Some background info: There is friend, T, with whom I would like to become more intimate. He has been away most of the past 6 weeks, and has made his house available to me in his absence, including his bed in an outdoor screened room, which I have been using with some frequency; and his library containing a fair number of books on Tantric sex, which we have a common interest in and which I have been reading.

It’s very clear that the dream deals with sexuality, but thought you might help shed light on some of the details. Thanks.

T and I were at my ex’s boss’s house talking with the boss’s daughter who is 18 and the same age as my son. In waking life, the boss and his family were friends of mine. Since my ex and I split up, the boss’s family and I have been largely estranged. In waking life T met my ex and his boss at a party he went to with me in June. In the dream T was giving the girl a gift of some food he had made. She turned up her nose at it and said something about not wanting to take it because she didn’t know T and didn’t trust him. The situation was awkward. I was surprised by the girl’s rudeness and wanted to say something to her. I simply told her that she hadn’t learned yet to be gracious. In waking life T places a high value on graciousness.

T and I left. While walking down the long driveway we passed over the irrigation ditch (a stream of diverted river water). T asked me if I’d heard the eels singing. I had not and got excited, I’d not known one could hear the singing of eels. I walked back up to see if I could see and/or hear the eels. T told me that it was something the males did at a particular time to attract females for mating. He gave it a particular name which I can’t remember. (In waking life there are indeed fresh water eels that live in the river and irrigation ditches.) I saw some, but did not hear them. I think I said that I knew some place where we might have another chance of hearing them.

In the next part of the dream we were at my house, which in the dream was more like a primitive outbuilding. The bed took up most of the room in the main room of the house (not unlike the screened room at T’s). I took off my shoes and got onto the bed, crawling down to the opposite corner. I was very conscious of the fact that I was on my bed and wondered if T would follow suit. He did.

My bed sloped down with the foot being right next to the river. We could look right into the river where we saw not eels, but salamanders. There were several salamanders of different colors. They all looked very long for salamanders. They were beautiful. One salamander was shiny and black, but plain. There were at least two others that were different shades of brown. They were very interesting looking – beautiful - with large flaps of skin that rippled in the water. The flaps of skin were shaped differently – I assumed them to be different species. The three (or more) salamanders were engaged in what looked like some sort of courtship “dance”. It didn’t appear that there was competition occurring, but I wondered. I said something about witnessing “inter-species messing around”. I felt awed to be witnessing such a spectacle.

I’m not sure if the dream ended there, but it’s where my memory ends.
I get a chuckle every time I think of “singing eels”. Thanks and have fun with this one.

Lynn

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 50 years, rural intermountain WA

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Thanks for all your time and energy. It's not much, but a donation is in the mail. Perhaps it'll feed some hungry cats for a while.

Lynn

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Lynn,
Let me ponder this dream a bit and give an interpretation either later today or in the morning. If you should view this response before then you may want to take under consideration what HYPERDICTIONARY.COM has to offered as possible meanings of an eel and salamander.

Eel
Seeing an eel in your dream indicates that you have issues with commitment. It also means that you have problems holding on to things.

SALAMANDER
Seeing a salamander in your dream, represents your ability to survive through shame, misfortune, and/or embarrassment.

And what is it that makes you chuckle at singing eels? Is it that singing eels are just funny or is there an unconscious association to singing eels {singing ills?}?

gerard

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Lynn,
I do appreciate the contribution. One day soon I hope to be able to put all my efforts in my dream work. Early retirement may be the best possibility and if I can swing that {and still feed my felines} I will do so in a heart beat.

The road to bliss can be very challenging.

gerard

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Lynn,
I haven't forgotten your dream. I want to address it in the morning when I have a better intuitive mind.

gerard

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Gerard,

I used an on line dream dictionary from the Curious Dreamer. It said that an eel may signify "waiting for the best timing in order to be most effective. Stealthy, slimy, questionable motives." Both the commitment issues and the waiting for the best timing, seem to be referring to T rather than me. He has made several comments about letting the relationship unfold own its own time.

Of a salamander, the Curious dreamer said it could signify "Power of observation and perceptiveness. Quick response. Skittishness". This I think refers more to me. I generally think of myself as observant, perceptive and intuitive, but this man has shaken my confidence. I'm not so sure about surviving shame or misfortune. I do think I have made myself vulnerable emotionally, making known my desire for more (incl. physical) intimacy. That has caused some ebarassment or discomfort.

In answer to your question about my finding the singing eels humorous. Well, partly I just find the image funny. Partly, I was thinking that the eel was a phallic symbol. Singing penises - also funny, but damn, I missed it, didn't get to hear them sing.

Thanks for your attention.
Lynn

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 50 years, rural intermountain WA

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Lynn,
I'll have to check out the Curious Dreamer web site. I am always looking for new resources, those that are valuable and not just ridiculously stupid, to help people understand the possibilities of dream symbols. If the site has an element of Jungian thought to it then I would consider it valuable.

As for your dream. There does seem to be a large element of sexual content in the dream with the eels and salamanders. The first part of the dream involving your ex-boss seems to be out of place as far as the sexual connotations. More often than not symbols in dreams {for those over 35} will have applications to the dreamer {ex-boss perhaps being some of aspect of you, at one in charge but no longer-ex}. But again it may have to do with actual waking experiences involving real people. The awkward situation may be addressing actual waking feelings with T meeting your ex. You may want to examine the inner actions of those people present to determine any relevance to the rest of the dream {involving sex}.

The irrigation ditch. Could that possibly represent 'complexes' applying to sex? Robert Johnson had a simple audio book that compared complexes as canals running from the main body of water. Your interest in Tantra sex may have deeper roots than you realize and the singing eels {penises} could possibly fit with that. The excitement of the singing eels could be sexual excitement.

The primitive outbuilding. Another possibility of 'original' emotional complexes. In your house the bed takes up most of the space. Does that say a lot about your actual state of mind? And the element of sexual desire. Will T follow you into bed?

The bed sloping down to the river. Bodies of water often symbolize unconscious attitudes revealing the true nature of who a person is. Your bed 'slopes' down to the unconscious sexual attitudes? Although eels seem to be larger creatures the varieties of salamanders in your dream may be applicable to varieties of sizes and variations of penises {different species}. Again, sexual attitudes may be the focus. And then there is the 'The three (or more) salamanders were engaged in what looked like some sort of courtship “dance”'. A threesome. Tantra sex. No competition.

The dream may be addressing sexual attitudes. More often than not that would be a negative thing. But your dream seems to be more positive. There is no competition which could mean there is no competition of emotions when applied to sex {what woman would accept that without having a broad outlook on sexual relationships?}. Your interest in tantra sex points to a broad minded attitude. Anything to do with Eastern philosophy is much more educational than Western attitudes. Your dream may be addressing those attitudes as well as the fulfilling of desire {for T}. And it does seem to be in a positive light.
Your studies on tantra sex would be a positive thing.

One last thought. Perhaps the first part of the dream is pointing to the fcat that your ex and his boss may be saying something about how they no longer have control over you {ex-boss}. In particular teh sexual attitudes your ex may have possessed {or lacked}.

Does that fit?

gerard

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Gerard,

Thanks. Wow, this gives me a lot to think about. As I was retelling the dream to a friend this morning I recognized additional associations with the place. My ex’s boss’ house is, in waking life, a place where I stayed as a 20 year old. I helped on a farm of the previous owners where we encountered tiny fresh water eels in the irrigation system. Oh, what tangled webs we weave in our psyches. The girl in the dream is about the same age I was when I stayed there.

I’ll have to check out Robert Johnson’s work on complexes. I’m not familiar with it. I read He, She and We when I was in my early 20’s – a long time ago. The books made a big impact on me. So, I’m not sure what you mean about “original emotion complexes” in reference to the primitive outbuilding or how the canal may symbolize a complex.

I think that my excitement about the singing eels definitely speaks to my own sexual excitement and possibly that of T’s. The fact that the eels were singing may also refer to the celebratory/ecstatic aspects of sex, esp Tantric sex. And I do think that the ambush behavior of eels (waiting and waiting till the timing is just right) references T (and my attitude about his time frame). There is an element of distrust on my part. Maybe more that I don’t trust my intuition/perception that there is mutual attraction and desire.

That the bed takes up most of the space in the house most certainly speaks to my current state of mind. Sleeping in T’s bed (albeit when he’s not there) and reading his stack of books on sexuality have indeed put me in a state. This part of the dream cautions me that my state of mind is out of balance (the sloping bed?).

It could be that the fact that there were several salamanders refers to other relationships that T and I each have. We each have a close friend of the opposite sex that we are in fairly close communication with. I think the dance without competition refers to those other friendships. I would not expect me or T to give up other friendships. The dance is one thing though, and sex is something else. It would definitely be something that would need to be negotiated carefully. In the dream I was uncertain about just what was going on with all those salamanders – in waking life too. The threesome thing is out of the question, though now that I think about it, I was approached recently by a male friend who asked if I might join he and his wife. I declined.

Then again the salamanders could represent past and current relationships/attractions. The lovely black salamander could be a direct reference to a black man I was involved with (I’m white). It could be that I don’t see those other relationships as any competition to the one I’d like to develop with T.

Your thought about the significance of my being at the house of my ex’s boss rang true. My ex was a bit prudish about sex. I felt repressed in that relationship. Those attitudes no longer dictate my behavior (no longer boss me around). In waking life one of the reasons the boss and his wife are no longer friends of mine is their conservative judgmental attitudes.

A note about the size of eels: I’m afraid the freshwater eels we have here in these cold northern river waters are miniscule compared to the lovely specimen in the photo. Hmm, I wonder what the singing of that eel sounds like!?!

Again Gerard, thanks a million

Lynn

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Lynn,
There seems to be a definite theme that is directed at sexual attitudes in your dream. The 'original emotion complexes' I spoke of would be the influences from early life that causes you to possess such attitudes {I look to my own childhood experiences that greatly influenced my actions later in life as an example of such early influences}. More often than not these early influences involve negative experiences that turn into emotional baggage that exists in the unconscious until recognized and resolved.

But there is a strong element of positive influence to your sexual themes. perhaps that is because of the study of tantra sex. Tantra sex is associated with spiritual values thus there may be that positive influence that is coming through. Or it may be you are about to discover something within yourself that defines your sexual being and because of seeking to go inward {the spiritual journey inward} you have turned a negative into a positive.
But this is pure conjecture on my part. I should ask if at anytime in your adult life has your sexual attitudes caused negative results? You may be at a turning point if so and that once negative response has been erased {as mine was once I discovered the primary source-which was from childhood}. If you will speak to that possible experiences perhaps we can discover more about the dream.

And. Another way to look at your 'boss's' prudish attitudes toward sex would be to look at yourself as the boss. There may be more to the statement 'inter-species messing around' that applies here.

gerard

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Gerard,

Hmm, we're getting into territory where I need more privacy. I do trust you, but this site feels too public for the disclosures you're asking for.

Lynn

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Lynn,
Don't post anything you feel private. If you wish to e-mail me and discuss it further my e-mail address is posted here. Your own discovery is what is important and if I can help further I am more than willing to do so.

gerard

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I appreciate that Gerard; I think I'll take you up on it.

Lynn

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