Ok - I don't even know how to explain my feelings on this - after the first dream I thought "That was weird" now I am a bit shaken up.

Background - My husband and I have been married for about a year and a month and have been trying to conceive for about 6 months. Often I feel he isn't interested/attracted to me, and he ignores me in bed- but blames me. I am in love with him and want no one else, other than our ttc issues there isn't much wrong.

Dream one: about 3 months ago (memory of it all is vague now): I had a dream that I came home to find a strange man in my home with my husband. Upon entering our house my husband proceeds to tell me he is gay and he is leaving me to be with his new man, and he is taking the dogs. I crumple on the floor in tears, and am asking why, what did I do, how am I to pay the mortgage and debts with out him and so on. He doesn't care and leaves me.

Dream 2: Last night: I noticed earlier in the day that my husband was very distant and his friend who was over had decided to take a nap before company arrived that night, but ignored it. I pointed out that our female neighbor was walking on their deck in a tiny pink nightie - he laughed and called her a wierdo and said that they didn't belong in our neighborhood. Later that night me and our company (not sure who they were), my husband and his friend (that I know) were sitting around a campfire in our small back yard. As me and our guests were sitting around the fire, my husband and his friend disapeared around the corner of our house and moments later I can see them in my neighbors bedroom window. Female and Male neighbors are home. I see this and am immediately disturbed, as I know what they are doing in their bedroom. I leave the fire and sneak over to the neighbors door and listen for noise, I then open the door and quietly go inside. Hoping no one will see me i hear my female neighbor coming downstairs to go to work, panicing, I see her outside the house and I try to hide behind the glass side door, obviously failing. She finds me and I say "I'm sorry I was just looking for my husband" she responds telling me to get out of her house, and proceeds to put her stuff down and goes back upstairs.

I went back to the fire obviously infuriated and trying to contain myself and not say anything about it to my company, and my husband and his friend come back to the fire. Somehow we are next to a car now and his mom is there next to me. I tell him he needs to leave, and he argues that he's not going anywhere. I respond telling him I haven't done anything wrong and I can't believe he would do such a thing and his mom backs me up that he needs to leave.

Somehow (again) we jump to our wedding re-do day, (not sure what this was about, but our reception must have been canceled so we were re-doing everything) and I had my dress in a bag in the car and all my brides maids were trying to get me to get ready. I'm sitting on the stairs asking everyone who is near what to do. I ask my cousin (who I am not close with) if i shouldn't marry him again (we were already legally married) does she think this is a one time thing or what...

Then I woke up...

I don't get it... besides the me being a bit insecure... He doesn't even talk to our neighbor he despises them in real life.

Any help or guidance on this would be greatly appreciated!!!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 24 - WI

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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Amanda,
The first dream seems to be addressing the perceived changes in your husband since you were married. The other man with your husband is your husband, except he is different from what you expected {he has changed}. Dreams will use such techniques to describe how you feel about relationships. The man you married 'has left you'.
Dogs offer loyalty, friendship and unconditional love. He has taken these things with him {figuratively speaking}.

His being gay may represent anxieties and fears that he won't like you back. If he was gay, then it would be easier to dismiss your feelings for him. And his being gay in the dream may be a defence mechanism as to why he doesn't return your sexual interests.
Have there been any thoughts or suspicions in your waking life as to his being gay?

The second dream
The first part of the dream seems to be direct in its intent. Your husband has been 'distant' and ignores sexual thrills {female neighbor in tiny pink nightie}. The campfire may represent your need for companionship and sharing. The small back yard would be the limited response you get.

Your husband's disappearance again is his not being the man you expected or want. It is another bedroom that he belongs and not yours. The rest of this paragraph may be directed at you being on the 'outside' of his love and acceptance. You may be having trouble hiding your emotions over this aspect of your relationship {I try to hide behind the glass side door, obviously failing}. You are looking for the husband you married but you are not in that house.

Have there been open conflicts between you and your husband? Fire often symbolizes anger.

Have you gotten close to his mother?

You are having serious doubts about the marriage {you would re-do it over, perhaps differently}.

What do you have in common with your cousin {even though you are not close}?

There is one element that may or may not be important. The suspicions. Often dreams will focus on intuitive suspicions that you may have ignored in your waking hours. Your husband in the dream is always with another guy. Although this may merely be a description of him as being someone other than himself, there may be an element of truth that you intuitively feel. Have you had such suspicions? Does he tend to 'brighten up' when around other men? Let me know your feelings on this aspect of they are true.

Overall the dream seems to be addressing your frustrations and disappointment about how your husband reacts in bed. He may not want children, he may not be the sexual character you had hoped for or there may be some truth to the gay thing. Was he a good sexual partner in the beginning of the relationship or has it been the same all along?

gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Thank you - after talking with my mom last night we couldn't come up with much and her and I always have very vivid (but odd) dreams...we thought I was going crazy! lol

Re: the First dream - I do feel that he has changed since we first met, and possibly even more so since we have married. He used to be very into sex never turned it down - that was me! It's almost reversed now. Even outside of the bedroom - we rarely kiss besides Hi and Bye - so i think your right in that I am feeling lonely. I also feel that I have lost little pieces of myself along my journey with him, and recently I have been trying to find those pieces and gather them back up.

The his being gay part - I see a lot of truth in this. Since it is so unpredictable if he will/will not want sex I am always hesitant to initiate and if there is no response I find myself feeling rejected and sometimes retreat to the bathroom to cry.

Not so much thoughts to him being gay - he openly thinks this is wrong. Yet he likes anal play alot - and I am kind of uncertain about it so that may be alot of it too.

Second dream: Open conflicts: are really the normal things - but here again these are things that he has changed. He doesn't help around the house at all, he used to, now he is more interested in his work and in visiting his friends. Same goes for spending time with me vs friends. He also does side work, and there are often conflicts as to where the money should go - stay in the biz or into the household. I am always feeling that some of it should come into the house hold cause we are not rich, and he wants to buy new supplies/invest in his biz or spend on frivolous things. This does anger me as I manage finances and house hold on top of working and making she same $ he does.

His mother and I were very close before the wedding, we used to do lots of things together, like friends. She was very controlling when it came to the wedding and I felt very smothered. We still talk and do things, just not as frequently as in the past.

I have wondered why have we married, what do I see in him, where will we be in 5 years. But I also come from a family of divorce - my parents divorce was caused by my fathers cheating ways. So i think that is always in the back of my head. And it is the LAST thing that I want. I want us to be where we were roughly 2 years ago, but married.

My cousin - really i can't think of much - she's single and hasn't done much with her life. She's more on the wild side and is a party girl. (I am not - was when I was younger but not anymore)

Suspicions - I think when he is around his friends he seems to be enjoying himself more than when we do things aloe together. I always feel that they come first and he prefers their company over mine.

This all makes a lot of sense! I really do thank you for your time! I feel a lot better about the whole thing since talking to you - and it's obvious that there is some work that needs to be done in our relationship to make it work...I want us to be happy.

So back to some dreams - Last night I had a dream that I felt an object in my upper thigh area - and I was able to pull it out. It looked like a container that holds a medical syringe but a large one, lid and all. There was no blood - but a gaping hole in my leg and it hurt - this was the first time I have ever felt real pain in a dream?

Is it common for people to have very vivid dreams like this on and off - I mean I'll go for like 6 months without remembering a dream. Then for like a week or two (like this week) I have very vivid dreams to the point that I wake up angry/feeling whatever the dream brought to me - and often I have a hard time distinguishing between walking life events and events from dreams. I must be crazy...

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 24 - WI

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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Amanda,
I'll take a better look at your response in the morning. As to your question about not remembering your dreams on a regular basis, that is not unusual. Some people easily remember their dreams, others don't. I am much like you in that I don't normally remember most dreams unless their is a stimulus to do so. That would include consciously wanting to remember my dreams {which I do sometimes} or a waking event or an experience {including sounds and smells} that suddenly make you remember something about yourself, a deja vu moment that takes you back and you start to remember past experiences. Such events tend to trigger the dream mechanisms because there is an energy to the experience {what Joseph Campbell termed 'numinous', or psychic energy} that overpowers the ego conscious desire to not remember your dreams. Normally if someone does not make an conscious effort to remember a dream upon waking they will quickly forget the dream. Such dreams as above tend to stick in your mind a bit longer.

And there are the Big dreams, which are important dreams. Going through the phases of life, mid-life is an example, and reaching a certain plateau of knowledge and/or understanding, you will have such dreams. And often they use archetypal images to illustrate this new awareness. Many people who consciously become aware of the inner journey tend to have archetypal dreams.

I find also that important or very emotional experiences will stimulate your dream memory. Stress can also stimulate that process.

Sometime I've notice about my sleep and dream habits {I get at least 7 hours every night and have a strict regimentation when I go to bed and when i rise I have a regentmented physical routine also ...the body is the temple}. When I sleep on my left side I have more vivid dreams and those dream I tend to remember. I normally sleep on my back. This is probably related to the interaction of the different organs of the body and its influence on the part of the brain where dreams are stored.

We are all different.

gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Amanda,
Thanks for your detailed response. It explains at lot. The circumstances you state in your post do seem to correspond with the dream. It is difficult to say why your husband has changed. The gay part may suggest he is more interested in other things {gay being opposite of what you expect from him}. Why that is may be part of his own psychological makeup. Probably something from childhood.

The friends you speak about. Are they male and female, other couples?
Something to think about but only as an after thought. Can you completely dismiss the possibility of his being gay? Many gay men marry and to hide their real preferences they will even speak bad of homosexuals. To totally dismiss this possibility I suggest you observe his actions around other men.

Your last dream. Legs and thighs may symbolize aspects having to do with abilities to control pain {hole in leg}. But there is another possibility which though unlikely you may want to give some thought to it.
Anytime you have a dream about objects in the body associated pain and wounds, there may be an actual physical condition in the body the dream is attempting to convey. If you do have a real pain in that area you should consult a doctor. It is an unlikely possibility but it does happen.

gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes