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Doll

Hi Jerry.
Last night I had a dream which was rather vague, but I have recorded what I remember...

I dreamt that I was trying to exclude myself from a group of unfamiliar guys, roughly my age, perhaps a fraternity of some sort because I didn't support their way of doing something (not sure exactly what it was). I left the building and looked back and noticed one of the members talking to my older brother about the fact that I'd left. He looked a bit concerned and looked out down off the verandah to see if he could see me. (In real life, I see my older brother as sometimes quite insensitive, a bit judgemental and tends to be a bit of a policemen, wielding a type of authority in which his 'common sense' prevails, but we get along well.)

Later on, I found myself back in the building and decided to hide in a storage space behind a closed door while others walked past. Another of my older brothers (who is, in real life more sensitive, curious and intellectual. We are very close) opened the door and although I wasn't concerned that he'd found me, I decide to disguise myself from others that may walk past by holding up a doll - a child's toy of some sort. I can't describe the doll completely, but I think it was about 40 cm, not sure about gender etc, but it was the shape of a baby or toddler. My brother noticed me holding this doll up to my face and asked me some questions and I responded by making the doll nod or shake it's head like a puppet while I remained obscured. I was fully aware and unconcerned that he knew it was me, but another guy that walked past didn't seem to identify me.

Later on, I came out of the hiding place (without the doll) and talked to one of the guys (who was unfamiliar and was of a different race to me) that I was ****** off at. I told him I didn't like that he was so insensitive and that's why I'd chosen to remove myself from them, because I felt like the group values were against mine in some sense. He didn't respond much, perhaps acknowledged what I said, but mostly remained quiet.

Paul

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27 m Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Internet Search

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes 4/12/15

Re: Doll

Paul,
As all dreams do this one is addressing underlying conscious energies that motivate conscious attitudes and actions. I also sense there are specific experiences involved that only you would know. Those probably have to do with your brother or brothers, possibly shared experiences. The inclusion of your brothers would like indicate this although associations to their attitudes you identify with would be another reason for their inclusion of the dream. There is a strong indication of a least an 'indifference' to specific attitudes if not experiences. You ill have to determine what those might be.

Here is my interpretation of the images/actions {preceded by the dream paragraph}. I've included an interpretation of the dream title as well since it very often lays teh ground for what the dream is trying to communicate.



Doll
-a statuette modeled after framework {emotional} taking human form

Dream
I dreamt that I was trying to exclude myself from a group of unfamiliar guys, roughly my age, perhaps a fraternity of some sort because I didn't support their way of doing something (not sure exactly what it was). I left the building and looked back and noticed one of the members talking to my older brother about the fact that I'd left. He looked a bit concerned and looked out down off the verandah to see if he could see me. (In real life, I see my older brother as sometimes quite insensitive, a bit judgemental and tends to be a bit of a policemen, wielding a type of authority in which his 'common sense' prevails, but we get along well.)

-trying to exclude myself from a group of unfamiliar guys-repressing/ignoring/forgotten unconscious experiences that motivate conscious actions
-roughly my age-issues you currently are dealing with/unconsciously influenced by
-perhaps a fraternity-emotional complex?
-didn't support way of doing something-not being your true self/doesn't support true desires/needs
-left building and looked back-conscious self influenced/motivated by early life/childhood experiences
-noticed one member talking to older brother-unconsciously complying with characteristics/experiences of/with older brother
-about fact I left-past negative experiences that are repressed/forgotten/ignored
-looked concerned-apparent conscious unsettled emotions
-out down off veranda-affecting persona/personality

Dream
Later on, I found myself back in the building and decided to hide in a storage space behind a closed door while others walked past. Another of my older brothers (who is, in real life more sensitive, curious and intellectual. We are very close) opened the door and although I wasn't concerned that he'd found me, I decide to disguise myself from others that may walk past by holding up a doll - a child's toy of some sort. I can't describe the doll completely, but I think it was about 40 cm, not sure about gender etc, but it was the shape of a baby or toddler. My brother noticed me holding this doll up to my face and asked me some questions and I responded by making the doll nod or shake it's head like a puppet while I remained obscured. I was fully aware and unconcerned that he knew it was me, but another guy that walked past didn't seem to identify me.

