to me, trying to be strong and closing my eyes as the fire was close to my fingers.

I found in the dream dictionary that fire could mean anger or change, and that fingers signify direction.
I can see how this dream occured last night because I was upset and angry at my mother and brother during the end of the day, feeling separated from them, growing away from them.

This dream is one of my occuring dreams, as a result of tension between my mother and I, and they keep occuring now and then, whether I dream of her screaming at me, or dream of my mother and my brother being against me.

Any suggestions on the dream, thanks for your help,
regards
Magdalena

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23 Melbourne Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} F

Re: fingers and fire

Hi Magdalena,
You have a very good underastanding of the dream & symbols. Are you a sensitive/intuitive?

Perhaps the matchsticks (matching within a group of identicals?) represent similar views or ways of thinking that your mother, brother and yourself shared but now you differ as you seek and express your own individuality.

The fire could represent both anger and change. A dream symbol can hold several meanings so it would not be unusual for this to point to the anger felt by all three people AND the change your inner Self is experiencing in seeking a new & separate direction.

Brave, strong, closing your eyes...were you taught as a child to not express emotions, to repress emotions, because to do so is sign weakness? And possibly that to receive love you had to surrender your individuality and emotions? Could you now unconsiously believe your needs are of lesser value than the 'group' so rebeling, even rightly so, against the family authority now causes internal conflict & anger?

Perhaps this is helpful or not, so please respond with your thoughts. Thank you for posting your dream!

Kind regards,
Kathy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43 Central OH

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

Re: Re: fingers and fire

hi,
the saying getting ones fingers burnt,came to mind,
meaning,
to suffer the results of an action,an action not to be repeated!,
this could relate to an earlier childhood experience or a more recent event.
are you repeating or in danger of repeating an earlier response,ie as indicated in the dream,
perhaps if this is the case,you need to speak out,express yourself without fear,
something worth trying,go back into the dream and see what you could have done or said differently to bring about a more positive outcome,this can give an indication as to the conscious attitude to adopt.

to thine own self be true.
regards steve.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 50 uk

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

Re: fingers and fire

Thank you Kathy and Steve,
I appreciate and am thankful for your responses.
Kathy: I think of myself as over-sensitive...and remember waking after the dream wanting to cry, but I didn't. (perhaps was too tired ;-)
I think that as I was younger, we, meaning my mum, brother were very closer, yet in the family circle there was occassionally the feeling of favouritism, i.e my mum liking my brother more and my dad feeling closer with me, even though I don't feel very close to my dad now. Sometimes I thought this was very silly and didn't think of it twice, but I guess this feeling is coming back to me, perhaps because my mum thinks she has more problems with me.
Yes I think I have problems expressing my emotions. Personally I think sadness is a sign of weakness, because it reoccurs too often in my daily life.
Surely everyone expresses their happiness better.
I don't know why I have been trained to feel this way, I am thinking of my childhood and remember my parents didn't have a strong relationship, could this be the reason?
Yes I feel my feelings and needs are separate from my mum and brother, I feel that many times I have to make my mum happy. I'd like to feel closer again to my mother but at times there's too much anger inside me towards her, of the things she said in the past.
Steve: I thought of what you said, I could have responded differently, I could have been stronger and spoken against them, telling them how I feel about them doing this, rather than trying to fight with the hurt inside. However I don't know what happened before they started to light the fire, what caused it, the dream seems only to show the action and my reaction to it.
I don'k know what action is repeated, or what action could have been repeated in childhood, whatever it is I don't want to repeat negetive emotions or actions, or weakness, and I am having trouble finding a way to express myself better and not be hard on myself and others, to be happier...
Thanks

p.s I feel strongly how my dreams express my feelings, yet I hope that maybe there's some deeper clue...I can't make the breakthrough

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23 Melbourne Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} F

Re: Re: fingers and fire

hi,


i liked the words you said,
the dream seems only to show the action and my reaction to it,
your reaction in the dream was negative,
holding onto such feelings of hurt and anger is an obstacle to possitive growth,
and can be projected onto outer things.

you stated that you have difficulty in expressing yourself,
have you tried writing it all down on paper,
maybe giving a copy to the people involved.
i had a father who was basically unapproachable,
i told him how i felt on paper,
my mom said, he cried,he had no idea i felt as i did.
or infact what effect he was having,
writing down allows you to express yourself in a more controlled way,


dreams allow a safe enviroment for compensation to take place,
ie,you can't express your anger or sadness outwardly,
so it is expressed in the dream,
on waking if you had cried,
i think the dream would have done its job and gone the distance,

getting it out of your system and off your chest will bring about a healing .
if you keep digging,something will click and the ah,ah,moment will come.
regards steve

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 50 uk

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

Re: fingers and fire

Thanks Steve,

I agree writing helps, but it is much harder to say how you feel when you feel a certain way, to other people that you care about face to face. I suppose writing will help as a first step. I have cried before after a dream, I don't want to do it any more...to react such way, I guess in a way it seems like keeping it inside, but I don't want to be reactive that way any more - to repeat a certain reaction I feel has created a pattern for my emotions.
Has writing your thoughts and feelings helped you progressively? I guess we all have to find a way best for us. I enjoy writing my feelings here, sharing my thoughts and reading what other people have to say, so thanks again Steve.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23 Melbourne Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} F

Re: Re: fingers and fire

hi magdalena,
having somewhere to send your feelings is important,
as you have said, writing is a good way.
it is important to find some sort of safe outlet for our negative feelings and emotions, a way that doesn't hurt others.
but sometimes we end up hurting ourselves the most,because of our lack of action,
i do understand completely the dilemma,

you are absolutely right,we all have to find a way that suits us best,
dreams help us to do this.
you are not alone,
but walk a well trodden path.

steve

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 50 uk

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

Re: fingers and fire

Magdalena,
Sensitive, over-sensitive…matter of perception. To a non sensitive any sensitivity is viewed as over-sensitive, vice versa. As a child I was deemed ‘over-sensitive’ as though it was a bad quality. I’ve now come to see being taught to repress that sensitivity, ‘toughening up’, was a major factor in lack of emotional development, to becoming and realizing my true nature, inner Self. Repressing my sensitivity resulted in not allowing myself the true expression I required and denied me the process of development to integrate this aspect in a positive manner as I physically matured. And even today sometimes interferes with being in touch with my deeper intuitive self.

Favouritism of the sort you describe could be the Oedipus/Oedipal family dynamic. Perhaps reading the MDS pages (I know it’s here just can’t locate it…will look again tonight) on this will assist your understanding and the effect/outcomes in unresolved issues.

Steve’s recommendation to write out your feelings is excellent. For me writing is therapy where I can express those inner most feelings and thoughts. Then when I go back to it, days…weeks later, there is the opportunity to evaluate and actually see the underlying inner self in a rational and healing manner.

Thanks,
Kathy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43 Central OH

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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