hi, chad,

i wanted to thank you for what you chose to post on this site. i am sorry for your struggles, and i can match you for a few of them. i was a passenger on a bike that was hit by a driver who passed out from a diabetic seizure and crossed over the median of a highway in austin, texas. we were both moving in excess of 70mph, according to witnesses-- and the crash was a big splash of bike and bodies, with mine ending up in the ditch about a foot ahead of the bike.

i have an above the knee amputation with what they were able to construct to give me part of my right leg--it's a metal pin, now. my entire pelvic area was crushed and reconstructed and my scarring resembles a badly sewn raggedy ann doll with a poorly attached leg. it's not pretty and i am still in a lot of pain.
it's been over three months since i burned through my leathers and left some expanse of freckles on that highway. i am still being fitted for my prosthesis and i am staying with my father while i recover.

my former breeding partner, in all his brilliance, decided it would be a great opportunity to pounce and served me with 'ex parte' papers to gain emergency and eventual permanent custody of our six-year son. i had raised luc on my own, as his dad was an active alcoholic, with five rounds through treatment under his belt. i was still on the trauma floor in austin, with a six-inch open wound, when i was served with those papers. one of his 'proofs' of my lack of parenting ability was that i had 'biker' friends and was therefore an incompetent parent. he had taken photos from my myspace page of some of my more tattooed brothers as evidence. one of those photos was of my dear friend fritz, who died that day. it was his brothers and sisters who rose to the challenge and had a benefit within seven days of the accident to help me and my dad offset some of the costs of the travel, the bills, et al. it was held at dally's in austin, and i hope i'm spelling that right, as i'm a minnesota native and was just learning the territory down in austin.

some of the bikers i met through fritz were patch holders, and some of them weren't. but they were the ones who showed up. they were the ones who gave what they could. i woke up in austin to an entire family i didn't know i had. i came back to minnesota without them, and my dad and i are doing the best we can. i don't know if i'll be able to ride again--it hurts to sit in a car or on a chair for too long. but i know the struggle of raising a child on my own and i am still learning what it takes to heal.

as i work to massage and loosen the extensive scarring around my leg and across my abdomen, i realized the scarring is an apt metaphor for the emotional damage that remains from the crash. fritz has been cremated. the bike parts have been gathered by his brothers to live on in other rides. and i am still here, working to soften the scars. living to heal.

i would be grateful to hear more about how you've survived and lived since your crash and how you care for your daughter on your own. i hear you when you talk about being 'broken' and whether or not you can find a woman who might accept you as you are.

thanks,

j

Hi Chad!

Great to hear back from you! Sounds like you sure have your plate full! Now, I must say, You could inspire many men with your determination, morals, since of responsibility, and most of all, love for your daughter. You get it. She is the greatest thing you've ever done, and the primary reason for your being!
Having her to inspire you to continue through life is better therapy than any shrink could give. I would personally like to applaud you for standing up to diversity, and having the strength to see the bigger picture.
It sounds like you were very lucky with what you went through. My accident always seems so minimal when I compare to how massive others like you dealt with. You know, that's what impressed me most with this site. I saw myself deserving to be told to shut up, move on, & stop whining by people much more worse off than me......but they didn't. They understand that at all levels of loss, support is essential. I praise them all for understanding.
It's so cool how you moved on. I'll lose 2 summers of Ohio riding, but starting to make plans of shopping this winter for what will be my new ride. '09 will be better.
The info you can offer on the process of healing is just what this site needs.(and more people visiting) As you scan around, you see helpful suggestions on how to set up the bike, equip yourself with needed tools, or adjust to new situations aimed at your riding future.(Ain't that what it's all about!) How cool is that!
I sure understand the time element needed to web serf. I bought this lap top, and got on line back in Jan. It gave me a sense of strength through knowledge after the first 7 months of dealing with healing. It got me here. (great move!) I've returned to work as a truck driver delivering groceries to stores all over my area. Getting back in the groove and dealing with the hours has been rough. Not much time for anything else during the week, but I'm Soooo glad to be back again!
Give any info you can, or choose to, to guide the brothers & sisters on getting past the Hell that is the blessing of surviving. You, & your insight is important. Not to mention your devotion to life itself!
You can start a new Forum, or add to this one. It's your choice & the cool thing is, as you notice, if you add to this one, it rises to the top with a new input & it shows "new" next to it.
I'll keep an eye out for you, and feel free to contact me later. You are an inspiring individual who ranks high on my charts! (where ya from?)
Welcome back! Give that girl a kiss for me!