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Sexual

I have many dreams, that are somewhat erotic, they are not really explicit, but they are very sensual. The catch is, they are dreams of famous people, men of coures. ie: Famous Athletes, Actors.
They probably mean nothing, and I don't mind having the dreams, but when I do have them, I tend to fantasize more about these people, when I know that I will never have any kind of encounter with these people.
If you can help that would be great. Just give me a little ensight.
Lora

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 37 - Indiana

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

Re: Sexual

Lora,
Read the page on Famous People. It may shine some light on your dreams. Also look at your attitudes toward sex. Have you thoroughly expressed your sexual attitudes or do they remain only a fantasy?

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Re: Sexual

Thanks for you input. I think it all stems from my boredom with my sex life. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but there is no spontanatiy (sp). It is the same old thing. I have been with my husband 13 years and there are 2 kids, and there isn't always time for fun and pleasure so it is kind of disappointing. And then, if I bring it up with my husband, he feels inadequate. He has fantasies also about other women and famous women. That is natural I know. But I dream about the "same" famous people almost 3 to 4 days a week. And the dreams all different so that is interesting. But it has gotten to be bothersome cuz I feel guilty that I am having these dreams all the time. Should I feel guilty, or should i let it continue to rule my subconscious and dream about these people?

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 37 - Indiana

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

Re: Sexual

Lora,
I take off my intuitive dream hat and turn to my own personal experiences in answering your questions about sex. Having been married 3 times and having many other short term relationships {all before I began my journey to Individuation some 12 years ago} I think of myself as someone with the practical experience to comment on the subject of sex. I have never had a probelm with satisfying a partner, quite the contrary. My issue was an inner need to satisfy my own deeper psyche problems that mostly stemmed from childhood, in particualr looking for love and acceptance from a father who was never there {which led to looking for love in all the wrong places}.

As you stated, it is quite natural to fantasize. The particular people in your dream may have 'individual significance in that they represent some aspect within you that is lacking or admired. One reason for such fantasies about famous people may be the cultural fascination with celebrities. What they have, or seem to have, is what many in our society see as the high marks of approval. And approval is what we all seek from our peers, and our own inner self.

You mentioned you and your husband talk about your sexual lives. That is most important, to be open and to communicate. Most couples can not have good sex lives because of a lack of communication, which in itself is often a result of deeper psychological stress. You also stated he feels inadequate. That may be the problem. If he feels he can not 'perform' to potential then there are reasons for that. Two reasons that many men feel inadequate in sex is because of penis size and deeper psychological problems. Both can be 'treated' through therapy, a good sexual counselor or psychologist. Or if the cost of such treatment is beyond your bounds, there are many books on the subject.

I found this information from researching the internet
Even though men can 'enlarge' their penis through surgery, this may not be an option and is not always medically successful. Penis enlargement is appropriate only in extenuating circumstances when the penis is less than 5-7 centimeters when erect and is probably due to an extremely rare congenital genetic disorder.

For men with a small penis there are methods of satisfaction beyond actual intercourse. Foreplay is most important. Also sexual positions may enhance your sex. And oral sex can be a great substitute. Of course many people have taboos about such sexual behavior but I can speak from personal experience, it is well worth investigating if you have not already done so, for both partners.
I suggest you investigate further the website AskMen

If the problem is deeper, psychologically, the only remedy is probably counseling. And depending on how deep the undercurrents are to the psychological problems, the more difficult the solutions. Since you and your husband do communicate about your sex lives there should be an awareness to what the problems are. The problem may be going the extra mile to satisfy the other. And from what you have said I assume the biggest problem may be from your husband's feelings of inadequacy.

And again, it may be helpful to some extent to investigate the famous people in your dreams and your husband's dreams {since you both fantasize about such people}. This may lead to a better understanding of the inner requirements of your individual psychs, the famous people personifying deeper aspects of who you are and your expectations.

Hope this helps.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Re: Sexual

thanks again for your input. But sorry to say, had another dream last night about one famous person I continually dream about; however it wasn't sexual. It was about me being in the hospital and I was having trouble breathing and heart problems and he was the attending Dr. trying to help me. but that is all I remember. So we are still trying to see why I continue to have famous people dreams. Oh well, I guess it could be worse. Thanks again.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 37 - Indiana

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

Re: Sexual

Lora,
Who is your 'famous' liason? The sexual dreams you have had may more to do about integrating the different aspects of your psyche as much as it does with sex with your husband. Here is the definition of sex from HyperDictionary.com Dream Dictionary that may help explain this as well as other possibilities to dreams of sex:

Dreaming about sex, refers to the psychological completion and the integration of contrasting aspects of the Self. You {may} need to be more receptive and incorporate aspects of your dream sex partner into your own character. Alternatively and a more direct interpretation of the dream, may be your libido's way of telling you that it's been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love. Dreaming about sex with someone other than your spouse or significant other, suggests dissatisfaction with the physical side of your relationship. On the other hand, it may be harmless fantasy. In such situations, you may find that you are less inhibited sexually and you can even bring that sense of adventure to your existing relationship. Dreaming that you are having sex with an ex or someone who is not your current mate indicates your reservations about embarking in a new relationship or situation. You may feel nervous about exposing yourself or currently feel a resurgence of those old emotions and feelings that you felt back when you and your ex were together. Believe it or not, it is not uncommon for people approaching their wedding to experience especially erotic adventures with partners other than their intended spouses. This may be due to the intensity of your sexual passion with your fiancé. It also relates to the new roles that you will be taking on and the uncertainty that that may bring. If you are heterosexual and you dream that you are having sex with someone of the same sex means not necessarily homosexual desire, but an expression of greater self love and acceptance. You need to be in better touch of your feminine or masculine side. Dreaming that you are the opposite sex, suggests that you exhibit or need to incorporate those qualities of the opposite sex. Ask yourself, how do you feel being a man or a woman? In what ways can you incorporate those feelings into your waking life.


Determine what of these may fit your pesronality/psyche. Then perhaps you will find real pleasure in your sex life, at least in your dream.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Re: Sexual

well actor wise my famous liason is Patrick Dempsey from Grey's anatomy. And the scary part about it is that my brother is an aquaintance of his (not that I will ever get the pleasure of meeting him) and my "athlete" liason is Tom Brady from the New England patriots. Whatever my psyche is, I am desiring things with these people. I don't feel guilty about it, just was curious as to why I have them frequently as I do.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 37 - Indiana

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

Re: Sexual

Lora,
That's a question that is hard to answer without knowing a lot more about you. We would have
to do a Freud {no, nothing to do with sex}, find a couch and let you tell me your life's story. That works if is done right {and Jung had it right}.

The spontaneity that you say is lacking in your marriage from your husband may be the stimulus for your dreams. These fantasy celebrities are fulfilling what your husband does not. They may possess qualities that you wish your husband had. Desiring things with these ‘people’ is the desire you seek in your waking life. The frequency could be tied to the frequency of your waking desires, which going unfulfilled in your waking life are played out in your dream life. Even though they seem innocuous they could eventually lead to serious conflicts within your life if not resolved. Resolving the lack of spontaneity may resolve the whole issue. Determining if it is just your husband’s lack of spontaneity of your response to it, or both, is important to understand to gain resolution. If you can talk openningly about your sex life I would hope you could talk openningly about the spontainity thing.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

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