Zelkova,
First let me apologize for the spelling grammar in my analyzing your dream. need a new keyboard for my computer. can't capitalize some letters {i, e and u} so they appear in small caps in places where they should be in large caps.
On to your dreams.

Dream 1: history teacher not appearing in class
in your dream house is you and the one room is one important aspect of your emotional self related in some aspect to your grandmother. My sense here she, being your father's mother, represents probably two aspects related to him. One would be the Alzheimers condition which may point to your feelings your father has 'forgotten' about you {in the loving way you expect} since the divorce. The Alzheimers also could point to the 'deteriorating' condition, her disease {and relationship with her growing worse} and your deteriorating relationship with your father. The room has changed because both relationships have changed {her passing and the divorce}. The reference to the age 8 or 9 is a reflection of what should be expected {as an adult}, a proper relationship with your father. The classroom is learning experiences and the history lesson would refer to the relationship between grandmother and father, both forgetting and a deterioration of the relationships.

There also may be other lessons from those early years that are relevant. if you look back at that time period and compare it to your current life you may remember 'learning' experiences that are now relevant. it could related to expectations to proper maturing {from 8/9 to being in high school} and possibly something about the character of this teacher you 'intuitively' identified with. The front row position may suggest an importance of being a primary place you wish to be {or be in}. But there are other aspects to consider also about the teacher and your best friend's presence {5-6 other pupils}. Normally in dreams the inclusion of other people usually references qualities about that person {positive or negative} you identify with. in this instance her present day achievements {she is 28 in the dream, her/your real age} are what you identify with. This may point to your personal growth, not achieving as much as you should due to early life experiences {has there always been a problem in your parents marriage that may have filtered through to your deep psyche?}. This would the end of important personal growth history, you have already formed a psyche based on early life experiences {which has affected your personal growth} and thus the 'history teacher' is not coming anymore {dreams often reference personal growth issues from early life}. To achieve wholeness {the number 4 in Jungian psyche represent wholeness, a harmonious life}. You now have to rely on your self to broker the past negative experiences and navigate the relationships in the present day. An important part of you is now missing and that would be due to early life experiences and personal growth as well as the divorce of your parents and the relationship with your father. One thing that is missing that this may be alluding to is your grandmother's wisdom, something that points to your own maturity and wisdom as an adult. That has been stunted but you must move on and resolve the emotional issues if you are to find wholeness in your life. Your career pursuits may have more to do with early life training than you realize. expectations may be too high and may be a product of early life experiences {expecting too much only to see it 'deteriorate'. What this may be saying is you need to stay the course and not let things deteriorate career wise {and father relationship} due to unconscious stimulus planted early in your life. Deterioration seems to be the key word as it applies to the dream and your present day life. This would be the primary 'history lesson' from the dream.

A note on the numbers. if you put them all together you get 4-5-6-7-8. Numbers always have an importance in dreams and because they are universal {all languages use the same numbers} they have significance in their universal meaning {in the psyche}. n this instance the years from 4 to 8 may have been in the formation of your psyche, those early years always being most important for all of us.

Dream 2: two larger versions chasing smaller versions
The other character related to you is another part of 'you' . As a rule unknown people in dreams are references to other aspects about yourself. Your dream even states this fact, "these smaller versions could be me and my other 'selves'." There are two aspects of yourself you are internally/unconsciously/emotionally dealing with. The larger person would be the positive self, that person you wish to be {at this time in your life career wise}. We all are born with a pre-set instructions {Jung's archetypes whose intent is to make us whole. This is the larger positive self. The smaller selves {emotional aspects} are the negative forces that get in the way of wholeness. These are the smaller versions in your dream, those negative experiences/forces that keep you from being the whole person you wish/should be. Your higher self {larger version} has empathy for the smaller self, a natural recourse not only toward yourself but all things in nature {the lesser animals who are also born with a pre-set of instructions-we all are related}.

Now the dream seems to change course {another normal aspect of dreams-much like a drama which is what life is}. The smaller aspects/versions are recipients of the 'empathy' you feel toward yourself {literally}. The larger versions/aspects are now pointing to those forces that cause you to have to feel empathy toward yourself. You are being pursued by your ambiguous masculine qualities. Because they are ambiguous it would suggest they are not well known or developed. The masculine aspects would be needed strengths of character, something you need personality wise to 'advance' in life {career}. The dream states you share this 'sense', it is apart of you that is hidden and needs to be understood and developed {this the dream's function of helping you achieve wholeness}. What is on the inside is reflected on the outside {panic}. Your early life experiences have formed you as an adult and because of a weak masculine {which may indicate your father was not the good role model in your real life}. The chase is an inner chase of emotional conflict. On the outside, ego wise, you have to pretend to be possess something you do not, the chase is to develop a strong masculine self so you can succeed in life {again, at this time in your life think career}. This is contrary to your personality, having to chase larger aspects of success and pretending to possess a strong masculine identity {which in fact is weak}. The weakness is a lesser personality quality, something you need to develop.

Dream 3: dark children becoming babies
Your mother is very much who you are 'all around' and the dream points to close early life relationships {you are very close to your mother and may be a lot like her}. This is the big town, your overall personality. The old structure and abandoned building refers to your father as well as the deficient masculine aspects of your psyche {animus qualities}. This masculine aspect is an 'abandoned' part of your psyche although genetically it is sound and healthy {yet dark and dusty due to the fact your father was the model he should have been in early life}. sense this is a primary focus of the dream, this lack of strong developed masculine qualities. You have been close to your mother but not so close to your father {all your life}.

This dream seems to be focused on early life and past experiences. Not only in your development but also something more dark {"so I see these children standing there at some distance from each other and they are completely dark so I am afraid of looking at them"}. This could merely be a reference to the early life relationship with your father but could be something deeper. You are 'keeping your distance' from these 'children' {which could point to your childhood}. 'll address this later in my analysis.

The language of your mother hugging these babies may be pointing to the fulfillment of the archetypal mother {we all have two mothers and fathers-our actual mother, and the fulfillment of expectations of the archetypal mother that nature intends and which leads to wholeness}. The first expectation of a newborn baby is to be held to the mother's chest/breasts {for security and nourishment}. You are involved in this hugging because you did receive it as an infant. This is a strong aspect within you {passing by the dark children-the neglected aspects of your psyche}. This hugging/fulfillment of the archetypal mother makes you a healthy child {and reflects this in your adult life}. This strong aspect is something you have ignored, one on the level of your own neglected childhood in the father relationship and the other, to do with you as a mother. Mentally/unconsciously this strong motherly aspect speaks to you {from experience from your own mother who loves children}. You are seeking {unconsciously} to understand the lesser self {masculine deficiencies} as well as the outer requirements of being a mother. The influence of both mother and father are imprinted in your psyche. One has to do with the other and because there is a conflict within you of a stable masculine/feminine relationship, and an outer conflict of the divorce between your mother and father, it has become a conflict of how you live your life. You are seeking a career when as a child your world was geared toward a strong mother. This has become an unconscious conflict and sills over into your adult life. it may hindered an already weak masculine self in your pursuit of your career. The insecurities you feel with your job is related to your inner conflict. The questions i have that may provide answers are, does career mean more to you than having a family? There seems to be a conflict of being a mother that is related to the responsibilities of motherhood. Could that involve a mistrust of the masculine, not to do with just your own masculine qualities but also to do with your father?
if you could provide a follow up to my analysis, especially the questions have, we may be able to gain insights to these issues.

As for the deeper aspects of childhood i mentioned. Looking at the dream language after this was presented in the dream i don'y see a conclusive focus on experiences in early childhood that would have caused a deeper emotional conflict {emotional abuse by your father but nothing physical is indicated}. But you may want to look back and see if there is something deeper. Anytime see ages of early life there it is always a reference to early life experiences/influences. in your case i see distinct influences of both mother and father but nothing that points to actual experiences that would point to ant specific experience. i do suggest you look at your mother's personality and see what you have in common with her. That could provide clues to your own unconscious makeup which of course is reflected in your own personality.

