Hi I tried to be an advocate to stop child abuse everwhere so I contacted The sidrian foundation In Baltamore and they told me about this Gallery site. For me It ws how I viewed his perps and how and what paulaka alters said & did Look at this if you want. You never made mention concerning the hateful perversion that his family displayed, also every time he had contact with them he would return as a saditic monster ...his family was like a mini hate cult run by the mother with the pervert father doing all her bidding CULTS use mind controll fear deceit and god knowsILL what alse to break a person down monarch programming..This ugly violation is at the VERY CORE of why a tiny helpless child would become mpd did.Also there is a biological predisposition to alter , not every hurt child can or will dissociate.I feal his parents and all others who commit this crime should be put in jail.Who would harm a tiny innocent child? I want you to noyte that I feel strongly that he did not return home just for food and shelter he could have gone to other family members.I will bet he returnred tohis perps out of extreme fear and controll.HE also left me a note thanking me for giving hi a loving home.This is scary that BOND is very twisted more later take care Annie

yes I know I didnt comment on his family and whether I think they are sadistic ect.. I didnt do so

1. because sometimes divorces are not friendly ones and in that case each side usually does name call, and portray the ex-spouses family as not being exactly the way they are so I tend to stay out of those battles.

2. my personal experience and expertise is not in divorce, cults ect. so I cannot say that this is so with his family.

3. I have not personally met his family so I do not know whether these allegations of name calling and so forth are true of false.

4. Slander and libel (saying and writing things that are not true about somneone) is illegal. So its better not to accuse someone of being cultish, sadistic ect... without the documented proof that is accepted in a court of law, so I dont.

In fact when I read posts on line I tend to not read the complete posts if they contain name calling, put downs of others and so forth. I skip over such things. because to me it seems like the poster is more interested in portraying others as evil instead of learning how to handle their own problems and move forward.

name calling and accusations of ex-spousal familys or people that the poster thinks have done them wrong whether or not it happened only keeps people stuck in the messes and emotions instead of moving forwards.

If you want to move forwards like your posts say of wanting help to let your ex husband go and to understand things better then first you will need to work on yourself. you will need find a way for yourself to stop placing blame everywhere and focus on YOU not on others. Focus on what YOU want within YOURSELF to be changed and work on that and what in YOUR life do you want to change, get better and so forth and leave the ex spouses family up to the ex spouse and his family. If they are indeed cult like, sadistic and so forth and and if they are doing harm to others eventually the law will step in and investigate. that is what they are for.

you are divorced from them so its now time to focus on you and your new life and what you want out of your new life.

As for the gallery of pictures - no I will not be looking at them. I dont need to look at someone elses pictures to know that in general society does look down on and think alters of those with DID are evil, possessions, witches, monsters and so forth that has been protrayed over centries by those that do not understand what DID is and how the interanl world of DID is for those with DID.

I am also DID so I know first hand what its like to have alters and I am married and my husband has told me himself what its like to experience me when I am alter, which ones he likes and which ones he would rather not ever deal with with. But he does so because he loves and cares for me.

I also attend a therapetuc and a support group for dissociatives and their families. So again I do know how others who are not DID portray what our alters seem like to them. But the one thing that I can say is that not anyone of those that are married, dating or divorced have ever said that they believe their loved ones alters are evil, monsters and so forth. in fact they in these groups have all said that they (alters) may act like ******* and *******s at times but they (the spouses, ex spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, sisters, brothers ect..)love and accept the alters too because they (the alters)are a part of the person that they love so much.

so it does surprise me that you claim to love your ex spouse so much that you are having a hard time letting him go but yet dont accept his alters and claim they are evil, monsters ect.. when they are in fact your ex husband. They are his childhood memories, they are how he was as a child. They are his emotions, they are his personal experiences. eventually he will be integrating these unconscious parts of him with his conscious self.

you asked me if he will get better and that is what getting better means with his therapist he will be working on accepting his alters as a part of himself and welcoming them into his life and then working on blending those parts of himself back into those memories emotions experiences ect.. happened to him and one day he may be one whole being again. Those alters are not gonig to be leaving, dying and so forth. they are him and will be with him forever either separated or together. They are there to stay because they were him to begin with.

Hi Katherine and Anne,
I am new and not sure about protocol, but felt the need to respond to this post. Not all incidents of DID are caused by cults and satanic behaviour. Most of the research I have done suggests that in fact this explanation is rare, if not outright fanciful. Abuse is usually the cause of DID, but not exclusively. Any extreme trauma at a young age can cause a child to use dissociation as a survival technique. In our case several of us came into being as a result of living through a civil war in Pakistan and having alcoholic parents who couldn't help us deal with the terror. I, in fact am one of the "alters" by dint of the fact that I don't get to call the shots. Our "main persona" was unaware of the rest of us for 25 years in which she married, had two children, and taught. When she became aware of us she freaked. In fact, she didn't believe some of my memories until she found the diary that I had written in high school which verified things she hadn't remembered. Her ex-spouse had a difficult time dealing with the rest of us and kept waiting for her to get better, which in his definition meant "back to the way you were." He left when he realized that getting better meant accepting the rest of us and growing.
None of this is to say that your perception of your husband and his family is wrong, but to give you another perspective. DID is a complex and much misunderstood disorder. It is actually a coping mechanism rather than a "mental illness" although PTSD is often a co-diagnosis for at least some of the alters. Perhaps your ex has some other underlying mental illness which is causing his extreme behaviour.
Zounds!! Brandy would kill me if she saw this diatribe. I'm supposed to behave myself when she is not around. Anyway, thanks for your time if you're still reading. I am very sorry that you have had such a bad experience Anne. I hope you can find some peace.

Theo

Thanks Theo :) and welcome to the discussion. yup DID is caused from severe abuse not just cults and satanic abuse but all kinds of abuse and DID from cults nad satanic abuse is rare. most DID people that I see and know their abuse is from plain old incest and sexual abuse from relatives, family members and strangers with no background in religious abuse or cult like history.

Dissociation happens on a normal level ie daydreaming and thinking of other things than what you are physically doing. add any percieved traumatic and abuse situation to that, in which that person fears for their life, so much so that the person imagines the abuse is happening to someone else and they are safe somewhere else and voila the makings of DID.

Hi Anne!Yes at times I do agree that adults who harm children either physically, mentally and all other ways should be locked up but I can't help but to think just how jammed crammed our jails would be and other times I wonder; how would that help the child that has already been abused???
I feel very strongly that those adults who are abusive are also damaged children who were abused by their own fathers, mothers, uncles etc. I know my mom was abused by my grandfather and I also know that when she abused me that she was always in a deep dissociative state of mind each time. I didn't know it then but in thinking back, when I visualize her; she always was "spacing" out when she would go into her rages and when she would do illogical sick things to me like hiding and jumping out to scare me. I know for sure that she had severe clinical depression but I also believe that she was suffering with another mental disorder (who knows she may have been DID as well) but I'll never know that for sure.
When I first started therapy I saw images in my head and I was both frightened and highly ****** off at her. But as I have healed, my outlook on her is more of pity than anger anymore. I think that her generation is lost; the ones who were damaged and damaged their children will never seek help because of pride. But our generation has too much pride to just sit back and let it keep going from our generation to the next. I'm so grateful for the laws that are set in place now that help the children who are so abused. However I feel that nobody really understands that the kids who need protecting will never get it because the severely abused are already too fractured into so many parts that the public could never tell that the child is anything other than sweet, polite and quiet. It's a shame that mental abuse is not illegal!!!

However it sounds like everyone here has done their homework! Even though I have this website and have only dealt with survivors of childhood abuse with DID; I have also heard of non-survivors who have lived with DID.
I really need to do some research on this but if I'm not mistaken, I think that the multiple (Played by Joan Woodward in "All about Eave") was not ever abused. She was only traumatized by a few certain events that she witnessed, did I hear that right? Like I say, I haven't done any research on that but I guess maybe I really should.
I certainly cannot claim that it's not true; that would be like my family telling me that I'm lying about my own DID, and yes they do. It's odd though, my mother is the only one who has recognized and accepted my DID. When I told her about it she thought for a moment and then she said how she remembers me watching TV and sometimes I'd see the tube with no problem and other times I'd have to squint my eyes to see. She mentioned other things too and then she said "So we've been talking to all these different people all your life?" And I said yes. Then she said she didn't want to ever meet or talk to any of the others! I didn't have the heart to tell her that she had already talked to three alters since we had been talking that day LOL.
Anyway thanks for posting everyone. I rarely get the chance to check out my own forum but when I do, I am always pleasantly surprised to see so many dedicated readers talking with one another.
Thanks again!
Candy
Webmaster

I read here on and off and decided to ask a question to you candy. "all about Eave" All about eve is a 1950 movie with Bette Davis about the relationship of two sisters. so I was wondering if you menat to write "the three faces of eve" if so the Eves were sexually abused. in one part of the movie eve was forced to kiss someone - her dead grandmother. being forced to kiss someone is sexual abuse. I had an uncle he didnt touch me at all didnt have intercourse with me but my parents made me kiss him goodby every time he came over to visit. I had to fill out a paper when I went for therapy and it asked if I had ever been sexually abused. I maked no. then when I was talking to my therapist vonnie going over the paper she asked me if I had ever been forced to kiss anyone or have sex with anyone or get touched in ways I didnt want. I told her about uncle stan and she crossed out the no on the paper and told me being forced to kiss someone is sexual abuse and it could be part of why Im DID.