I remember being in a house that was my grandfathers, but it wasn't my grandfathers how I know it, it was strange, much bigger, several stories, cluttered.. My grandfather always keeps his house clean and tidy, and it's a bit small..He wasn't my grandfather, he looked, talked, and acted nothing like him.. yet in this dream.. I couldn't tell the difference.

There were lots of people there.. my grandfather (who was not really him.), my attacker of many years in my past, and people who, in the dream, were my cousins (but also not really them..) It's weird, I recognized and identified them in my dream as being my cousins and grandfather, but in reality, they look, talk, and act nothing like the way they did in my dream.. The only one who looked and acted himself was my attacker.

In the dream there was a few of us sitting downstairs on the couches, trying to figure out where everyone would sleep, and then my attacker woke up on the couch (while we were still trying to figure out positions of sleeping), and asked what the noise was.. my grandfather explained two of my cousins were upstairs, and in my dream.. they were young.. maybe 12, they looked like twins, and fat.. (in reality my cousins are in their late 20s, not twins, and jocks.) well in my dream this seemed normal, and in the dream no one knew the man on the couch was my attacker, and for some reason he wanted to go somewhere, and I willingly went, my heart was beating so fast, I was having cold sweats and shaking, but I agreed to go. We walked out the door and it was dark.. I couldn't see where I was going, I was more scared of him than of the dark. The house suddenly faded into the background.

Suddenly out of nowhere I heard a gunshot behind me.. It wasn't far off, but it wasn't directly behind me either. I turned around and the house was back again. Then a whole room upstairs lit up in orange. I ran back into the house to hear that one cousin had shot another.. (not the 12 year olds), but another cousin.. he was maybe 9, thin.. I didn't recognize him at all.. He shot one cousin in the hallway up stairs, right before the top stair. My grandfather didn't want to call the cops, seeing as how he was tired, he said we should wait until morning and then call.. We all went upstairs to find more couches and we picked our spot to sleep.. I remember running over and past the spot where I thought the body was laying.. I darted across it really quickly.. only seeing shadows on the floor, and feeling things beneath my feet, which encouraged me to run past it further. I didn't sleep that night, between the body upstairs, the voices I kept hearing and my attacker sleeping next to me. I was terrified.

The next morning while everyone was awake, it seemed everyone had forgotten what happened the night before, no one mentioned it, and everyone was acting themselves (as normal as they could in the dream), I remember going back up the stairs and seeing it and reminded everyone we should call the police. The police showed up and I left.. The sound of sirens and cops roaming through the house was too much. I open the front door to walk out and there was nothing.. No ground, no grass, no trees.. no sky.. only darkness.. a deep darkness. I slammed the door shut. I remember feeling like my chest was going to explode.

The cousin who had done the shooting, he was just a boy, but he was laughing and smiling, as though nothing had happened. He had no remorse for anything he had done, and every time he would look at me and grin... I wanted to scream.

Suddenly out of nowhere.. The place was crawling with people, not only family, my attacker, and the cops.. but press and strangers from down the street..(keeping in mind there was no street). I was carrying a baby.. couldn't have been more than a couple of months, a girl, in the dream I think it was Kiersten.. though Kiersten is nearly 8 now.. and I was carrying her around, talking to her, singing to try and calm her down.. Pacing through the house.. I felt less alone yet more terrified with her there.

The place where the body was supposed to be.. it wasn't.. Only bloodstains and metal.. Dark shadows and confusion.. I went into the bathroom upstairs to find it full of water and strands of blood, and it looked like human meat floating in the water, you know when you get a cut and you run it water.. and the water suddenly turns from clear to crimson? It was like this... darts of blood here and there in the water.. But not the whole bath was crimson.. and there were things floating in it.. and bloody prints on the side of the tub. I turned to walk out of the room with the baby in my arms, I didn't want to expose her to this, even though she was a baby.. I'm not sure if I was afraid it would infect her somehow.. or if I was just too terrified to look anymore.

