Dead Sister Comes Back

There are so many levels to this one dream, again!

Yes, I am in a state of semi-denial, and that something that I know, the cold hard facts trying to poke up from just underneath the surface, are very hard to face. It’s in part related to my real-life sister who is younger than me. When the abuse happened, she was present, though only for a short time before and she doesn’t remember, as she was too small.

The “telling” sister is trying to tell me that her sister still comes to “play with the strange toys” ... so a part of me wants all this weird stuff to come out, right? The one “who died” is the playful one, the part of me who was creative, and who loved to do out-of-the-ordinary things, like climb trees and “become” them, as if I were in a trance. In this dream, there is a toy truck that is the container for all the other ‘weird’ toys.

When I was a child, I loved to get in the ditch with the boys and play with their little toy trucks, but I hid that from anyone, for fear of being accused of being a tomboy, or worse. This was my budding male side that was squelched at that time, maybe? But that’s only an incidental related thing. It’s there but I don’t feel that it’s all that important.

However, the ”the other you who is still 'telling' about the unconscious visits” is very important.

She is “telling” because her intent is to keep the memory of the “dead” little girl alive, this is important. This is directly connected to me trying to forget the abuse, or placing it on the back burner so I don’t have to think about it. And this other little girl whom I’ve dismissed when I neglect her or refuse to acknowledge that she is still important to me, in that sense I have ‘killed’ her. As I do when I refuse to honour her pain by not facing my abuser, right? She is “playing” – there is this other side to that little girl that I am ignoring.

She isn’t all tainted memories and repressed pain, she is also a little girl who loved to swing, run, watch birds, paint, talk to animals in the forest and just be full of wonder, of “play,” as little girls are.

SeedPod

The seed is, in effect, only potential life wrapped up in a tight, protective outer coating. And, when I do pick it up, look at it and wonder at its beauty and unusual size, it does puzzle me that there is only one wing... and furthermore, I actually put the seed in my pocket before returning to class. So, yes, this is something that I am, for the moment, refusing to share.

As for Gisele, this is so correct! I didn’t see this before at all. Wow!
“The other woman Gisele has made a big transformation, from childhood to the present. You identify with her because she has been able to transform a 'terrible thing' into something positive. School reunions, the past being reunited in the present.

Third Dream – true on all counts.

This scene is very graphic in my dreaming mind, as a new realisation is graphic and real. The bags all standing together, touching each other for support, like a row of soldiers ... reassuring me that I’ve done my job well, yet... there she stands, the “telling sister” again, (she is to my left, by the way) pointing out that these are, indeed, as you say, “bags of emotion...” like a body count after the war in a battlefield.

What has been the cost of keeping this secret? A very high one, if I understand my dreams right. I have been killing myself, bit by bit, body part by body part, and stuffing the pain so as not to feel.

It’s very hard to put the action behind the truth and say, ok, I’m going to do something about it. Very Hard.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60, Atlantic Canada

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