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Unpleasant Dreams/Nightmares(Adult Content)

Hello All, :)
First let me say that I am in therapy but my counselor says he does not "specialize" in dreams, and so he does not know how he can help me.

About a year ago I started having nightmares infrequently of being raped by my father (and he wasn't around much as I was a child), I would cry and beg him to stop in my dreams, it was in my childhood home, and he would chase me up the stares and force me to have sex (anal as well)with him, the problem is I would wake up crying because the dreams are so traumatic but I would be turned on sexually, and disgusted with myself. It is so embarrassing because I swear I HATE these dreams. They were very infrequent at first.

Now for the past 4 months I have dreams every night, nightmares I would call them where I am being forced into sex by various family members(men)and even by more than one man at the same time, and seldom other people will also force sexual acts on me(women). I wake up so upset, distraught, I feel guilty and disgusting. These dreams truly are nightmares for me.

Sometimes I think the dreams are real, as though I am looking at a memory and I am calling myself names, like whore, pervert, stupid girl and various other things. I am so upset with myself for letting them rape me. Then I wake up and realize it was just a dream. I have them every night and sometimes more than once. They are making me lose sleep.

The dreams are horrible, I hate having them and I don't know what to do to stop them. I swear I do not have any sexual desire for any of my family members, I read on here that dreams about rape/incest could be a direct representation of feelings that I have, but I would never want those things to happen and I am terribly distraught by this.

I am sorry this is so long, I am at the end of my rope!

Does any body have any advice for how I can prevent these dreams, or to what these dreams mean?

P.S. As far as I know I was never sexually abused as a child.

Thanks for any help I get.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 22, Michigan

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Re: Unpleasant Dreams/Nightmares(Adult Content)

Whether or not your counselor 'specialises' in dreams I am surprised that he/she has not asked you to talk and explain your feelings about these dreams.
A good counselor would see how this is concerning you and discuss the symbols and emotions involved.
Discuss this with your counselor and express your concerns about whether your feelings and the signifiers (symbols) that have meaning for you are being taken into account.

You are seeing yourself as a victim in the dreams and sex involved either aggression and/or fear.
If you have not yet done this with your counselor I would suggest discuss feelings about your sexuality and issues of intimacy with your counselor to see if they made indeed be some repressed memories in your past.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 37 UK

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Re: Unpleasant Dreams/Nightmares(Adult Content)

Wow, someone finally (I only mean that I am sure you understand I was anxious) read and responded to my post. Thank you

I brought up dreams and told him that they were disturbing me and that they involved my father, he didn't ask me to describe them or anything. Just told me that he does not specialize with dreams. I get the impression that he is relatively inexperienced, but it is what I can afford at the moment.

Do you know what the dreams could be a representation of?

Thanks for your advice and help,

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 22, Michigan

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Re: Unpleasant Dreams/Nightmares(Adult Content)

Tinkster,

What follows is only my personal observation/therory about rape, not scientific fact. In waking life rape is about power and control, through a distorted form of empathy via transference. A rapist perceives them self as being powerless, or was/is being contolled by another. So by exercising power and/or control of another, the rapist 'gains' what is 'missing' or imbalanced. I use quotations because the rapist doesn't really gain or balance the inner imbalance. They only exacerbate the psychological imbalance never resolving the source, only acting out the imbalance.

Additionally, dream symbols are usually metaphors, not literal. Looking at a two symbols in your dream, these possibilities come to mind:
1. rape: power, control, excessive desire, unrestrained
2. family members: a group, possibly peers, the male gender en masse, society,
3.

So, to look at your dream with this perspective...

The dream may communicate an excessive desire for power or control due to an inordinate feeling of being powerless or lacking control. That the dream characters are familial may indicate this feeling of powerlessness or of being controlled originates with a group, not necessarily your family but I wouldn't rule out family either. This could be peers, work group, society at large, etc. Possibly you feel defenseless or at the mercy of a group. Specifically what group and what the action could be is likely personal. Since the unconscious uses most frequently uses male authority figures, that would be a good place to begin examining waking life experiences. Personal being something specific to you, so only you could determine these.

Now, about the arousal experienced upon waking. The physical body can be likened to a machine comprised of many separate but wholly interconnected systems. It's possible physical stimulus in the dream activates the arousal. Another possiblity is the inordinate desire of power and control so stimulates the arousal.

Look to the days preceeding and of the dream. Examine events and situations that could be triggering the nightmares. Look for situations where inside you felt a deep desire for power or control, possibly because you felt powerless or controlled by another. This will help you identify the issue and group.

As always, a dream interpretation is only a possibility. It may or may not be close, that is for you, the dreamer, to decide.

Kind regards,
Kathy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 44 Central OH

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Re: Unpleasant Dreams/Nightmares(Adult Content)

I don't know what this dream means, but just to share with you I had dreams like that before too, but not as frequent as you do. I dreamt about being aroused by my father, perhaps once or twice.
Maybe it tells you something about your relationship with him, with your close family and loved ones.
Like Kathy said, it is partially about power, and role play in relationships. Father to daughter relationships and so on.
It will definately help you to find out what they mean, and the frequency of these dreams is trying to tell you something, but don't let these dreams get to you and become nightmares.
They will pass and you will become a stronger person.
take care
M

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 24 Melbourne Australia

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Re: Unpleasant Dreams/Nightmares(Adult Content)

Hello. :) Thank you all for your interpretations!

I'm pretty sure that it is not about control, although it could be. I might just be blind to that.

Under normal conditions I am not aroused by my father, he is the type of man that most women are disgusted by. An abusive alcoholic, tempermental, mean and he has never been there for me. My feelings for him are conflicted as I want to love him the way a daughter loves a dad but it is prevented by the actions he has taken my whole life.

Hopefully I find the answer to why I am having these nightmares soon,
Thanks again
Tink

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 22, Michigan

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