Sorry it took so long to respond. Please explain to me what an animus is. The term is foreign to me. You're most likely right. My past is a bit depressing when it come to men and it started when I was 5. I won't say I hate men but other than my step dad and brothers, I haven't had any good experiences with them. I have a habit of sabotaging my relationships when I start to get emotionally connected. At this point in my life, I feel like its safer to focus on my kids and not get involved. I don't understand, though, why I would have subconscious thoughts about any of it. I don't think about my past and I stay positive about my relationships during the rare times I think about it. I'm not angry anymore and it doesn't bother me when people ask me about it. This isn't the first dream about men that woke me up in the middle of the night. How do I make them go away?? They're always so real... I can actually feel the physical pain and still remember it like it was yesterday. Sometimes, I wonder if half of it was reality. Any advice on fixing it would be much appreciated. I don't want to push men away forever.

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Alexis,
Click on the word animus {in red} and it will take it to my page on Anima/Animus. In short the animus is the masculine aspects/tendencies within women. All women possess an animus and all men possess an anima {the feminine aspects}. An example of the animus would be the ability to take charge, to be independent, assertiveness, courage, etc. These abilities can be greatly damaged in early life if there is an emotional 'disturbance' in a woman's life. Or if the early life is full of experiences where a male exerts negative traits such as abandonment, physical and/or mental abuse, or there is a traumatic experience done to the female child by a male. Your negative experiences are likely the cause of your damaged animus. They become unconscious motivators for personality and actions in adulthood. Such damage is a primary reason for your sabotaging of relationships in your life. These cause an emotional conflict and a function of dreams is to help the person resolve such conflicts {just as the body has the immune system nature provide the psyche/psychology with dreams}. The negative energies associated with the conflicts are depicted in our dreams which have a language of symbol and metaphor {the house is a symbol and the metaphor is the house is you}.

In your dream there is a shooting and talk of dying. Death and dying seldom every are literal but represent an end to something which always has a beginning of something else/new. Your life was changed because of early life experiences/influences {what you witness/experienced as a child in men becomes a set image and unconscious motivator in later life}. Your sabotaging of relationships may be the symbolic reference of not learning lessons from previous experiences, and in the dream the language, "I was at a high school, although I know I never went to any of the classes." You tend to repeat the same patterns which are due to the unconscious motivators learned in childhood. You don't think about these negative energies because they are unconscious. Dreams are a direct link to the unconscious.

I do have a question to do with the high school reference in your dream. Was there any 'significant' experiences in high school that could add to your negative animus? All dreams, all dream images have at least two meanings/applications and although the 'learning' aspect I noted is likely one that fits in your life, usually the reference to a high school would also point to actual experiences in that time frame. You began life with a negative animus and any other significant negative experiences could add to that. A response to this question will be helpful since I am always wanting to learn about possible 'universal' patterns that occur in dreams. Time/time frame is often a major inclusion and focus of dreams and if the high school symbol is reflective of an actual experience, it would re-enforce the probability of my assumptions.


As for how to fix the negative animus, that would require either a thorough and prolonged self 'psyche' examination which in turn would require an in-depth knowledge of Jungian psyche. Or the more likely requirement the need to consult a therapist/psychologist to guide you through the process. Not just any therapist/psychologist but one with knowledge in Jungian psychology who preferably uses dreams to get to the unconscious contents. A 'usual' session with a non-Jungian psychologist may have taken several visits to get to what we have discovered by merely interpreting one dream. Such is 'the power of dreams'.

Jerry

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