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disturbing

I have had a really disturbing dream, which woke me up at night. I dreamt of a young couple, who were musicians playing in the same band. They were downstairs somewhere in a basement perhaps, talking They were alone. The girl had a masculine look about her face. She challenged her boyfriend to do something. Something strange but it was to prove something to her. He agreed and then without any pain he cut a big chunk of his flesh around his stomach. He seemed to do it with anger perhaps but he wanted to prove something to her that she asked of him. Once he cut his flesh he began to grate it on a big grater, (like grating cheese) He kept grating his own flesh until I saw a lot of meat and bone. That's when I woke up, and couldn't fall back asleep just remembering the redness of the meat and the bone. The guy seemed ok, he was still alive.
I am confused about it, and overwhelmed at the act of it, could you please help me with it.
thanks
Magdalena

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23 Melbourne Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} F

Re: disturbing

Hi Magdalena,

That you’re already knowledgeable and engaged in Self work the dream may speak to that inner Self work.
The basement would be your deep unconscious, possibly repressed emotion or aspect. The Persona, as the face, may be utilizing or desire to utilize a more masculine external trait/aspects like willpower, power, rational concepts and or ideasm etc.

Perhaps without pain and with anger symbolize that which is repressed in the deep unconscious. Proving could be the staunch resolution we learn as youth to not express emotion as it’s viewed as being vulnerable, which doesn’t act to eliminate these emotions, only the opposite resulting in repression. The repression acts as a false shield or barrier of conscious feeling of being invulnerable but actually results in unconscious vulnerability and response/actions. The underlying psychology of our actions, why we really do what we do. If I recall, you’re involved in animus work. The grating of flesh may refer to the external (Persona/ego) view of the work you’re involved in. That the animus is a willing participant in the work however perhaps what the feminine demands in getting to the core of the issue (meat and bone) is too extreme to be done all at once or more than is necessary (shredding & grater, meat & bone). A more gentle, feminine move in this work may be a more productive approach.

On a personal level, perhaps the relationship with your mate is experiencing some difficulty or conflict. In that by requesting something from him his response was not supportive? Perhaps he feels he must sacrifice a part of himself and feels vulnerable in doing so. If so, perhaps affirming your commitment and opening dialogue so you can each communicate your reason(s), needs and emotions would bring about a mutual agreement based on the needs of both individuals. By offering each an understanding of the other’s perspective and underlying emotions this communication can be source of building in the relationship.

I add this only because intuition is a feminine quality. Women can be unconscious that it usually must be activated and developed in males. From past experience I now know verbal communication is important in relationships. My past mate often remarked ‘Quit reading my mind”. Of course I couldn’t read his mind. I would, unconsciously, know what he felt, wanted, was about to say, from his non verbal communication and stored knowledge of him. The disconnect was due to my unrealistic expectation he possessed the same ability to read me. This led to a total lack of verbal communication on my part and contributed to the discourse in the relationship. Not at all saying you do this! Only that sometimes intuitives don't fully engage in verbal communication because this aspect lends to unconscious communication.

Through your contributions at the Forum you’re already aware this could be close or not at all. Please let me know your thoughts. If not close perhaps with your feedback we can look more closely and discover the meaning.

Kind regards,
Kathy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43 Central OH

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

Re: disturbing

Hi Kathy,

I will try to answer to your response as best as I can :-)

1. I agree that the masculine face of the girl is symbolising my need to be stronger emotionally. I have had these dreams occuring a couple of times, feeling the need to be stronger etc. I am not sure, I am finding this difficult to grasp, I know that for me to be stronger I wouldn't want to loose my feminine qualities but perhaps my unconscious is struggling with this or is afraid.
2. I am not sure if as a child I have kept my emotions repressed, but I remember some moments from my childhood where I was upset by my parents, seeing them arguing, or because my mother has told me off and I have kept it to myself, feeling vulnerable and wrong. These days however I can't speak to her about many things but I am quite open I think with and to my boyfriend.
3. I agree that repressing emotions is a false shield, personally I have lately said that to my boyfriend that if i don't speak about how I feel, I tend to feel quite vulnerable, lost and in need to dramatise. I have said that to him only because we had a misunderstanding a few days ago.
4. Perhaps the feminine need to get to the bone is too extreme - yes...maybe, I don't know. I know that I think this is what I need, but my emotions tell me it's too much to deal with at once and on my own. Therefore I think I rely on my boyfriend too much when things get out of hand a bit between us, I rely on him for emotional support. I also rely on him for emotional support throughout other problems ie. when i am being upset by my family members which tended to happen often at times, or any other little struggles.
5. On the personal level:
I didn't want to say at the end of my post after the dream that I feel the dream related to my recent misunderstanding with my boyfriend. I wanted to see what response I could get. But I agree it relates to that situation I think it occured a few days ago between myself and my boyfriend. I did say to him that I need his support when I feel vulnerable and yet he didn't want to talk about our conflict because he wasn't ready. Many times though he comforted me and supported me when I got in a bit of a confrontation with my mother, but this time when it came to 'our' conflict between us, he wasn't sure what to say to me and how to comfort me this time when he too was feeling upset and when it invloved the two of us in the conflict.
We have talked about this together the day after and we discovered we have different needs that are the extreme opposite i.e I need to talk about things whereas he needs time out. We came into a bit of a dead end when we are not sure how to tackle this.
6. I must say I was hoping the dream would give me some new insight, it only seemed to tell me what I alrady know, i.e my needeness, his repression...
it's sad though to think that he might feel that he's sacrificing a part of himself to prove something to me.

