First, let me provide some recent happenings in my life, which may be influencing this dream. I am happily married with 2 sons. However, I've been dealing with some lingering feelings about a coworker I no longer work with. He's been on my mind almost everyday since I had a dream about him (see previous post) a week before last. Well, a few days ago, my husband admitted that he read my diary. Some of the entries was about my former coworker, which were about my struggle to understand why I'm having feelings for him in the first place. The guy and I have never acted on our inclinations, nor did we discuss it, but we both knew that the feelings were there. My husband was also already aware of my attraction towards the guy because I believe in keeping honesty in my relationship so I told him the moment I realized that there was something more between me and the guy. My husband said that he read my diary because I was distant, but I was only distant because I was not feeling well. I just wanted to be left alone so I could get better. Anyway, sometimes I feel that my husband is smothering me with all of his attention.

Okay, on to the dream. The dream setting is in front of my childhood home. I'm sleeping in my car that's parked in the driveway. I didn't feel like being bothered by my mom's guests who were in the house. There was a brief moment where I worried about a cop harrassing me for sleeping in the car like a bum. Soon after the thought, a cop came and told me to move my car. He was yelling at me, and I was increasingly becoming nervous and I couldn't think straight. I almost backed into another car behind me, and that made the cop even angrier. Once I situated the car to back out again, a little girl came out of the blue riding her bike on the sidewalk. It was a close call, but she gently bumped into my car with her bike. I drove back up the driveway and let her pass. Then I was finally able to park my car on the street. The cop decided to give me a ticket because of my near accidents. He was going to hand the ticket to my mother, and I tried to talk him out of it 'cause she would've been very angry with me if I had embarrassed her like that in front of her friends. I ended up talking her out of it, and he apologized for being angry, and broke down to tell me about his having surgery for a dead fetus in his stomach. Then I remembered hearing something about a phenomena occuring with doctors finding dead fetuses in men. He asked me to make him some jewelry for good luck, which I did, but it was my gold key that I actually carry to invite wealth and prosperity into my life. He was grateful, and so was his family.

Then I remembered that I had a class. I rushed to class only to find out that I had missed two days and there was no way I could catch up.

Then I was back at my childhood home, and my (ex-) boyfriend, Albert, came to see what I've been up to. I was dating 3 guys at the same time and he was suspicious. He was grilling me, when my mother decided to intervene. He insisted that she go outside with him so he could get some answers. She just ended up telling him that I needed my space, and didn't tell him about the other guys 'cause of what he might do to them.

All of a sudden, I was the singer Beyonce performing in my family room in a red dress. Jay Z was there in the beginning of the performance doing his usual rap thing, and then I hugged him. I performed with my dancers, and once that was over, I was back to my old self. And Jay Z, turned into my other boyfriend (current husband) Adio. He was also wondering about what I've been up to. I wanted to date them all because I couldn't figure out who was best for me. Then I thought about my other friend, Deshay, and how I like his passive, non-aggressive nature. I feel like I can breathe around him. But I also like Adio's straightforward and honest ways. Then I also like Albert's tough guy demeanor, plus he is extremely good-looking. My other boyfriends are good-looking as well, but Albert is beautiful. So I was back at square one. (It's been years since I've been in contact with Albert and Deshay. Adio is my current husband).

My dream setting changed again, and I was at a hotel that was holding a seminar for my school. Now I have 2 sons, and I am married to my current husband Adio. I'm in the room getting dressed to meet another man while my husband was grilling me over the phone with 1000 questions. I am not honest with him because all I cared about is feeling attractive and desired by another man. He calls my mom, and she calls me to intervene. Then she puts her good friend on the phone to talk some sense into to me. That's all I remember.

If anyone can give me some clarity, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks so much,
Erryn

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 30; Williamsburg, VA

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Hi Erryn,

From reading your dream, I get the impression that you are stuck--- you are feeling that you do not know what you want out of life, even who you are on a fundamental level, and you perhaps you feel conflicted between your old goals in life and what you truly want to aspire to.

I don't think it has anything to do with the men in your life, other than being an archetype.

If you think of the childhood house as representing your actual childhood, and your mother as your inner critic, and your mothers friends as all of the *should's* and regrets of paths not taken ... or bad choices made ....

Then, think of the road outside of the house as the path to the future. The car, then, becomes the present---where you are now. You are sleeping in the car, as you may be *sleeping* in your life at the moment, refusing to see what you want in your life.
You are refusing to admit what you want because of fear/anxiety of what the future could hold and also of failing those old childhood dreams.

The cop coming to yell at you IS you, an alter ego. He is trying to get you to move ... to find your true self. The fact that he has a dead fetus inside of him says that this is how that part of you feels ... that your nascent dreams are dead ... but there is hope of course, you can revive them.

As you pull out of the driveway, you back up and hit a car. This is like backing up in life ... we can never really go back and if we try it just makes things worse. We always have to go forward. Then a young girl forces you back again ... she represents those childhood dreams you had---what you could be---and you are scared of running them over (discovering you cannot achieve them).

You rush to class, and you've missed class. More anxiety about what the future will hold if you go forth and realize your dreams.

The living room scene is you when you were a child. Remember when we were all kids, we thought we all were going to be superstars, astronauts ... something really great.

That is what your dream is telling you ... you want to manifest that greatness, you want to reach in and pull out all of your true dreams and go forward into the future. But, you are anxious and projecting this indecision onto the men in your dreams (not knowing what you want) and also onto the men in real life.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: Canada

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Thank you, Blue, for your take on my dream. You may be right. I use to want to be a singer when I was young, but I developed stage fright and decided that I should try something else. At this very moment, I am really happy with the career path I have chosen, which is becoming a Clinical Health Psychologist. I'm doing extremely well in school, and I'm excited that I'm going to be a part of a relatively new specialization to help people with chronic diseases by working them through their psychological issues. However, I may be in denial. I still enjoy singing, but I only sing for therapeutic reasons; to make me feel good. My waking thoughts tell me that I have no desire to sing professionally, but maybe my subconcious is telling me differently.

Thanks again for your insight!

Erryn

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 30; Williamsburg, VA

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That's great that you are in a career that you enjoy.

It doesn't need to be a career change or something that dramatic. Perhaps it is just that you want to explore
your creativity and overcome your fear---stage fright.

Inhibited self expression can make us a little ... nutty :)

At least, being an artist, I find that to be the case with myself.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: Canada

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Hum! You know, I've been wanting to write a book, but whenever I start it, I think it's too corney and I quit. Also, I'm not too sure what it's going to be about. So maybe that's what my subconscious is trying to tell me.

Thanks again, Blue!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 30; Williamsburg, VA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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