I can't remember how the dream started but From where I remember, I was with a lady that I don't know, I did not see her face. We were in the bathroom of the house I grew up (in Ivory Coast-West Africa)to wash ourself. I told her I need to go get a sponge. But she handed me one. I didn't want to refuse, I starting washing my body with the foaming sponge (It had soap on it) Then a very bad smell like rotten oinions started to come out of the sponge. I keept washing myself and I had the foam from the soap all over my body and when I got to my feet, The smell was so strong I become nauseous. The lady near me said that she smells something bad and I told her that it was the sponge. I was so distracted by the smell and feeling so nauseous, I woke up. When I woke up I had no nausea at all.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 40 Jersey City, NJ

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Djadji,
My experience in working with dreams is when there is a dream statement such as, " We were in the bathroom of the house I grew up", the dream is addressing some emotional issues related to that period of time. Bathrooms are places you 'cleanse' yourself of emotional issues. The unknown woman is likely some unfamiliar or unconscious aspect about yourself. An inner aspect that wishes to help with the 'cleansing.

Simply put there are emotional issues from childhood that are unresolved and your inner unconscious self {unknown lady} is aware of them but your outer conscious self may not want to address them.

The bad smell is probably from childhood, unresolved emotional issues. The onions could symbolize the deep layers of the unconscious that you must peal away to get to what 'smells' so bad. In doing so the memories would make you 'nauseous'. The inner self knows of this emotional issue that cause the bad smell.

Because you woke up and did not feel nauseous may suggest it is something you have repressed because of its emotional trauma. With the reference to your childhood home I would loom to that period of time and determine what is there that would cause such a nauseous odor.

Another possibility is the dream is addressing a physical or 'body' issue which has been an emotional issue since childhood.

Jerry

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Hi Jerry,
(Sorry for my English. It’s not my first language. I hope you understand me)
Thank you so much for this interpretation. I know this sound strange but I can't remember anything in my childhood up to the age of 7. It's almost like this part of my memory has been erased. But I grew up in a very large family; Father had 3 wives and 21 children. Wives hated each other. My step brother and sisters didn’t like my mother and her kids because they thought our father loved us and favored us more.
Besides that I think I had a fairly normal childhood. But I was having an emotional issue when I had that dream.
My daughter has a friend that I consider to be a bad influence (to my daughter). They are both 14 years old. So I asked my daughter to stop hanging out with the girl. The girl made a big drama out of it crying, screaming … Then I felt very guilty about that because we are almost everything to that girl ever since she met my daughter. She(my daughter’s friend) has herself a lot of emotional issue. She were abandoned by her father, mother neglects her. No matter how late she stays outside her mom would never worry about whether or not she is fine. She doesn’t feed her, doesn’t care at all. So she spends all the time in my house, eat with us, follow us everywhere… She found a family. Despite that I told her to stop coming home, she would stay in the front of my apt. building, she call my daughter and tell her she misses her, … So I felt that overwhelming feeling of guilt (that gave me bad headaches) for giving up on this girl that needed so much help, I rejected her and made her feel like she is a bad person on top of what she was already going through. Her mother had her at 14, sees her and always tells her that she is the cause of all her problems, that she ruined her life…
I eventually let her come back. But, I don’t like this girl a lot because she has no manners, She was not trained at all since she is left to herself in the street. She always does things that upset me, and I am afraid that she had a bad influence on my daughter but at the same time I cannot let her go because I feel compelled to help her.
I was going through this emotional distracts (and I am still...) when I had this dream. I guess it trigger something in my childhood memory. ?!

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Djadji,
You did quite well with English not being your first language. To know more than one language is a positive in itself.

In response to your response {which I do apprecaite since it does clarify the possibilities from your dream}. Every dream is a learning process, for eberyone who reads it, including me.

"I know this sound strange but I can't remember anything in my childhood up to the age of 7. It's almost like this part of my memory has been erased." This could be a classic example of repression. Blocking out experiences so emotionally traumatic it is pushed back into the deep unconscious so you do not consciously have to deal with it. It could be important to seek out answers to those early years and see if there was such emotional experiences. If so you must confront them or they will remain a source of unconscious control in your life. You may have covered them up but they have the power to influence your life no matter your age.

As for the emotional issue when you had the dream. Yes, the dream could very well have been addressing that issue. But dreams will do both, address current emotional issues while at the same time try to get the dreamer to focus on the deeper issues from earlier experiences. There is a good chance the two have associations. The girl you wish your daughter not to hang out with could have similiar issues you experienced in early life. Abandonment issues being a good possibility {although you wmay not have been 'literally' abandoned you may have felt that way}. Her experiences could resemble your experiences. Thus the dream as it unfolded. Your last statement could confirm these possibilities;
"I was going through this emotional distracts (and I am still...) when I had this dream. I guess it trigger something in my childhood memor."

The bad smell could be both the current experiences involving this girl as well as similiar experiences you had as a child {you are this girl}. As for the first seven years of your life and not having memories. It could be you were late in forming memories {most children begin to store memories at 4 to 5 years of age}. But that does seem to be late for such activities. It could be those earliest years were when the experiences of being unwanted began and because the psyche at such an early age takes in these impressions {it was once thought that an infant had limited abilities to learn. Now we know those earliest years are when the psyche is most influenced} they were repressed. But not withstanding those possibilities teh experiences/influences can be still controlling, unconsciously. It would be important to seek out answers to such possibilities. Your dreams do not lie. Understanding what they are trying to communicate is the task at hand. Posting your dream to get a better understanding could be a start of that discovery.

Jerry

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Jerry,
Thank you so much for taking your time to help us in the path of self discovery and healing. I greatly appreciate it. (and thanks for encouraging me with my english)
These comments about my memory actually make a lot of sense to me. I wish I could remember anything from my early childhood. I just don’t know how to get there.
But for me being the girl, I cannot relate myself to this girl, because I never felt abandoned. My parents were always there. My father was wealthy, invested very early in real estate, and went to work only at the end of months, to collect the rent. I pretty much had everything I needed. My father was very loving and despite the fact that he has so many children, he kind of spoiled us. My mom however was harsh and beat me and her other kids sometime. (But what could be more normal for an African child? that is the only way they knew how to punish when you do something wrong)
(As I am writing this part, I feel very emotional and I kind of have flashes of memories of my mom being abusive.)
The feeling of being unwanted, I felt it only with my oldest step sisters (Who I mentioned earlier didn’t like my mother and her children. I was always driven away when I approached them where my other step sister my age was admitted. I could not understand that as a child. It was very frustrating and upsetting. But I still had my parents and specially my dad.
Again I am very grateful for your help.

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Djadji,
I believe this part of your response is what the dream is addressing:
"My mom however was harsh and beat me and her other kids sometime. (But what could be more normal for an African child? that is the only way they knew how to punish when you do something wrong).
(As I am writing this part, I feel very emotional and I kind of have flashes of memories of my mom being abusive)".

No matter the customs of your native culture, the emotional attachment to the mother is paramount in the early stages of child development. The emotional/physical abuse from your mother is something the psyche takes in, and holds onto. Studies have shown that a child, even an infant, understands the emotional dependence of the mother. If that dependence and acceptance is betrayed, as was with your mother relationship, it can leave scars for life. Not only scars but can unconsciously influence personality and actions in adulthood. These are 'unconscious' motivations and the experiences will continue to 'haunt' you until there is a resolution to the mental stresses. The best way to seek counseling. It could make a difference in your life in more ways than you could ever imagine. Resolving the emotional conflicts will help resolve the painful memories and in the process let you be the grow as a person, be that person you were meant to be.

Also consider talking with your step sisters and let them know that they do probably possess such emotional conflicts. Childhood is so important in a healthy and prosperous adulthood. Unconscious motivations are real and very often they are formed from childhood. They can be corrected but first there must be the realization they are there and then a desire to resolve the issues. If not they will continue to have some type of control over the conscious life.

Dreams are one way to reveal the unconscious conflicts. Once there is a discovery from the unconscious it is important to consciously listen to the dream and find resolution.
Good luck.

Jerry

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Jerry,
I am not sure how to find counseling in this kind of situation. Any suggestions?

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If cost is a factor I would contact the The New Jersey Department of Human Services-Division of Mental Health Services. Thy would be the best resource for needed services. If you have insurance you can 'Google' Mental Health Clinics and Practices in Jersey City, NJ. If possible, especially if you are experiencing serious bouts of depression, I would seek counseling from of these resources, whichever fits your needs. Life will different if you follow up on this and find remedies. Resolving these issues can bring about a better life. I wish only the best for you.

Jerry

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Hi jerry,
Thanks for this information but I don't think I need that much help. I do not feel depressed at all. In the contrary I am a happy person almost all the time. I felt anxieties sometime in the past under pressure but for the past 2 years, I don't reminder feeling any kind of anxiety or depression. (Except for after I gave birth to my 3rd baby who came so small. I felt that it was my fault cause I was drinking a lot of coffee during my pregnancy to stay awake I was scared that something might happened to her… baby blues)
I love my life! (Wonderful husband, amazing children, great job that I love, nice coworkers, healthy ... The only reason I would seek for help would be to try and find out what happened in my childhood up to 7 even 10.
Even though, I had a mother who was kind of abusing, I still feel like I had a happy childhood. My mother was always there for us, always stands for us and could show a lot of love which I think compensated the harsh part of her parenting. My dad was all love. I had everything I wanted. Just had to ask and if the answer is no, a little tear change it to yes.
As for my sisters, my mom use to say that we always choose (It is a choice) to forgive and if you don’t then don’t get forgiveness yourself. And if you choose to forgive and still feel that you haven’t actually forgiven, then ask god to deal with it for you and move on. Once you ask him to take care of it, you don’t have to worry about it anymore. You know it’s being taken care of.
This simple teaching from my childhood helps me a lot in my adulthood in not carrying bad feelings.
The girl whose presence was annoying me, has changed a lot. Ever since I let her come back home, She makes a lot of effort to behave herself and every time she does something wrong I talk to her and she doesn’t do it again. So we are now cool.
I feel great!
But again, thanks for your help!

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