I dreamed I was home alone in my apartment. The weather was behaving very strangely. While it was sunny and clear outside, there was a storm raging but instead of lightening bolts, flashes of fire would appear instead. It would flash very quickly, every five seconds and during each flash, there was a crack of thunder.

I wasn't afraid but I did think it strange especially being so close to my window. At one point they were so close, I was hit when trying to open and close the window, but I was not hurt and in fact did not feel it touching me.

Then I was in the house where I grew up. My little sister who I had just met (in reality while I have numerous half-siblings, I have never met them and consider myself an only child) came to me wanting to begin a relationship with me. She explained to me that she had just met our father and he wanted to get to know me as well. (I have not seen my father since I was 6) I did not believe her, but she kept insisting that he was wonderful and had changed throughout the years. When I met him finally, I was very apprehensive and did not want anything to do with him. He made no move to approach me or talk to me. He kept speaking with my younger sister and was very affectionate towards her. At one point he said he wanted to see my mother. I was adamant about this not happening. My mother showed up briefly and they spoke then she went away.

Because, in his eyes, I was treating him so horribly, he decides that he should kill me instead of waiting for me to warm up to him. Once I discovered this I shouted at him that I knew he hadn't changed and was still the same as he always was. I tried to tell my sister this but she refused to listen to me, still believing he was a good person. I ended up leaving but knew he was still following me so that he could finish the job.

While I was getting away from him, I kept trying to think about how many half-siblings I actually had in total and whether I should or would meet them one day. I recalled there were five born before me, three more born after me, and I was number six. The number of half-siblings I had and where I stood in position of birth continued to plague me until I woke up.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 33 Chicago

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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Sophia,
In the first dream the weather outside probably is describing your outer life in general whereas internally there is a 'storm raging'. The 'fire' would represent that rage, something that may have been bottled up and is now showing itself in 'flashes' accompanied by the anger and rage associated with the internal conflicts.

The second dream is addressing aspects of your 'rage' and anger, something that began in childhood. Although the 'siblings' likely are actual/literal aspects associated with that rage, they may also symbolize aspects of your own psyche. The symbolism would be of unresolved emotions issues having to do with actual siblings as well as unresolved emotions within yourself. But while you have no conscious desire to begin a relationship with your half-siblings', unconsciously you are needing to resolve those inner issues having to do with those emotions. If you look at your half sister as a part of yourself then you better understand this association, the dream's way of presenting inner emotions that are in conflict. This is 'half' of you, one half being you in the present time where life is normal if not sunny with the other 'half' being that inner child trying to understand as well as resolve emotional turmoil from early life {the age of 6 may hold specific experiences associated with these emotional issues}. The issue does seem to be associated with your father.

The first meeting and the appreciation is symbolic of the your conscious self finally beginning to come to terms with this inner rage and those past experiences that are at the center of the emotional conflicts. Your feelings in the present is not to have anything to do with him but your past as a child is still talking to you about the relationship with him {He kept speaking with my younger sister}. The affection 'toward her' may have been inappropriate affection, if not physical then mental. Wanting to see your mother is likely a metaphor of him wanting to see something within you that reflects your mother {actions toward her that he perhaps displayed toward you as a child}. You were being used as a surrogate for your mother in some form {again, actual experiences at teh age of six may be associated here}. Of course as a child your emotional self recognized you did not wish this. Your mother showing up may indicate her same reactions, although fleeting or briefly {his behavior toward your mother may have been inappropriate in many ways and she may have only partly resisted}.

The next paragraph is likely addressing internal emotions in conflict toward your father. Killing you is symbolic of changes within you. You are now 'warming up' to these past, and probably repressed, forgotten or ignored emotions {something that often comes about as you age and more specifically something that comes about in the mid-life years when you 'naturally' begin to reflect on your pastdreams are therapeutic in they try to help address internal, emotional conflicts, conflicts that often have unconscious influence if not control over your waking conscious life}.

