A dream I had last night, was similar to my previous dreams in that I dream of my mother arguing with me and screaming at me. In this dream after a similar argument, I remember my mother was going to have a bath, outside in a bathtub, it was a sunny day. I remember leaning over the bathtub, but I wasn’t sure why I was there, to scrub her back?
I had a feeling that my mum wasn’t there, or that there was a transformation of her presence. I remember seeing water in the tub, a bar of soap or a pumice stone, and a voice screaming to me.
I thought that my mum became so small that she was barely there, hiding in the crack of the pumice stone or the bar of soap.
She was screaming to me, to help her??? But how…

I am interested in this transformation, and the change in size of the person.
I had a similar dream the night before, there was my mother, me and a woman who use to be her friend, but for a long time know they haven’t spoken after a disagreement. Anyway we were in the woman’s house and she was cooking, frying meat over a pan. She wasn’t listening to my mum speaking to her, but after a while the woman was no longer there, disappeared or became so small, barely noticeable, hiding in the meat dish?

Any ideas anyone?

I think that maybe this dream of my mother and the tub may relate to my feelings at the moment, I feel that I need to help her somehow, or that she’s struggling.
I know she’s not happy with her job and the people who work there, or sometimes with her husband. Many times she complains, or has lately said that there are many people who get on her nerves and bother her.
I feel though that she has conditioned herself to react negatively too often.
Is she asking me to help?

cheers
Magdalena

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 24 Australia

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Hi Magdalena,
Could this dream show allowing trivial (small) things to irritate her so perhaps diminishes her self in doing so?

May I inquire to your mother’s age? Is she in peri menopause or menopause? Irritability and mood fluctuations can be symptoms of peri/menopause. Sleep deprivation from sleep disturbances (frequent waking, inability to return to sleep, insomnia) and night sweats can wreck havoc on the waking demeanor. If so, there are things you can do to support her. Let me know & I'll send you some links to sites.

Regarding the dream...cleansing something, bringing it to consciousness, something contained in the uncosncious, 'barely'conscious of it...

Kind regards,
Kathy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43 Central OH

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Hi Magdalena,

I am wondering if this change in your dream theme is reflecting a transformation in you as well, regarding your feelings about both your real life mother and your inner mother. I had a sense from before that your relationship with your mom has been a little rocky lately and I gather it is probably a complex relationship.

You may have internalized a negative aspect of your mother from some time in your lifetime. Perhaps all the dreamwork you are doing has begun to liberate you a bit from that....the emotional space 'she' , I mean the inner mother here, that she was taking up inside you is less....shrinking...invisible...yet she still holds a presence. The screaming also testifies to a negative presence.

My advice: Free yourself from the 'negative inner mother' so that you can more clearly encounter your real life mother daily. I have faith that you have begun to do so...you seem to have a real sense of compassion for your mother in real life, wanting to help her, and this reflects your ability to see her objectively, for her limits as a human being and thus further free you from the 'inner negativity'.

You were helping her with her bath in your dream. The bath in real life is a place where we renew, cleanse, relax ourselves. Can we apply those things to what you need to do with your real life mother, and your 'inner mother'?

Magdalena, I believe mother-daughter relationships are very powerful, and depending on your relationship with your mother, the nature of the relationship would determine what you have internalized and your ability to individuate from that. Your dreams are here to heal and guide you. The emotions you feel in your dreams can be emotions you feel in real life but are unable, afraid, scared to express openly. (Keep a journal.)

As you are honest with yourself, you have the ability to heal what needs to be healed in terms of past or current negativity and still have a relationship with your mom that is mutually fulfilling and based on her limitations of what she can and cannot offer you.

As you work to heal this 'inner mother' you are also healing other very important parts of your soul, integrating them. You do have the power and resources to transform your dream mother, and in doing so your relationship with your real life mother will be more and more mutually fulfilling. I believe this.

Keep positive and do share any feedback, so I can learn to be better at dream interpretation.

Take care Magdalena,

Psyche

Also Magdalena,

This may sound harsh, but in a healthy mother- daughter relationship, it is the mother who is thinking of being there for her daughter. I do not know your exact situation and of course its great when children help their parents, but you must be well grounded in the fact that as children, we were created to be nurtured and cared for by our parents and not the other way around. As adults we have a choice, but as children if the situation was reversed, perhaps so many of our needs have gone unmet.

So, see if this applies to you. By all means, help your mother. But please, also take good care of yourself and your needs. If your mother did not/cannot meet your needs, its up to you now to take good care of yourself.

Use all your resources and stay positive,

Psyche

Kathy and Psyche,
thank you for replying, and I am sorry but I have been delayed in replying.
Kathy, my mum is 47, she is not in menopause stage, perhaps peri menopause?? I don't think so yet..
But I would likely say that it is her character, the way she gets upset quickly, starts screaming because she cannot control her emotions. This doesn't happen always, don't think that she is some kind of enraged person, but I think during her childhood and her early marriage she didn't feel that her mother cared enough, and my mum being born a girl among 4 boys, felt protected I guess but perhaps not in womanly way, yet still protected by her older brothers.
She doesn't get the support from her husband and I see that, and I know she took it hard 4 years ago when I met my boyfriend and started going out, she felt she was loosing me, and that this man wasn't the right person for me, she wanted to protect me from him.
Psyche, I think this dream may have something to do with our relationship, yes at times I am angry and although we don't argue as much any more, almost rarely, I don't get upset as much, but sometimes I have these dreams when I wake up with tears in my eyes, and I have these dreams now and then, every month perhaps, where we argue and she screams at me.
I am trying to free myself from 'the negative inner mother' but perhaps sometimes I don't know how, and the past haunts me.
Belive me my mother looked after me, but like every child I had the not so great memories as well. I know I am her child not the other way around, but I am not a child anymore, I am an adult, and I want to help her if I can but sometimes I am upset with her for the way she is, for the things she said in the past.
We, humans are so designed by our past experiences, it is hard to alter the way we look at things.
thank you Kathy and Psyche, you have been both helpful,
take care
Magda

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 24 Australia

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