I know when I am awoken from a deep sleep because of a dream, that's my calling card to pay extra attention to the guidance in what I dreamt. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I know it's an important message.
I had a dream, and two fragments. Here they are:

I am in my old bedroom in the house I grew up in. My Dad has touched my privates with his finger - just a slight touch. I get mad and go off on him. I go to my Mom in the kitchen and she does nothing. I go in the bedroom and my younger sister? (or a "younger girl") is asleep in a bed. Next to the bed is a window with my (current)cat on the sill, getting soaking wet from rain, looking pissed. I pull up the screen and let her in. My Dad (a younger version) is in a bed in the room - I yell and get mad again, and then he's gone. He's then in his own room. He left a red shirt behind on the door knob. I grab it and throw it back to him.

Fragment 1:
I clearly see the back of my own head - my brown hair, and that's it - the back of my head.

Fragment 2:
I am at a large farm, outdoors. Two guys walk passed me, singing a song about naming a baby "mango" - ?! I then see lots of what I call "spring mud", a fun mud...and a new baby and a person with a black face, but no distinctive features that I can see. There is a junxtaposition of the baby's very stark white clothes against a black body - the contrast is so striking to me. I wake up.

I need mention I was never molested by my Dad - there has never been any inappropriate behavior in my childhood by him or anyone else - so, the dream truly did it's job by getting my full attention.

I am on the cusp of turning a page in my life. I have done plenty of healing and inner work these past many years, and head on. I know I'm stepping into something new, but I don't know "what" - I know I am *almost* there, but have some lingering issues that need healing before I can truly step into new shoes - probably old issues about relationships and love. I am ready to shed the old skin and step into something new, even if I have no clue what that is. It's much like being on a cliff and ready to jump - scary and exhilarating, at the same time. I think the dream says something about that, and is a preparation for me to help myself heal more.

Thank you for reading.
M

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 44, Pennsylvania

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Maureen,
Since there is no history of inappropriate behavior by your father to match the dream scenario, could the intent of the dream be focusing on other associations with your father? There may be associations to adult life experiences with men that are grounded in the relationship with your parents causing you to have attitudes as an adult that are destructive. Bot of the dream representations of the little sister, or little girl asleep in a bed, and the cat on the sill getting wet from rain could be symbols for unconscious attitudes {both representing the unconscious}. And the back of your head, that too could point to unconscious aspects. And the stark white clothes{persona} against a black body {unconscious attitudes}.

Have you examined all the possibilities in your relationship with your parents to determine their role in who you are as an adult? Most often when a dream presents experiences as a child then there are associations to that period of your childhood that needs attention. Although there may not have been any inappropriate behavior sex wise, those images may be symbolic of some other behavior from your father, not necessarily inappropriate but perhaps having to do with not 'touching' you in ways a parent should in providing love and attention children so desperately need.

And the anger. is there anger in your life as an adult? If so, have you determined the origins of that anger? Once again it may be pointing to your childhood and the relationship with your parents {in the dream your mother does nothing}.

Finally, could these people in your dream represent you and present day experiences? Do you have children? Is there any anger on your part in any way in those relationships? Or with men in your life that may be represented by your father? Many possibilities to look at. But the good news is if you continue to examine your whole life you will eventually discover the source of who you are and why you are that person as an adult.

Let me know your thoughts on my suggestions and perhaps we can learn more from your response about your dreams and yourself.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Hi Jerry,

Thanks very much for helping with my dream.

You wrote:
There may be associations to adult life experiences with men that are grounded in the relationship with your parents causing you to have attitudes as an adult that are destructive.

Oh, yes, agreed. I am divorced, and since learning to date again, and via failed relationships, I want to see the limited belief I have. It's been quite a few years, and I am wanting a healthy relationship. That is some of the impetus in wanting to help myself heal.

My Dad was not physically abusive, but emotionally, he did not foster a good sense of self esteem in myself. I see now that's because he himself had none, and continue to work on repairing my own self esteem. And there is anger, because of how I was molded to see myself, and also when I feel my boundary has been crossed - I get furious when I feel being taken advantage of. The Irish temper is real.



I do have one son. I have raised him quite differently than that of my own stereotypical, Irish-very-Catholic upbringing. My life has been much richer since removing myself from the "God-In-A-Box" mentality of a religious upbringing, and I make sure he benefits from that.

I think after many years of earnest onion peeling, I am a little frustrated, feeling impatient. I appreciate my vivid dream life, but sometimes get frustrated when I can't find the guidance that I so sorely want to know. And I do see how hard I can be on myself.

Continue onion peeling...

Thanks again,
Maureen

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 44, Pennsylvania

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Maureen,
In the dream the part of your dad touching your privates may well be symbolic of touching your 'private' self, your emotional self. "but emotionally, he did not foster a good sense of self esteem in myself" would fit with that theme. Establishing such beginnings in childhood can help uncover unconscious emotional behavior in adulthood. Your raising your son differently from how you were raised is a conscious by product of that. But the lingering, and often unconscious, affects childhood experiences have on your personality may be stronger than realized. Perhaps there is some aspect to that the dream is trying to address {and help you work through}. Could there be some unconscious attitudes that get in the way of your having a healthy relationship? Could those attitudes be partly because of childhood experiences with your dad? Do you have a great expectation of men, and a frustration in not finding someone who is opposite your father? Could it be the relationships that failed were because those men were really like your father? Unconsciously we tend to choose such relationships thinking they are different. Getting to the source to any problems in choosing the right guy may be what the dream is attempting to do.

What are the 'lingering' issues you still need to resolve? The frustration and impatience may be due feelings of 'time running out', being at mid-life and having to face those difficult issues {mid-life crisis}. Perhaps you are being too hard on yourself and need to look at things more objectively {what dreams do} and less emotionally.

There is one clue in your response. Your temper. Is that something you inherited from your father? Has it been in any way a probelm in your relationships? Although choosing men may have its handicaps {they are the problem}, there is also the possibility part of the problem lies with your temper.

Explore all the possibilities when it comes to relationships and determine what needs changing. And the conscious 'lingering' issues. Perhaps if you could elaborate on those we will be able to determine more of what your dreams are trying to communicate about those issues.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Hello Jerry,

Pardon my tardiness in replying. Spring is my busy season as well, and am subject to the "social dragon" you speak of.

Maureen,
In the dream the part of your dad touching your privates may well be symbolic of touching your 'private' self, your emotional self. "but emotionally, he did not foster a good sense of self esteem in myself" would fit with that theme. Establishing such beginnings in childhood can help uncover unconscious emotional behavior in adulthood. Your raising your son differently from how you were raised is a conscious by product of that. But the lingering, and often unconscious, affects childhood experiences have on your personality may be stronger than realized. Perhaps there is some aspect to that the dream is trying to address {and help you work through}. Could there be some unconscious attitudes that get in the way of your having a healthy relationship? Could those attitudes be partly because of childhood experiences with your dad? Do you have a great expectation of men, and a frustration in not finding someone who is opposite your father? Could it be the relationships that failed were because those men were really like your father? Unconsciously we tend to choose such relationships thinking they are different. Getting to the source to any problems in choosing the right guy may be what the dream is attempting to do.

*Yes, to all your questions! I can be hard on myself, and I believe that shows itself through having high expectations. Hypnosis has been suggested to me. I have found a teacher for meditation and self awareness that I am confident will help me see what I am too close to. I believe the saying is, 'you can't see the picture when you're the picture frame'. That's where I'm at.*

What are the 'lingering' issues you still need to resolve? The frustration and impatience may be due feelings of 'time running out', being at mid-life and having to face those difficult issues {mid-life crisis}. Perhaps you are being too hard on yourself and need to look at things more objectively {what dreams do} and less emotionally.

* Whatever is "lingering" is that Something I can't seem to put my finger on. It's such a knee-jerk reaction when I am in a relationship, so subtle, that I am missing it, and therefore, don't know how to correct, despite my best efforts.
My anger and frustration has probably caused me to be *less* emotional and more cut-and-dry. The divorce brought on a tougher shell.

I'm only 5'2" and slight but I've always been a very strong woman. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, I feel like I've been put through the ringer, and I am still standing. My faith and relationship with God has been my mainstay through my trials. I know from how my body is speaking to me that I am in need of nurturance, so I give it to myself, but also desire it from a partner - which opens me to being vulnerable - which I am not comfortable with - and therein lies the vicious cycle.

My temper - it takes a lot to get me mad. It comes out when a boundary has been crossed, or I feel like I've been blatantly taken advantage of. I am not afraid to say what's on my mind when that happens, but I do it tactfully and hit the bulls-eye when I do. I watched my Mother take my Dad's crap for years - I didn't and still don't. I've gone toe-to-toe with him, and other men, including bosses. I won't be treated badly, and that's that. When I feel I have been, out comes the temper. In relationships, I don't know if it's the anger per se, as much as the male energy that comes out. I've done some counseling work with that one, and I still struggle with it.

Thanks for letting me write that all out! I had another interesting dream last night, I will post it later on. I think I am getting warmer to what wants "out".

Thanks for your insights ~
M

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 44, Pennsylvania

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