I am in a home that is empty. A man and a woman come into the home. I am now aware that there also a young boy in the home with me. The only items I am aware of in the home are two sets of clean, white linens on the floor, in different rooms. It is decided that we should leave this home. The young boy collects his linens and takes them with him. They have all gone outside while I am still inside, using the bathroom before I too gather my linens to leave. It is now dark, both outside and inside the house, and I am aware that the man is shining a flashlight into the windows of the home. Later, as I wake to use the bathroom, I am with thoughts and feelings of the Holy Mother – and feel to have just been receiving a psychic understanding (a working out, deeply, perceptually) as to why I did not develop/grow to know love/trust.

Later, still, I find myself in a very large room with many others. It is dimly lit, as if on a subterranean level. I am sitting at a table (we are all sitting at tables … there are many rows of tables) and have a small collection of raffle tickets. I win a drawing. And, then, another drawing. It is clothing items (non-specific, I do not recall details…or, they are not important) that I receive. It is Michael Rudnicki (a fatherly figure I knew from my days in the military, who held me in high esteem and adoration) who I see as the one awarding me with the clothing items. I feel very happy to have won the raffle. I next find myself at an underground mail room where I am going to receive my pay.

Before going to sleep, I had asked that I be shown, that love be brought to, the spaces inside of me that need my love.

Kristi

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Kristi,
I am going to turn the tables on you and get you to interpret this dream. I believe you have enough experience and knowledge to do so. Afterwards I will critique your interpretation along Jungian guidelines and see how it fits. Don't be afraid to provide an interpretation. You are in a better position than I to do it right.

A suggestion. Do not look at the dream in the context of it being about you. Think of it as some other person, your age. Dreams are a like a third person watching a play of the dreamer's life. Be that third person and look at the dream as if it were that play.

I have another reason for you to interpret your dream. In the past I have had others who have helped with the interpretations at the Dream Forum. Your interest in dreams and Jungian psyche make you a prime candidate to help others with their dreams. That is, if you have that desire to do so.

gerard/Jerry

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Gerard,

Okay. I will write it out late this afternoon, or this evening, as I need to now ready my self for school.

Kristi

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The house is metaphor for the self/person. All is happening “in” the dreamer. That there are only linens in the home reflects a scarcity, a lack of creature comforts, the possession of material worth – which may also be construed as a condition of having not assigned value/worth to the self/for one’s self. There has been an emptiness felt in the life of the dreamer. The man and woman reflect a union of masculine and feminine energies of the dreamer. They are together, in purpose. At this juncture, a “young boy” is brought into the dream field. The young boy may reflect new life, new awareness, new consciousness, the arising of a new focus/energy of direction – that of leaving this space of lack/value ... this space where the self is not valued/nurtured. When the dreamer sees this young boy, she also realizes that there are “two” sets of linens here… One for her and the other for the young boy. This reflects that the place of (un)consciousness being visited is from the young (early) life of the dreamer. This energy is being freed, for the older, wiser, more mature aspects of self (the couple) come to free the dreamer’s consciousness from the effects of this station of the past. The dreamer toilets her self to “eliminate” these effects. The shining of the flashlight during the moments of toileting is the shining of the light of consciousness into the darkness/unconscious. A pretty clear symbol, hence the dreamer wakens to feel a profound understanding and embrace of the divine feminine (love). The night’s messages continue by casting the dreamer before a large group of others (as opposed to the aloneness in the earlier picture). She is not only with/amongst these others, but is also finding that her animus (here, in the form of Michael Rudnicki) is awarding her, before these others, with new items to wear: a feeling of joy and happiness, of feeling self-esteem and adoration of self. Collecting her pay is about knowing her self/Self worth. It is this that the dream messages/visitors tell her to carry back to the topside world.

Kristi

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Kristi,
I have nor read your interpretation and will not do so until I post mine. I will compare the two in another post.

Interpretation
The empty home is you. To what aspect{s} it represents is what is to be determined. The man and woman, and young boy, probably represent aspects of your total psyche but may also represent actual waking experiences, something only you can discern. The white linens may represent purity in the form of wholeness {"linen is rectangular or square-white is purity}. The two sets in different rooms may suggest there are two aspects in your life that are changing or are in need of change. The young boy as an animus figure, taking his linen may be developing masculine aspects within your psyche having to do with 'purity' issues. The dream statement, "They have all gone outside" may suggest you have accomplished certain aspects of your journey to wholeness while needing to still eliminate other negatives {using the bathroom}. Unconsciously you are still seeking ways to attain wholeness, the masculine self taking a lead in that search {"masculine traits being what is needed most in your waking life search}.

