Hey....anyone who can suggest any type of resource for a friend whom was in a serious motorcycle accident.
We are watching him spiral into depression and anger about life's unfairness.

I guess need ANYTHING to help us help him keep going!!!

Dealing with the medical aspect in skin graphs, infections, corrective surgeries, pain management, etc. Also, wife left him due to accident and him becoming wheelchair bound.

HELP!!! Our friend is hurting and we are at a loss for what to do to help!!!???

Pain Management: Frequently Asked Questions

1) Should I take pain medication only when I have a lot of pain?
No. Don't wait until pain becomes severe to take pain medication. Pain is easier to control when it is mild. You should take your pain medication regularly, just as prescribed. Sometimes this means taking medicine on a regular schedule.

2) Will I become addicted to narcotic pain medications?
Not necessarily, if you take your medication exactly as prescribed. A person's likelihood of becoming addicted depends, in part, on his or her addiction history. Addiction is less likely if you have never had an addictive disorder. Ask your doctor about any concerns you may have.

Learn more about addiction.

3) Why do I need to keep taking more of my medicine to have the same effect?
This situation occurs when you have developed tolerance to a drug. Tolerance is a normal physiological response to narcotics and occurs when the initial dose of a substance loses its effectiveness over time. Changing the dose or the medication often solves the problem. Just because you have become tolerant to a drug does not mean that you are addicted to that drug.

4) Should I tell my medical provider that I am having pain?
Yes. Your provider needs to assess your pain, so it is very important for your health care team to know if you are in pain.

5) Some days my acute pain is much worse. What can I do?
You might notice at times that you are in more pain than usual (such as at the end of a tiring day or as a result of certain activities). If you notice that certain activities contribute to your pain, or that you feel worse at certain times of the day, medication can be taken prior to the activity (or time of day) to help prevent the pain from occurring. Always be sure to follow your doctor's instructions.

6) How can I tell my doctor how much pain I am in?
The best way is to describe your pain as clearly and in as much detail as you possibly can. Most doctors and nurses ask you to describe your level of pain on a scale.

7) What can my friends and family do to help?
Friends and family can benefit you by helping you to live as normally and independently as possible.

8) Do I have to suffer with chronic pain for the rest of my life?
Not necessarily. With proper treatment, people can live full, normal lives after having experienced chronic pain.

First off, print out my webpage and show it to him.
You can find it here: http://home.earthlink.net/~bdmpastx/

The depression can be a bitch. What needs to happen is that he needs to do everything he can to occupy his mind. Have him stick to task that he can handle and keep him busy. The idle time is when depression gets worse in my personal experiences. If I don't have time to think about it, then it doesn't sneak its head around. He needs to see a counselor. They typically have one around the rehab places and the hospital depending on where he is currently staying. If he is in a nursing home, then getting out of that level of depression is going to be harder to overcome.

A lot of domestic partners end up leaving their spouse after a major accident. It isn't anything new. A lot of it comes from the depression. Typically, the injured person will release their anger onto the person they love. Who wants to be yelled at? Another reason is the nursing aspect. When the spouse has to become your nurse, most of them cannot handle it and it isn't fair to them. He will need to do things he on his own. Once he has some task and purpose in life, things should start to change. Also, many people say that the first 2 years are the worse. I am nearing my 3rd year since my accident and I think that the worse year was changed when I was able to drive again.

Sharon, I am not a counselor so please take my words with that in mind.

Your friend is feeling angry in addition to depressed. He is angry at a lot of things, including himself. Love and understanding are the only things that will help with this.

He is also feeling embarrased. Even through the pain, injuries, anger, and everything else anyone in a motorcycle accident will feel embarrased. To help with this let him know that you care for him and that what happened was just an accident. He needs to feel that people dont look at him as doing something stupid. I felt this way after my accident.

Also, try to keep people from asking him if he will ride again. It just adds to the embarrasment, and puts him in a position of either defending himself or admitting he might not be able to do something he loves, which is also very embarrasing.

Here is my sincere recomendation. talk to him about how much fun it is going to be once he recovers and he can ride again with you and his other brothers/sisters. Let him kow that you believe that he will fully recover, even if you are told or know he wont. No one wants to live day to day knowing that there is no possability of anything near a normal life. There is enough reality taking place after the accident that even if you present a little fantasy he will go with you into it.

Hope this helps.

I left something out. Dont degrade the loser wife in front of him. He does not need that. If the subject comes up try to change the subject and always take care to respect her choice, even if we all know it was wrong. Some people are just not equipped to deal with any outplacement in their lives. I am sure that he loved this woman very much and her loss is like a death to him. Remind him of his life and how much more of it you will be enjoying with him.

Also, you might try a few cycle options on the wheel chair. Chroming out a chair will cost a little but anything that brings a loved part of his life into his new reality should help. I recommend rear view mirrors, emblems, wheel nuts, etc. After all, all proud bikers need awesome wheels, even if they are on a chair.