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Re: three weird dreams

Hello there!
Thank you very much for having taken the time to analyze my dreams! It has helped me get a direction and the heavy feeling of insecurity is a lesser nuisance now, more of a practical nature than an existential one.
I’ve read the analysis a couple of times, thought it over and I’ll try to answer your questions:
“The questions I have that may provide answers are: does career mean more to you than having a family? There seems to be a conflict of being a mother that is related to the responsibilities of motherhood. Could that involve a mistrust of the masculine, not to do with just your own masculine qualities but also to do with your father?”
I incline to believe that family is more important to me than having a career and being faced with career choices is unpleasant since I wish I wouldn’t have to. At the same time I know I have great talent and potential that I cannot ignore under any circumstance or I’ll become the wreck my father is. I don’t have a mate/husband or children and I’m not interested in this aspect probably because the examples in my own family have disappointed me and led me to believe it is better to not worry about it unless the preoccupation comes from the man himself (which honestly I don’t see happening in the near future). In my opinion my father could have been much more. He has always hinted to it but was never able to ask for help or step out from under his mother’s dominant personality. He was a coward and as you said, not the role model I needed to develop certain sides of myself. Throughout my childhood his presence was felt more like an absence, like something we had to tolerate because “he is your father” as my mother said. To compensate for his lack of real “balls” my father has resorted to alcohol and verbal abuse towards his wife and now towards his children too (since my mother acting as a buffer has stepped out of reach). My mother has always added to his poor self-image by criticizing him in front of us (me and my brother) exposing us to their problems even though it would have been better to solve them or get a divorce earlier on, I think. My mother’s fault was being passive aggressive and tolerating a quietly harmful situation because, she says, it was her duty to provide a family for her children and society has forced her to bear her cross.
Job wise, finding myself in a situation in which I was being heavily exploited for my diligence and understanding, I felt the actual pressure from without and within to just quit. It had both a psychic and physical nature because I was feeling ill at work and I thought I had some sickness until I took holidays and felt very well. Overall people manifested mistrust for my decision since it’s hard to find a job nowadays, although some who also left the same job have encouraged and congratulated me for refusing the hard work although I had nothing else to rely on once I would be free, except for a rerouting which demands organization and planning, perseverance and sustained effort to do what I truly am good at.
Hope this wasn’t too long of a rant but it surely helps to clarify my station and sharing these thoughts as well as my dreams is definitely very important to me since the fatherly wisdom you mention hasn’t much come from my family but from books and friendly interaction

Thanks again, cheers!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 28/ Romania(Bucharest)

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} f

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? no

Re: three weird dreams

Zelkova,
I appreciate the response to my analysis. I clears up a couple of things I felt but was not sure of. In particular was how you felt about 'motherhood' vs career. And also the role of your father in your life. There were a lot of mixed signals that were thrown at you as a child and those experiences become unconscious stimuli for personality traits and actions as an adult. Sorting through all the early life experiences is important since it is those influences that shape who you are today.

From your response I gather the conflicts are two fold. One is the motherhood vs childhood decisions. Your mother instincts are strong {as they should be , not only naturally but from the influence of your mother}. But so are the early life experiences with your father. His being controlled by his mother was something you experienced even as a young child {a developing mind soaks in the environment around them and can be a strong influence in later life}. This alone present a conflict. A nurturing mother sending signals vs a father dominated by his mother, unable to step out on his own. Is this something you are now facing? A strong motherhood inclinations and desires vs having a career but with fears to step out on your own? His lack of fortitude probably cause a weak animus in your personality in many instances but not all. You possess a strong determination {a masculine aspect} despite your childhood/father influences. It is understandable since there were so many mixed signals from your childhood.

There also may be a mistrust of men, if not consciously then unconsciously because of your father relationship. That along with how your mother responded to your father's weak personality is another example of the mixed signals. These be unconscious motivators for personality traits as an adult. On one hand is the good mother/bad father and yet a signal from your mother that doesn't fit. Your strong motherhood inclinations are diluted by the mixed signals from your mother toward your father. This is the passive/aggressive attitude of your mother you mentioned in your response. That along with your father's escapism into alcohol and verbal abusive would naturally present a conflict about both fatherhood/men and the role if the wife {who has strong natural motherhood inclination}. Not having a good father to guide your path, along with a mother who is good at motherhood but not as a wife leaves you in a mixed position. If you look at your situation today you may see this {something you already have sensed}. It may have left you with a sense about men that is not positive which may have an influence in your attitude of not wanting a relationship. Your personality and position in life as an adult is a mixture of those early life experiences/influences and has left you in limbo.

What to do is not easily defined. The better you understand these unconscious motivations the better prepared you will be to confront them and find a resolution. My remedy {from my own mixed up life from childhood} has been Jung's Individuation Process, self therapy. Not everyone is capable of this personal journey but I sense you have the capabilities to understand the difficult course. What finally determines success is the discipline in navigating the many layers of the psyche to reach the depths where truth lies. Beyond that my suggestion is to 'rerouting, organization and planning, perseverance and sustained effort to do what I truly am good at'.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes


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