Note: This masculine aspect within the dream may be alluding to your positive experiences with Michael Rudnicki, he representing masculine qualities that later in life that are of a positive benefit.

The last sentence of the first part of the dream. Is that an actual waking experience or part of the dream. I treated it as a waking experience {"getting up to use the bathroom}. The waking feelings you had do suggest spiritual connections to the dream. And suggests actual waking life experiences, early life experiences pertaining to growth. The people in your dream as actual waking experiences could fit with the '"develop/growth statement.

The large dimly lit room on a subterranean level would be unconscious aspects not quite realized or understood. The 'others' sitting at tables may suggest social connections {"perhaps having to do with early life experiences}. Raffle tickets are associated with games chance. You may feel fortunate at the right choices you have made thus far in your spiritual/personal journey, aspects that have changed you {"clothing items}. Those positive aspects would have to do with positive experiences in life {Michael Rudnicki}. Unconsciously this experience {Michael Rudnicki} is what has paid off later in your adult life.

The dream{s} do seem to be dealing with current issues of personal growth. I sense parts are dealing with actual early life family issues and others later personal experiences of the positive kind. You have been fortunate to have had a positive male role model and the dream is addressing that. And that aspect being at te end of the dream seems to be fulfilling that request before going to sleep of being shown love brought to spaces within you". The focus is on those aspects that need your love, those positive aspects that may not be fully utilized.
end of interpretation

Digest what I have given and see if it fits. I will compare my interpretation to yours and see where they have common ground. Your feelings are most important because you are the dreamer.

A Note About Positive Role Models
Again we seem to have something in common {what are the chances we both would serve our military service at Ft. Leavenworth, Ks. at the USDB?}. Your positive male role model was Michael Rudnicki. Mine was an African American high school teacher who took an introverted, shy, young boy {I am a natural extrovert} and made him believe 'he could'. If not for James T. Walker who knows where my life would have ended up. This was a dedicated man to his teaching profession that went beyond the call of duty. Mr. Walker was a positive influence on so many kids. He not only pulled me from that isolated state of being I had become at the age of 16 but also got me my job at the Metro Health Department which I worked in for 12 years {1971-1983}. Unfortunately his life came to a tragic end, his own son murdering him over an insurance policy.

And while on the subject of high school. Here is the website I built for my high school Hume Fogg Tech Class of 1968. In November of 2008 we had our 40th class reunion. If you will thumb through the pages of the year book you will see just how well Mr. Walker elevated my stature as a person. You can do that in this slide show of our senior year book. The first clue is on page 3 of the slideshow.

gerard/Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

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The only waking life experience(s) that fits within the theme of the (first) dream is that to which I have already alluded: an overall emptiness felt/experienced in my young life (some of our most formative years, I believe). Next to that, it does give me cause to consider what life was like for my son and I (during his young and growing years) … the underlying sense of emptiness that permeated my marriages (2 of them), and how the unresolved issues of his father (and step-father) and I affected him. In the dream, I had a sense of how this feeling-tone of emptiness continued on from my childhood. Not that this was a secret to me, for it is not. It is something I have been well aware of and has been shown me in many dreams and reflected in my waking life experiences. But I feel this dream, in concert with what I am now experiencing in my waking life, is showing that I am reaching/have reached a place where these effects can be let go of, in a greater way … With my beginning to move out into the world in a new and different way. I have been rebuilding my life, from the ground up, so to speak. I went back to school three years ago, feeling inside much like an awkward teenager with two left feet – and in a few months time will graduate with honors – and look forward to my new career role. I have spent the last few years in a certain amount of social isolation, as I have continued with my analysis and self-healing – as I have searched to find and develop a more “true” me. I now have a greater eagerness to be “me,” in the world, an ambitious looking-forward to sharing who I am, an increased hunger for more education (in the Self to self arena) and willingness and ablity to meet and greet the world in social venues.

