i have been struggling with this for many years .. hiding the fact that I am not in control of my own mind. Wondering and fearing why this confusion and constant battle to stay ME.. i know my history ( or most of it ) .. traumatic childhood and abuse.
Talking about it is not something I have been able to do, but I feel so all alone in this. My life so messed up now, and trying to stay ontop of things just seems so endless.
Right now I feel that everyone is out to get me, to make me say things that will leave me vulnerable to be 'disected'. Therapy even seems to add to the confusion .. all I do is wish for that rock to cover myself inside a hole in the ground.
My home my jail cell, but my peace and safety. Constant fear of people not understanding me, i dont even understand me either, but I feel so unsure of even letting someone inside to know exactly what I truly have become. A stranger inside my own life.

Hoping that I can find balance and hope for so normalcy inside me.
Dee

im probably not the one to say anything to you but, i feel the same way and know everyday its a constant battle within...blah blah blah./// to stay afloat ,.. im hearing ya , you take care, and take one minute at a time ... hang in there ok? just know 9weather you want to or not) that theres some one out here seeing your words/.