-found myself back at building-unconsciously reverting to early life influences/experiences
-hide in a storage space-storing/pushing experiences into unconscious
-closed door-close off emotions/emotional experiences
-while others walked past-while living in present life
-another older brother-aspects of other brother
-opened door and found me-opened to other brother's attitudes {sensitive}
-decide to disguise myself from others-hiding emotions
-by holding up a doll-putting on a facade to hide true self/feelings
-doll 40 cm-the number represents wholeness
-in shape of baby or toddler-shaped by experiences from very early life
-brother noticed me holding doll up to my face-aspects {related to brother characteristics} of self that cause you to comply with established influences that form your personality
-asked me some questions-
-I responded by making doll nod or shake it's head like a puppet-responding to and controlled unconscious stimuli
-while I remained obscured-obscured energies within unconscious
-fully aware/unconcerned-consciously abiding by with and indifferent to unconscious energies
-he knew it was me-aware of actions
-but another guy didn't identify me-not aware of unconscious influences

Dream
Later on, I came out of the hiding place (without the doll) and talked to one of the guys (who was unfamiliar and was of a different race to me) that I was ****** off at. I told him I didn't like that he was so insensitive and that's why I'd chosen to remove myself from them, because I felt like the group values were against mine in some sense. He didn't respond much, perhaps acknowledged what I said, but mostly remained quiet.

-I came out of his hiding place without doll-being your true self in later life
-talked to one unfamiliar guy/different race-aspects to do with shadow
-I was ****** off at-angry with self
-didn't like that he was so insensitive-a quality you dislike/possess {being insensitive}
-remove myself from them-removing/not adhering to these qualities
-because group values were against mine-
-he didn't respond/acknowledged what i said-not responding to unconscious energies/acknowledging they exist
-mostly remained quiet-quieting the emotional energies

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Doll

Thanks for helping shed light on my dream Jerry, I really appreciate your time.

I found this dream interesting because of the doll acting as a facade. I felt that this had something to do with persona because I do have some conflicts with deciding what parts of me I should present in a social sense. On one hand, I can just smile and listen, observe. On the other hand, I require to be able to express myself, but I feel as though this would be quite different to the predominant social modes I am surrounded by. I find my place in having a few very close relationships and avoiding large groups of people which tend to sap my energy.


In big groups >4 or 5, I've noticed there are times that I feel like I must step into a persona, but I am still struggling to locate something that feels like I am expressing a genuine part of myself. Persona feels uncomfortable recently. That being said, I feel like I do express my true self more now than I did 5 years ago!

Ideally, I would like to integrate expressing myself socially with positively influencing others, and I feel like I'm still developing in some sense.

Having brothers to analyse is useful as there are parts of them I can relate to as active or repressed parts of myself.


Also, I'd like to comment on the whole sensitivity vs. insensitivity thing which seems to be a theme in my life at the moment. Once upon a time, I felt much more cold, hard and impermeable than I am now, seeing anything else as a weakness. After some experimentation and practising techniques such as compassion meditation and what I would call heart chakra opening exercises, this once dominant 'insensitive' mode of operating has become something that I believe I am actively repressing.

There seems to be a polarisation where I have a choice of either 1. Process by thinking, rationalising, becoming impermeable to emotional information or 2. Feel, empathise, become permeable to emotional information and let it affect me. In reality I feel like I can now take some of both 1. and 2. so I'm neither a cold hearted ******* or a sobbing mess! I often acknowledge that I have changed from exclusively 1. to both 1. and 2. and get the sense that I have the choice of processesing things as either 1. or 2. or both.

And now, I often find myself observing other people that are functioning exclusively as 1. and feeling negatively about them, whilst acknowledging 'that was once me.' Projecting I guess.

Paul.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27 m Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Internet Search

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Doll

Paul,
I'll provide a response hopefully tomorrow. I do see your response as fitting with the dream images. A positive dream in many ways reflecting the positive changes you have consciously undertaken in your life.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes


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