I missed a direct association to the purity aspect. But I feel it fits. For, while I did not mention it (something I may not have known if this were not my own dream), I had a deep, deep sense of cleansing with this dream. I also had an association of the empty home and “just linens” as reflecting a bareness of self, of much of the falseness that has adorned me persona having been stripped away – just loin cloths left, sort of thing. I have often mused how the tragedy and emptiness of my early life is the very thing that kept me close to heart and soul – that kept me close to what mattered, most. Emptiness is not always a bad thing, when we can see that it may also be an invitation to what is core. What you wrote on this is good, for yes, I do believe my animus is evolving in the way of adopting a more pure vision and manner, way of regarding me (my life) and all of life. And I do agree, masculine traits are what is most needed at this time in my waking life journey. Michael Rudnicki is a rare man. He was more than a decade older than his peers (already senior to me, in rank, this put him at that fatherly age) and projected an esteemed, gentlemanly and noble persona. When he saw me, while he did value my abilities, he saw first, the woman beneath the uniform and always communicated this in indirect ways, in his care and regard for me. I still see him occasionally and it always my deep pleasure. He has always been like a light shining into me. I feel I need to reflect on his qualities, more. He has often appeared in my dreams. And I can see how my psyche was showing and reminding that what I did not have in the form of my own father, life gave to me in the form of Michael. There was also another man, from my young years, who filled this (father) role for me, now like a guardian from the other side (this is how he has come to me, as he is passed, now), and often brining such love and care, through my dreams. More of a grandfather’s age, he was a strong and protective man who contained deep insight.

The last part of the first dream was an actual waking life experience. I woke, with this dream fresh in my mind, and felt held in a “deeply” loving (holy) and healing embrace of Self. It penetrated to the core of my being. In the moments of this waking interlude, I knew that there in my sleep, after the dream, was a deep psychic working out of things. I have times where the memories from my sleeping (dream) hours are not as much as dreams as are they a changing/remodeling of the psychic constructs that have contained me. I “feel” the changing of my mind impressions, if you will, as though patterns of thought-forms/impressions are releasing/transforming. This is what was experienced.

Surely, there remain unconscious aspects that still need uncovering … that still need to light of awareness brought to them. Perhaps this is why I see the flashlight shining in the windows during the moments of my toileting. But the biggest feeling sense I carry away from the subterranean scene is that this animus figure is saying to me, “Look, Kris (as Michael called me), of all these here, I choose you. Again, and again, I choose you.” And in that moment, I feel “happy” and able to stand up before this crowd of others, knowing that Michael applauds me. In saying this now, I realize that I omitted to provide descriptions of the “feeling” tones in these dream scenes – something which is very important to the meaning of dreams. In my elation, I then go to collect my (self) pay (worth).

I realize my own interpretation above did not provide this much detail, but I was trying to pretend it was not my own dream – which was kind of difficult.

When I have interpreted dreams for others, my style has been to use story form – a sort of re-mixing of the salad … a way of giving the images back to the dreamer in a way that helps them to see the positive and encouraging their embracing the dream characters, as their self.

What a stately old high school you attended! And I can see and feel that it is very nice to have all those memories, all those years of growth, contained in album format. I am positively impressed by your endeavors, this dream site (and how helpful it is to others), your high school web pages, etc.

As it relates to others in our life, and how their touching of our lives multiplies our wholeness, I could not agree more. I do feel very fortunate (raffle) to have had the helpful associations I have. Not many who have experienced what I did in early life ever heal to a truly significant degree and I am truly thankful to have traveled, already, as far as I have. Sometimes, the gratitude pours from heart center, like a beam of light. And I continue to march on, praying only that I be able to “give back” from the grace that has guided (and does guide) my life.

Kristi

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Kristi,
I think you did a very good job of interpreting the dream. Although there were some differences {the linen} both interpretations touched on the same recognizable symbols and how they fit within the dream. Overall the dream, and reflected in both interpretations, is addressing those personal growth issues you are dealing with in your life. Both the negative and the positives.

A glimpse of how I look at a dream statement, as in the following statement.

“Look, Kris (as Michael called me), of all these here, I choose you. Again, and again, I choose you.” And in that moment, I feel “happy” and able to stand up before this crowd of others, knowing that Michael applauds me.

Replace Michael as an aspect of your own masculine psyche. You are applauding yourself, and happy you are able to stand before the others and other aspects of self. Michael's positive impact is reflected as an aspect of your own positives in your search for personal growth.
Even when there are references to real people in a dream {those persons will always be close, a relative, a husband/wife, a close relationship-and sometimes persons who were important to a personal experience that left an impression on your psyche}, if there is confusion what they represent, look to personal aspects to help clarify the possibilities of their meaning within the dream, i.e., Michale representing not only himself in that close relationship but also a masculine aspect of your own psyche. Both will most always fit. The only need would be which is more important {sometimes both are}.

There are many nuances to understanding dreams. A person or action within a dream can at one moment represent one thing, and in the next paragraph represent something different. it often gets down to the direction of the dream is taking, simple variances that apply to the dreamer that are often missed when just analyzing single symbols. It is the motifs, the patterns that provide the most insights to dreams.

And let the intuitive self have free reign when you look at a dream. Much of the intuitive is pure common sense. We all possess an intuitive aspect. Women usually have a deeper intuitive sense {intuitiveness is a feminine aspect}. When i look at a dream i try to put myself within that dream scenario and experience the flow of the action within the dream motif. Of course dreams will often go in one direction and then suddenly seem to change. But there is always an association to all the actions within the dream that is attempting to address one or more emotional conflict within the dreamer's life. That is what dreams do, address emotional conflicts with a desire to help work through those conflicts. On reason I call dreams the 'soul's desire'.

When I first began analyzing dreams my interpretations were more general and focused on individual symbols. After many years of experience in working with dreams my intuitive sense developed and expanded. Plus I became more learned in the general outlines of Jungian psyche {which is most important in understanding and interpreting dreams}. Don't shy away from giving your thoughts, and interpretations to your dreams, as well as others. You are on the correct path to understanding dreams and with time you will also develop those intuitive instincts and 'see' within the dream aspects an uneducated {in Jungian psyche} mind will miss. We need to remember dreams are not the 'cure all' to personal growth but one tool in that search for balance and harmony in one's life. Sometimes I sense some expect too much from dreams.

Now, if you want to really explore the deeper psyche, it is there where the true mysteries reside. They are not really 'mysterious' mysteries as they are unknown qualities within nature. I firmly believe if it exists, it exists within nature and can be explained with proper examination. There are those things that can not be explained. But not because they are beyond explanation but because we are merely unable to understand them. Within due time the human psyche will be able to explain them. Before Einstein came up with his theory or relativity it was unexplainable. It is that simple. At least in my mind it is and I possess an average mind at best.

gerard/Jerry

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Gerard,

Thank you. I will venture more into sharing my understanding of my own dreams - while still welcoming the input of others - and will also offer any insights I feel I may have for the dreams of others, as my time allows.

I like what you said of our dreams being as our soul's desire. I have a friend who described dreams as being "a wish our heart's make." I feel the goal of all dreams is that of healing and wholeness. And you are right... I too have been one who expected too much from dreams. We have to do our part, take the necessary actions toward healing in our life. Our dreams are not magic wands, per se, but definately give guidance.

I have a question... you earlier referred to putting things into their proper place when speaking of/about negative incluences/imprints from the past. Would you please elaborate on that? What do you mean by putting things in their proper place? Could you give an example of this?

Kristi

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Kristi,
By putting things into their proper place is to discover and confront those past experiences/influences/imprinting that have had an unconscious/conscious influence in later life into perspective. Primarily it is the need to deal with those experiences and discover who/what was the active agent that caused later life influences. If the agent was a parent then it is important to confront not only the emotions involved in the experiences but also the parent also {in most cases}. What were the forces early in life that caused unconscious attention to those experiences later in life? Very often the dreamer is left feeling they were to blame for the emotional conflict while all along it was someone/something else that was to blame, or caused the conflict. Once there is the acknowledgement of the experience {often the experience{s} are repressed} and the person{s} are confronted, then there is the need to move on with your life and not let the past negatives influence your actions as they had previously {and often unconsciously}. The unconscious attachment to the past is very often the root cause to what leads a person to act in a particular way later in life.

An example from my life
My father was a selfish, self centered man who thought only of himself. He was never a loving or accepting parent, never gave any quality time to any of his children or marriage. At the age of six he left my mother and 4 young children without any support, financial or otherwise. My mother {who is a true heroine} was uneducated, unemployed and without family {we lived in another city from where she was raised}. So my life as a child was mostly in poverty and embarrassment {my feelings because of my zealous pride}. It caused me and my 3 sisters not only hardships growing up but stunted our personal growth which affected our entire lives {a norm for many children in that situation}. What could have been a better and more fruitful life for all of us became a struggle to succeed with a lot of unconscious burdens.

The influences of my father's actions, and his lack of attention and love as a father, became unconscious stimulus for my own actions in my early adulthood. Although I never was and could never be a delinquent parent as he was, I still imitated his actions of being unfaithful {except in my 3rd marriage}. And running away when times got tough {emotionally in my 3 of marriages}. I can remember after an argument {just before the end of my second marriage} standing on the balcony of the apartment we lived in and feeling this void, something that was missing, something that even an intelligent, lovely and loving wife could not fill. That was the first inclination of something unconscious was at play. But I had no idea what it was. I only felt I needed to find something better, someone who could fill that void. That of course wasn't possible because the void was psychological.

In 1992 I was once again facing a failed marriage. There were problems other than my own unconscious shortcomings but nothing that should not and could not have been remedied if I only had tried. But once again I felt the need to run, find something to fill the emptiness I felt. Although 'looking for love in the wrong places' no longer had its strong control over me, there was still the void within me.

It was at that time, just before the 3rd marriage ended, I saw Joseph Campbell and The Power of Myth' on PBS. After that one hour of listening, and watching, what Campbell had to say, I knew I had discovered something, something that would change my life. I was 'caught' {the words of Campbell} up by the myths and that eventually led me to Carl Jung and his process of 'Individuation'. Through many years of self therapy I eventually realized the void within me was that of never having been loved by my father as a child. I spend my life looking to fill that void through sex {we all have particular weaknesses-sex, drugs, food, violent tempers, etc.}. It was only after I realized what was unconsciously controlling me, and confronting my own weaknesses {I never confronted my father because I felt he didn't deserve the attention} that I was able to resolve those inner conflicts, the wounds instilled as a child, and move past the influences that caused so much grief in my life and the lives of others. You can call it a cure, or merely becoming wiser from the knowledge, but that child who was never properly loved had move on with his life.

But there are still times when I look back and visually see that young boy of the 1950s and 60s, and feel the emotions of that time. It keeps me tuned to the feelings of other 'little boys' {and girls} who are suffering from similar maladies, as well as a young mother who I may see walking down the street with child in hand, knowing they are lacking in proper financial and emotional nourishment. I had found a cure for my emotional ailments and at the same time developed a deep sense of compassion for those who are less fortunate {which extends to animals as well}. I can remember being in their shoes, and the emotional pain they too must feel. And my desire, the thing that has replaced my own inner pain, is to believe there is something on this earth that can eliminate all suffering of every child that is lacking the love and acceptance they need to properly grow. And although I know there is no such cure, I do what I can in the best way I know how, to help others in their search for fulfillment of that inner void.
That is the spiritual identity Campbell and Jung allude to in their philosophies of the psyche. I am not a religious person, I no longer believe in the righteous religion of man. But I do believe in the spiritual aspect of the psyche, Jung's model of the psyche. It is through the Dream Forum and Myths-Dreams-Symbols I try to 'give' of myself to help others. The creative aspect is the spiritual aspect in that through the creative self you give of yourself. Whether it be a painting that communicates unconsciously, or a poem that speaks to the soul, it is a spiritual endeavor that prompts the soul to be creative, and to share what is in the heart so others may benefit.

So, we have gone from an unconscious conflict to an unconscious desire. Making those unconscious aspects conscious, that is the primary goal in the quest to 'putting things in their proper place'. I took the long route to explaining my intent of that phrase and I hope I did a proper job of it. You will notice I have no problem speaking of my own life experiences, and conflicts. It is in itself therapy. I would like to think, and hope, that others will do the same. And with the outcome being as positive as my own experience in exploring the psyche.

gerard/Jerry

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Gerard,

Thank you for sharing this. I thought to ask because I wanted to compare your notes (wisdom/understanding)gained on your journey with my own journey thus far, to see if I might gain some more inklings of understanding. I think I have. There are some items in what you wrote that I may like to come back to, to talk more about. For now, what stands out for me, is where you mentioned having confronted your own weaknesses, and how that, for me, ties in with the need to let go of blame (of which I have recently spoken). Without that, we cannot accept responsibility for ourselves. We have to "accept," then, we can shore up our weakness and "move on." It is interesting for I just read a quote of another (today, yesterday, maybe) that said something to the effect of, "Do not place blame outside of yourself (onto others), but fix your own weakness." Add my earlier talk of letting go of blame to your words regarding confronting your own weaknesses, and it says the same thing as the quote of this wise person. You also mentioned having become more wise from the knowledge (a cure) and that the child you were had to move on with his life - (in my writing those words my whole body goes goosefleshed inside and out, tingles up my spin, a sign I am hearing something important/true) - and it has me to know the driving factor behind my motivation to read, participate, learn more, for I have been heavily slanted in the feeling (feminine) function and not enough in intelligent objectivity (masculine). You also said the void was psychological. This is the first time I have heard another describe an emotionally felt condition as "psychological" (I have heard terms/phrases other than "psychological" used in this regard) - but it is true, for what is there without a thought or belief that "I feel empty" inside? Who is there? What is there? Who is thinking the thought? And where are they at? Can it or they be located outside of "thought?" I am not suggesting that our experiences do not matter, or are not real, not at all. For believing in lack (of love), as learned, is very real to a child ... a very real condition in our world. But I beleive we come to find, after all, that loving ourselves is our job, first. I also wanted to share that I know well what you mean when you speak of having compassion for others, how it is born from learning to have compassion for one's self, and all that we grow through.

I hope others will share more, too. It does do a world of good for ourselves.

I could share more now, but I have already talked longer than I currently have time for.

Thanks again.

Kristi

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