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disconcerning

I had a dream last night that wasn't that disturbing until I looked in a dream dictionary to find the meaning, please help interpret.
I was at a place with old friends, more like acquaintances that I used to know in high school. I noticed that one guy that I used to have a crush on had gained weight and I was no longer attracted to. In general I felt like I didn't belong with them. At one point I either looked in a mirror, not sure though, but somehow caught a look of my face and it was pale. I thought I should see a doctor but when I went to look in the phone book there was only one. I thought that to be strange and mentioned that to one of my better friends. She commented on the fact that we were in some foreign country so it wasn't weird afterall. I think I left it at that, and figured I didn't need a doctor afterall.

Anyway, when I looked up "pale face" in a dream dictionary it said possible trouble, illness or even death. That totally freaked me out!!! However, I haven't been feeling like myself lately and have noticed that my face has been paler than usual, is this just coming into my dream to sort out, or could it be a premonition? not sure...help

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 29, Hawaii

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

Re: disconcerning

Lisa,
The dream dictionary you consulted on the meaning of pale face, throw it away. A good dream dictionary offers suggestions about the possibilities and does not 'tell' you what a symbol means. Any dictionary that says this or that means something concrete, use it for starting your next fire.

As for your dream. The place you were at in your dream may symbolize past experiences. The old friends may allude to past, and perhaps positive aspects or experiences about yourself. Looking back at the period of time in your dream {high school} may provide clues to what aspect of your life the dream is trying to communicate to you.

The guy you had a crush on but had gained weight probably represents some masculine aspect. Or he may represent some other male in your waking life that fits his description {overweight, no longer attracted to}. Unless you have actually seen this real guy and he has indeed gained weight, look to some other aspect of your life for the meaning of this symbol.

This masculine part of you or your life no longer appeals to you, or perhaps it is a physical or psychological aspect that no longer belongs or supports who you are today. The mirror is a true reflection of who you are and apparently there is a part of you that no longer fits or works with your personality {this could very well be the meaning of pale face, your personality/ego self}. The doctor may represent a need for healing of this particular aspect and there may be only one choice to facilitate this healing within you {or perhaps you think there is but one choice}. Your better friend, possibly your wiser self, doesn't seem to be bothered by the whole thing.

The fact that it was not disturbing until you looked to the 'dream dictionary' supports the last sentence {underlined}. If it wasn't that bothersome in your dream then it shouldn't be seen as something you should be overly concerned with. Feelings about a dream when you first awake are what should be heeded about the dream. The so called dream dictionary led you away from the true dream feeling and substituted it with something that wasn't real {as do all dream dictionaries that put a fixed meaning to any symbols}. The pale face and the mirror suggests that there is some part of you that no longer fits, is not a cheerful aspect in your life. Your feminine instincts {she, your better friend in the dream} is that part of you that is wise and should be listened to.

Is there a male in your life who that no longer seems to fit what you expect? If not then the male in your dream is about your own masculine qualities. My money it is both.
Your thoughts and comments.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Re: disconcerning

Thank you for that!! It is interesting because now that I think about it something very special happened this week. In the past, I have always been very guarded of my feelings, emotions, etc - felt like more of a masculine quality. However, I was at my sister-in-laws blessing way (a baby shower blessing) and at one point we were to give a blessing, etc. For the first time in my entire realtionship with my husband/his family, I let down my guard. I professed my love for his family, was crying, acknowledged them for their greatness, was very vulenrable - probably more than ever in my entire life. I have definetely NEVER been that open with even my own family. I think I mentioned in my original message that I noticed that this past week my face was looking paler than usual in the waking day, but looking back it just looked like a had "clarity". I let my feminine self be exposed.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 29, Hawaii

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

Re: Re: disconcerning

Lisa,
Your response to my interpretation, which I truly appreciate, shows how dream interpretation works best. Although someone trained in Jungian dream psychology {especially the contributors here at the Forum} can help the dreamer understand the metaphors and symbols within a dream, it is the dreamer recognizing the connection to their waking life that provides the final answer. The 'ah! ha!' that fits in my life, is the telling sign that the interpretation was looking in the right direction. Only the dreamer knows the personal aspects of his/her life. The person who provides the interpretation can only understand the periphery aspects. Providing clues so the dreamer can connect the dots is considered a success when interpreting dreams.

Perhaps the most telling clue in your original dream was the statement about letting down your guard. In your reply you point to your feelings of vulnerability. As I stated in my interpretation dreams are about the emotions and in connecting dots between your dream and your actual waking experience you were able to put it together and form your own 'right' interpretation. I can discern the universal meaning of symbols but the personal can only be known by the dreamer.

But the question now, and probably the reason for the dream, is how do you approach the newly found openness that exposes yourself and had in the past made you feel vulnerable? Has the time come for you to be more open about yourself or did the dream address your vulnerability as something you must be careful of showing? Is being more open with your family a healing process in itself or are there still obstacles in those relationships that need more time to heal? I did not see the answer to that in your dream or your response. What are your feelings on that subject? Ultimately that is what the dream is most likely trying to communicate to you.

Gerard

myths are clues to the spiritual potentialities of the human life....Joseph Campbell

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

Re: disconcerning

To answer your question, I'm not quite sure. I noticed that day, after I let down my guard, that once I was out of that setting, safe and open, my guard went back up immediately. I went to lunch with my sister-in-law and even with her, I felt myself feel guarded again because I was no longer in that intimate setting. My entire life I have felt like I have needed to protect my feelings, not open up too much, not let people in too much, react with sarcasm or disgust rather than love and openess (which I really want to do, but feel like I will get hurt somehow). It stems from fear. Fear of not being liked, fear that what I say is thought to be weird or not "the perfect thing to say", fear of letting people in too close. I think sometimes I set myself up when I do open up because I am expecting a different reaction and it isn't always the same as what I was expecting, and then I become frustrated and annoyed, and then immediately guarded again because they "didn't get me" or what I was trying say. I feel like this stems from my mother and our realtionship, and has now filtered into most of my close relationships.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 29, Hawaii

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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