I've never reached out for help with dreams before, but I've had the same very intense dream 2 nights in a row. I normally don't even recall what I've dreamt, but this one is detailed and intense. I hope some one can shed some light on it because I'm still experiences the dread and fear I woke with.
I'm at a meeting with 5 women and 1 man. I know that the man is married to 1 of the women. After the meeting, (I don't have a clue what the meeting was about) the man meets me at my van and ask me up to his room for a drink. I laugh and say yeah right! Does your wife know and he kisses me and I don't care anymore that he's married. This man is beautiful and he touches and kisses me just right.
As we get to his room, his wife is there, and she smiles and tells me she's glad I'm there. Then they both tell me there's something I MUST see. They walk me to a huge closet/pantry full of weapons and drugs. The wife then hangs her head and tells me she's sorry and walks away, I notice then that my hands are bound and I feel like I'm not really in my body, like I've been drugged. The man kisses my forhead and says it'll be ok, I love you. He then gives me a shot of something that makes me seem even further away and numb. He then begins to rape me, but its not rape in the violent way, its very pleasurable, its just that I don't want it and can't stop it and know its wrong. When he's done, he slices my body all over with a scalpel. Tiny cuts all over me. It seems there's blood everywhere. I'm weak from the drugs and the blood loss. He repeats this cycle 3 times. Each time he gives me a shot of something, rapes me, then cuts me. At the end of the dream, he carries me to my van and puts me in the driver's seat and gets in himself on the passenger side. I'm so weak I can barely hold my head up. He kisses me again on the forehead and tells me he loves me and it's all going to be ok and that he wants to die with me. The van is moving, I'm not really driving it, I just realize its going down the road. He reaches over and slits my throat and I try then to grab the steering wheel, but its slick with blood and I can't control the van, but I'm still so out of it, I hardly care. We go off the road, down an embankment and I can feel the heat of the fire that has engulfed the van. I know I am dead and the seperation of my body feeling becomes more intense. I float in my mind and know that I'm dead.
Can someone please tell me anything about this? From boring old I don't remember my dreams to this twice in a row has overwhelmed me!
Thank you for any help!!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 41, Nashville, TN

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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Teresa,
The dream symbols present several possible interpretations. May I ask a few personal questions?

1. Are you married or in a long term relationship? If so, does your partner dominate the relationship?

2. Or have you experienced a succession of unfulling relationships with different partners?

Kind regards,
Kathy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 44 Central OH

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How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Y

I don't mind at all! I appreciate your help!

I have been with the same man off and on for 20 years. We were married in 87 and divorced in 89. I hung in there with him because we had 2 kids during our marriage. I wanted them to have and to know their daddy. He's very even tempered and loving with them. But with me, its been very tumultuous. He has a hair trigger temper. You never know what you're going to get from him, he'll either give you his shirt off his back or let loose with a list of your shortcomings. I asked him to leave in October. We still see each other every now and then. Even now, if we're together over 24 hours, he begins to pick at old wounds and go over the same old same old. I feel like at one time, he was dominat in my life, but since I got myself together and asked him to leave, I felt pretty good about it!

Don't know if this sheds any light or not, but...

I haven't been in any other relationships. As odd as it sounds, I did sort of "fall" for someone who I never met, but speak to at work almost daily, but it was over the phone and computer only. He is, or presents himself to be totally the opposite of what I've been used to. I don't why, but in July, he changed towards me. I went from knowing I was very important to him to not hearing from him. Its embarassing, but I am having a horrible time missing his friendship or whatever we did have. Half the time I miss him and I know heartache, the rest of the time, I just want to call him and ask him what exactly happened!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 41, Nashville, TN

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? No

Teresa,
Thank you for responding and supplying the personal information. The dream addresses the relationship with your ex, the conflicts, and the best part, a transformation in Self as it relates to the relationship.

The man represents your husband, the wife as you. This part of you regrets the past continuing involvement with your ex. The closet represents the psychological tools, armament, of your ex and the drugs, perhaps the Self tools used to numb the emotional pain. You felt bound to him, and by him, as a result of your desire to keep his involvement with the children. Was there a time when you feared ending your involvement in the relationship would result in him severing the connection to the children?

Being numb and feeling not in your body could be a type of disassociation. Attempting to remove your Self from a psychologically painful experience.
“very pleasurable” could describe your involvement, that if some form you engaged in this unhealthy relationship (which is likely due to a past psychological trauma) so therefore did not end it even though “I don't want it and can't stop it and know its wrong.”

Little cuts are the list of shortcomings he would use to effect emotional pain, they are small but numerous and worked to weaken you.

The cycle of three could hold personal meaning, three children? possibly inferred by the beginning as a meeting of five – three children, you and their father. (Three girls?) Or three times you’ve attempted to end the relationship.

In dreams blood, death and fire are rarely literal. Blood is a life source. The blood letting led to a new life. Death often denotes transformation/change. Fire is symbolic for cleansing. Transformation or change is achieved through difficult and often times painful realizations.

This time you achieve the goal overcoming the psychological barriers to ending the relationship through will power. Not at all bad and to be commended! Although, I caution without addressing and resolving the psychological source of why you continued to engage in the relationship, this could repeat again in a future relationship.

Perhaps examine what it is you seek in the relationship with this new man. Ask your Self the questions, why, what, where, when and how, and wait for the answers to come to you. Most likely through your dreams! Then you will understand the nature of this new sought relationship.

I hope this helps explain the dream and message. Please feel free to respond with your thoughts.

Kind regards,
Kathy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 44 Central OH

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How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Y

Wow!! I feel pretty silly now. Its rather plain even to me since you've lent your insight to it! I thank you very much. If I have the dream again, maybe I won't wake up in a cold sweat and scared. I'll have to do some thinking about the cycle of 3. 3 holds no significance to me, except while typing this, I realize that what I hold important, my relationship to my children would make 3. Myself and the two of them? In re-reading this, I did fail to mention one more point that still kind of bugs me. All the cuts were below the breasts. Never the face neck or breasts, until the last cut, across my throat. Do you have any thoughts on that aspect?

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 41, Nashville, TN

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? No

Teresa,
Yes, keep mulling the dream and 3 cycles. The meaning will eventually become clear. I continually work my past dreams finding new depths of meaning years later.

The location of cuts could symbolize hiding or hidden within, hiding from sight, the body areas normally clothed. Also, perhaps hiding negative aspects of adult relationships from the children as a form of protection.

From MDS Dream Dictionary:

Throat - Perhaps it symbolizes some part of you that needs to be expressed. Soreness or tension in the throat may indicate conflict between head and heart, intellect and emotion or instinct, or between the conscious mind and the unconscious also see neck

Or it could symbolize the final act that brought about your decision. Perhaps some action that was the last straw...

Dreams speak in metaphors. Once they are viewed as such, and Jung's analytical depth psychology applied in interpretation, dreams no longer need to be a source of fear. But rather a gateway into knowing the inner Self.

Kind regards,
Kathy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 44 Central OH

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How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Y

Thank you so very much for your time and your great insight. I'll start paying more attention to my dreams. I think I've been missing out on something for a long time now!
Blessed be!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 41, Nashville, TN

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? No

This dream may be the result of worrys you havn't realized you have(subconsious). Do you know someone who does drugs or cuts themselves? Do you cut or do drugs? Or you may be having some relationship problems? (sex?) Its probably not as extream as in your dream, but dreams take things out of proportion sometimes. Your dream might even be influenced by what you talked about with friends, or films you have seen. Watch a film that you like, something not violent...preferably... and dont eat before you go to bed. It disturbs your sleep because your still digesting. good luck. xxx

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 17 surrey

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female