You know, I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent person. I am fairly well adjusted. I'm happily married. I managed to get a college degree and become a professional counselor. I actually help other people with their dysfunctions. So, why can't I fix mine?

I have been a obsessed fan of Lee Majors for 40 years. That's right! 40 years! I said it! I am that old and so is he! I collected every magazine article I could find and surfed all the talk shows for interviews (pre-internet days). I first became aware of him when the Big Valley was re-run in the afternoons on a local station. Once I discovered him there, I realized he was also in the Men from Shiloh and Owen Marshall. I didn't like either of those shows but watched just to see Heath. I absolutely loved Will Penny! Then SMDM started. I hated that show too but never missed it. I thought it was increadibly cheesey but I watched becasue Lee Majors was in it.

But there was always something about LM back then that was a little off puting; he was my Dad's age. He was a helluva lot cooler than my Dad but then...he was as old as my Dad. So, when he got married in the 70's, I discovered via photos in a fan magazine, a new obsession. His son. He had a son my age. That was the absolute coolest thing! He looked exactly like a boy in my class that I had a HUGE crush on. Unfortnately for me, I wouldn't see another image of this kid until he did the diet rite commercial, which only added to the obsession! Now I was on the hunt for anything Jr as well as any evidene that LM was a better father than my Dad.

Now let's think about this guy for a minute. I was a teen in the 70s and in college in the 80's. I am only one year younger than LeeII. Can you imagine what it must have been like for this guy as a teen and college student during Dad's heyday? I garauntee girls were on him like white on rice! What do you bet, his favorite pick up line was, "Hey(visualize a sly smile), ya know my Dad is the Six Million Dollar Man...(pregnant pause, now visualize arch of the eyebrow)...Really." There is enough physical resemblemce to dear old Dad that it would have worked on any girl; esepcially me!

After the Fall Guy went off, time rocked on and I thought little of LM I or II. I had grown up and moved on. For the most part, in the late 80s and most of the 90's, I saw and heard little of them and I didn't look for either. Then one day, my office PC was connected to the internet. I knew nothing about it's use and only managed to use e-mail for several years. Then one fateful day, some bored co-worker forwared a photo of Mr. Hunk Avatar with a rather rude caption. Once again, I went looking!

Well I found this site and haunted it for quite a while. I discovered a lot of old articles and photos that I hadn't seen in years or at all. But a job change filled my time agian and again I forgot about him...until Farrah Fawcett died. Once again I went looking, only this time, I knew how to use the internet. So I decided that the best way to exercise this demon was to just let it go! Search away! Indulge myself until I got sick of it.

Well, I am not sick of it, but I am more than a little emarrased! I haven't found anything bizarre or embarrasing about LM or his family. They seem like normal people, as far as I can tell. The fact that LMII is 47 and looks like he is 35 kind of hurts my feelings. I suppose, though, if I got off my fat ass, started running again, and dropped a couple of tons I could look that good too; only I would be a female version of "that good." Then again, if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass hopping. Anyway, it seems the internet has only made my obsession worse. It is a little frightening what and how much you can find and how long it will keep an obsessed/bored person busy. I started googling my own name to see what I could come up with. Yikes!

So what is it about celebrities that we get so hot and bothered about? When you start digging, they are no different than anyone else. They have family dysfunctions, they have to eat, sleep, use the bathroom, bathe, shave, wipe their butts just like anyone else. They have popularity and wealth, but those really aren't true measures of success. What I find odd, is first we glorify them. Then we become jealous of what we think they are or have and then start to tear them down.

Now, I have no desire to vilify Lee Majors although I have spent quite a bit of time trying to dissect him. But I would like to let go of this obsession! I really wouldn't want someone chasing me around the internet like I've chased him and his family. I don't do this with any other actors. Personal information often ruins the experience of a good show. I actually have a hard time watching anything with Lee Majors in it!

So how do I get rid of this and return to being a normal fan? Maybe I SHOULD start running again. Maybe I need a new job? Then again, maybe I should just get off the internet and go walk my dog.