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Re: A house w/ Christmas lights/Analysis Part Two

Agsunshine,
Sorry for not giving a response sooner. So much time required for other things I sometimes wonder if I am retired. I bought a house several months back and that is a responsibility in itself, upkeep, mowing grass, etc. The thing that keeps me most busy is trying to care for the feral/community cats in my neighborhood. I've had 9 spay/neutered in the past three weeks and have at least that many more. I have been involved in improving conditions at the local animal services {we have made great progress-the future looks good}, hoping to save as many animals from being unnecessarily euthanize. I am very much an animal person with 4 cats and a dog {back in Tennessee}. It does put a strain financially but I've made it my job to do what I can to care for the neighborhood felines. Ending the cycle of reproducing is essential and feeding them gets expensive. But I chose to do this and I aim to keep that commitment.

As for your response. There does seem to be a lot of issues not only within your psyche but also with your bf. It doesn't sound as if the relationship will last much longer. I dare say he has a lot of issues also, his not wanting to open up to you. He may be using that by pointing to your issues, deflecting his own and placing it on you. Not a good situation to be in when you have staked so much emotionally into it.

My advice is to work on your issues and let the relationship go where it may. If he is dead set on moving and getting his law degree then I doubt you can change that. It doesn't seem to be an option that you go with him {even if you wanted to}. I would begin to look toward the future and in doing so resolve those issues you have. Resentment is an issue. Look at personality traits as well as why you possess them. If you only acknowledge they exist and not discovering the reasons why you can not expect them to go away. Confronting and resolving the underlying causes is essential if you wish to get past the issues. The next relationship will definitely go better if you have worked on your inner self. That will be reflected in the conscious self. Not only will the chances of success in future relationships be greater, the relationship with yourself will improve also. I dare say by resolving the emotional conflicts in your life will put you in a better position not only in choosing a future partner but insuring the relationship will last. If you look at your current relationship you can see both are at fault. You can't change him but you can change who you are. Not just superficially by by doing the 'soul' work required to understand the true inner self. Choosing the bad boy type is not just by coincidence. It is unconsciously motivated and discovering those unconscious factors will end the cycle of wrong choices. With the impending end to this relationship {it does sound as if it is dying} take the opportunity to reinvent yourself wholly, completely and permanently.

Jerry



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Re: A house w/ Christmas lights/Analysis Part Two

Jerry,

No problem at all I understand that you also have a life even though you are retired. It seems like you are extremely busy a house is a lot of work & that is a beautiful thing you are doing w/ the cats.

Yes, our relationship is nonexistent at this point. We are both to blame. Neither one of us are whole & well enough for a healthy relationship at this time. I have just decided to work on myself & not b w/ anyone for a while until I can get these issues worked out. I hope to in the future have a successful relationship that will last a lifetime. I do acknowledge the issues that I have but I know it's not enough to acknowledge them I have to action & work on them and I am doing this. Thank you for all of your help. You have really help me to see things in a different light. I appreciate your time.

Thanks so much!


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