First off, thank you so much for responding to this. Second, wow, I gained so much insight from your analysis. Alright, so here goes...

I think at the time I had the dream, I was in middle school. I'm a pretty short person, and I was still growing in middle school up to the height I am now, which is 5'2", so me not reaching the pedals could be from seventh grade and under, really. I think I had it early middle school, though, maybe sixth or seventh grade. I'm not sure when I first saw the third HP, but it could've been at that time. In a lot of my dreams, I'm usually smaller than my real self, which I find a bit weird, but after thinking about it, that has been the case in many dreams I've had, even recently.

My dad was a Marine for a bit when he was younger, so he has a very strict way of controlling his household, and he tends to easily lose his temper, even with very simple things. He pulled a gun on my brother when my brother was 12, I think, after he hit my sister, and threatened him with it, which was three years ago, I think. I've pretty much always feared my dad, and still do, sort of, but I have the will to fight back, which is probably why my dreams now rarely ever involve my dad, and hardly ever my mom, too.

I've had problems with people (trusting too easily, being too afraid to let them go, holding onto people that hurt me, etc) many times in my life, mostly through middle school. Sixth grade wasn't as bad as seventh, where I went through one of those darker phases in life, especially after being 'betrayed' by someone I thought was a friend. I suppose a lot of these experiences I had (including some where people have died in my life that I was very close to) could represent those dark times in my life that I'm trying to suppress. I was always the mistake, and my parents let me know early on that they never intended to have me (but they did say they loved me just the same). I think I always just brushed it off, pretending not to care I was the kid they never really wanted, the kid they accidentally had too young, but whenever I joke about it now, I find that I am less amused by it than a little hurt whenever I see that we're in financial trouble. Which also leads to the way I was raised as a kid. Because my dad was in the military, he's always wanted things very tidy, and he doesn't think good deeds earn you anything (like if I do my chores without being asked to, and I want something in return, he doesn't think I deserve it, etc). So, I learned never to ask for anything as a child, and I usually never do now, so I've become the kid that never asks my parents for advice, money, devices, but I always ask permission to do things. I realized our financial troubles early on and learned to live with it and be the kid that wouldn't ask for something even if I really wanted it, because dad would tell me I don't need it and mom would tell me we couldn't afford it.

I love my parents, even if they aren't perfect, but I've been at that point in life since about...seventh grade, but more so in ninth grade, when I feel I could leave them forever and never turn back because I've detached myself from them. Since my dad was raised so religiously, and my mom is a sort of Christian, they've always forced their beliefs on me. So, I guess that made it easier for me to want to be my own person and ignore their wishes constantly. I usually never talk to them, especially in situations where I want to express how I feel because when I told them I didn't believe in God in ninth grade my dad threatened to have me exorcised (since then, they haven't acknowledged that I don't believe). They pretend they listen to me, and then continue to force their ideals on me, which is both hurtful and hypocritical. So, really, I just suppress everything I should say to them, and I feel like they don't know me at all, and if they did know who I really am, they'd disown me (at least, my father would).

My father's really the problem, as he influences my mom's decisions and how she thinks, so they've sort of become the same person to me now. He's just so set in his ways and his ideas that he thinks there is no other way. He wants to be able to control the way his children live and think, while also asking us how we think (and if he doesn't like the answer, you better bet he'll get it to change).

So, there has always been many things I keep repressed. I'm a writer, so I guess I display many of these things in what I write, but I just...am not entirely sure how to deal with my situation, so it comes to me in dreams. My biggest problem is that they don't understand me, and although they ask to, I know they'd hate the answer to: Who is my daughter?

Sorry for the long response... I'd just like to understand if there's something I should be doing, or if I should just save it, because I'm the type of person to avoid so many things, including confrontation.

Thanks for the analysis, again.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 17/Female VA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} No

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Of course

Anon,
You have plenty of things from your childhood you can be 'running' from. The Dementors could easily apply toy your father {and mother by her coalescing to his wishes} . The feeling you are smaller than your actual size suggests inferiority traits. That could be a result of childhood and parenting {people evolve differently although have pretty much similar experiences}. What needs to be understood are the unconscious energies that formed your psyche and personality and how they affect and motivate your actions as an older teen. This will require therapy {we all have issues that do} from a trained therapist or psychologist. The trust you put into people and can't let go of would be a result of these unconscious energies. Getting to those issues would be important since it is likely an ongoing issue and will remain so until the issues are understood and either resolved.

Suggestion. As a writer it may do you well to learn to express yourself through your writing. What is repressed, built up emotional energies that need a release, can find an outlet through creativity. My own negative experiences as a child {which motivated me down the wrong path for the first 42 years of my life} found expression in my learning web design and through my dream work. One important aspect of the psyche that Jung gave great emphasis to was the creative self. Through the muses we not only find universal patterns {mythology} that apply to each individual life {yours may be the Dementors of Harry Potter} but an outlet to express what is within. This is the usual path for most artists whether they be writers, musicians, poets, artists, etc. Mt Myths-Dreams-Symbols {which I started in 1998} was my outlet, my other self expressing my true being as I traveled the path to self discovery {psychological}. Take the negatives and learn to express them in your writing. This is good therapy and in the process you lean so much about yourself that can have a healing effect . Not only that you are sharing your experiences so others who have similar emotional pain can find solace from your writing. You are in essence using your spiritual identity because by sharing from the creative soul is a spiritual endeavor. Immerse yourself in these aspects of creativity and see where it leads. If you are doing what you love most doing then you are performing self therapy, self healing. This was/is my path and the results were a transformation of the old to the new. The new is what is already within you, you need only to bring that true person out. Do it with your writing, your creative self.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Thank you, Jerry. You've helped a lot. Think I'll be doing a lot more writing and trying to repair everything I've been repressing... You're a great dream analyst, and you probably deserve to be paid for this - I'm just glad you aren't charging. It says a lot about you and your character. Thanks for allowing me to discover what I need to do.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 17/Female VA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} No

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Of course

Thank you, Jerry. You've helped a lot. Think I'll be doing a lot more writing and trying to repair everything I've been repressing... You're a great dream analyst, and you probably deserve to be paid for this - I'm just glad you aren't charging. It says a lot about you and your character. Thanks for allowing me to discover what I need to do.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 17/Female VA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} No

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Of course