Does anyone know of any sites that help spouses deal with DID? My husband and I really had a tough time this weekend. So far, he has been very supportive about everything and has made me feel like I am not crazy.

However, we went out with some friends the other night. He was so worried about what they felt and if they were having a good time. He is a people pleaser. I really felt neglected. When we got home, I asked him about it. He started talking about how our marriage is a burden to him and the kids' issues are a burden to him. I cried that night so much. It was not just me that was crying. I felt abandoned again. However, I handled it differently than I usually do. I have an alter named Trae that usually expresses extreme anger. Trae and I have been working together for the last few months on ways to handle different situations in a more positive way that will bring healing to us instead of more hurt.

Well, Trae and I worked together beautifully. I stayed calm and cried (instead of holding it all inside). Trae directed me toward healing this time instead of exploding with so much intense emotion. I told the enemy that he was not going to have a foothold in the situation and allowed my Good Shepherd to help me through it. It was so awesome, because I found out later that my husband was just feeling that he was not strong enough to be there for me. See, I am a very busy person. It is about to be summer which will free up a lot of time for me. My inside family has been giving me little clues that memories are about to start coming out. I can feel that things are really going to be rough soon. They just don't want to do it until we can all have the time to deal with things appropriately. My husband grew up with a mother and grandmother that "ruled the roost". He was never brought up in a home where there was a positive male role model. He feels weak and has so much fear about having to lead our family. I want him to lead. I know that there is a reason for this. I pray that this will be the time that will make my husband strong.

Once we figured out what was wrong, God has been so good to take him by the hand and place different people and things in his life to help him to feel that he is a warrior and can handle anything that comes up. He has depended on me so long that he does not know how to stand up by himself.

Anyway, I am always so long winded, but I would like to direct him to a site, preferably Christian, that he could receive some support and guidance. I know that there are sites that give great information. But I would like for him to be able to chat with others that are going through what he is going through.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read. I know that there are many of you that do not respond. I hope that more of you will take the time to write and express what is going on with you. I feel that we can all learn from each other. Thanks so much, Candy, for your efforts to provide such a wonderful site. I cannot tell you how much it has helped in these few months. It is nice to know that you are not alone.

Thanks,
Melissa

Hi Melissa, it's good to see you here on the board again!!!
I am having so much trouble finding resourses for Supporters who support survivors so if you get any input here I would love to link to some really good sites.
Thanks for the question, I'm anxious to hear from others on this.
Stay Safe!
Candy

If you have found anything, please let me know. I suspect I am dealing with much the same as your husband. I have been dealing with this for about 11 years, but have just found out the cause after a major incident. Now that she is aware of it, its an endless cycle of bad to worse - not much good anymore and I am struggling.