A lot to digest. Take your time and give some deep thought to my analysis. Dreams are important to understanding who you are and why you are that person. We all have unconscious stimulus and motivating factors from early life that are not understood. Dreams attempt to clarify what those are. Knowing what are can and will help you resolve the conflicts and help lead you to wholeness and a happier life.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Hello there!
Thank you very much for having taken the time to analyze my dreams! It has helped me get a direction and the heavy feeling of insecurity is a lesser nuisance now, more of a practical nature than an existential one.
I’ve read the analysis a couple of times, thought it over and I’ll try to answer your questions:
“The questions I have that may provide answers are: does career mean more to you than having a family? There seems to be a conflict of being a mother that is related to the responsibilities of motherhood. Could that involve a mistrust of the masculine, not to do with just your own masculine qualities but also to do with your father?”
I incline to believe that family is more important to me than having a career and being faced with career choices is unpleasant since I wish I wouldn’t have to. At the same time I know I have great talent and potential that I cannot ignore under any circumstance or I’ll become the wreck my father is. I don’t have a mate/husband or children and I’m not interested in this aspect probably because the examples in my own family have disappointed me and led me to believe it is better to not worry about it unless the preoccupation comes from the man himself (which honestly I don’t see happening in the near future). In my opinion my father could have been much more. He has always hinted to it but was never able to ask for help or step out from under his mother’s dominant personality. He was a coward and as you said, not the role model I needed to develop certain sides of myself. Throughout my childhood his presence was felt more like an absence, like something we had to tolerate because “he is your father” as my mother said. To compensate for his lack of real “balls” my father has resorted to alcohol and verbal abuse towards his wife and now towards his children too (since my mother acting as a buffer has stepped out of reach). My mother has always added to his poor self-image by criticizing him in front of us (me and my brother) exposing us to their problems even though it would have been better to solve them or get a divorce earlier on, I think. My mother’s fault was being passive aggressive and tolerating a quietly harmful situation because, she says, it was her duty to provide a family for her children and society has forced her to bear her cross.
Job wise, finding myself in a situation in which I was being heavily exploited for my diligence and understanding, I felt the actual pressure from without and within to just quit. It had both a psychic and physical nature because I was feeling ill at work and I thought I had some sickness until I took holidays and felt very well. Overall people manifested mistrust for my decision since it’s hard to find a job nowadays, although some who also left the same job have encouraged and congratulated me for refusing the hard work although I had nothing else to rely on once I would be free, except for a rerouting which demands organization and planning, perseverance and sustained effort to do what I truly am good at.
Hope this wasn’t too long of a rant but it surely helps to clarify my station and sharing these thoughts as well as my dreams is definitely very important to me since the fatherly wisdom you mention hasn’t much come from my family but from books and friendly interaction

Thanks again, cheers!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 28/ Romania(Bucharest)

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} f

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? no

Zelkova,
I appreciate the response to my analysis. I clears up a couple of things I felt but was not sure of. In particular was how you felt about 'motherhood' vs career. And also the role of your father in your life. There were a lot of mixed signals that were thrown at you as a child and those experiences become unconscious stimuli for personality traits and actions as an adult. Sorting through all the early life experiences is important since it is those influences that shape who you are today.

From your response I gather the conflicts are two fold. One is the motherhood vs childhood decisions. Your mother instincts are strong {as they should be , not only naturally but from the influence of your mother}. But so are the early life experiences with your father. His being controlled by his mother was something you experienced even as a young child {a developing mind soaks in the environment around them and can be a strong influence in later life}. This alone present a conflict. A nurturing mother sending signals vs a father dominated by his mother, unable to step out on his own. Is this something you are now facing? A strong motherhood inclinations and desires vs having a career but with fears to step out on your own? His lack of fortitude probably cause a weak animus in your personality in many instances but not all. You possess a strong determination {a masculine aspect} despite your childhood/father influences. It is understandable since there were so many mixed signals from your childhood.

There also may be a mistrust of men, if not consciously then unconsciously because of your father relationship. That along with how your mother responded to your father's weak personality is another example of the mixed signals. These be unconscious motivators for personality traits as an adult. On one hand is the good mother/bad father and yet a signal from your mother that doesn't fit. Your strong motherhood inclinations are diluted by the mixed signals from your mother toward your father. This is the passive/aggressive attitude of your mother you mentioned in your response. That along with your father's escapism into alcohol and verbal abusive would naturally present a conflict about both fatherhood/men and the role if the wife {who has strong natural motherhood inclination}. Not having a good father to guide your path, along with a mother who is good at motherhood but not as a wife leaves you in a mixed position. If you look at your situation today you may see this {something you already have sensed}. It may have left you with a sense about men that is not positive which may have an influence in your attitude of not wanting a relationship. Your personality and position in life as an adult is a mixture of those early life experiences/influences and has left you in limbo.

What to do is not easily defined. The better you understand these unconscious motivations the better prepared you will be to confront them and find a resolution. My remedy {from my own mixed up life from childhood} has been Jung's Individuation Process, self therapy. Not everyone is capable of this personal journey but I sense you have the capabilities to understand the difficult course. What finally determines success is the discipline in navigating the many layers of the psyche to reach the depths where truth lies. Beyond that my suggestion is to 'rerouting, organization and planning, perseverance and sustained effort to do what I truly am good at'.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes