Hi All,

I am trying to decipher the meaning of this dream:

I am lying on my back in bed. A tall man, naked is lying on top of me. I caress him and he has an orgasm. He is lean and very toned. We are not having intercourse. I feel guilty because I am married. I get up and discover he left a line of semen from left thigh down to my ankle. It was a bright yellow-orange colour. I go to shower and discover that I am wearing white underwear that look like men's briefs. I am afraid that somehow his semen entered me and I am pregnant.

I find myself at my parents house trying to take a bath. Someone has filled the bathtub with tomatoes. I shovel them out and put them in the toilet but it starts to plug the toilet. I put some in the trash. I get the tub relatively clean and fill it with water. An old man, very old, fully dressed including with a tweedy beret has a tomato slice in his hand and caresses me erotically with it. I leave the bathroom and walk down the hall feeling dirty and search for my bike in a closet.

I go outside and there is a huge parking lot and a young man says to me if you can convert to anything what would it be?

I say, caring and understanding. He is pleased and lets me pass. I search for my bike but realise I don't know what it looks like. Is it the bike of my childhood or the one I had in college. I have to stop and think about it. It is the one I had in college, I decide, so I begin my search. I hadn't locked it when I moved in so I feared it had been stolen but I hoped instead my brother borrowed it and is keeping it for me.

I searched all over the parking lot but it wasn't there. I searched all over my parents yard, closet and it wasn't there when I went back home. The hose was turned on and it was leaking water toward the garage door so I turned it off.

All ideas are welcome!
May

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 36 Europe

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I would just like to add that the very old man in the tweed beret and full suit is in the bathtub while it is full of water, and while I am standing outside the bathtub but next to it, on the outside.

Thanks everyone,
May

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 36 Europe

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Hi May

I thought this dream had been replied too, sorry for the oversight.
Firstly I wonder if you have had further thoughts on this dream ??
I find sexual dreams tricky and difficult to respond to so please forgive me if I am way off, or overstep any boundaries - it is unintentional

This dream seems to have very similar theme to past posts of yours ,, as I see it the common themes are around forms of guilt and infidelity.

I was struck by " I am wearing white underwear that look like men's briefs" ,,, and I wonder if this relates to underlying masculine values ,,,
Does this relate to being able to orgasm the man without intercourse ,,, ie: it is mastabation of a kind ,,
The tall man is lying on top of you ,, the feminine in you is in the lower position. This might suggest that patriachy is dominant and that you are 'using' your feminine ways to stimulate the masculine.
The yellow semen could represent issues of power ,,, actually power that is not truly creative ,, could it be that you are actually afraid of your true creativity - in that you were afraid you were pregnant>

The next paragraph about the tomatoes ,,,,
Symbolism of tomatoes ?? lots of seeds in them I know that.
The tub - feminine symbol and full of water ,,, feelings ??? blocked feelings - by the tomatoes - so what do they represent to you, any clues there?
Also the location here is your parents house - I seem to remember this is a recurring location in your dreams - so what does it represent - tribal values perhaps/

Something going on here May ,, this old man - either wise or not so nice ... caresses you erotically ,,, do you remember what you felt then. Was this you, now or in the past?

It would be interesting to look back over your dreams and see how often there is something relating to your parents house or your childhood -

hope this helps and starts things going
Justin

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 48 Australia

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Hi Justin,

No worries! I will try to answer your questions as best as I am able:

I do have a lot of dreams taking place at my parents house. In this sense I would definitely say that is a recurring dream theme with the location and I need to pay more attention to why it is chosen as where I am in dreams, by my dreams. Interestingly, in every single dream that I have had about my parents house, I was/am the person I currently am, even with dreams I haven't posted here. In those dreams, I am my adult self, and not a child, so this is telling me that there is something in my current state of mind that is somehow linked to who I was or my life when I was growing up.

In terms of feeling guilty, I realised that I do feel a lot of guilt in general for not measuring up to my parents standards first, then those of society and how I'm supposed to be. I feel guilty when I shop or when I think I've spent too much money, or when I think I haven't worked hard enough on my studies. Its like I have a part of me that is always trying to find fault, something like an inner critic, but more like a guilt-trip machine. I find it interesting that in my dreams it shows in regards to my husband...the inner masculine...as if I am betraying this part of myself. I think for me that really needs some introspection, to see where I am maybe betraying the inner masculine....in the past I had the opposite type of dream, where I would be betrayed by him....so this reversal is strange.