Thank you Kathy for your response, let me know if you can what you think about my response. I thank you for helping me in trying to respond to many of my dreams.
Cheers
Magdalena

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23 Melbourne Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} F

Re: disturbing

Hi Magdalena,

I tend to take the view that dreams offer us very powerful images that represent parts of us. Perhaps the more intense the energy, the more this part of us needs to be acknowledged.

With this view in mind, we could say, the basement represents part of you...the unconcious or even subconscious, the couple in the basement; also parts of you. One part of you asked another part of you to prove something, but the test seems extremely painful and rather self-destructive. How much anger there is directed inward for someone to cut of a piece of his or her own flesh, and then stand coldy by and grate it with totally detachment? And for someone to ask someone to do that to themselves?

Are you angry with yourself? Is part of you punishing you, or making you do self-destructive (on an emotional level) things out of raw anger or rage or a challenge to prove something? Is there something you may feel you need to prove to yourself on a raw emotional level?

Also, in your more recent dream..the colors black and red stand out. The could also symbolize depression and anger. When we are depressed we sometimes turn our anger inward and if not expressed properly can be self-destructive. In your more recent dream though..you were sorting and shaping and cutting the stones...a more empowered position to be in.

Perhaps unexpressed anger from being treated unfairly by your mother? Or the challenges of a relationship causing you maybe to feel frustrated. Men and women are different, and sometimes it takes men longer to identify and process their feelings especially in a moment of conflict with a significant other, and women are more able to process express and want the other person to talk about what happened, right then and there, and when that doesn't happen it can feel very painful and vulnerable and personal to a woman. For the man, he may just need space...or the emotions maybe too much, that's why its easier to give support when the conflict isn't about you with him, but you with your mom. Also, relationships can bring up unhealed feelings from our relationship with our parents...not very fun sometimes.....
There's a book called Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus which explains these differences between men and women in a helpful way.

I hope this helps. Let me know either way.
Best regards,
May

p.s. exposing his bone is interesting..that is a very deep level of exposure.. vulnerability. Bones represent ancient and living indestructable wisdom. You can face a tremendous level of emotion and still remain..'ok, still alive.' Women who run with the Wolves talks alot about the deep meaning of Bones as indestructable.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 35

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

Re: disturbing

Thanks May,

I think the two of your responses to my dream were very helpful. I appreciate that you read both of my dream in detail, thank you.
At the moment I feel a bit overwhelmed. You may be right in many ways.

Cheers
Magdalena

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23 Melbourne Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} F

Re: disturbing

Hi Magda,

1. I’m at the same threshold in regards to animus development. While I require this the feminine is wary of crossing the line aware of possible over development. It’s a delicate balance I have not yet achieved. It is our feminine capacity for emotion that is so positive and life renewing. I’m sure you have that inner strength within you which you do draw upon. It’s often while we’re in the midst of a situation or change it’s there we are simply unable to see it. Only after, when the moment has passed, that our eyes open to the real strength we exhibited in any given situation.

2/3/4. The parental influence is powerful however not totally defining. I think all have witnessed discord in our parents’ relationships between them and between child and parents. It’s a part of life all experience. This has likely had a positive effect in your adult life as you ARE open with your boyfriend.

Sometimes we have a tendency to push harder than we should. Possibly the weariness of continuing along the same while conscious of the ideal creates this unsettled condition. Often I think ‘I know what it is, why can’t I just BE it?” and become impatient with my Self. The slow gradual steps really are necessary. This process allows for examination of the deep underlying causations to effect the lasting change in the Psyche. Liken it to building a house. Each part and system relies on completion of the prior step. Without this process the house could not be built. By engaging your gentle and kind feminine in leadership you will, step by step, achieve your ideals. The emotional support from you partner is a wonderful aspect of the relationship. Some things are difficult to bear without support from mates, family or friends. And outside perspectives offer us views of which we may not be conscious. As you progress you will experience the change you seek.

5. You may be at a bit of an advantage in the situation. Your interest in dreams and desire to know the inner Self, and psychology, lends to more open communication on your part. I too was a time out person because I needed time alone to organize my thoughts and experience my feelings in private. Possibly continuing to communicate that you value him, are willing to listen and be non judgmental and offer him the time he needs will encourage him and eventually lead to the balance you seek.

6. Its very possible this is not how he feels but how you perceive him to feel. I believe in your dream and response you HAVE offered much insight. Knowing where to go, actually seeing an issue as an issue, is sometimes the hardest part and most crucial step. It offers a starting point for new direction.

The first line of your dream, “a young couple, who were musicians playing in the same band. They were downstairs somewhere in a basement perhaps, talking.” speaks volumes about your relationship and connection, you are joined at an unconscious level and the communication is there. It just requires a minor adjustment.

I hope this was useful. You give much of your Self in posting your dreams and in depth discussions.
Our Journey’s are not dissimilar. It’s not an easy process, opening our inner most Self and life to the world. If it were easy, the Forum would not exist for us to support and learn from each other.

Kind regards,
Kathy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43 Central OH

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

Re: Re: disturbing

Hi Magdalena,

Thank you for your feedback. I'm so happy my interpretations were helpful.

I actually didn't see your reply until I had posted some responses to several of your dreams, so I hope my thoughts were on the right track.

You are OK and you will be OK. Just take good care of yourself and stay with your dreams. I think the advice that people offered you here is good and valuable so I can't add much to it except to say your dreams are yielding more and more positive images as you continue, and also showing you guidance where you need to do some work.

Use all your resources, including the MDS Forum.

Take care Magdalena,
May

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 35

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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