For the last week I have been dreaming of the places I am living or thinking of moving. In one, I am moving out ssom, but the spouse is decorating and remodeling. He has put star wars wall stickers up in my purple bedroom, right over the paint. He has taken out the middle part of the staircase. I'm thinking I can hop up and dwon from levels for a while,but it just isnt practical for the long term. Then someone wanted to level out the decorative berms in the lawn which I kind of liked. I started to yell at the spouse for redecorating "my room" even thought I also was knowing I planned to move out! we are divorcing.

The next night I dreamed I toured the neighbors house and liked the lay out much better then mine, and wanted to buy it. The whole neighborhood had painted their houses green and yellow. It was very cheerful. I was very pleased.

The next night I dreamed I was looking at an apartment. The property manager was someone I apparently knew from last year ( I don't recognize them and think they're a ditz)I like the apartment alot! when you first walked in, the small bathroom off the living room was a feature I recognized I liked from the house I toured in last nights dream. None of the doorways in this place had an actual door in them. I thought that was a detractor, but I imagined putting up decorative curtains or swaths of beads. My kid would like that. It could work. Also one of the bathrooms had a free standing tub with fancy decorative edging...all white that was crammed infront of the bathroom covering the entry to the shower area which was HUGE. The property manager said how sad it was there was no bathtub in this apartments, just showers. I pointed out the tub to her, but she just couldn't see it. Overall, the property was unappealing on the outside, but roomy and bright on the inside. It was situated in an urban area close to lots of shopping and social activities which excited me. Afterwards, I was talking to some family members and asking if my brother would consider moving in with me. He felt the rents was a little high for him. The whole apartment was on;y $1200 a month which I thought was cheap. I thought I'd go for it either way.

I know Im in a transition period with divorce looming, but what do all these potential homes mean? Am I supposed to build a new staircase with my spouse or just recognize a necessary connection is gone? I'm a bit confused.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 48 southern california

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? no

Ellen,
First off i believe the dreams are reflecting the confusion you are having about all that is going on in your life. Let's see what your dreams, which are how you really feel, says about it.

The first dream
What you are moving out of is the relationship but before then your spouse has or may have tried to 'redecorate' some aspect of the relationship. That could represent a 'redefining' of something related to the reasons for the breakup.

Purple is often symbolic of intuition and perhaps he has created a hostile environment related to something you suspect about him {possibly involving sex/bedroom}. Do you have suspicions about him, something perhaps you feel deep down believe or know to be true? There is no bridging what has happened although you have tried to mend the two opposing attitudes you have about this aspect. There may have been an attempt to 'paint over' the reasons you have for wanting to end the relationship? Consciously your mind may be thinking one thing but deep down there are opposing attitudes. Is he still trying to 'renew' the relationship even though the marriage is at an end? Or perhaps put the blame elsewhere instead of where it belongs?

The second dream
The neighbor's house may be what you see in moving out of the relationship. The neighbor is a part of you. There may be actual waking experiences to do with buying houses but the primary focus is likely your 'inner house' or emotional self. You would more comfortable in a 'new place' instead of where you are now.

The third dream
The apartment is one aspect of yourself {an apartment house would be your total self}. Usually an unidentified person in a dream is an aspect of yourself, you are the manager of your own 'property/house'. You like this aspect of yourself, being able to manage things. Look back a year ago and see where you might have been a bit scattered brained {ditz} in some area of your life.

There is less need to 'eliminate' emotional stuff {bathroom} in your life {living room} and that is very appealing. Because there are no doors there may be a need to place something between you and your emotional state of being as it is now {being less emotional}. Tubs and showers are 'cleansing' devices {in particular emotional cleansing} and the part about showers and tubs may be related to managing your emotions. The tub, which is smaller, vs the large shower may be about making small things into larger ones. This may involve the thinking process, confusion, where you may be feeling you are making too much of some aspect of the problems you need to resolve {cleansing yourself emotionally}. You are not totally 'emotionally' sure what you are doing is correct {a part of the confusion you feel}, and there will be a lot of emotions no matter what.

On the 'outside', your ego self, there are a lot of unappealing aspects but your inner self sees brighter possibilities.

Note: The inner self is always how you really feel, your true self. Dreams are about your true self, how you really feel

On the 'inside' here are a lot of positive possibilities going through your mind. The part about family members may involve actual experiences in that regard {dreams will mix the two}. But your brother, other than his true self, may be a masculine part of yourself. It could be the outer self, representing a more practical attitude {practical would be a masculine aspect, whereas the feminine would rely more on emotions}. It would be at a high cost {perhaps monetary but definitely emotional} to make a move of this scale. The $1200 may be reductive to the number 3 which would suggest not quite sure of which way to go, in practicality {in Jungian psyche the number 4 represents wholeness and three would less than whole}. But on the inside you like the idea no matter the emotional tool.

Again there is a lot of confusion being shown in the dream {reflecting your true self}. But it seems to be more about emotions than the actual reasons for ending the relationship. Being a mother would require a practical approach but your inner self feels your life will be much better in a 'new home' {emotional wise}. In the dream you feel being in that new place would be worth it all.

What are the primary reasons for the breakup? If there is no way to bridge the difference in the marriage {break in the middle of the staircase} then you little alternatives. In the dreams this 'new' house you are inspecting looks very appealing and looks to be the better place emotionally. Since you didn't feel the $1200 rent was expensive, that may suggest deep down you can 'afford' the changes. The houses in your dreams represent you and the staircases are bridging your emotional self so you can feel whole again. from the dreams I think the connections are gone in association with your husband. But knowing so little about you and the relationship {which could leave out much that other dreams would provide} I suggest you look deep inside and determine what your soul feels. Less thinking and more intuitive feelings. Take note of the 'true' self and what it wants/needs.

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Jerry

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