I'll just post my response to the previous post here, together with the dream I had this morning, while it's still fresh. Hope that's ok.

First, about the running and climbing-dream: I think you're right on the spot. I have been feeling chased lately, by difficult experiences in the past, and I've also been comparing myself to all the so-called "normal people" and felt that I've been a faliure. I feel like that's what the first part of the dream is about.
As for the second part, where I'm climbing the fence ( and not climbing over it, but balancing on the side of it, along it) I really do agree in you interpretation. I must admit that I sometimes, and quie a lot lately, have felt like I've had to sacrifice my own growth because of the duties and struggles of my relationship and motherhood. But of course having these thoughts also have made me feel very guilty. It is really a comfort to hear you say that those sacrifices are part of my own growth too. I'm trying to keep an eye on the path all the time, and it's good to hear you reflect the hpoeful thoughts I've had on it myself.

So, over to a dream I had this morning:

I'm in a large old building, it has been a hotel long time ago, but now there are just empty chorridors and large worn down rooms with random furinture. It has a horror movie feel to it, almost like the Shining.
I'm in a room on one of the top floors with my boyfriend. The room has two beds in it, and my bf is laying on one of the beds with a laptop. I think we've just had an argument, the mood is tense, and I leave the room to find a toilet in the chorridor. It's right beside, and the lights are bright, but I say to my bf: I wont shut the door, this place is just too creepy.
When I'm in there I discover blood in my urine, and I undrestand that I probably have a bleather infection. I've had it before so I know I need to go to the doctor and get medicine.
The hotel is in a city where I used to live before I moved here, and I know we are going home tomorrow. But I also know if I wait to see the doctor, I probably soon will start to feel pain. I'm also pregnant in the dream, but I'm quite sure it's not the sign of a miscarrige, because I've had two of them in the past, and I know the difference. I want my bf to come with me to the hospital right away, but somehow I'm now standing outside the building.

I know which bus to catch, and I decide to check when it leaves before going back to get my bf, but suddenly I find myself on the bus, and it is going very fast, and I think to myself that I'll be back at the hotel before he'll realize I'm gone. I know I left my cell phone in the room, so I can't call to tell him where I've gone.

The funny thing is that the hospital is very similar to the hotel, and I have some difficultie plotting out the exct chronology in this dream because of that. But at the hospital, while I'm wandering around waiting to see the doctor, I meet a friend from my childhood. She nvites me into a room, where there is a small party. There are people from my past, not anyone who was ever really close to me. It is some sort of beach party theme, but I feel very uncomfortable in the clothes I'm wearing. My clothes are very strange and unfamiliar to me. The white short tennis skirt has stains on it, the blue and turquoise hawai shirt is awful. I really want my bf to come and join the party, then I would relax. The people I'm with ask if I'm ok and I say that I just have a cold, and that I'm tired.

I then get to borrow a cell phone, and I go out of the room to call my bf. It is my mother who answers, and I think it is strange that it's her voice I hear, but I think about it for a second and conclude that it makes sense that it is her voice even though it's my bf I'm talking to.
I tell her where I am and why. I also tell her that I've been to this party, and in the same moment I remember that I'm pregnant and shouldn't be drinking. I excuse mmyself to her and tell her that I hadn't even drunk a whole beer.

At the end of the dream I'm back at the hotel. I've just enetred the building and I decide to take the elevator. I look up at the signs, and the differnt floors have different titles or names. I can't remember which floor we were on, but there are seven floors and I take a guess that we were on the sixth. I press the button on the elevator and wait for it to come. The door into the elavator is decorated with some kind of metal sculturing. It is very old and when I look closely the seemingly abstract forms are all representing part of a female body, a young girl. I then see a sign beside the door saying: The girl on the treshold! The owls are not what they seem. Then I wake up.

Now, I really hope you've seen the Twin Peaks series.. Then you'll know what the last part of that sentence refers to. I've been watching Twin Peaks for the first time recently, and it has made quite an impact on me. It has so many parallells to my own life and path. Just think about agent Cooper and his dreams..

And by the way, I just found out few days ago that I'm preganant again. It is really something I want, but it is very scary too, since I never take the easy way, and my life also contains a great deal of shadow at times. I also had two miscarriges before I had my daughter, and some of my bad experiences in an abusive relationship some years ago occured when I was living in a building that was once a hotel.

So, what do you think?
Hope you're feeling better :)

Inanna

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 29 Norway

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Inanna,
Because of the way you presented your dream {in paragraphs and stages of progression} I will break down the dream along those lines. Perhaps that will help you understand the reasoning for my interpretation.

Think of the large old building/hotel as being you. What is in the building, is what is within you, the corridor is the unconscious to the 'old self'. The shining is your past, a horror movie in of its own.

The top floors are your conscious thinking, what you are focused on in the present day. The bed is a bridge between the unconscious and conscious self. You are processing {laptop computer} the relationship with your bf, the tense relationship, a need to let out or eliminate certain emotions. As annoying or as unpleasant as the relationship may be, you do not want to shut the door on the relationship. You have given a lot of energy to it and you do not want all that energy to go to waste {urine in the blood}. But there is a need for healing.

Note: There are probably similarities in your relationship with your bf that bring back memories of your childhood {old building}. Experiences from childhood remain imprinted on the psyche and unconsciously there may be connections {corridor} and after an argument you may consciously relate to those past experiences.

The city you used to live in is the past. That has yet to heal and you still feel the pain from that and perhaps the pain from your present relationship. You want that relationship to grow {bf} and you do not want to do anything to stop its development {miscarriage}. The two previous 'miscarriages' you experience may represent two past failed relationship ships {perhaps one being from childhood}. This is how you consciously look at the relationship {outside the building}.

You have experienced these emotions before {know what bus to catch}. But it is an unconscious thing and you are not able to communicate to your emotions to him where he understands {he can not or will not understand how you feel}.

You are not receiving the healing you need from your relationship with your bf {hospital like hotel}. Old emotions from childhood remain. You can not be your true self and can not be whole as life is {strange clothes you feel uncomfortable in}. That is partly due to the 'stains' from your past {childhood}. You want your bf to be a part of your life but you feel isolated, perhaps feeling the relationship has turned cold.

You need to communicate your true emotions with your bf but the relationship is too much like that with your mother. These are probably unconscious feelings related to your childhood and not something you are consciously aware of. You have yet to understand the unconscious relationship between the past and the present.

You have yet to realize the unconscious stimulus between the past and the present. You need something to elevate this unconscious attitude to consciousness. But you are at the threshold. The wisdom of the conscious is not what it seems. It is an unconscious attitude that needs to be elevated to consciousness.

Summary

My sense is the dream is addressing unconscious attitudes developed from childhood that resemble experiences you are having with your bf. What you need to do is not let those unconscious impressions blind you from what is real in the relationship with your bf. Not let those negative influences overshadow logic in that relationship. Although the relationship with you bf may have its problems you do not want past painful childhood experiences cloud how you react in this relationship. Those past experiences unconsciously influence how you think and act but that can not be how to react to the present relationship, even though it is not perfect.

Does this make sense, the part about the relationship with your bf and the emotions you feel at times in that? As I have stated many time previously, major childhood experiences are imprinted on the psyche and can influence how we act in the present.
Of course there may be similarities from childhood, perhaps the relationship between your mother and father, that resemble your own relationship with your bf.

gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

This was a very precise description of my situation. I KNOW that healing is needed in our relationship and that is what occupies almost my total concious thinking for the time beeing.
We've had our problems, and these problems have been magnified totally out of proportion because of my past experiences. My bf has let me down in the past, but he is not a bad guy with cruel intentions. We were both pretty desperate because our relationship was becoming so difficult and my selfesteem was so low. And he pulled away from me. But when he realized that he could really lose me, he came back, and he is now doing his best to save our relationship.
He is not very good at handling emotions, but he really tries, and that is proof to me that he loves me.
But still, the horror movie from the past is playing over and over in my mind, prevnting me from giving in to trusting him. I've been so deeply wounded in the past when allowing myself to believe that I was loved. It was in such a state I allowed myself to be abused, telling myself that this person loved me.
This has pattern has repeated itself many times in my life, but especially in two very destructive relationships.

I often find it impossible to stop my own defensive reactions when I get suspicious that my bf is hiding his true self from me. I KNOW this is not the truth when it comes to him, I KNOW it is my past haunting me, still it's like a survival instinct that hits in and takes full control of me. The past is then more real than the present.

So what do I do, when I KNOW he loves me and that he is not a monster, but the fear of reliving the traumas from the past is stronger than this knowledge? It's like I can't let myself believe in his love, because I need to protect myself, and his mistakes have triggered the emotional memories from these traumas.

I am seeing it all a bit clearer now, I think. Maybe I'm on the treshold of convincing myself once and for all that these fears really belongs to the past and let myself be loved. I hope so, because I really need to learn to trust again.

Inanna

Inanna,
It is such a great pleasure working with those who have the ability to recognize 'truths' and who are genuinely working on solving those inner issues. In my everyday world I see so little of that and to be able to retreat to this place in cyberspace {Dream Forum} and see you and others working on the inner self, it does give me hope for the rest of the world.

I do believe you are at that threshold {"Maybe I'm on the threshold of convincing myself once and for all that these fears really belongs to the past and let myself be loved"}. First you do realize what those fears are. Second you are working to 'convince' yourself that they do belong to the past and should not be that controlling influence they have been for so long. It is still a long road ahead but I believe if you will continue to focus on those, words, "these fears really belongs to the past and let myself be loved" you will find what you are looking for. Try to look at all things objectively first, and let the emotions be secondary, and you will begin to 'see' what was once cloaked in darkness. It is a natural process to protect oneself but that is very often a result of those emotional issues from the past that are the cause. If you can learn to separate the past from the here and now, look at it objectively instead of emotionally, you will learn to be "loved by yourself". And once you learn to love yourself, being loved by others will come naturally.

Isn't that what Pippi was trying to achieve in her story?

gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes