Zelkova,
I'll analyze the two dreams separately since both are long and involved.

The first dream seems to be pointing to a desire or need to reach higher levels in your life. Here is what I get from the images.
-A need for power/ability to impress as a defensive mechanism but has limits.
power to electrify
-Ability to achieve these powers when used constructively {you possess a good personality and need to build on that}
-A need to neutralize negative aspects.
-Something within you is holding you back {look to early life experiences/influences}.
-A need to elevate yourself {elevator}
-Shopping for self worth, reaching a higher level {jewelry shop}
-Constricted by inner aspects {again, traits from earlier life manifested in adult life}
-Limitations from emotions of feeling useless
-Being 'bigger' than you are {Mercury resembling Jupiter}
-Possessing unconscious knowledge that allows you excel when it is realized/acknowledge
-A need to descend to the depths to understand the dark forces that control your emotions {important aspects of who you are}
-Illuminating the unconscious aspects into conscious understanding so it can be recognized/acknowledged {hologram}
-Aspects about yourself you do not like due to the emotional energies they possess
-Ignoring these aspects when they should be acknowledged
-Entering a new 'inner dimension' so to leave the old self behind
-The alarm is more than the machine that awakens you. It is an alar within you trying to awaken those aspects that need recognition so you can reach those higher levels in life.

Compare the above to your life and see how it fits. I sense there are issues from earlier life that are holding you back and you have yet to acknowledge these properly. You possess special skills but are unable to utilize them because of the emotional energies related to these 'unconscious' issues.

Let me know your thoughts and then perhaps we can gain more insights from the dream. They may reveal more of the unconscious energies that are at work. In the meanwhile I'll analize your second dream.

Jerry

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Thank you for taking the time to interpret my dream!
I must say that the alarm was a real thing which woke me up, it wasn't in my dream :)
As for the things that hold me back from my childhood, I could venture and say that I didn't have enough love from my father. He shunned all emotion and personal involvement. He only cared about ideas and debates and imposing his will, so I saw him as cold and tyrannic. I yearned for his affection but he didn't know how to give it. Perhaps I have the same tendency to reject all emotional display, seeing it as weakness, and sometimes I feel bad or empty and I don't know why. It's some sort of existential dilemma. Again what I dislike about myself is that I don't seem to find my way with a certain artistic expression, something to be considered my own "style". Perhaps there's no need for a style. I don't know, I have to think it thoroughly or simply not take it so much at heart. Thing is, the person I admire and who has a good career from art-making insists that I develop a style and that I should work on my own and only on the stuff I want to make. But even so, it is very hard to do that and be so single-minded. I'm a team person and most of all, doing only what I want feels like putting my fantasies out for the people to see... But I want those hidden, I would be ashamed to make the art I really want. As a teenager I tried to do that but it was ridiculed (also by my dad and brother) so maybe that's why I don't trust my own voice.
Sadly, my father passed away a month ago. It was a shock to all of us, not just because of the previously unknown medical condition, but also because we finally started to rekindle our link...
I had pretty awful dreams soon after.There was this bunch of cows tied together in a very small pen, so tight they couldn't move and afterwards they change into naked women with large scars across their bodies, crying and crowded, tied with some sort of sharp chain. In my dream this chain proves out to be a necklace of my uncle's girl-friend. And when asked about the sharp blades attached to it she says (in my dream) that it's normal for her to prefer sharp jewelry and shows me more similar chains hanging in her closet. In reality I don't like this woman, she is two-sided and doesn't love my uncle at all: she smiles in your face then gossips behind your back. Also i had another dream with the main images being a severed right hand and 3 white wolves seated side by side in an empty dark train moving through a dark desert.
Anyway, if you still want to tell me about the second dream in my post, I would be very happy!

Thank you!

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Zelkova,
I would focus on the non-relationship you had with your father {non-relationship in he wasn't a father who provided the needed love and acceptance a child should receive}. That will likely provide answers to your personality trait as described in your statement, Perhaps I have the same tendency to reject all emotional display, seeing it as weakness, and sometimes I feel bad or empty and I don't know why. Early life experiences/impressions, especially with parents, are the key to unconscious motivators for actions and traits in adulthood. Your father didn't know how o give you the attention you desired/required/deserved and you are imitating those actions {I did much the same when I was a young man, not having the father relationship I needed so much to develop a balanced psyche}. It is difficult enough in today's material world to open up to the artistic aspect because our culture's are so focused on the outer things in life. Those things are only temporary. Not until we discover our true selves can we find harmony in life. And that requires the 'inward journey' the psychological investigation to discover the unconscious motivators of personality and actions in adulthood. You will find it hard if not impossible to find your own style because there are unconscious energies that are blocking your 'view'.

Your statement, I'm a team person and most of all, doing only what I want feels like putting my fantasies out for the people to see... But I want those hidden, I would be ashamed to make the art I really want. As a teenager I tried to do that but it was ridiculed (also by my dad and brother) so maybe that's why I don't trust my own voice , I'm a team person and most of all, doing only what I want feels like putting my fantasies out for the people to see... But I want those hidden, I would be ashamed to make the art I really want. As a teenager I tried to do that but it was ridiculed (also by my dad and brother). Why is it you would be ashamed of making the art you really want? Is it because of the ridicule by family? Fantasies are an expression of what is really inside and if you keep the creative aspects bottle up you are holding in who you really are {of course anything that is harmful to you or others, something due to psychological neurosis, would be different and may require therapy}.

As for the cow dream. It could be the cows represent nurturing aspects and those aspects are penned up to the point you can move {this would be from a lack of nurturing as a child}. The change into naked women is exposing the unconscious energies that motivate your psyche. These have caused emotional scares. Your true self is chained to this inner aspect. The necklace would symbolize unmet emotional needs {the neck connects the body and mind, unconscious and conscious self}. Your uncle's girlfriend would likely have something in common with you, something you share with her that relates {uncle} to your psychology. She has similar chains in her closet {which could be a statement of cat pertaining to her life}. Her response about the sharp blades is your own attitude {why you want to keep certain aspects hidden?} due to the emotional blades you possess. The woman you do not like is you, the hidden aspects you can not/will not let out. The two sides are the opposites of who you are on the outside {not letting your true self out} and who you really are on the inside. The gossip represents you are doing something that will hinder your progress in being your true self.

You may be able see the pattern here if you will think of how your early life lacked the sufficient nourishment of love, affection and attention in early life. These negative imprinting become motivators for personality and conscious actions later in life. Again, I had very similar issues in my life and it was only when I discovered what they were {a father abandoned my mother and 4 kids} and once I discovered those unconscious forces and began to neutralize them I no longer was held captive by them. What you don't want to do is repress the energies because they will no only continue to unconsciously control your life the energies could manifest themselves into something even worse {neurosis or even psychosis}.

If you want to post the about the empty train do so. It may reveal in more detail the unconscious energies in your life. Dreams play out in a series, a process that takes place when working with your psychology. Each dream can offer something new and when it comes together your dreams will begin to be positive because your life is once again on track to wholeness {nature's intent to begin with}.

Jerry

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