The old man in the bathtub...the masculine in a tweed beret...he's not really relating to me, and this speaks as well to some inner dynamic with my animus. The imagery is strange and in that sense striking. In this scene I am myself currently and the negative emotions that I felt in relation to this situation are perhaps a clue of how I feel about the masculine...in terms of old patriarchial values...the Establishment...etc....this old and degrading treatment of the feminine that instead of creating a fulfilling and intimate encounter leaves negativity instead. I think for me being in academia which has divorced itself from wholeness into a reductionist masculine spirit oriented way of being that is disembodied and destructive to nature, instinct, intuition, the feminine, the body, the earth is really destructive(especially to myself personally) and I see this theme repeatedly in my dreams...and I think also this imagery can be interpreted in another way in that there is some sort of initiation instigated by this old man but goes wrong.

I am going to need to reflect more on this dream...
thanks Justin,

May

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 36/Europe

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Also, the bicycle loss is interesting. In the dream I have to stop and think about which bike I lost, the one from childhood or the one from college. It is the one from college that I lost, not childhood, so this dream is telling me to look at my college days, not my childhood. A bike to me symbolises freedom and an alternative to more conventional transportation that is better, faster and healthier. I can and have biked in every kind of weather imaginable, ice and snow haven't stopped me, and a bike is something that requires very litte for maintenance and allows one to be be fully independent...no buying tickets..no waiting in line....etc.

So losing the bike...somehow in my young adulthood I lost a sense of freedom and independence, in fact I literally 'lost' that particular bike when I went abroad once....perhaps that is a time in my life I need to look at more closely.

The key to search for it....being more caring and understanding....towards myself of course..

This dream has so many elements and so much emotion for me, I think it has a lot to offer me so I hope that I can make more sense of it. It seems also to be looking at similar past dream themes but from a different angle.


Thanks Justin!

May

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Please note that a bicycle can represent searching for an inner balance.

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Hi Mark,

Thanks for the info! Looking at a lost bike in terms of balance makes a lot of sense for me. . .

Thank you,

May

Hi May

I have not been able to get back to the Forum, however I have pondered over your dreams occasionally.
It sounds like you are getting closer to the mark - the theme of aberant masculine, lets call it patriarchy seems to be in your dreams a long way back as I recall.

I think some of these dreams may have been relating to the world scene and others to your place in it )in the system perhaps) and also your inner understanding of masculinity.

Marion Woodman in the Maiden King describes the effects of the loss of a positive father ,,,, and this can be in the world, in the systems we work in and within ourselves. The tale involves a step-mother and a tutor = false mother and absence ot true masculinity. In Robert Bly's part of the book (pp 28) there is a qute from MW,
"Her consort the rigid authoritarian father passes laws that maintain her inertia. Together they rule us with an iron wrist in a velvet glove. Mother becomes Mother Church, Mother Welfare State, Mother University, the beloved Alma mter, defined by Father who becomes Father Heirachy, Father Law, Faterh Status Quo....
The efforts of centuries to kill the dragon has ended in the worship of the mother inconcerte materialism. The sons and daughters of patriachy are, in fact mother bound"

Be great
Justin

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 48 Brisbane Australia

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Hi Justin,

I really appreciate all the energy and effort you put into helping me understand my dreams. It really means alot to me, and I have benefited so much.

I like this quote...it is sooo true. In fact, I think it was Marion Woodman or Robert Bly in the same book or elsewhere who also said that it is precisely in academia, and at university, that the skills of the feminine are most needed, and have been most relegated to being ostracised, I paraphrase. It was when feminine skills like intuition, empathy, etc, were devalued, that the witch hunts also took over, and all offspring of women.....meaning anything related to the feminine..children, sexuality...etc, were vilified....of course....certain world views...I won't name names....have also participated in this sad demise of femininity and feminine values.

Academia has been a part of my life for many, many years...and though I am 'a success' in this field...I believe my psyche is paying for it. I am trying to hard to keep true to myself, and it is soooo difficult.....this is one of my life balancing tasks.

I do believe that this is one thread in the many meanings of my dreams...

but as I've said before...

I sense that this isn't it. Somewhere somehow my dreams are trying to show me my path back to myself, and I don't think patriarchy is the only thing that I'm to understand from all this. I also think my dreams in addition to showing me my life path and bringing me back to myself are trying to tell me something else, but it seems elusive and all I can do is stay with the process.

Justin, thank you again, so much.
take care,
May

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 36/Europe

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