The baby was getting sick, so I took her to the hospital, which oddly enough, was also inside the house.. and the nurse gave me directions to reach the right room for baby care, confused by her instructions, I began walking in the way she was pointing.. To turn around and find her behind me. She leads me to this door, which was locked.. I knew right then something was wrong, but I went on in anyway.. There were little cubbies everywhere.. each cubby containing a child no more than 8 years old. Each one looked like a zombie.. They weren't blinking, they weren't speaking, and barely breathing.. They were just sitting on the table, all dressed alike.. they all looked alike. One doctor went to this little girl beside me.. She looked much like Kiersten.. she had light brown hair, down to her shoulders, lots of curls.. and she was propped up on the bed, it was raised up to keep her from laying flat.. He began drilling at her skull and she didn't move..I looked down at the baby (who in the dream I thought was also kiersten, only a newborn version), and she was a corpse.. mildly decayed. and then she began to cry. They came toward us and I started running.. It was hard to keep from falling, especially while trying not to drop her.

They were escorting my cousin out of the house, for the murder of another cousin, who he had not only murdered.. but dismembered him. The next thing I know, the baby is gone.. and I was back in a dark room. I remember running to a wall.. feeling my way all around all four walls looking for a door, a light, something.. and I felt hands around my throat. They were squeezing and trying to strangle me.. I could hear a baby crying in the distance.. All I could think about was trying to reach the baby.. I realized by this point I was dreaming.. yet it felt so real.. Like if I was being choked in reality.

I woke up screaming and in a cold sweat.. The dream still seems so vivid.. and my brother walked in a little bit ago asking if I was walking through the house this morning, or had come into his room.. I haven't even left mine.. I can't shake the fear from that dream.. It sounds silly.. I know.. but it all felt so real...

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 24, Tennessee

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

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ashly,
If you feel comfortable with talking about the assault {attack} perhaps we can discover the message of this dream. I do believe it is addressing the attack and probably how it still has control over you. A few questions that may help.

1} Were any family members involved?
2} Was there more than just one attack?
3} How old were you when it happened?
4} Was there others who may also suffered abuse from the attacker?
5} How are you handling that experience. Does it still weight heavily on you?

I don't often ask questions about a dream, I usually give an interpretation and await a response. But this could be very delicate and I had rather treat it as such. Knowing a little more about the assault may provide a better understanding of the dream since the dream is about you.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

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Sorry, I should have given more detail to this dream. I'm still new at deciphering them... My first 'attach' was by a cousin when I was five, and then it happened again by someone else for many many years.. by seven different people from molest to rape for over 17 years. Some of these are family members.. some were friends of the family that past away about four years ago.

My brother also suffered the same abuse from one of the same abusers as myself.. We lived with this person for years..

I thought maybe this dream, and the others I always have are related to the past.. but my ex boyfriend, whom I still talk to sometimes, he is trying to assure me it is merely a dream and I have to realize that nothing in the dream is real.. but I cannot shake the feeling..

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 24, Tennessee

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AShly,
I asked those particular questions because I sensed the 'attackers' were someone related to you. The dream offers that as a possibility and you confirmed it. The fact your cousins were so prominently in the dream and the ages voiced in the dream, especially at 12 years old, stuck out. And the way the dream was presented made me believe you were abused more than once. Something about the narrative made me suspect there were other victims.

The dream language "The cousin who had done the shooting, he was just a boy, but he was laughing and smiling, as though nothing had happened. He had no remorse for anything he had done, and every time he would look at me and grin... I wanted to scream" offers the best evidence that your cousin{s} were involved.

Yes, it is just a dream. But because there is so many graphic images in the dream and the way the dream is presented it is clear you have yet to come to terms with what happened in the past {it is all in the past is it not?}. I suggest you seek counseling so to confront the past {and perhaps those who abused you and your brother}. Until that is done you will continue to have these dreams and they could become worse. Not only could the dreams get worse, the lack of closure could affect your life.

Have you received counseling over these terrible experiences? It is only a dream but it reflects the real emotions that are stored up inside you, emotions that could erupt if not properly treated.

Where in Tennessee do you live. I may be able to offer some advice in seeking help {I live in Murfreesboro just outside Nashville}.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes