Very close before my eyes, in a darkened field (black space), I see a large image of closed (yet to open) flower pods/buds. I have a distinct reference to the number “5.” The buds are a darkened (nearly black in color themselves), velvety brown and covered in moisture and drops of dew. I know that this image has something to do with “consciousness.” I am left with (wake with) the word “sameness” on my mind.

Kristi

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Kristi,
Sameness is exactly the message if the dream. The flower is you.

That reminds me of the story Campbell told concerning the question about 'the meaning of life'.

From The Power of Myth

Bill Moyers: You changed the definition of a myth from the search for meaning to the experience of meaning.

Joseph Campbell: Experience of life. The mind has to do with meaning. What's the meaning of a flower. There's the Zen story about a sermon of the Buddha in which he simply lifted a flower. There was only one man who gave him a sign with his eyes that he understood what was said. Now, the Buddha himself is called "the one thus come". There's no meaning. What's the meaning of the universe? What's the meaning of a flea? It's just there. We're so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it's all about.

---------
the rapture of being alive. My rapture is in my dream work and exploring the psyche. What is yours? The flower blossoms when that personal rapture is realized. There is a true feeling of being alive, there is meaning in life, to life.

How can you finally blossom into your greatest potential? Follow your bliss.

Follow your bliss.

If you do follow your bliss,

you put yourself on a kind of track

that has been there all the while waiting for you,

and the life you ought to be living

is the one you are living.

When you can see that,

you begin to meet people

who are in the field of your bliss,

and they open the doors to you.

I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid,

and doors will open

where you didn't know they were going to be.

If you follow your bliss,

doors will open for you that wouldn't have opened for anyone else.

When you think about it you realize it is really a simple equation. Campbell was a master of articulation. And he has tapped into that 'secret knowledge' that isn't really so secret as it is undiscovered. George Lucas built a whole series of movies centered on these philosophies and they naturally resonate.

"Let go Luke, use the Force".

not much difference in that and the creed philosophy of Unity churches in their dictate:

'Let go and let god'

Talk about sameness

--------------------

The secret language of symbol and metaphor. The language of the universal psyche. The language of myth. And the language of dreams.

gerard/Jerry

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Gerard,

What you have shared here is very resonant for me just now. And, this morning, it has me to think of a poem which was dedicated to me at the end of a Soulcraft Journey I went on with the folks from the Animas Valley Institute. It was Dawna Markova’s, “I Will Not Die an Unlived Life.”

I will not die an unlived life
I will not live in fear
Of falling or catching fire

I choose to inhabit my days
To allow my living to open me
To make me less afraid
More accessible

To open my heart
Until it becomes a wing
A torch, A promise

I choose to risk my significance
So that which came to me as seed
Goes to the next as blossom
And that which came as blossom
Goes on as fruit

Sitting there, on my knees, in the center of the circle, when he (Bill Plotkin) came to the words, "I choose to risk my significance," and went on, I fell to a weeping. Inside of me, I knew, I would need to die this death of self, hence the tears.

There's been a bit of a watershed in these past days, a deeper letting go, as I feel such grace moving in my life.

Given my dream (which I will post shortly), of the evening before you posted this response, I could only see your words/sharing as most timely... Let Go Luke, Use the Force... Let Go, Let God.

Yes, I think the flower is me and that I am being asked to get out of the way.

I don't think I know my calling yet, specificially. But I do know that it rests in serving others, in giving back, in returning something to the world. Right now, I am finding that in my volunteer work, and simply practicing open-heartedness, being brave enough to step forward to meet it - and I do feel doors opening.

Kristi

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This dream came on an evening when I read a passage on Kali, written by another woman. She spoke of the release from suffering. She told of how Kali swings her sword to free her from her attachments that cause her misery, etc. She shared a poem that spoke of how she likes to hang on when the Mother/Kali is trying to lead her into new life. I began weeping, feeling I was like this woman (the same/"Sameness?") and that the Mother was/is wanting to bring me greater healing and new life, but that I needed to let go. I was just feeling this rebirth process intensely speaking to me, hence my flower pods/buds dream, I feel. The number five is about change, amongst other things, but "change" is what I have most associated it with. The image itself was like a living symbol. Though the space was dark/black, the image was as if filled with light/life.

My analyst and I only spoke of this dream today, as too many other things have filled our time together on earlier dates. And today, I needed to talk about the Dark Goddess, after having sent a few long letters on this subject on to my analyst during the past week. My analyst referred me to the "Quintessence." I take the following from "The Enigma of Numbers," page 226:

"...the goal of the alchemists was to derive the quintessence 'from the four...separate the pure from the impure, gently and with judgment, and so you obtain the quitessence, the Son of the Sun,' thereby drawing a parallel between Christ and the Quitessence. Since Jung has indicated the symbolic equivalence of Christ (God-Image) with the psychological Self (the total personality that stands beyond, but embraces the ego), it can be seen that the one essential driving force behind all these symbols is the unity in consciuosness of the total psychic system, which has always stood as the ultimate goal. Jacobi (1974) writes:

'The five, or in other words, the four united in the quintessence, is not a derivative...but an independent whole that is more than the sum of its parts. It is the superessential that transcends all the rest.'"

And it goes on...

I only know that it was a profound dream space that I was in, very profound. While the feeling energy affected my entire being, it was felt most intensely in my mind/as consciousness, hence perhaps further driving home the sensation of knowing that this dream had to do with consciousness.

Kristi

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Kristi,
Alchemy is metaphor the search for the Soul. As often the case the desire to change chemical substances into gold is a misinterpretation of the true goal. Gold is the soul. Blending all the inner substances of the psyche, discovery of the soul, that is the eternal life that we should be seeking, not a literal search of alchemical source. The soul survives although the body does not.

My thinking is anytime you are walking with Kali you are engaged a 'big' dream. Such dreams usually occur during major changes or realizations in the dreamer's life. The attachments of misery are the emotions, as well as associations with social duty.

Strange you mention the number 5 as being associated with change. I have for a long time associated the number five with change. The change is from the dark unconscious coming into the light of consciousness. That leads to changes in your personal life. But not only personal experiences, those unresolved personal conflicts of emotions and experience, but also a greater awareness of the mysteries within the psyche {for which I believe there are many we are not consciously aware of}. When I quote the parable 108 of the Gospel of Thomas there is that final part of the proverb I believe to have deeper meaning. The parable is as follows:

Jesus said, "Whoever drinks from my mouth will become like me; I myself shall become that person, and the hidden things will be revealed to him."

The hidden things I believe to be aspects of the psyche that have been lost, ignored or forgotten. The intuitive aspect I believe to be one of those 'hidden things'. From my many years of interpreting dreams, it has been within the past couple of years I have begun to read dreams intuitively more than just interpreting a dream. Primitive man lived by his instincts more so than intelligence {since he did have limited intelligence}. These instincts have not been completely lost, merely neglected because of our intellectual abilities.

I sense from your many posts and your own self analyzing you are at that threshold of realizations that come with that prolonged and thorough self examination. But having studied Jung you have access to more valuable info other than just the personal. There are greater things to come. Stay the path, do not be afraid of the dark, and the hidden things will be revealed.

Jerry

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Hi Jerry,

Though I did not indicate, yes, I know that “alchemical gold” is metaphor for “soul.” Coming from someone who has always seen everything in life as symbol for some deeper meaning, I often take for granted that this is understood of me and that my communications point to that. It does not mean I always know the deeper meanings/understandings… but I am always searching for them.

I have been receiving some enlightening discoveries about myself recently, and with that feeling a greater sense of responsibility. I have a lot of journaling to do as the picture emerges.

These last several months have been very intense for me…the last several years, for sure…but especially these last several months. Part of what I was writing about to my analyst during the past week entailed my having pieced together some various aspects/signposts from my journey, culminating in the space of self I presently find myself in.

Interesting I just used the word “signposts,” as my analyst [last week] was wearing a runic character charm that indicated “signals.” She wore it for me that day, as inspired to do, and shared her rune set with me over some conversation on them.

My association with Kali is directly related to my association with Ammachi (Sri Mata Amritananda Mayi), who has been as a personification of the Black Madonna, to me, for some years now. I borrow these words from Matthew Fox (founder of the University of Creation Spirituality):

“The Black Madonna is the transcendent Kali-Mother, the black womb of light out of which all of the worlds are always arising and into which they fall, the presence behind all things, the darkness of love and the loving unknowing into which the child of the Mother goes when his or her illumination is perfect.” [4] She calls us to that darkness which is mystery itself. She encourages us to be at home there, in the presence of deep, black, unsolvable mystery.

http://www.matthewfox.org/sys-tmpl/theblackmadonna/

When I first went again to meet/spend time with Ammachi late last year, I woke in the evening, in a profound (dream-???) space, seeing and feeling myself entering into a dark, deep, vast, sea-like womb space...

This after sitting in meditation earlier the same evening and finding the arrival of spontaneous images of corpse-like death and decay.

I was afraid, my rational mind questioning, "What is happening?"

There is certainly profound change occurring within me.

I am not sure where I picked up/how I came upon the meaning of number 5 being as indicating change, but this is the meaning it has held for me for some time now. My holding of it also includes the Divine Feminine, as being the agent/harbinger of the change.

Thank you, very much, for what you added regarding the 108th parable of the Gospel of Thomas. I can “feel” that.

You speak of our primitive instincts not being lost, and I must share that given the way I grew in my young life, they never felt lost to me, for when one lives a somewhat animal-like existence, having to rely on one’s instincts/senses in the effort to protect one’s self from harm, they are not far away. As I pondered this of my young life years ago, I came to see/feel that our instincts are synonymous with intuition. There are many things I feel to have a deep understanding of for which I do not have a scholarly/learned vocabulary to define. Maybe I should go back to school yet again, someday!

I had to wonder as I read your response last night, “Did Jerry know/intuit that I have been feeling afraid of the dark?” I have been. And I imagine many in a similar space are, at least at first. Regardless, thank you, very much, for your words of encouragement.

I cannot but stay the path, for the impetus is like the daemon in me, that keeps guiding me forward.

So as to not scare anyone with my use of the word daemon, here is a brief etymology/meaning of the word, from Wiktionary: From Ancient Greek δαίμων (daimon, “a god, goddess, divine power, genius, guardian spirit”), from δαίω (daio, “to divide, to distribute destinies, to allot”).

Kristi

P.S. I had a dream last night that feels to have come resultant from this conversation. I will post it later.

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The Black Madonna is the transcendent Kali-Mother, the black womb of light out of which all of the worlds are always arising and into which they fall, the presence behind all things, the darkness of love and the loving unknowing into which the child of the Mother goes when his or her illumination is perfect.” [4] She calls us to that darkness which is mystery itself. She encourages us to be at home there, in the presence of deep, black, unsolvable mystery.

Those were actually Andrew Harvey's words, on one of Matthew Fox's pages ... just wanted to correct my error.

Kristi

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Kristi,
I have a great trust that you know much of what I say. I say it not to impress you as but to inform those who do not know. You know, because you have gone inward. Others think they know because they refuse to go inward. Kali is the inward path. The weakness of ego centered people are laid to shreds because they dare to speak of her without true knowledge. That knowledge comes only from the inner world. The ego mind from which most people live is an inferior world of confusion and emotions. Kali lays bare the emotions, shreds them up without mercy. Such is the plight of the outer world of ego. Such an emotional world.

From the list of your personal contacts you have undoubtedly an abundance of great experiences you can count on in the future. Teachers are the fabric from which we receive great treasures. To share what we have learned, that is the hero path.

And more of Kali. Kali, the Great Mother of the dark
unconscious. I know her. And I also know if you can survive her sword the rewards are great. You have a great ally in her force. Wear it well, to benefit not only mankind but all that is within nature. She is nature, the darkness that is pure light. She is there for those who are able to see. Most are unable to see.
For those others,
her sword is swift and dangerous.

Jerry

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Jerry - my thanks for these explanations that Kristi already knows of. I am one of those whos your explanations benefit.

These exchanges are of such a great quality and I enjoy following along. I may be quiet at times but I am ever-present and learning.

Journey on,
Rook

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Rook,
Much appreciation for your post. I often wonder if what is posted at the Forum resonates with those who visit and seek answers in their journey. Your response provides incentives for myself as well as others who so graciously are willing to share their experiences. We all have a story to tell. We learn from each story. Sharing isn't always that easy. But I believe it is great therapy for all.

Jerry

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Hi Jerry,

Despite your knowing I understand much of what you share, it does benefit me by why of recognizing that I am in familiar company. Not just that, but also because you are able to extend to me a more objective perspective than I myself may have in a given moment (being I am a person of intense feeling and passion)- you have helped me much in this way. And I greatly appreciate how much my sharing here on the forum benefits me. I also know it helps others, for just as another's story/sharing may provide a window/insight into my own self (and often does), I am sure mine does the same for those others also able to appreciate that. We are none so different, really.
I hope more find that this is a safe place to share, as have I.


Ref. Kali, you said, She is Nature, the darkness that is pure light. My recent experiences with nature, literally, reveal this to me. I can hardly look at the natural world sometimes without (literally) bowing down to the majesty before me. The intensity of light I see and feel there runs all through me. I feel so intimately connected, the energy moves through me, opening my heart, causign me to throw my arms up in the air as if in surrender/worship. I feel so insignificant in such moments, my ego self does, and it makes me to weep, realizing how we (I) so little paid attention to Her (Nature), too busy living life from our ego based view. That is where all power rests, in nature. Anything else is just imagination.

I started seeing a sword swinging (in my inner vision) last year. It was a strange feeling time, so many insights/intuitions were speaking to me, and always this sword swinging, as if telling me I was seeing illusion, all the things that busy our minds. It feels like a ruthless love to me, Hers. And I do feel she is laying my emotions bare/raw...hence my need for the love as depicted in Michelangelo's Pieta.

Kristi

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If this were my dream, what these symbols may perhaps be alluding to, I shall put it in the first person:

*Something important is coming into my consciousness, something still living about myself. Although I am unconscious about it, and there is an element of deep depression, enough light allows five flowers to emerge into my consciousness. Though the flower means many things, perhaps here it is a symbol of unripened sexuality. A flower in a pod/bud shape is yet closed, sealed off, virginal, shut. But the buds are darkened, nearly black, flowers darken and turn black as they are dying. In the psyche as in life,nothing realy dies, it changes transforms, the old unexpressed sexual way of being is being shed...like velvety brown the colour of the menstrual cycle as it is shedding what has died and is no longer needed, and five is the number of nature, of humankind and sometimes of mankind as the diagram of leonardo's human makes five points with a man's head and limbs...the negative masculine is connected to this. Moisture and drops of dew evoke readiness, yet in this context it is the end, for the colors of the flowers are the colors of dying flowers...and then I wake sameness...something about my way of being is the same as this...the negative masculine is similar to the unexperienced unbudded unblossomed flowers that are dying...it is time for change for healing."

I don't know, I'm just offering some poetic imagery that may click, or not.

Cheers,
May

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May,

This is about death and birth to new. It's a process. Change is the only constant.

K

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Kristi,

Yes, so true. Change is constant. The journey is always upwards, Godwards, and lifewards...death only in the service of rebirth. Excellent.

Cheers,
May

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Have a good day!

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