You have been living your adult life trying to get away from these emotions and experiences. The half siblings again would represent 'halves' of yourself, parts of your internal self you wish to meet {so to begin the healing}. Inevitably you will have to come to terms with your past if you wish to continue to live that 'sunny' conscious life. The numbers may have significance, centered around the age of six {five years before} and perhaps continuing for three years {ages six to nine}. Were there any significant experiences you can remember from that period of time that fits with these ages?

The dream does seem to be addressing the relationship with your father, those most important formative years of childhood being the primary focus. You may have either repressed/forgotten/ignored these memories/experiences but they will plague you until you resolve them. Because they were from childhood the influences are likely indicators of personality and your psyche, influential if not controlling agents to your life and personality. Explore your childhood and you will probably begin to remember many experiences that have been blocked out. And as much as you do not want to deal with these issues, it is important that you do find ways to resolve them less they become even more controlling. The inner rage may begin to display itself in your normally outer tranquil life and the 'sunny' disposition you have in life at the age of 33. Left unattended, like any physical wounds, internal wounds will tend to get worse. The haling begins when you confront the internal issues and begin to resolve the underlying psychological reasons for them.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

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I actually had a non-existent relationship with my father. I only met him two or three times throughout my life. The last time being when I was six. After that I only heard about him whenever my mother saw him during random times of my life, once when I was either 8 or 10 and the last time when I was in my 20's.

I can see how the younger sister is a certain side of me. I was once that person, very hopeful and idealistic and I still am though I try to keep that part hidden. Could it be that the father figure in my dream actually be a side, the side of me that I do not recognize, that is trying to come through but I'm not allowing it, and the only way that it can come through is by force?

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 33 Chicago

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Sophia,
Your response does seem to fit with the interpretation. Although your father could represent an animus aspect I sense the primary focus in the dream of him in a context of the relationship or non relationship. In Jungian theory all dreams have at least two applications and the father symbol could be a secondary animus aspect. In that context it could represent a need to utilize masculine traits, a need for you to be more reliant on yourself, self authority. But it could also represent protection against the emotional conflicts involving your real father. Lesser applications are important but the primary focus is often the reason for the dream. There is language in the dream that could pose an animus association especially the next to last paragraph which begins with 'Because, in his eyes, I was treating him so horribly'. That could be addressing inner masculine traits, or lack of them. But again it could easily be addressing the actual relationship to your father. The context in which it is used within teh whole dream most often determines the primary use of the symbol, and the primary focus/message of the dream. And since your response fits with the interpretation, that in itself is at least a partial verification of the dream's intent.

I do believe the primary focus would be the relationship with your literal father since the dream is focused on that relationship. The ages which you confirmed in your response {numbers can be fascinating in their interpretation and application}. Usually the end of a dream is telling and the language in your dream, 'I recalled there were five born before me, three more born after me, and I was number six', may be telling something about not only the time frame you last saw your father as a child but also some other aspect to do with the relationship. What that could be is not clear but perhaps future dreams will be more revealing {since the dream was not clear t the end it could be the next dream will continue to address this aspect}.

If you can remember subsequent dreams posting one or more of those may help in understanding the ending of this dream.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Thank you for your assistance. If/when I have more, I will post them.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 33 Chicago

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

I do not know if this applies but the latest dream I had was the same surrounding theme. People were trying to kill me yet again.

The dream is once again in two parts.

The first part, I am in my apartment talking to a politician about the state of affairs of my home and how unhappy I am with things. He tries to convince me that things would get better and that I needed to participate more within the community. He suggests that I attend a meeting for all of the building tenants. I reluctantly agreed since I did not think it would do much good. After he leaves, I go to take out the garbage. I noticed I am in a large lounge area. The walls were yellow and the couches were red with white tables, regular long folding tables and coffee tables. After dumping the garbage down the chute I realized I had left my keys and thought I locked myself out of my apartment. I started to panic as I also realized I was half naked. I was wearing a shirt but no pants. I did not want anyone to see me so I tried to pull my shirt down as much as possible to cover myself before anyone could notice. They weren't paying attention. After I realized this, I tried to think about where I could have put my keys so I go back and see that they are on a table by the chute. Instead of there being one set of keys, there are two sets. I go back to my apartment and later go to the place where the meeting is being held.

I am back in my apartment and I am with my ex boyfriend who in the dream is my fiance. There is a knock at the door and I answer, a guy in a giant Kool-Aid costume comes barging in and tries to crush me to death. He chases me all around my apartment, at the same time I wonder why he's wearing that ridiculous costume. I also realize he cannot do more than get me chase me until he's able to pin me so I keep moving. At one point he trips and falls to the floor then disappears. After that more men are coming, sometimes in teams, sometimes as individuals, I cannot remember the total number, but there were a lot of them and they are all able to pick the lock on the door. Each time they unlock it, my fiance and I would press ourselves against the door and lock it again. He finally decides to go and get help and leaves me there by myself. I continue blocking the door with my body and locking the door each time it gets unlocked. I remember being extremely terrified. After this went on for a while the door refused to lock. It became very loose and was nearly off it's hinges. Half of it disappeared and I could see the assassin. I finally decide to ask him why so many are trying to kill me. He tells me that a hit has been placed on me by a man I used to date. I go and find him and he is extremely angry with me. In reality I have never seen him before but I speculate he's another ex of mine since they resembled each other slightly.

I ask him why he wants me dead. I cannot remember his response but he tells me either I leave for good or he will continue to send people after me until I am dead. My fiance then shows up with his entire family (in reality they and him were all military) to assist me. We get out of there but in the midst of fighting one of his relatives gets killed. I think about the situation and decide that it is probably best that I do leave. I tell this to my fiancee and he gets highly upset with me telling me to stay and fight. I try to reason with him, tell him that more people will end up hurt because of me and I do not want that. He gets so angry with me that he leaves me while I am left to wonder if I should stay and fight or if I should leave as I was told to do.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 33 Chicago

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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I just recalled another part to this dream but I cannot remember where it played in the sequence. I was sitting on the floor and I had two chess pieces, a pawn and a queen. I kept wondering where the king was and I set the queen down in front of me and dismissed the pawn from my mind. It wasn't a particular color, but a combination of perhaps white mottled with gray. After setting it down in front of me I decided to simply wait for the king to appear since I knew it was coming, in fact I could see it in my mind's eye.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 33 Chicago

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Sophia,
The state of affairs of your home is the inner state of affairs of your emotional self. The politics of your inner life. The community is your whole self as is the building attendants {all the aspects that make up your psyche}. This involves masculine aspect {the politician, with a masculine connotation}.

The conversation seems to be dealing with your whole self and the 'emotional garbage' you have accumulated in your life. But there is a reluctance or inability to face up to certain emotional issues, to expose {half naked} them so that your waking self has to deal with them. But this is probably a false 'argument', something you do need to give attention to {both symbolized by the 'no one was paying attention'}. The 'key' is to confront all the 'inner psychological garbage' in your life, as well as the 'outer' garbage in your life {two keys}. One is the dealing with waking conscious aspects of your life and the other would be the inner aspects that make up who you are and why you are that person, which most likely led to most of the outer garbage you have accumulated {job, relationships, etc.}.
This would get back to my first interpretation and my statement, "You have been living your adult life trying to get away from these emotions and experiences". What exactly those things are only you can discern.

In summary there does seem to be a lot of emotional garbage that you have not realized, confronted or perhaps have repressed for one reason or another. As long as these conflicts are not acknowledged they will remain an influence in your life and most likely become worse.

The Second Dream
I am going to cut to the chase here and present what I believe could be a problem in your life.

'After that more men are coming, sometimes in teams, sometimes as individuals, I cannot remember the total number, but there were a lot of them and they are all able to pick the lock on the door.

Is something you are 'locking out' in reference to relationship to men. It is a 'terrifying' thing for you. If not one particular man perhaps an impediment to relationship with men in general? What relationships earlier in life involving men could there be that would be the cause of this?
The first dream seems to be addressing a need to acknowledge this aspect of your life since it may have left you in a position that affects relationships with men. Was there a male who died early in life that could fit here? Something has left you 'emotionally dead' and the inability to fight it consciously is being played out unconsciously. This could have a negative impact on your waking life, not only in relationship with me, or types of men, but in your whole life as well.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 61 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes