Four dreams in the past two weeks, have two themes. I hope this is not too graphic…First I start out in a place that I am exploring and I start to float up a little, like I am coming off of the ground. I float up more and more. The only way I can figure to come back down again is to let myself fall and then I start to float up again, I can’t stay on the ground. Then, right before I hit the ground, I let myself float again and it becomes a game. So I keep doing this over and over and it’s for fun, I feel the sensation of how it feels to fall and how it feels to float. When I’m floating upwards in the dreams I feel this high sensation in my body, it feels really good, and when I’m falling I feel that funny, tingling, tummy feeling.
Then the dreams twitch to either a large room or a wooded area and one time there was one man but the others dreams there were many men there. We were all naked…Everything about their genitals was exaggerated and I was extremely aroused. I felt quite free to do whatever I wanted with these men and I suddenly felt like I was floating up again and we were all doing that floating a falling thing… Reading this makes it seem kind of obvious… it’s the sensations that I felt in my body that seemed so real, I can’t stop thinking about these dreams.

So maybe I don’t feel grounded, that’s true, I think the dreams may be about me acknowledging my lack of control, how I have sort of been surrendering to that, to ambiguity to my own sexuality and experiencing the newness of less inhibition.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 35

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Holly,
The first part of your post does not point to any one particular aspect but does seem to be focused on being 'grounded' yet a need to also 'let go'. The fun part seems to be an 'up and down' thing, perhaps the addressing of opposing aspects of being grounded yet a 'desire' or need to enjoying the 'floating', the acceptance of the fun part, letting go and just going with the flow.

The second part of the dream does seem to be addressing inhibitions. The floating, the 'fun thing', would seem to have to do with sex, and inhibitions. The exaggerated genitals would be the exaggerated focus on the 'fun thing'.

Perhaps the real focus of the dream is the opposing emotions of wanting to 'let go' and enjoy the lessened inhibitions as opposed to the general attitude you have possessed much of your life of being 'grounded' or not 'letting go'. If this is the case then 'letting go' would be the best route but one must remain careful and 'grounded' in choosing when and with whom to let go with. Are you currently in a committed relationship? Does it allow you to let go of your inhibitions? If not then the deep down desire may be to be with someone who will be compatible with the need to 'let go' of your inhibitions and fully enjoy that 'natural' primal aspect {sex}. You are at an age when you start to question things in your life {part of that mid-life thing that usually begins in the mid 30s} and sexuality is one of those things.

Men have less inhibitions about such things and why should not women do the same? Just be careful in choosing the right person to let go with.

Any volunteers?


Jerry

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I think a lot of what you said is right on. I think that women learn to be more inhibited about sex than men because of cultural reasons and have to unlearn that. I am in a relationship, 3 years, one where we are exploring and I feel I can be uninhibited more and more. In the beginning of relationships I’ve noticed that men (in my experience anyway) act shy, or hold back. Maybe they are trying to be gentlemanly or they’re anxious. But what that does is make me feel like I shouldn’t get too…kinky, so I hold back.

Anyway, I really love my partner and don’t want to ruin that but it’s like I want variety. I think that’s normal and the dream was indulging in that. It was also about me feeling lust toward men, rather than me just being the object of desire. It’s a different feeling, in my 20’s I was busy being the muse and now I am busy admiring and gazing at men. I’ve been weary of monogamous relationships and my ability to have a healthy one, so I’ve been working through that. The floating thing I think has to do with that as well as the fact that I am doing so many things in my life. Work, grad school and relationship.

I like what you said about the floating thing being letting go and grounding, that’s exactly what that is. The floating dreams started around the same time that I started to have more sex dreams, so I feel like it would be a good thing for me to integrate my grounded nature into my sexuality because there is a split there.

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Holly,
Oh how many times in my many adventures have I come across females who just were never able to let go and enjoy their sexuality. As you state a lot of it is cultural and imposed by a rigid masculine system. You are at an age where sexuality can be a consuming aspect of life and to deny that sexuality can be damaging. It is common I believe to find women who seek completeness of their sexual desires but are in a relationship that denies that. It is important that those desires be fulfilled, as it would be in any other desirable part of a relationship that one may possess, or else the life becomes a conflict of emotions that usually prevent a happy and harmonious life.

But I do caution anyone who has overtly strong sexual impulses. Although I can not judge others on monogamy I do believe from personal experience it is such relationships in the end that will provide the best life. It is so important to find the right person to spend your life with and yes sex is an important part of any good relationship. But if it takes several tries at exploring before you decide on a permanent relationship then so be it. Better to test several cars before buying just one. Of course moral judgements play a big role in such experiences but to enter into a lifetime commitment without knowing the full context of who the other person is, it would be much like buying the first car you see based on the color and not know anything about how it works internally. Men enter to various relationships as a routine. Why not women also? Not in a routine of one after the other like many men do but a more selective approach, knowing all you can before there is a venture into the bedroom.

Of course there is more to relationships than just sex, no matter how strong the impulses {I possessed a very powerful libido and learned how to use it}. If I could live my twenties and thirties over again {and of course could remove the underlying causes of some of my actions and experiences that came from childhood} I would have done it differently. I regret many of my actions simply because of the hurt I caused others. And the gratification of the sexual desires were fleeting, only temporary. If it had been with the one person I truly wished to be with that would be idea. But my looking for love {as a substitute} in all the wrong places did more harm for me and to others, it was not worth it in the end. If I could, as you are trying to do in your life, stayed with that one person who fit with my soul, my life at this moment in time would be much different relationship wise. But that is reflection and you can't change the past, you can only improve how you do things in the future.

A little personal info. I was married 3 times, had several other relationships, but have been single for the past 18 years. Of course I have spent those years exploring my inner self, which is common when you reach that mid-life plateau and begin to look back {when you are younger you tend to look forward}. And I do have a mistress, two of them in fact. My dream work and my web site Myths-Dreams-Symbols. Not to mention the nine cats and one female dog I am responsible for. I liv within the confines of a very stronfg feminien influnec no doubt.

As for a relationship, that is not at the top of my agenda. My sexual impulses are under control {not as strong but still there}. What was controlling is now understood. Looking for love in all the wrong places is now looking to help others solve their 'longing for love and acceptance' and what barriers prevent them from finding it. I get to do that here at the Forum, by helping others explore their dreams. By exploring the dream world you are exploring that inner self. By understanding what is 'within' one learns to see what is really on the outside. Usually the two do not conform and if by helping someone understand the reasons why, and dreams can do that, I feel I am doing a good deed, a spiritual thing, while all long feeding my creative self with proper nourishment that sustains the waking life as I grow older.

Holly, be yourself and do enjoy that sexual self. But if in any way possible it can be with one person, when you get to an older age many years from now your life will be fuller and much more balanced, not only sexually be in some many other ways. And believe me, that will be more important then. And when you look back you can say you have no regrets.

Jerry

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Jerry,
I meant to write and thank you for your response and for sharing your experiences. I’m still rather young, but feel like I’ve already lived a lifetime, like I am an old woman who is starting a new life. I ran away from home as a teenager and got married, had a child early, got divorced in my early twenties. I moved around, raised my child on my own, graduated from college, and still managed to have many adventures. I identified with the woman in the movie Chocolate (if you’ve seen that one), now my child is graduating high school and I am now settled into a rewarding career, going to graduate school, in a wonderfully rich and romantic relationship. My life is not in upheaval for once, I’m safe and secure…and it is totally terrifying…So I think that this has gotten translated sexually because it is a big part of my life. It’s as if I wanted to escape my fear of stability, I’m not sure how to live with it yet so I was maybe trying to escape physically, sexually. The desire is there and I am learning how to direct it in a generative and positive way. What a rich experience, dreams can be such a guiding force.
Thanks so much for your thoughts Jerry
AKA Holly

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Holly,
It is wonderful to hear that you have turned your life around. It seems we both have learned from our experiences and taken those negatives and made positives from them. We can not undo the past but we can insure we no longer repeat the mistakes. If that lesson is learned and utilized then the wisdom from those experiences is something to be shared. Too many people are unable to turn it around and live their lives in constant conflict. I can see you have taken the high road and if I am correct it was at least partially due to your own inner search, something I try to convey as being an important ingredient for finding balance and harmony in ones life. Good luck to you in the future and I hope you will share your experiences so others can learn how you defeated 'the dragon' and demons within.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60 Murfreesboro, Tn

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