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an ongoing theme

i was at work, and it was slow (like it was today) and the lunch interim was somewhere in the day, but i didnt know when.

i selfishly decided i needed my break right then, and casually strolled out to get away. i felt very constricted,

constrained, like i had no choices anymore. it felt liberating, although i knew that i was going to get in trouble, and

feared that, but just didnt care, and stayed on my path and took a nice long break. i went in an elevator down to the

bottom floor, and walked out to a more solitary area by the railroads. There were swings directly across from the

railtracks, and i begun to swing, and as the train came past, i screamed at the top of my lungs, and kept screaming, until

it had passed, and i knew i needed to stop screaming. i did run into my assistant manager who had asked me if that was my

lunch, and i nodded (even though it might not have been) and she looked skeptical but didn't say much else. i didn't

disobey because i wanted ill affect on my company and manager. i disobeyed because i felt trapped, suffocated, and so

unable to let down and be myself that i had to bottle everything up, and then scream when the only time i felt comfortable

to let my frustrations out, hidden in the loud fury of a train.

this has been a ongoing struggle within me, whereas (usually work) has an effect of making me feel psychologically suffocated and then i just want to rebel, and either not do the work at all, or try to get away with things, but it is most definitely out of suffocation rather than malintent. i think this dream has insight on that specific theme, but i'm not quite sure what else it is trying to highlight upon. one other thing. me and my sister would oftentimes go swining at the park when we were teenagers (it was one of the most fun things i remember, and sometimes was an attempt 'to get out of the house') simple dream, but i thought important enough to get more insight into.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 28, austin texas

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes

Re: an ongoing theme

lux,
The on going theme you speak of seems to have been addressed in your narrative. You need a break and feel constricted. Although there is fear you are not as worried that there may be consequences, if you could only remove those things that confine you.

Since you are feeling suffocated in your waking life, the restriction you feel and desire to get away from the confinement is addressed in your dreams, and narrative. Past positive experiences {swinging with your sister} are used as an example of how life once was. But now you feel suffocated and long for those innocent times. The desire is to return to those more innocent times. That may not be possible but getting to a place where life is less confining may be.

The scream may be what you need to let out. Bottling things up only adds to the confinement of these negative aspects in your life. I suggest you look at the post Exhausted for further insights. You seem to be in teh same boat as Exhausted.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 56 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

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