Hi again! A new one for you :)

In this dream I'm with my boyfriend in our livingroom, at our new appartement. It's late at night and I want to go to bed. The problem is that my boyfriend doesn't want to come with me, he has planned to be up for a while, surfing the web. This is a huge problem for me, I don't trust him with the internet, because he has been doing things that I don't like in the past. Like chatting with other girls and looking at pictures etc. This is not really a problem anymore in real life, but I sometimes still get suspicios and afraid that he'll do it again.
In the dream he won't accept going to bed with me, I get angry because I know I can't sleep if he won't. So I say: Ok then, I'll have to lay down here on the couch then, even though I really need to go to bed to get some sleep. You are forcing me to stay up! My boyfreind gets even more angry at me, and he expresses that he can't take it anymore. I feel that it is really unfair, I say: But it is not MY fault that I just can't handle it! My bf rushes out of the livingroom throgh a door which has a glas window on it. I shout to him, desperatly: "Don't leave me!" I hear something crash and I hear him whisper: "We can handle this.." I run to the door, he comes back in, bending over and holding his right thumb. It has a deep cut on the joint of the finger, and it looks like it is about to fall off. My bf starts screaming with fear (very unlike him)and he runs to the toilet and locks himself in, still screaming. I understand that it is serious and I grab my callphone to call the emergency number. I can't remember the number at first and I search through a phonebook, but can't find it.I then search on the net on a third lap-top that is place dbetween my old lap top and my bf's pc. This new lap-top is mine too, but for making music. (I don't have a such in real life) I don't find the number, but then I suddenly remember it and dial. But when the call is answered it is just a recorded message saying something about a puppy beeing born at a place near my childhood home and asking me what I've been doing lately. I know that I've heard this message before.
I notice that my bf has stopped screaming and he comes back into the livingroom, totally calm. He comes over to me, showing me his thumb. I can see that it is the main arterie that has been cut over but it is no blood coming out. He says: "luckily our daughter slept through this drama" I reply "Yes, if not she would have been very scared" He stands in fromt of me and then we hug, holding eachother. He then says " we need to practice communication" (this is something I've been nagging about in real life) I reply: "Yes. I know I'm always the one talking too much, leaving no room for you to speak."

The dream, which was really intense is then ended by me waking up because my daughter is calling for me in the other room. This OFTEN happens when a dream has been very intense. She wakes me, it is like we're somehow connected and her mind wakes me up so I'm able to remeber the dream clearly and write it down before going to sleep again. I know this sounds a bit crazy, but it has happened so many times that I'm pretty sure there is a connection.. It used to happen before my daugher was born too, some sound waking me up after an intense dream. But since she was born, it is always her.. like a little dream helper :)

Hope you can help me bring some clarity to this one. I felt that your suggestions on the last dream gave me just the right clues to undrestand it's message.

Inanna

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 30 Norway

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Inanna,
A quick assessment this morning and I will take a better look at your dream later in the day. The social dragon {work} summons me to do battle. So many dragons to slay it seems.

It could be your BF represents that masculine aspect{s} that do not want to 'come along' with those wiser feminine qualities. It [masculine self} would rather dwell on other things, perhaps the past. This may be what you need to learn to control more than anything, letting past experiences 'disrupt' your present life. If left on its own it can 'surf' your entire psyche seeking vulnerabilities you possess, using them to re-instate past experiences that still hold you hostage. This causes anger, uncontrolled because there is a lack of control over past experiences being such a force in your life.

Along with this is the actual relationship with your BF. He could also be represented as himself, a true anger at him for his own attitudes. This would be magnified by your own masculine qualities that still control you. There is often a fear of partners leaving and a lose of support, no matter how destructive it may be in other aspects of the relationship. Within your inner masculine world, a loss of support of the anger you use as a release could also frighten you. Both qualities rely on fear as a way of 'keeping' them around {the thought of leaving your BF probably has come up but the loss of support, emotional and otherwise, is always a fear}. The control past experiences has had on you all thee years would be hard to let go of since it has been a part of who you are for so long. It has been important, although negatively, because it has been that outlet, an unconscious device that offers hope in reconciling the past but actually reinforces those past negative experiences.

To the discipline part. Those negative qualities that you have already recognized. Have you had much success in controlling their control? The anger which is caused partly from your negative past, have you tried taking control and not let it control you? Getting rid of the anger once its origins are recognized may now be a matter of discipline. Examine that aspect and see where you stand in that aspect of the healing process.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Hi again,
and thank you so much for your interpretation. It's right on the spot, I think.. I recognize this anger in myself, and the anger controlling me when I'm reminded of the past. And it has become something I'm almost addicted to, an outlet, as you describe it. I have not been able to see how I could ever gain control over these old feelings, but lately I've started to diciplne myself to take better care of my body, and I'm now going to the gym and working out four times a week. Through doing this and discovering that I really am capable of diciplining my self and pushing my limits, I've also started to believe taht the same can be done with my emotional body.. training! And after I read your interpretation, I've tried to have a sharp focus on NOT letting these old emotions take control of me, telling myself it could be done by using the same kind of dicipline that I use to keep myself going to the gym. And now I start to see results, and it is like: AHA! it really IS possible to get better at it, but it is just like with the physical body, I need training! This is a breakthrough for me, because I've never seen it like this before. I've been stuck thinking it might just be impossible for me to gain this control, because I didn't understand what tool to use. So thank you for the keyword "dicipline". I know you've mentioned it before, but now i've learnt how dicipline can work through my own experience with the physical training and I can clearly see the parallell. So my mantra is now: Dicipline and focus!

I'll post another dream soon, had one last night that I'm curious about!

:) Inanna

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 30 Norway

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Inanna,
Ah yes, the gym. It has been my life preserver for the past 30 years, the one thing that proved I am capable of learning to discipline my body and my mind. And you have discovered it also. Congratulations. You will discover, I believe, that going to the gym and improving the 'temple', there is a residual affect with the rest of your psyche. Not only will it teach you discipline but it is also an outlet for your anger. Not to mention the great benefits to your body. It is not about looks {although you will notice a difference there also}, its about good health, physical and mental, and learning discipline. They go hand in hand in achieving a truly balanced life.

Advice I give to my grandkids about standing out in a crowd. Be skinny. Most everyone else, unfortunately, is not.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes