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Re: Jerry new dream!!

Sounds great ty jerry!!

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Re: Jerry new dream!!

Rebecca,
The conclusions you draw about your mother and a father sound very plausible. The first dream you posted ended with, "I then asked her if she could be my mother?" That was addressing the 'beautiful woman' which I see as your true self. Before that you were standing at a counter, a separation of not only your ego self from your true self but also possibly a separation between you and your mother who left you when you were so very young. You did not abandon your children, you stayed and are a mother to them {even with any shortcomings you may perceive about being a mother. Your experience with your mother mirrors my own experience of my father abandoning my mother, myself and three sisters at a very young age. I have always felt that although I could have been a better father I never let my son {only child} down and was there when he needed me {he is now a successful business owner}.

As for the husband references in this first dream, your perfect father image and what you expect from yourself as a mother may be what needs to be 'stripped naked'. Not to cast a negative light on your actual father but to further examine the pressures you place on yourself as the masculine power that controls your psyche. You may expect too much of yourself, having to be too strong, dependable {masculine qualities}. Perhaps you have fallen in love with this expected perfect 'inner male' which has caused too great expectations of yourself. The band is missing a piece. This could be the missing {unknown} aspects of the masculine self that needs to be understood. Only by understanding the unconscious forces that have control over the conscious life can you find completeness/wholeness.
This is what dreams attempt to do. Reconcile those parts that out of balance so there can be wholeness, completeness.

Enters the other woman. This absolutely beautiful woman is you, and perhaps an idea mother you never had. What you have inherited from early life experiences/influences is a need to be mother/father to yourself, strong masculine qualities to compensate the lost mother and perceived perfect father {the year 1950s-where would that fit?}. You have taken on the perceived masculine father within your psyche for psychological purposes of comfort and security. This has created an imbalance and your dreams are trying to help reconcile that as well as push you toward finding your true self for the future {which is based in creative/spiritual realms of the psyche}. No one can be their true self until they have reconciled their past. As you grow older this becomes most important. At midlife the question of 'meaning' begins to take hold and finding the true self {that thing in life you love doing most} becomes paramount.
Creativity and the spiritual self {not religious but instead living in accord with nature and its laws of cause and effect-Karma} are the true meaning in life.

The masculine aspects that are in question could very well have something to do with the scenario I laid out above {or some reasonable comparison}. There could be aspects involving your step mother also but the crux of the dream seems to be pointing to the lost nurturing from your natural mother and the strong influence of your father. Together they could have created an attitude of over compensation of the masculine, or too strong of an expectation of the masculine {the perfect father} within you to compensate for the lack of nurturing from your mother. Although you were very young when your mother abandoned you the archetypal energies alone could create an imbalance {the expectations of a nurturing mother you were born with}.

Take what I have given and see how that fits. By examining the possibilities and seeing how they fit is one way to sort through what is applicable and what is not. Not knowing all about you limits my abilities by by self examination you may be able to put the pieces together and find that 'one missing piece'.

Jerry

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Re: Jerry new dream!!

Hello Jerry!! Its so great to be home and be able to discuss all of this with you again!! I do hope your week was pleasant!

I am sorry to tell you that I was not able to remember one single dream while I was away. But I am very excited to examine my last dream with you.

You may expect too much of yourself, having to be too strong, dependable {masculine qualities}. I wanted to start with this quote because is seems you have said something that resonates with me. Yes I agree. My early adult life I made some less than wonderful choices causing me to be the outcast in my family. I was the very typical black sheep. I was the brute of the jokes the drama and the sarcasm. Needless to say it wasnt pretty. I am stopping here to tell you for some odd reason I think I dreamed this. I dont know when but just typing this reminds me of a dream I had all i can remember is that I was sitting at my computer typing and telling someone that I finally found the answers. Lol maybe thats my sub. telling me that I am on the right track. Anyway I was then forced to mother/father myself. I had to work harder to achieve my family's respect. I had to be...perfect. The truth is Jerry, that I have this intense fear of failure, of being judged, of not being perfect. But above all I fear the loosing of the respect and love of my family. As much as I agree with everything you said I still have no idea as to what missing aspect of my masculine side could be. I have faith though, that I will find the answer.

