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                                               Brother Larry Ritchey                      " Free Spirit " Artist: Jillane Curreen

 When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,  to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.  They are there for the reason you need them to be.  Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.  Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.  Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.  What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.  The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.  

There are many different responses to crisis. Most survivors have intense feelings after a traumatic event but recover from the trauma; others have more difficulty recovering — especially those who have had previous traumatic experiences, who are faced with ongoing stress, or who lack support from friends and family — and will need additional help.

What you share in this forum, may prevent that next Accident, that next Casualty

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Re: Need some helpful advice

Sharon, I am not a counselor so please take my words with that in mind.

Your friend is feeling angry in addition to depressed. He is angry at a lot of things, including himself. Love and understanding are the only things that will help with this.

He is also feeling embarrased. Even through the pain, injuries, anger, and everything else anyone in a motorcycle accident will feel embarrased. To help with this let him know that you care for him and that what happened was just an accident. He needs to feel that people dont look at him as doing something stupid. I felt this way after my accident.

Also, try to keep people from asking him if he will ride again. It just adds to the embarrasment, and puts him in a position of either defending himself or admitting he might not be able to do something he loves, which is also very embarrasing.

Here is my sincere recomendation. talk to him about how much fun it is going to be once he recovers and he can ride again with you and his other brothers/sisters. Let him kow that you believe that he will fully recover, even if you are told or know he wont. No one wants to live day to day knowing that there is no possability of anything near a normal life. There is enough reality taking place after the accident that even if you present a little fantasy he will go with you into it.

Hope this helps.

Re: Need some helpful advice

I left something out. Dont degrade the loser wife in front of him. He does not need that. If the subject comes up try to change the subject and always take care to respect her choice, even if we all know it was wrong. Some people are just not equipped to deal with any outplacement in their lives. I am sure that he loved this woman very much and her loss is like a death to him. Remind him of his life and how much more of it you will be enjoying with him.

Also, you might try a few cycle options on the wheel chair. Chroming out a chair will cost a little but anything that brings a loved part of his life into his new reality should help. I recommend rear view mirrors, emblems, wheel nuts, etc. After all, all proud bikers need awesome wheels, even if they are on a chair.