In my life there has been more than enough times where I have had to be "strong". Forced to put my feelings or pain on the back burner. In every turn having to fight. the details of those stories I will save for later.

The 1950's. Now there was something that stood out for me. It is the decade that I associate most with the "perfect" marriage, family,wife,....woman. I think that speaks for itself.

I think now would be a wonderful time to explain my take on religion. It is all lies. And it is all truth. in other words all religion is based on the same teachings however people have been led to believe that what has been wrote is literal. that is what makes religion a lie. However if you were to broaden your view point it would become clear that the words written in say the bible, are a collection of metaphors and possibly dreams that speak about the inner world inside of you. this is only my view point. I believe God is very real just not the personified version of "him". As always it is a joy to speak with you. If you would like I would love to exchange emails so that i can speak to you further about my personal life. Even though I love to be open and honest I do feel there are certain things best left said behind closed doors ty :)

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Re: Jerry new dream!!

Rebecca,
I'll provide a response in the morning {Sunday}. Have a long day ahead of me serving the dragon {social responsibilities}.

Jerry

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Re: Jerry new dream!!

Rebecca,
We may be looking at the masculine aspect from the wrong end. With what you have stated in this post it does seem your life has been influenced if not controlled by a very strong need to use masculine aspects as a defense mechanism. Being ridiculed and castigated could cause you be in a defensive mold {such molds are a product of early life experiences/influence} forcing the animus to seek alternatives to what is a less than desirable life. This puts your whole psyche out of whack and when there is a lack of balance between the opposites then the usual thing for the ego to do is to over compensate. You can not be whole, or your true self, until those parts that are out of synch are brought into balance. This is the fundamental hypothesis of Jungian psyche, bringing balance to all aspects of ones life. The difficulty is we go through life unconsciously driven by unseen forces that are brought about because of early life environment or traumatic experiences during life. Our dreams showcase these issues every night while we sleep.

Your statement, "In my life there has been more than enough times where I have had to be "strong". Forced to put my feelings or pain on the back burner. In every turn having to fight", pretty much states the case. Your feminine psyche doesn't have the capacity to express itself because you have had to live from a too strong animus. When look at your early life experiences we can see why this is so. Combating those influences first by identifying and understanding them is a step in resolving the issues. Making appropriate changes that brings your psyche into balance is the next step. But that can be one giant step to take merely because the ego often refuses to go along with the plan. What has been embedded in the psyche since early childhood is difficult to dispose. From experience I know it really is a life long endeavor. But if there is awareness, discipline and knowledge of within oneself it can be controlled. The ego must submit to the true self, a task that is more easily said than done.

In Christian 'mythology' the death and resurrection of Jesus on the cross is what must have to the individual. A death to the ego-centric self {controlled by unconscious forces} and a resurrection to the metaphysical Self. By metaphysical I mean those aspects of the psyche that are beyond the norm of the ego and reside within the deeper spaces of the unconscious. These are the unseen forces that cause you to have to live from a too strong masculine identity.

About religion. All religions are 'myths', exaggerated truths. We live life thinking the mind is in control and because we are weak religion is used to control the thinking. But this only adds to the drama that already exists in each personal life {for the reasons I have provided}. Religion is for the weak, spirituality is for those who are seeking to grow. True spirituality comes from our own nature and the word nature is the key. Within the physical world there ia a metaphysical presence.
Note: The metaphysical aspect is a spiritual/creative mechanism that is essential in finding a path of enlightenment in life. The laws of karma, natural laws of cause and effect {you cause most that happens in life- good and bad}, along with identifying and utilizing the creative aspects {that thing you love doing most in life}, are how you fill the void that is left for the ego to fill once you discover the underlying problems {too strong masculine self}.

I appreciate you mentioning the '1950s' and the associations you have to that 'image' in your dream. Dreams use every tidbit of conscious identity as images and patterns of behavior {those things that influence how we think, feel and act}. My experience in working with dreams is 'every image has ameaning'. Numbers are often important images and although sometimes difficult to translate. Sometimes you can use the number as is, 1950, other times adding the numbers together brings about an association. Often it is both {from 1950 I get 9 and 6, nine being the wholeness of the total self and 6 being the ego body that must be controlled by the number 9}. Nine is the number of the universe and in Greek mythology is represented by the feminine. In my thinking the feminine aspect is stronger than the masculine and not vice versa as we use in it in today's cultures. This is partly due to our religions, most all patriarchal.

Take this new approach to the masculine and see how it fits. Don't be surprised to have a dream that helps clarify this aspect if it indeed fits. The psyche has a way of confirming truths. This is because the unconscious dream is all about truth.
Look forward to your response.

Jerry


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Re: Jerry new dream!!

As always jerry you never cease to amaze me! Thank you for your response. I was sitting on my porch yesterday morning letting my mind wander. And as I was sitting there a picture of my aunt came to mind. In my mind I examined the picture at first without judgement. I started to think about how truly beautiful she is. (funny with my dreams lately and everything else it seems that the word beautiful is ever present) You see my aunt is a clear reflection of myself. I know this because I notice how much she mirrors my personality and my emotions. My mind then started to notice a distinction between her physical beauty and her inner beauty. My mind then went to my uncle. I replayed memories of her constantly seeking her husbands approval, and without fail he would always give his opinion. Mind you this was always about her appearance. Given his opinion she would then change her appearance to meet his standards. These memories then brought my mind back to the dream. Could the rape of my male aspect symbolize my egos representation of what a female embodies. Meaning could I be raping my masculine side trying to fill it with the preconceived idea of what a woman should look like act like ect. And in doing so am I not repressing the feminine aspects as well? I believe this to be a possible.

So if then this is a case of mistaken identity where my ego is projecting its idea of what male/female should look like then could that also represent the counter between myself and my female aspect. And come to think of it there was a door between me and my male aspect. Maybe it represent all of the preconceived ideas i have. I have also been pondering over the beautiful woman in my dream. you stated before that it was possible I could be seeing my true self but it has come to my mind that the woman may only represent one aspect of myself and not the whole. You see if male represents half and female represents the other half then when combined to make a whole they can be neither male or female but both. I expect to meet my true self one day and when I do i will neither be able to relate to male/female but both simultaneously.

So by remembering my dream I am brought back to part where I asked why why do you love him and then she answered comfort and security. What is it about my male aspect that brings me comfort and security? I feel like these are qualities about my male aspect that should be kept. I look forward to hearing from you I have and older dream from about a year and half ago Id like to go over with you. If youd like you can reach me on my facebook too. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1655186179 thanks again!

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Re: Jerry new dream!!

Rebecca,
Your thoughts on the feminine seeking masculine approval {raping your masculine} is entirely plausible. The 'rape' is symbolic of some aspect of yourself. Understanding what it represent can be difficult to interpret but with through examination it will fit somewhere. If i remember correctly the rape wasn't the dream dwelled on and that could be because it was a passing reference and not something so obvious and forthcoming.

As for the 'why do you love him' question. For your aunt it would be a literal question {if you look at her early life experience/influences you will likely discover why she did-unconscious motivations}. That would have to fit within your psyche, symbolic of why you have this love for this masculine quality. The dream uses your aunt as a metaphorical reference to some aspect of your psyche. The question ti be answered would be 'why do you love' this part of yourself.

One point that may need clarity. We all have masculine/feminine qualities but they are not limited to just one of each. You may have one particular strong masculine aspect and yet have other weak aspects of the animus. This is true especially with dreams since they are attempting to communicate a point of emotional conflict. If the masculine aspect is in conflict then that is what needs attention. It must fit with your waking life. Establishing what that is will lead to a better understanding why it is a conflict. A primary purpose of dreams is to resolve emotional conflicts {nature's device}.

I visited your facebook page. We have a lot in common. Cynthia Nixon link and I too have many fur babies {I am cat person as well as a dog friend}. I see you have your own business. That itself makes a statement about a 'strong' masculine. Is that your daughter? Simply beautiful. Takes after her mom.

Jerry pray]

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Re: Jerry new dream!!

thanks jerry! Yes my fur babies are my comfort. I love them just as much as my real babies!! And ty for the comment on my daughters. they deff are my world and keep me on my toes. As far as my business. Its just a small one but I do love being able to work for myself.

I havent been able to recall my dreams as well and I am not going to lie its very uneasy. Its making me feel like I can not work through my problems. Any suggestions on how I might better recall my dreams? I feel like I am being ripped from them when I wake up and cant seem to hold on to them.

Hope to hear from ya soon! ty!

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Re: Jerry new dream!!

Rebecca,
Perhaps the most important thing about remembering a dream is when you awake lay still in your bed and immediately think about the dream. Go over it and reconstruct the dream. And then write it down or record it. Once you move or begin to think of other things you lose the dream {at least with most dreams}. It will take time to train yourself but not doing anything but trying to remember the dream as soon as you wake up is most important. After you have recorded the dream give some thought to it and then write down anything you think relevant to your waking life. At your age dreams will still have a lot of relevance to recent emotional events {a bad day at work, stressful events, etc} and those experiences will be likely be a focus of the dream. Sometimes you can see what the dream might be about by reflecting on previous days events. But even with that I suggest you post the dream so I can inspect it {provide your thoughts about the dream}. All dreams, all dream images have more than one application. They will not only focus on recent emotional experiences but will also reveal deeper aspects about the dreamer. The building blocks of personality, why we are who we are and the motivations for what we do are constant focus of dreams. Interpreting these aspects usually require someone with experience in dream analysis. And these aspects of the dream are usually most important because they can reveal unconscious motivating factors. Whereas it is difficult to interpret recent experiences from a dream, the deeper issues are what usually come through with a person experienced in dream analysis. The first requires more info {about recent experiences} while the latter points to recognizable, concrete patterns of behavior.

Jerry

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Re: Jerry new dream!!

Good morning Jerry!! I do hope your intuitive mind is working well today!! Anyway I am sure you are probably more then ready to move on from this one dream lol but I think I have finally had a break through and am now sure I know what masculine aspect was missing. I will tell you this has been one heck of a journey trying to figure out what is that my dreams are telling me!! So as you now know I do own my own business. Let me give you some background. I have 3 children 2 girls, 5 years and 11 years old, and a very special little boy who is 6. My son, nolan, is handicap. I am driven by my children. That being said I started out as a hairstylist and about 4 years ago i opened up my first salon. It was successful and i loved it, however I worried constantly about my children especially Nolan. You see he stays at home with a nurse while my husband and I are working, but we had a lot of problems with the nurses not doing their jobs. Needless to say I made a change in the direction I was going. about 2 years ago my husband and i built onto our house so that I could work from home yet still be able to monitor our sons care. During the first 6 months that followed it became very difficult for me to be the business owner and the mother at the same time. ( I had my youngest at home too while my oldest was in school.) I was apologizing constantly for the chaos in my home to my clients and had started to get very anxious to the point where I no longer wanted to take clients. there was no division between my professional life and my family. i know you will understand what I say when i could no longer tell the difference between the two masks I wore. you see it was very easy for me to be able to pretend that i was "perfect" (we have already touched on that so I think you will be able to understand my mind frame) I could be what it was that my clients were looking for. When i moved to my house i could no longer pretend to be perfect. It was like i was stripped naked not being able to hide. Its sad but true. Anyway with in all that anxiety I found an outlet. I started making cakes. Big jump I know lol. But I found it relaxing and that I was able to give happiness to someone without changing who i was. (I would later learn that I had already changed myself) I could express myself and let it shine in the art of a cake. (everyone has a canvas mine is cake :)) I soon began to realize what my true calling was and a dead dream came back to life. it had always been my dream to have my own bakery. As I settled into a groove and began to watch my cake business grow I began to realize something wasn't quite right. At first i thought it was my fear and lack of confidence that was keeping me back, and as that may well have been part of it I do not believe that was all of it. It is here where i believe my dreams have finally broken through. That professional mask I think is what the male in my dream represents, the female being my creative side. I have more than embraced my creative side yet I have left my professional side locked behind closed doors. Here is where my dreams are calling for change. I believe I need to take that old professional side ( My goal oriented very left side part) and my new creative side (my female side) and merge those into something new! So I have come up with a solution for me to grow my professional and creative side together and still be able to monitor my son. I believe this is exactly what needs to happen and hopefully as the outer grows with something new so will the inner too!


Onward to something new lol.

So I did remember a tiny piece of my dream last night.

There was a bunch of ants on my counter and I was trying to get rid of them. the next thing i remember is that the ants were not so bad and then they changed into something. but thats all I can remember.

Hope to hear from ya soon!! I am going to go enjoy the storm and bake some cakes :) Oh and maybe sneak in some Josh Campbell. Im on episode 3. Thank you for finding something that speaks in my language!

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Re: Jerry new dream!!

Rebecca,
I'll provide an response and analysis of your last post in the morning.

Jerry

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Re: Jerry new dream!!

Rebecca,
Thanks for sharing your story. It does make 'perfect' sense. Balancing the masculine {social/family obligations} with the feminine is very much like walking a tightrope over the Grand Canyon. You know to have the skills but the fear of falling is always a constant. At least until you get to that place where the social dragon has little to say how you live life and you are able to put all your efforts into the creative self. That usually happens when the kids are grown and social responsibilities are not the major demand on life. Few people ever realize that place but when you discover the creative self and work toward thos ends life always is better. As Joe Campbell states, "following your bliss and you put yourself on a plane of higher consciousness". Balancing the two opposing forces in life {creativity and social obligations} is not easy, especially in this time we live. But when we have nothing more to look toward than social interactions we soon discover there is little meaning in life to sustain us. That is where the creative self plays its greatest role. I commend you for working toward those ends. Balancing responsibilities with an objective mind while at the same time fulfilling what I believe is the request of the soul.

On the subject of Joseph Campbell. Yes, do continue to follow his directions. He articulates Jungian psyche in a way no other could. His story telling reveals how myth and psyche {psychology} fit together. As stated, the dream is a personal myth, a myth is the universal dream. One does not exist without the other. By understanding the metaphorical references in mythology we can see how they fit with the same symbols in dreams {the archetypes}. There are not many people who even concern themselves with these associations. But when one does life opens up and enlightenment prevails. You place yourself on a higher level of consciousness because you have dared to travel inward to the unconscious world of truths. Not only personal truths but also universal truths. Talk about discovering meaning in life. This is the ultimate journey life. The only thing that trumps it is death {my philosophy that life is merely another experience for the soul in its journey through the cosmos}.

I take it from your comments you are viewing Campbell's The Power of Myth videos. Six hours of pure enlightenment. At least for those of us who are capable of comprehending their message. Not everyone does.

Jerry

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Re: Jerry new dream!!

As always jerry you hear me:) It is heartbreaking sometimes that people can no longer see what to me is so apparent. There is not a time when I can listen to modern music or watch a movie and not see the metaphors and the crying out for help and change. It is my belief that we are all feeling this intense pull towards something. And even though there are those out there who pretend to not feel. its still happening. The fact is it doesnt matter if im wrong or your wrong the point is that we try and that we continue to grow. For me? The pull is too strong to ever let go. I need to grow, to expand, to understand. :)

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